Lar-ton's A/N: This chapter would have been uploaded last night…but due to cough technical difficulties we couldn't. You see Sunrise looks towards Rage in the hope she won't have to tell the horridly embarrassing story that fully highlights her stupidity, no luck as Rage shakes her head Fanfic went all funny on me, so I thought I'd just load it onto Document manager and load it later…we came to load it this morning in tutorial…only groans and bangs head on desk I'd loaded it onto my sunrise account. Needless to say Rae went on and on and on about it all day long…curse her!

Anyway, Last chapter (Ooohh chapter 13, spooky!) and we'd just like to say we hoped all enjoyed it…and if you've been reading but not reviewing, please do one for this chapter…please! BIG thank you to Smegginitlarge (Rockin' our socks!) and Feline Ranger, for simply reviewing.
Cheers
Final note: my, my this is a long A/N…


The opening titles of the news programe faded out as the blonde newswoman raised her head.

Despite the fact she had the won the 'Sunniest smile on TV' award 3 years running, her face was grave.

She politely cleared her throat before reading off the auto-cue. "The world of music is today in mourning...for the death of Rock legend, Dave Lister."

An image of Lister appeared next to her as she paused respectfully.

"His death has shocked and saddened the industry, his fans, but most of all his friends. Dave Lister, front man of 3-digit number has changed the world of music with his controversial attitude to life and song writing. He's redifined music, and his death will be a great loss to everyone…"

The newswoman performed a well-practiced hair flick before continuing in the same monotone voice "Hundreds of fans have gathered outside the Marlinton Record studio, where Dave recorded most of his music".

Eerin sat and stared at the TV screen without blinking.

She knew she shouldn't be watching this...it would only upset her. She could already feel herself on the verge of tears.

It was silly really.

What would Dave say if he could see her now?

She moved her hand towards the remote, but then thought better of it. She went back to hugging her knees, concentration solely on the TV, hanging onto the newswoman's every word.

She jumped out of her skin as a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders protectively.

"What are you watching?" whispered a voice in her ear.

"Your death" she smiled, nodding her head towards the TV.

Lister laughed "Is there nothing better on?

"It's really weird," sighed Eerin, moving over so Lister could sit down. "I mean, they're all going on about you dying...and well you here, with me very much alive..." she paused "are you sure this is what you want?" she asked gently

"God yeah" replied Lister "I'm sick of all that rock star crap, and I can still write music here, I'll just send it over to Paul and Rob and they'll say they found it, they can release an album, get all the fame and all that other junk...and I can be happy here with you!"

Eerin smiled and cuddled close to Lister "I love you"

"Yeah, I love me too" teased Lister,

"Big head" yelled Eerin hitting Lister about the head with a pillow, before her arms were pinned down. She giggled as Lister leaned in for a kiss and didn't argue when he started to slide her camisole straps off her shoulders.

Just as things were getting raunchy, they were rudely interrupted.

"Yoo-hoo!" called Cally, throwing her arms wide to further announce her arrival just incase flinging the door open with tremendous force wasn't enough.

Lister swore as Eerin hurriedly pulled her top back on. "Don't you ever knock?" he snapped, getting off the couch, Cally gave him an incredulous look before walking back over to the door and tapping her knuckles on it. "Ha ha" said Lister, unenthusiastically.

Cally flashed him a smile "Not interrupting anything am I?"

"Well yes actually" said Eerin,

Cally simply shrugged "It's okay, just carry on with it, pretend i'm not here…"

"No... We'll erm, leave it till later!"

"Listen, I've got some great news...I've met this guy, and he's the one"

The reaction to this wasn't the one Cally hoped for; Lister rolled his eyes and walked over to the drinks cabinet. He placed a large bottle of whiskey on the coffee table "booze on standby" he said, flopping down the sofa.

Cally frowned "but this guy's different!" she protested, looking towards Eerin for feminine support.

"Sure, just like all the others," said Lister sarcastically.

Cally gave him a sharp slap on the back of the head "reserve your judgement till you meet him" and with that she scurried out the door before returning seconds later with her 'new man' in tow.

Lister had to admit, even at first sight, this guy was different. He was the complete opposite of Cally's usual type. He was fairly short and skinny with light brown hair, no highlights (for some unnameable reason, Cally loved guys with highlights) and extensive 5 o clock shadow, and glasses.

