a/n Sorry for the delay--took a quick trip to eastern Europe and then fought my way through what I'm afraid is a rather boring chapter. My sincerest thanks to everyone who submitted reviews: they've been both motivating and inspirational. Further critique is always appreciated.

Chapter 3.

The best laid plans of mice and men...

It was nice to be heading into a first world nation for once. Mao sat in the cockpit jump-seat of the modified C-5 cargo jet, and watched the crowded shores of eastern Japan growing on the horizon. It was a rare treat to be able to anticipate clean, well marked roadways and aesthetically appealing architechture. Their last six months had been almost entirely composed of north African deployments and the thought of entering a country where she didn't have to cover her head (when not in uniform) was damn nearly euphoric. Too bad there wasn't likely to be enough time to get in any shopping (or bar hopping). She stood and made her way back to the hold for final checks and landing prep.

"Tell me again why we need two M-9's and a truck for this mission?" Mao gritted her teeth at the comment. Fortunately, there was always time to send Weber to the infirmary...

"Hard to move 700 pounds of machinery around without a truck."

"And two A-S's?"

"Backup. Something blasted the hell out of that lab, so in case whatever it is happens again, it would be nice not to be on the f#ed side of the firepower equation."

"Well, hell, if you're that scared, why didn't we just bring the Arbalest and a couple of tac nukes just in ca--" Kurz was sprawling sideways in the netting, gasping with sudden lack of lung capacity before he could finish his statement. He smirked. "Sorry."

"Right. Let's go over the plan one last time. Sousuke, you with us?" The younger sergeant had been staring off into space during their interchange, but nodded immediately, hearing his name. "Good. Okay, so when we touch down at the airport, I'll be meeting with our local rep. Our agent's set it up with the local PD so that I can interview the lab assistant. I'll get as many particulars on this thing as possible, and extend the captain's invitation for a field trip to Mr. Vermeer. According to intelligence, he's the only one left alive with technical knowledge regarding the project. Kurz, you'll take up position to monitor the main doors and windows of the lab building. We're going to want to know when everyone goes home for the night. Park your A-S as close as you can conceal it, then find a friendly rooftop and keep an eye out for lights in the windows and folks going home—and no getting distracted trying to look down coeds shirts with your scope!"

"Aw, but they're just soo cute!" He smiled irrepressibly as Mao glared at him, but nodded to let her know he still got the message.

"Sergeant Major, what is your strategy for extracting the project from the building? The building designs indicate insufficient clearances for us to simply lift it using our A-S's, and you've not mentioned the requisition of a forklift. Will demolition of an exterior wall be involved?" Sagara was to the point as always.

"Negative. This thing is an A-S, so presumably, it can be piloted to walk out of the building on its own power. Visually at least, it doesn't seem to have sustained any damage. I'm hoping that the lab assistant can give me a crash course to get it moving out of the building. If it's too complicated for that, perhaps he'll be able to walk it out for us himself."

"Given that I have the most experience in piloting the widest range of A-S models, might I suggest that I might be better suited to the task of learning and piloting this new one, Ma'am?"

"Sousuke wants to play with the new toy. He's got a point, though. That thing's so small, your, uh, assets might make it a tight squeeze in the torso, oh fearless leader."

"Weber, if you utter another word other than 'Roger' I'm going to take away your hope of grandkids, GOT ME?"

"Roger."

"Fine. In answer to your question, Sousuke, I believe you'll be most effective obtaining the mission's secondary objective. While Kurz is in position monitoring the lab, and I'm dealing with the lab assistant, you're to locate and determine an exit strategy for Chidori," she paused, noticing the way his face went blank and unreadable. "It's my understanding that the facility currently housing her has minimal security, but I don't think there's going to be a legal or above-board way to extricate her. Hit her apartment first, and see if you can find anything that might tell us what her exact involvement in all of this is, pack her some clothes and such, then relocate to the clinic and be ready to grab her and rendezvous with us at the lab on my signal." She tried to find some clue as to his feelings in her friend's eyes. He stared at the floor.

