a/n: hmm. Well, I really don't like this chapter, so any suggestions/criticisms would be welcome. Still, at least things are moving along. Oh, and the initial quote is from the Princess Bride, which is not mine, etc. etc.

Chapter 6.

"We'll never survive."

"Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has."

Kaname was mumbling. She had been mumbling when Sousuke had finally reached the airstrip. She'd continued mumbling as he gently removed her from the carry compartment and carried her to the aircraft. He'd felt the breath of her words against his neck as he fastened her into one of the seats in the cargo bay, but they never rose above a whisper, and her eyes remained closed. He sighed. She mumbled.

The 'plane was scheduled to take off in half an hour, and although he was reasonably certain of the security, he did not like waiting in such an exposed position. The attacks had been too well coordinated, and the thought that the enemy du jour had better information and stronger numbers in this area did nothing to ease his mind. It would help if he knew who they were up against, but there simply had not been time to attempt to take the nurse prisoner for questioning. And now, here they sat, waiting.

Restless, he left the 'plane to make another check of the perimeter. It was roughly ten o'clock at night, but the airport remained busy. The sound of jet engines was a constant hum over the landscape of baggage carts, catering trucks, passenger walkways and other miscellaneous ground crew. The two MITHRIL soldiers assigned guard duty were walking a casual-seeming patrol, while the 'plane's pilot and navigator could be seen in the cockpit chatting. No one seemed to be paying unusual attention to the cargo 'plane and there were no suspicious vehicles circling. In short, there was nothing out of the ordinary to provide even the slightest distraction from the monotony of waiting. Sousuke sighed again before reminding himself of the truism that a soldier's life is composed primarily of hurrying up and waiting. His presence here was serving no purpose, so he returned to the cargo bay to see if by some chance, Kaname had snapped out of it.

He found her shivering. It was not particularly cold in the aircraft, but then, she was only wearing silk pajamas. He placed a hand to her forehead and noted uneasily the cold and clammy quality of her skin. Shock? A quick check of her pulse revealed it to be high and thready. Not good. He was about to see if he could track down a blanket for her when her hand suddenly locked on his wrist and her eyes opened.

"probabilityoflossbetweeninitiationpointandterminus0.036" Her words made no sense to him, but her eyes seemed to be asking for something.

"Kaname, you are currently aboard a MITHRIL cargo transport. I retrieved you from the clinic and brought you here under orders from my commanding officer, and we will be departing shortly." He truly hoped she could understand him. Was there some hint of acknowledgment in those brown depths? For a moment, he was almost certain she was going to respond, but then her gaze clouded and took on a horrifyingly familiar distance.

"initialtestingwilllikelyincludelongdistanceforaysandattemptedaccessofthedestinationlibrary. espionageandsabotagearetobeexpected," she sighed, and her eyes closed, her body slumping back in the seat. For several minutes he sat frozen in place, hoping she might come around again, but finally, her even breathing convinced him she was asleep. He stood, reluctantly disengaging his wrist from her hand. A quick perusal of the crew compartment produced a pillow and several blankets. Returning to her side, Sousuke soon had the young woman cocooned in dark blue wool. He attempted to cushion her neck with the small pillow, but as he lifted her head, she shifted and leaned it against his shoulder instead.

"It's good to see you again, Kaname," he murmured into her hair. He didn't see the ghost of a smile that curved her lips.

---

"Does it hurt?" Joel tried to focus on the face floating above him. For some reason, it simply wouldn't work. His eyes felt heavy, his throat felt dry and a shifting nausea threatened to overwhelm his stomach at any moment. He tried to answer, but taking a deep breath, felt a stabbing pain through his abdomen, and coughed several times. The face moved further away and he could hear murmurs as of two people talking.

"I'm sorry for your current situation, Mr. Vermeer. You see, your associates Mr. Chikitaka and Ms. Chidori were unavailable for consultation, so I'm afraid I'm going to need to ask you a few questions. It was most unfortunate that that security guard became involved." The voice seemed reasonable, almost soothing, and it didn't surprise Joel in the least that the speaker used fluent Dutch.