"Hi" he waved nervously "I'm Warren"

Cally beamed "he's a writer" she announced excitedly.

Lister was really taken aback by that statement "A writer...what, not a DJ, or an up and coming pop star?"

"Or an out of work porn star?" offered Eerin

"No" sighed Cally "a writer…"

Lister frowned, "What d'you write about?"

Warren coughed, "Mostly nature, and animals, literature" he glanced at Cally, "...love"

Eerin gave him another look over, "Not celebrity exposes?" she asked, scrupulously

"No..."

"Poodle hairstyles?"

"Not that I recall"

"How to firm your breasts naturally?"

"I-"

"How to achieve the ultimate orgasm?"

Warren blushed a fetching shade of magenta, "Well I've been known to dabble in the erotic, yes but-"

Eerin whooped, "I knew it!"

Cally slipped a long arm round his waist and bit her lip, "Do you want to hear what he wrote for me?" she said dreamily.

Lister nodded grimly, whilst Warren took out a slip of paper from his pocket.

"Cally. My Buttercup. Your hair is like -a buttercup. You eyes are like - a blue dolphin. You breasts are like two slightly over-ripe pomegranates. You are my love, wonderful. You make my heart beat faster than when a lion chased me. You make my stomach feel like it was going to fall out when I ate rotten carrots when I had the cheap vegetarian special at le noir chat. You are my scally-wag. Mischievous, my sweet Cally…"

Lister and Eerin tried not to look too freaked out as Warren looked at them expectantly.

"Isn't he sweet?" cooed Cally, pulling Warren into a tight bear hug.

"Yeah, you guys coming outside?"

"No thanks" laughed Cally "we prefer to have sex indoors!"

It took a few seconds for Lister to get what she was going on about "Mate" he said to Warren "I'd leg it if I were you!"

He then walked out into the garden after Eerin. Sian and Rimmer were sat on a sun bed together, arguing but looking incredibly sweet wrapped in each other's arms.

From the looks of it, Rimmer was loosing the argument, but rather then admit defeat he simply placed his lips on Sian's and kissed her.

It is impossible, of course, to argue and kiss at the same time.

Eerin slipped her arms round Lister "happy? She sighed.

"More than you will ever know" he smiled.

It was when he was sat by Eerin's bedside in the hospital, did Lister suddenly have an idea. Well, it was more of thought.

He needed to get away from everything; he needed to get away from Jerry, the band, his music career. But hiding had proved firstly difficult and pointless.

It was then that an idea presented itself to Lister. If he died...then he'd get away from all this...

He made a few calls, and faked his own death before leaving the country. He'd bought a small island off the south coast of Barbados (an impulse buy he had to admit) a few years back, the locals were friendly, trustworthy and it was a cert that no paparazzi would be there.

And here he was, stood next to the girl he loved, his friends and their partners close by.

"What about Jerry?" asked Eerin suddenly "you never said what happened to him!"?

Lister grinned "You're not gonna believe this but...he's moved to San Francisco with Gwen!"

"No way" laughed Eerin, "San Francisco!"

"Yep, I can just picture Jerry and Gwen now...waltzing their way down the sidewalk, Tipsie trotting behind along them with her scary looking offspring...if you ask me they deserve each other!"

"Like I deserve you," said Eerin cheekily.

Lister pulled her close "Eerin, I'm gonna do this proper...so, here I go...Eerin, would you marry me?"

Eerin screamed happily "YES, YES, YES" she cried, dancing about.

Elsewhere Rimmer stroked Sian's hair as she lay in the sun "Sian?" he said thoughtfully.

Sian titled her head towards him to show she was listening,

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure…"

"What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"

Sian blinked before yelling "Hell Yeah!" she flung her arms around Rimmer's neck and promptly burst into tears of joy.

In the living room, Cally and Warren were cuddled up close on the couch.

"Warren…" said Cally, "D'you reckon we should get married?"

The Vicar smiled. "I now pronounce you man and wife!"

The guests cheered, some dapped their eyes as the couple shared their first kiss as a married couple. And as they both ran down the aisle, confetti showering on them, they stopped and gazed at each adoringly.

"Love you Gwen!"

"Love you Jerry!"

END

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