"I don't know what to say to her," his words were almost inaudible against the hum of the engines. Mao nodded in sympathy, then clapped him on the shoulder.

"Jump off that bridge when you come to it."

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Joel was sweating and out of breath when the officer lead him to the board room. He'd had to make one small detour, and had been watching his back rather carefully the whole time. Entering the room, he was surprised to see a woman in what appeared to be some sort of military uniform sitting at the table with the usual detectives. One of them he recognized. Detective Yoshinaka was with school security and had been the one to interrogate him at the scene.

"Mr. Vermeer, thank you for responding so quickly. Allow me to introduce Officer Kagura and Sgt. Maj. Mao of the JSDF." They all bowed back and forth, Joel having become rather adept at Japanese courtesies in his time at school. He noticed that the so called sergeant major was a little awkward at it, and stifled a smile. It had been a long day and he was going to have to be careful.

"Detective, may I ask before we begin whether the incident is still being considered a homicide or if it has been reclassified an accident?" At first, he'd been under suspicion, and he did not want to give them any chance comment which could be construed as incriminating. It was bad enough he had to lie to them to the degree he'd already done.

"At present, the incident is being regarded as a tragic accident. Unless you have new evidence?"

"I don't think so."

"Very well, then in that case, I'd like to go over the incident with you again from the top for my colleagues' benefit." The detective's voice was smooth and reasonable, and Joel tried desperately to keep his expression from revealing his frustration as he nodded. His time should be spent with Kaname, or in the lab! He looked up, the woman had said something that he'd missed.

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?"

"I was just apologizing for putting you through this again. I'm sure you've gone over it about a million times by now." She smiled sympathetically, and he automatically chalked her out as someone to watch out for. The kind ones were the most dangerous.

"Mr. Vermeer, could you please begin the night before the incident as you did in your statement?"

Joel sighed, and then launched once again into his account of the events leading up to the horrible morning. He told them about the brainstorming session the night before; how he'd left around midnight; how Kaname had not been present when he left; how Yoshi had a habit of staying late; how he'd had no reason to suspect anything unusual that night; how the project had been almost finished and showed no signs of catastrophic errors that he could detect. He carefully omitted the part about note-taking, the latest security measures, and the last letter that Yoshi had shown him. It took an hour. They cross questioned him, trying to elicit some alternate response, and he praised his verbatim memory once again when they failed to trip him up. Sgt. Mao never said a word.

He asked for a drink and was given a glass of water before retelling the details of the following morning. By now, he was able to recite them without pausing, only a fraction of a breath in the space where he omitted her last words: I killed him... and the screaming.

The detective and officer asked a few clarifications regarding the damage, and he thought he was just about off the hook when the woman finally cleared her throat.

"Was there any damage to the 'project'?"

"None that I could see, but I didn't run a diagnostic or anything."

"No signs of the explosion? No dirt?" The woman sounded merely curious, but he looked at her sharply—could she know?

"I didn't look at it all that closely. I was a bit preoccupied."

"And have you been back to the scene since then to inspect the 'project'?"

With an effort of will, he managed to keep his face neutral. "No. Not since that morning."

"Oh, good. Then you won't mind showing me around there today." She stood, and the others in the room did likewise.

"Sgt. would you like one of my officers to accompany you?"

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not planning on messing up the scene or anything. I'm assuming your people have been over it pretty thoroughly?" Her tone was that of someone used to being obeyed by local authorities. Not surprisingly, Yoshinaka-san backed down.

"Of course. Yes, anything you'd like to do there is quite all right with us."

"Good," she smiled, "I'm assuming you won't be needing Mr. Vermeer back this afternoon?"

"No, we know where to track him down." Joel did not miss the implied command that he should not do anything to change that. Within moments, he and the Sgt. Major were walking from the police station towards the parking lot.

"I'll drive, if you'll give directions." She pointed to a servicably nondescript car, and he hopped in. "So tell me," she asked as she buckled her seatbelt and began to wind her way into traffic, "what weren't you telling them?"