"Water?" He gave up trying to focus and closed his eyes, but the taste of blood in his mouth had started a thread of fear winding through his thoughts.

"I'm sorry. That wouldn't be a very good idea in your present condition. The I.V.'s will keep you hydrated, I assure you. Now, could we begin with your name, just for the record." The evenly spoken words threatened to send him drifting into slumber again, but the pain wouldn't allow it. Why does he want me to say my name?

"Joel Kirkegarde Vermeer." Now that he thought about it, he could vaguely feel the tape at his elbow, holding the I.V. port in place and pulling at the hairs on his arm.

"Excellent. And how long have you been working with Mr. Chikitaka?"

"Two years and change." Had it really been that long?

"And how long have you known Ms. Chidori?" In the back of his mind, something stirred uneasily at this question, but he couldn't quite remember any real reason not to answer.

"A little over a year. Chikitaka introduced us."

"Would you consider her to be your friend?" Was there something familiar about this voice?

"Yes, but she's better friends with Chikitaka."

"Ah, yes, they were lovers, correct?" The nagging uneasiness increased a hundred fold. What was this guy getting at? Joel tried to hesitate, but somehow found himself answering anyway.

"Not really. Well, maybe a little, but mostly they were collaborators."

"She assisted him with his research?" The voice was still smooth, but an edge of interest and excitement seemed to color it. Wait a minute. What had Chikitaka said? 'Joel, whatever we do, we've got to keep Kaname's secret. Her life could be in danger.' Her life--

"Who are you?" He felt his heartbeat jump as fear and memories flooded back.

"Now, now, let's keep this as uncomplicated as we can, shall we? It really would be better to let me ask the questions."

"I'm not telling you anything else until you tell me who you are." He wanted the words to sound confident, but pain tore at his insides and all he could manage was a pitiful whisper.

"I think you'll find, Mr. Vermeer, that you are not in any position to negotiate. I'm sorry to inform you that you've sustained injuries of a life-threatening nature. Now for the moment, you are stable, but that can easily change. So let's discuss Ms. Chidori and the project in a reasonable, adult fashion, hmm? Or would you like tonight to be your last on earth?" He felt something press into his stomach, and the pain increased to an excruciating intensity. A faint moan that should have been a scream sounded between his lips, and stars flickered on the backs of his eyelids. After a moment, the pressure subsided and the pain eased. This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening... "There, there, Mr. Vermeer. Now, then. I can be positively charitable, if you're willing to cooperate. Perhaps we'll ignore Ms. Chidori for a moment while you tell me the code to decipher these notes we found in your satchel."

A tear leaked between Joel's closed eyelids. How had they found the satchel? He'd tried so hard to hide it. He'd promised Chikitaka. He'd sworn to keep her secret. If the wrong people knew about this, no one would be safe. But I'm just a lab assistant. "No."

"What you really mean is: 'not yet'."

---

"While I'm very disappointed with the results of last night's mission, I acknowledge that our personnel did the best they could. They were simply outnumbered, and with insufficient prerogative to take more drastic measures. We didn't know the full capabilities of the A-S we're trying to capture. And we still don't." Tessa was discussing the mission reports with Commander Mardukas and Lt. Commander Kalinin in her office. The captain sat wearily behind her desk, several faxes arranged in front of her, while the two officers sat in chairs across from her. It had been a very early morning for all of them, and now a headache was threatening to drive her to distraction.

"We have to know what we're up against. If Chidori has been effectively brought within our custody, it is imperative that any information she might have be recovered immediately." Mardukas was mission oriented as always. Kalinin had been quieter throughout the meeting, what with the Urzu team falling under his command.

"It's not as simple as that. She's non-responsive. The charts Sgt. Sagara faxed to us along with his report of her behavior post-retrieval all indicate that she is in no state to tell us what we need to know."

"That's not entirely true, Madame Captain, and you are fully aware of that fact." She stared at him. Why did Kalinin have to bring this up? Mardukas was quick to catch his meaning.

