Lie To Me Chapter 7

Faith laid naked on the couch, feeling the leather cushions grabbing slightly at her moist skin as she panted, waiting for him. Finally rid of his pants, he appeared above her again. Xander looked down into her eyes as he positioned himself over her, breathing just as heavily as she was. She smiled softly at him and he reflected the gesture before lowering himself down slowly and kissing her neck in just that right place. She moaned contently in his ear as she pressed her hand against his lower back, pulling him into her.

"Uh, you're so warm," he whispered quietly to her, pulling her up off of the couch and closer to his own body with his arm now wrapped around her back.

"I love you," she whispered back, immediately pressing her lips against his and then pulled his upper lip in between hers and sucked on it gently. He paused in his movement and pulled back from the kiss slightly, looking deeply into her eyes.

"You love me?" he asked, a smile playing on the corner of his mouth. She smiled back at him – her expression filled with both passion and insecurity – then she hugged him, pressing his head towards her chest as she rested hers on the top of his head. His lips trailed down her chest and he felt her stomach muscles flex and quiver under his soft caress.

"I love you," she admitted again as he filled her so completely. His arms wrapped around her tightly – she felt secure but not restrained – as he rhythmically, and at a new angle each stroke, filled her and did everything he could to make her feel good.

"I love you too," he assured her, kissing the front of her throat where he knew a lump was from her insecurity in admitting her feelings for him. She arched her back under him, moaning so contently and softly to him. She only made those noises for him – they were the only ones that were genuine and she knew that. These noises didn't fall into a category that could be put in some three dollar porno and they weren't some act she put on to ensure that she could make him come back again. They were genuine, and only he'd ever heard them.

She could feel her heart quicken and the sweat pouring off of her as he made love to her, making her feel needed instead of just wanted. His arms were against her body with his hands tangled in her hair as he-

"Faith?" Buffy called, walking into Faith apartment. The door was closed but not locked, and after knocking once and getting no response, Buffy walked in, worried. Her worry increased when she saw Faith still silently asleep on her couch, the television set reflecting harsh light onto her face as she slept. As soon as Buffy stepped onto the wooden floor of the living room she saw Faith's eyes snap open in a mix of shock and what seemed to be disappointment.

"B, what are you doing here?" she asked, taking a deep, forced breath. Buffy watched her closely; their relationship would always be deep and complicated. She had gotten herself used to working with Faith again, but it was times like these – when Faith wasn't in her 'slayer mode' – that Buffy found the most useful in getting a sense of where Faith actually was.

"I… um…" she began to answer but her concern for Faith was increasing by the second as she watched her seeming to be fighting an internal battle. "Are you alright?" she asked, unable to keep herself silent on the thought.

"Yeah," she answered hoarsely, finally making it up to a sitting position on the couch, "Just a bad hangover, I guess," she lied. She wanted to just break down crying at the fact that she didn't have Xander there making love to her and telling her all of those things that she so desperately needed to hear and feel, and further more, the fact that Xander didn't want to be anywhere near her anymore – she was a whore after all! So not only did she have to deal with the lack of Xander, but she also had to deal with Buffy there, most likely giving her another job to do.

"Do you want some water?" Buffy asked, already walking towards the fridge, but not breaking eye contact with her. Faith nodded, concluding that she must look a lot worse than she hoped she was showing. Buffy returned with the glass and handed it to her sister slayer, still looking at her with that concerned, big sister look that just made her nervous. No one genuinely cared about her… no one!

"Thanks," she muttered as she took the water and took a sip. Buffy nodded and sat next to her on the couch, still looking at her. Faith glanced down at herself, almost positive that she must be wearing a sign that said 'I'm depressed' or something in huge obnoxious letters somewhere on her person. Seeing that she was lacking any written sign she just took another sip of the water.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Buffy asked again cautiously. She knew Faith was definitely not one to open up and she hated to force it, but she also had a much sharper sense to Faith's feelings than anyone else. Okay, not to give her complete psychic ability… there were almost dried lines of tears running down Faith's cheeks.

"No," she answered uncomfortably. Buffy raised her hand up and wiped the remaining wetness from her near cheek with the end of her sleeve. Faith forced a laugh, knowing the tears were just reflecting how she really felt inside, and needed to be disregarded.