Joel felt like he'd been dumped into a bucket of ice-water and his hands clenched reflexively on his jeans. "Sure, if you'll tell me just who the hell you are," he forced a bravado he didn't feel. "Turn left here."

Mao smiled. "You know the school and the police are both providing us with their full cooperation. You wouldn't want me reporting that you'd decided to get touchy all of a sudden, would you?" She'd been watching him intensely all through the interview, and while she was quite certain that he was every bit the scared, young undergrad who'd just lost a close friend, there was something cautious and calculating about him that made her curious.

"No, but then, I didn't want my room searched this afternoon either."

"What?" this was the first she'd heard of this. Was there other "interest" that the captain and Kalinin hadn't found out about yet?

"I have problems with trusting someone when I don't even know who they're working for, 'cause I'd bet dollars to pesos it's not the JSDF. You'll be turning right at the next light." Did he really keep glancing in the rear view mirror? Who was he looking for? The Sergeant Major did a scan of her own as they wound their way through the streets. No sign of a tail to the rear, but that didn't mean they weren't being followed.

"I see. Well, suffice it to say, we're the good guys—we even have a mutual friend: Miss Chidori?"

"Hmm. Yeah, funny how she's in no position to verify that." She heard the hint of grief and bitterness under his sarcasm. They sat in an uneasy silence as traffic stopped for a red light. Time seemed to drag, while Mao wracked her brain for some idea as to how to convince him. It's not like Kaname would have mentioned herself or any of the others to her college friends. Traffic began to flow again, and the young man in the passenger seat shook himself. "Look, I'm sorry I'm being so paranoid. It's not really my style, but things have been pretty crazy around here lately. Yoshi—that's Chikitaka-san—was starting to get really nervy the last couple weeks, and I didn't believe him that anything was wrong. Then he turns up dead, my other friend loses her marbles in spectacular fashion and I get accused of murder—well, not officially, but still. For all I know, you could be one of the folks he was scared of. Then again, you could be just an ordinary grunt, trying to do an ordinary job, and stuck listening to a whining kid with a persecution complex." He smiled ruefully. "Any ideas how to get around this impasse?"

"Not unless by some chance Chidori happened to mention a friend named Melissa Mao."

"Wait a minute, you're Melissa?" Suddenly, it was as though reality had tilted thirty degrees and he was looking at her as one might view an orchid sprouting in thin air.

"She mentioned me?"

"You're a mercenary! You're an A-S pilot for some secret group that handles lofty causes all over the world." Mao nodded, and Joel stared at the dash. "Holy shit, I thought she was making it up. Go straight at this next light and then follow it around to the left." She did as he directed while Joel carefully replayed his last conversation with Chikitaka and Chidori in his head. Greetings, ordering, joke about the guy standing on the tire in a thunderstorm, whispers, worries, the letter from Vrees, the weird quote, and finally, the worst case scenario: "So Joel, if we are both eaten by mountain lions, the money goes to my next of kin, Yoshi's house is for poor college kids in love, and Saya, well I don't know how you'd ever find them, but give Saya to one of these three people..." Bingo. "I have a solution to our impasse. I'll trust you, if you can tell me who or what Urzu-6 is."

Mao was surprised, to say the least, but she had to admit, it was something that only someone who was involved in MITHRIL or at least one of Kaname's friends was likely to know. "It's a guy named Weber. Sgt. Kurz Weber."

Joel let out a long sigh. "Thank God. Pull into that underground parking lot there." He pulled out his cell phone and selected a pre-dialed number. Ignoring the curious look of the driver, he waited for the familiar beeps. "Saya, authorization Vermeer-I-don't-speak-Japanese. Power up for routine maintenance."

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She watched the sun rise over the ocean. It had been a lovely weekend getaway. They'd had such a wonderful time. Dinner last night had been as romantic as she could have hoped, and neither one of them had mentioned K2.0 the whole time. Yoshi was still sleeping. She'd traced the strong line of his jaw and brushed the soft, black bangs from his face, but stopped herself from waking him. The sea and memories called her.