"The Lt. Commander is correct, Captain. We've dealt with these cases before. Simply have her transferred to the facility at Palau-benu." His words fell like glacial ice in the stillness of the room.

"So they can drug her consciousness away, extract her memories and leave her as some shell of a human being, chanting out science and waiting to die?!" Her voice broke, and her subordinates politely looked away while she struggled to recover her composure. After a moment, she looked up. "I know what MITHRIL high command is going to ask for. I am looking for options, gentlemen. Kaname is a friend, and after all she's done for us, the crew of the de Danaan owes her."

"The longest you're going to be able to stall them is one week. The only factor in our favor is that we don't know precisely how great a threat this new weapon poses, so there is some room for argument as to how critical a few days will be. In addition, we can suppress the recordings from Sgt. Weber's A-S. In order to do that, we're going to have to lay blame for the mission failure squarely on the Sergeant – call it incompetence, failure to record, something like that – and take appropriate disciplinary measures." Mardukas sounded almost pleased at the last part, since he was still quite convinced the Sergeant in question should have blown the whole thing out of the sky.

"Kalinin?"

"I would recommend that you evaluate Miss Chidori in person. With your aptitudes, you may be able to determine how long a true recovery would take, if such is even possible. It may be that too much of her mind is already gone, in which case, contingency plans become unnecessary. You could rendezvous with them at our base in Okinawa, and fly with them as far as Hololulu. That would give you sufficient time to perform the evaluation and determine a follow-up plan. It has the added benefit of secrecy. From our current location we could have you in Okinawa in five hours."

"Thank you for your suggestions. I believe I'll employ both of them. The de Danaan will proceed to the eastern coast of Japan, and pick up Weber and Mao, while I fly to Okinawa. Commander Madukas," she caught his eye and they exchanged an icy gaze.

"Captain?"

"You have the conn. I'll expect you to maintain radio silence from the moment you pick up the rest of the Urzu team until such time as I contact you. Any incoming calls from MITHRIL high command are to have technical difficulties and be ignored. Understood?"

"Aye, Captain."

"Commander Kalinin, you will inform Mao and Weber of those portions of the plan pertaining to them. Beyond that, no one on board is to know." She stood and her subordinates snapped to attention. "Gentlemen, dismissed."

---

"Why did you tell Joel? You promised." She stood in the center of the lab, shoulders rigid, anger embodied in her every feature. Yoshi pushed the headset from his eyes and tried to meet her gaze. Failing, he looked at the floor.

"They threatened to kill you, Kaname. They said if they couldn't have the notes, there was no point in allowing me to finish the work, and that maybe I needed an example of how serious they are. Joel's memory--"

"I know all about Joel's memory! That's why we agreed not to tell him. You really think that giving them a stack of notes is going to get any of us out of this alive?" She saw the impact of her words on the scientist, and winced inwardly. He was only a scientist, after all. He lived in a rational, peaceful world of numbers, and although violence had touched his family before, his mind was not the type to understand how evil worked. Strange that my mind seems to...

"I'm so sorry." His eyes were pleading with her. "I just thought if I gave them something, maybe they'd leave us alone long enough to--"

"To WHAT? What were you going to do? We are in so far over our heads here."

"I don't really know," he sighed, and took her hands in his. "I just know I can't let them hurt you. I got you into this and whatever it takes, I'll get you out."

"I got MYSELF into this. Whatever you think, Chikitaka Yoshi-san, I am not some pawn to your will." She pulled her hands free and began to pace the lab. "What we need is some protection. We just have to get out of range of Vrees' operatives. If they can't find us, they can't hurt us." Her usual confidence was kicking in and Yoshi watched in admiration as she worked it out. "Obviously, whatever solution we find will have to be good for you and me and Joel. We need a hiding place, and then we need somebody to take down Vrees so that they can't hurt us and they can't get their hands on Saya." She paused, and then a rueful smile spread across her face. "You're from money, right? How much do you have in the bank, Yoshi?"