"There was a… um… really sad movie on before… I forget the name of it," she babbled. Both of them glanced over to the television which was clearly playing cartoons. "Well, it was a movie when I fell asleep…" she added. Buffy let it slide, knowing causing a confrontation would make this go absolutely no where.

"It must get lonely here," she said softly, glancing around at the decently large apartment. "I know I say having all of the girls around drives me crazy, but I think I'd feel lonely without at least a dozen people home at any given time…"

"I did the high occupancy housing thing… I appreciate my alone time."

"I know you do," Buffy answered understandingly, "I'd get really lonely though…" She knew Faith was lonely – who wouldn't be. She'd known Faith as long as anyone else had and Faith had always felt lonely. Faith was an intense person and that went for her emotions as well – she was high maintenance and to make her feel involved and a part of things took constant effort. She'd grown up since the old days and didn't need as much constant affirmation, but that quality of hers was still there and still longing to be nurtured.

"So what are you doing here?" Faith asked again.

"Oh, there's an important meeting at seven and Giles wants everyone to be there. I figured you'd forget or sleep in if I just told you, so I figured I'd come and get you."

"What time is it now?" Faith asked, a yawn escaping her lips.

"It's quarter to seven," she answered.

"Fuck," Faith muttered, dragging herself off of the couch.

"So," Giles continued, standing up from his chair. He cleared his throat a few times and even scrunched his shoulders. He looked at everyone trying to gauge their reaction to his news. He had just explained to everyone that there had been news of a bunch of vampire attacks in Chicago. He thought it would be best for someone to go and settle down there for a few months and get the situation under control. He didn't have any thoughts as to who exactly should go, or want to go for that matter. It wouldn't be a permanent move, most likely, but Giles wanted to know if there needed to be an alternate headquarters made there.

To be completely honest, he saw himself having to ship out to Chicago for a few weeks because he didn't think anyone would volunteer, and he certainly didn't feel right about assigning anyone to do it. He didn't think it would be right to tell anyone that they needed to just uproot and leave town for an indefinite period. He was shocked when Faith nonchalantly raised her hand in a slight wave and answered,

"I'll go."

"Are you sure?" he asked quickly. His mind ran a mile a minute trying to figure out if she were just being more sarcastic than usual, or if she was actually volunteering. He knew Faith didn't generally have a problem getting up and leaving, but a part of him thought that that piece of her had changed in her whole maturation. He also thought he was getting the sense that Faith and Xander had perhaps been becoming something more than just road-trip buddies on various assignments.

"Yeah," she answered, "everyone else has jobs and stuff… I don't have any ties, so I'll go."

"But-" Kennedy began to argue but she stopped herself seeing the look of resolve on Faith's face. Kennedy then looked over at Xander and saw his heart crumble when Faith expressed her lack of any ties. If there was any doubt in her mind before about there being a thing going on between the two of them, it was completely gone.

"Well, it doesn't have to be definite as of yet," Giles answered, also catching the look from Xander. "It will still be a few weeks yet… before I have all of the arrangements made and…"

"It's cool. Just let me know," she answered, standing from her seat and walking out of the room.

"Very well," Giles answered, only that Faith was already gone and everyone else was beginning to dissipate, so his answer was more to himself. He pulled his glasses off of his face and cleaned them vigorously with a handkerchief. Giles placed his glasses back on his head and looked around. He was surprised to find that the only person still in the room with him was Xander.

Through his suspicions about the two of them having more of a connection than not, he suspected Xander would've run out of there. Giles was aware of Faith's past – when he had been sent her file from the Council he found himself almost obsessed with reading it and trying to understand the events and what their effects had been. He understood Faith's detachment from her lovers and her fear of committing and trusting them… all of them.

"Are you alright?" he asked, seeing Xander seeming to be quite distant in his stare.

"I'm fine," he answered, forcing himself to his feet.

"You seem a little… thoughtful."

"Yeah, I am…" he admitted, unsure of whether what Giles was implying was about what he was feeling but he was beyond caring at this point.

"Act on it," Giles said, still making Xander wonder whether or not they were on the same page.

"What?"

"She's not one to stop and think," he began, "and she's certainly not one to give someone else time to stop and think."

"Right…" Xander answered, still not completely clear on what Giles was getting at.

"You know… she's like anyone else, in that… well, once her emotions catch up to her, she seems to only run faster."