Was a certain sergeant waking up beneath those waves? Did he still sleep beneath the bunk? Did he ever dream of her, as she still dreamed of him? She looked back at Yoshi. Was she cruel to even try to love someone else? The young scientist deserved better than half a heart. And he was all she could have hoped for. Yoshi was kind and thoughtful, tremendously intelligent, dedicated to his work, but usually not obsessively so. He spent a lot of time in the lab, but he always made time for her. He paid attention to her feelings. He never tried to change her, and he wasn't intimidated by her formidable personality. She couldn't bully him. They had a lot of fun together, and she knew he would bend heaven and earth to make her happy... so why couldn't she love him as much as he loved her? Outside, a seagull cried.

Why didn't you come back? Why didn't you fight? The path of memories and recriminations was familiar. How could someone who willingly risked his life at the orders of people whose causes were seldom explained to him fail to fight for something that meant a great deal to him? He'd related almost everything else in life to war, how could he have missed the parallels in love? Not that she'd done any better. She sighed. Perhaps, in the end, she simply hadn't been as important to him as he to her. But who the hell was he to decide that sort of thing without her permission! If she decided he was the lodgepole of her life, then he damn well should have noticed and responded in kind, not just backed down at the first obstacle (well, okay, there had been six months of obstacles and it was the last one—her challenge—that finally ended it, but that wasn't the point!). She had spent so much of her valuable time training him to fit in, including him in her world, letting him into her heart... But now it's over, so why can't you just get the hell out of my memories too?

She pushed aside the vague uneasy feelings that ran around in her head, and focused on the waves outside. Spending so much time listening to the Whispers lately had definitely weakened her hold on her emotions, but she wasn't about to give in now. She would move on, dammit! Her life was good. Her friends were great, and Yoshi... would never be Sousuke. But maybe that was a good thing?

"Thinking about him again?" Kaname startled; she hadn't heard him get up. She turned to answer, but Yoshi stepped up behind her, and wrapping his arms around her, joined her viewing of the waves.

"Yoshi-chan, I--"

"Shhh. In every experiment, you have to collect all the data before attempting a final analysis. There are things you still don't know, or you wouldn't be here. There are things I don't know, or we might be more than friends."

"We are more than friends. I just don't know what. Am I using you? Are you using me? Am I more to you than a goose that lays golden eggs? Are you more to me than a substitute for a moron I can't seem to get out of my head?" She leaned into his embrace. "You deserve better than to play second fiddle to a memory. And if I can't get over a guy from high school, who has probably long since moved on, that's my problem."

"So we have a lot of data to track down." There was a smile in his voice. "I'm not an emotional masochist, Kaname. If you told me right now that you felt nothing for me, I would let you go. But at the moment, I don't think it's that black and white. I am using you. You are the gatekeeper to the discoveries that set my mind on fire. You're the negligee on the mistress of science." He tickled her sides and they both laughed for a moment before he continued. "The technology we're creating together will change the world as we know it, and that knowledge is addictive." He kissed her hair. "So maybe I'm the guilty one. You deserve better than a man who loves even those parts of you that aren't you, who asks you to risk your sanity over and over for the sake of his addiction... It might be in the long run that you'd even be safer if I ended it today."

There was a silence. They both knew what he was talking about. Even Yoshi's love of pure science hadn't been able to overlook the military potential of what they were creating. Kaname had seen it almost instantly, and had had to fight with herself as her mind wandered down avenues that could only have been learned from one person. Still, it wasn't paranoia if they really might be out to get you. She had seen the letter from Vrees on Yoshi's work bench.

He turned her to face him, and smiled. "But look at it this way. Until I finish the project, you won't know beyond a doubt if it was only your secret self that attracted me. And until you use it to reach him and have that conversation, I won't know if you might really love me."

"So the data collection continues." She smiled.

"It does."

"And security measures?"

"I'm taking your advice. If the key to you and me is in this thing, I'm not about to let some government agency steal it."

...eliminationofprimarytargetcomplete.fieldstrengthreturningtonormal.secondarytargetlifesignsfading...