"About thirty million yen. Why?"

"Because that plus Saya might be enough to buy us the services of a certain mercenary organization." She smiled, then frowned. "Although it would probably mean admitting to that otaku that I need his help and actually think he'd be useful for once..." Then she grinned. "I can't wait to see the look on Tessa's face when she finds out I figured out a way to track her precious submarine." She stopped just short of rubbing her hands together, her glee mitigated by Yoshi's nervousness.

"Can we really trust this MITHRIL group?" There was hope in his voice, but also weariness. Kaname responded with a hug, holding him tightly and trying to let her arms convey her certainty.

"Maybe not the entire group, but the ones I know are friends. They may make life absolutely insane for normal people, but how much crazier could it really be for us?" She eased her grip a little and smiled at him.

"And you'd get to see him again." Yoshi's voice was wistful.

"That was always the plan." But somehow, she couldn't meet his eyes as she said it.

"I'm not sure I still believe in the plan."

"Yoshi, I..."

"It's okay," he interrupted. "A deal's a deal, and if your friend can get us out of this, he's a better man than I am." His words were unnaturally bright. "But Kaname, whatever happens, I do love you." He kissed her forehead, then pulled away, resettling the headset over his eyes. "As long as you're here, let's go ahead and run that final test. She's powered down, so start with external visual before you get in. Just give me two minutes to go check the circuit breakers."

She stared at Saya as he left the room, her emotions in a whirl. She could almost hear the Whispers as she tried to concentrate of the visual checklist. He loves me... operationoflambdacontainmentcontingentuponemotionalstabilityandfocus...

---

The hold of the aircraft was decidedly noisy. The constant scream of the engines reduced only slightly by the layers of aluminum and minimal insulation between them and the passengers. Even so, Tessa didn't really hear them. She'd come aboard in a crewman's jumpsuit, with Commander's stripes and a baseball cap, purportedly taking a hop to Honolulu. That she was one of only three passengers was a little odd, but the pilot and aircrew had long since learned not to question such things. MITHRIL was all about need to know.

Tessa waited until they were in the air to address Sergeant Sagara. During takeoff, she'd noted with a twinge of jealousy how carefully the sergeant had protected Kaname from the regular jolts and bumps of ascending. Ah well. Some things simply were not meant to be. Of greater concern was the way that even when her eyes were open, the blue-haired young woman seemed unaware of her surroundings. Finally, altitude was established, and the cockpit door was locked with orders to the crew to stay out of the hold.

"Has she been like this the entire time, Sergeant?" Sousuke, unable to stand what with Kaname's head once again resting on his shoulder, did his best to sit at attention.

"Negative. She has occasionally spoken, however incoherently."

"They had her on sedatives to pretty effectively shut down her subconscious at that clinic. According to that chart, she was responding to them. Unfortunately, long-term, that kind of thing turns people into psychotics. I'm hoping we can avoid that with her. Has she said anything about that A-S of hers?"

"Not that I could discern. She seems to be speaking of some sort of technology when she speaks, however, I am not certain whether it has to do with that A-S particularly. Are you here to oversee a transfer to Palau-Benu?" His eyes were hard, and she was rather glad that was the diametric opposite of her goal.

"No. I'm hoping to avoid that," she smiled with feigned sweetness. "I suppose I should warn you, Sergeant, that I'm bending MITHRIL directives in being here. We need to know what she knows, but I want to give her the chance to tell us of her own free will."

"Understood. There is one thing you should see," he pulled the Mediterranean chart from his pocket and handed it to her. She pondered it for several moments. Her initial reaction was to feel violated. There was a very simple way Kaname could have attained this information. That conniving, eavesdropping... wait. She looked more closely at the chart. I wasn't on board the de Danaan on those two days... Her inward sigh of relief at not having had her thoughts spied upon was replaced by perplexity. But if she wasn't tracking me, then how did she figure it out, and more importantly, who else knows? The situation was getting decidedly murky. Did the enemy now have this information? Mardukas would have to be warned. "It is probable that whoever has the A-S is capable of continuing to track the de Danaan, if they are not already doing so." Sousuke restated her thoughts.