"We're talking about Faith, right? I just want to make sure I'm not completely clueless to this little philosophical speech you're giving," Xander joked, completely uncomfortable with Giles' serious tone and concern and especially his level of understanding.

"Whether either of you realizes it or not," he answered, ignoring Xander's need for levity, "she's giving you a running head start to catch her."

With that, Giles stood up from his chair again and walked out of the room.

"What the fuck?" Kennedy asked angrily, walking after Faith.

"What's up your ass?" Faith asked, turning towards her.

"You have no ties? You have no reason to stay… no one around that you think is important enough to be here for?" she asked furiously.

"Babe, Red's the one you're banging, not me," she clarified, "and according to her, you're pretty good, so I would say that would be a tie for me if it were me," she joked.

"You're getting good sex," she answered, shocking Faith completely in her confident delivery.

"I've learned to make it good with just about anybody," she covered, except it was her lacking the confident delivery.

Xander walked out of the room after thinking over what Giles had just told him. He saw Faith grabbing her leather jacket off of one of the chairs and then walking away from Kennedy. He picked up his pace and ended up to next to her in the hallway heading towards the exit.

"Over here," he commanded as he herded her into a side room. She begrudgingly was herded into the room which housed a couple of shelves of books with chairs and some reading lamps.

"What?" she asked curtly as he turned towards her after closing the door behind him. He looked at her, concern filling his eyes and her confidence immediately melted and her eyes shifted to the ground.

"How are you feeling?"

"Whore's are worth speaking to?"

"That really upset you…" he said, more as a reprimand for himself than anything else. He shook his head slightly without even realizing it and then looked over at her again as he stepped closer to her. Her eyes were still set onto the ground except for the occasional glances she made up at his face.

"I can't imagine why," she answered sarcastically. The hurt in her tone made him only angrier at himself. She motioned to walk past him and to the exit of the room but he jumped in front of her,

"Faith, please…" She pushed his hands away from her harshly and snapped,

"I told you this was over!"

"What are- I'm… I'm just worried about you. I don't want anything from you," he added, raising his hands away from her to prove his point.

"You're worried about me? Yesterday I was just some vulgar whore to you… someone who you could just spit on," she answered, her voice on the verge of breaking.

"Faith-"

"That's what this is?" she asked, glancing around the room, "Just another quickie for you? You really do think I'm a whore…" She motioned again to leave but he grabbed her arms to keep her there.

"I love you," he answered firmly as they both struggled against each other. She forced a laugh at his words and shook her head as though all of a sudden everything was just some sick joke. He was thrown by her shift in attitude. She bit her lower lip and then took his hands and ran them over her breasts as she said in a false seductive tone,

"Kiss me and tell me that you love me," she mocked. He pulled his hands away and stared down at the ground knowing not only what he had said the night before, but every time he had slept with her and agreed that it didn't mean anything was just fueling the rage behind her mockery. A part of him – the part that made him brave enough to continue – knew that she had to care about him, otherwise she wouldn't be nearly as upset. God she was so upset, he could see it!

"You may think it's just some fucking joke, Faith, but I do love you." She burst out into a forced laugh,

"You call someone you love a whore?"

"I was angry," he admitted.

"So when you're angry, love goes away until you're not angry anymore?"

"No."

"So you can love someone and purposely hurt them? You could get angry and hit a girl and you'd still say you cared about her?"

"You can love someone and purposely hurt them…" he repeated, not agreeing or disagreeing with the statement, just repeating it. "Like you could get angry at them and then fuck someone else just because you knew it would hurt them."

"So obviously this isn't love. Like I said, it's just… you don't love me," she answered resolutely.

"How can you be so fucking sure?" he asked, completely frustrated. "You're not exactly the expert in the loving parts of things… how do you know whether or not this is love?"

"Love is hard," she answered, tears surprisingly evident in her voice. "It hurts sometimes when you're in a fight, and it hurts even more when you're not because you can't stand everything inside of you and… love is a lot of things but it's never supposed to… it's… when someone loves you they're supposed to make you feel good about yourself. They're not supposed to make you hate yourself even more than you already do…"

"Faith…"

"You don't love me! No one loves me!"

"You don't let anyone!" he yelled back. The door to the room swung open and Willow and Buffy stopped short at the entrance.

"Is everything okay?" Buffy asked almost simultaneously with Willow saying,

"We heard yelling."

"Everything's fine," Faith answered curtly as she pushed past them to leave.