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I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm a killer, and I'm probably going to die, but I'm not crazy. Kaname's thoughts as she and Kyoko began walking around the park were repetitive, but at least the curious whisper-voice was quiet for the moment. She had to keep it at bay, though, so she concentrated on the ordinary, every-day sights around her. I'll think about that night later. I'll think about that night when I'm up to it. Maybe I'll forget about that night entirely... at least for now. For now, it's a beautiful day and the breeze feels nice, and my friend and I are having a nice walk. She looked at Kyoko, feeling suddenly guilty for worrying her.

"It's a pretty day, huh?"

Kyoko looked searchingly at her for a moment, before her expression took on the overly happy smile of one humoring a small child or dangerous dog. "Yes, Kaname. It's very pretty. Do you feel better being outside?"

"Look, you don't have to do that. I'm not crazy, okay? I'm really sorry I worried you, but I'll be just fine." She smiled. "Out of idle curiosity, how long was I out of it?"

"It's been eight days. Are you really feeling better?? I mean, just a few minutes ago..." she didn't finish her statement, and Kaname felt a surge of embarrassment thinking of how she might have been acting.

"I don't know if I'm completely better, but I know I'm not going to let this thing get the better of me, you know? Especially not when I've got such good friends to help me." She gave Kyoko's hand a squeeze and her friend smiled.

"Oh, I'm so glad! I was so worried about you! We all were. Joel and I kept coming over to show you pictures and you just sat there and mumbled all this crazy stuff and the police asked us a couple of times if you had said anything about that night and how Yoshi--" Kyoko stopped, her hand flying to her mouth. Yoshi! For a moment, images of his head flying back and blue arms wrapped around him and a face burning to ash filled Kaname's mind. Colors swirled and faint whispers murmured at the edge of her consciousness, but she shoved them away. "Oh, Kaname, I'm sorry!" There were tears at the edges of Kyoko's eyes as they both paused by a bench and Kaname gripped it's cold metal in an effort to stabilize herself. I AM NOT CRAZY!

"How is Yoshi?" WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?! HE'S DEAD AND YOU KILLED HIM!!

Kyoko stared at her. "He's gone, Kaname. He didn't make it."

"No, he wouldn't leave me..." UNLESS YOU KILLED HIM! You are NOT crazy, so quit trying to hide behind it. "I'm sorry. Maybe we should talk about something else."

"Yes, maybe that would be better. Um... did you hear that Shinji's getting married?" They started walking again, talking of inconsequential things. The light, familiar cadence of small talk and gossip was like a refuge in a storm. By the time they'd circled back to the clinic, Kyoko was gossiping as though nothing had ever been wrong, but Kaname was starting to feel the strain of ignoring the whispers and keeping her thoughts focused on the discussion. Give up. Give in. Let me have control again. You know you're not ready to deal with the truth...Killer.

"No."

"What?" Kyoko paused in her story about the guy in her economics class, noticing that Kaname once again wore that horrible vague expression. They had reached the clinic doors. "I'm sure you won't have to stay much longer. I mean, you really seemed fine on our walk." She tried to sound encouraging.

Kaname shook herself, forced a smile and shoved her darker thoughts as far back as they would go. "Thanks. Maybe tomorrow I'll go home. If I do, would you like to get together and go shopping? I feel like I could really use a new outfit," she ran a hand through the uneven hair where parts had been shaved to accommodate stitches , "and maybe a trim."

"I'd love to. Just call me when you get home!"

"Say, do you have a couple bobby pins I could borrow? This hair is driving me crazy--bad choice of words."

Kyoko fished around in her purse for a couple moments before coming up with a few of the pins. She helped Kaname secure her hair artfully enough that it looked almost normal, then held up a compact mirror for her inspection. "Could be better, but it could be worse." They both smiled and returned to the nurses station. Kyoko signed the chart and the nurse scanned Kaname's wrist tag, readmitting her in the log. Then the two friends hugged, and Kaname was lead back to her room. She made it as far as the window seat before the whispers overwhelmed her and reality was swept away in a haze of numbers and terrifying ideas. Offensive potential of the Psi field includes reconnaissance, weapons placement, battlefield sensor obstruction, special ops maneuvering...