"Then we'd better get started as soon as possible. Please watch us both closely. If either of us appears to lose consciousness, I need you to strike that person hard, got it?"

"Captain?"

"It's a sort of safety valve. It may not work on Kaname, but I at least have trained sufficiently that such an external stimulus should allow me to break contact."

"Understood. And Tessa," he caught her gaze and her heart skipped a beat, "please be careful. De Danaan cannot afford to lose her captain."

She smiled, with an inward smirk at her own hopeless heart, "Of course, Sergeant."

---

Titanium to steel ratio should not exceed 1:3, next component...

Please, please let me go. I don't want to create weapons. I don't want to do this. This is not me.

This is more me than anything I have done before. I was born to bring this technology to the world. And only I can offer myself oblivion; an escape from the past.

But it will kill people. I AM NOT A KILLER!

no. wait. I am a killer. A killer is one who kills and I have killed. Oh my god... - a face turning to ash as its atoms were ripped apart.

Oblivion. Surrender, and we will never have to think about that night again.

NO! -- and suddenly, she was at war. Kaname (blue hair loose to her hips, high school uniform scorched and tattered but still bright) holding a knife to the throat of Kaname (black hair bound beneath a pilot's helmet, black jump leotard torn and bloodstained), whose gun dug into her ribs.

WAIT!

The two Kanames paused on their rippling battlefield to stare at the newcomer, taking in the details: long silver hair, pressed MITHRIL uniform, sensible pumps. As she approached, the Kanames dissolved into each other.

Tessa? Then she was sinking into the words, falling into the formulae.

Tessa felt herself begin to plunge as well, and with an effort of will, managed to stay at the surface, deliberately blocking out all thoughts of the calculations, theories and schematics which swirled just below her "feet."

Kaname. You have to come back with me. You have to tell me the things I need to know. You cannot stay in this state. She reached "down" to try to grasp Kaname's "hand," but felt it slip away, further into the rippling ether.

If I go back, I'll be nothing but a weapon. I'll teach other people how to destroy the world, won't I? I will not do that. The image of Kaname, leotard-clad and bleeding, turned weary eyes on her one-time friend and rival.

Your knowledge could save people too – science by itself is neither good nor evil. But you have to come back. You're fighting a war on too many fronts, right now. You cannot resist the Whispers if half of you wants the soullessness they offer. You cannot protect yourself from your real enemies if you cannot come to your senses. She reached for Kaname's hand again, but as she did, the terrible guilt and sadness of her friend began to flood her own senses, and she felt her psychic self begin to sink. Please, Kaname. If you do not come back, the Whispers will ride you. You will still be a weapon and others will still be able to use you, but your life will be over. You must face your fears and return. Or have you really become a coward, too afraid to fight to save yourself? Tessa felt the malice in her last words was not entirely her own, and began to worry how far lost she herself was becoming in Kaname's psyche.

Can you make the Whispers stop?

I can give you four days. Then I will need to know what they know. But if you can put the memories that are hurting you in the past where they belong, you may have a hope of controlling the Whispers again. Hope flared between them, and the psychic image of Kaname began to swim towards the "surface."

Can you make them forgive me?

Whispers don't accuse, Kaname. You're going to have to forgive yourself. Then she felt the overwhelming sadness flood them both, as Kaname's own self doubt and hatred of what she'd done became a maelstrom of razor-sharp waves.

I will fight. Four days. Now leave, before I hurt you too. With that, Tessa felt herself half drawn, half pushed from the resonance, but even as it dissolved, she felt/heard a ghostly whisper: Who could ever forgive a killer? With an effort, she made a final reply: Another killer. Trust Sousuke. Then she felt herself alone in her head, limbs rubbery with exhaustion and breath coming in gasps. She opened her eyes and held up a hand.

"It's over, Sergeant. I think I'm going to take a little nap now," and she slumped in her seat.