To Be Needed

Part 16

Ashby woke up in Mia's bed. Mia was having a hard time sleeping the night before so Ashby stayed in her room. Ashby stretched and saw Mia was already awake. Mia was sitting on a rocking chair in the corner of the room with Maria in her arms.

"Mi, you okay?" Ashby asked softly.

Mia nodded. "Yeah," she replied.

"Good. I'm gonna go take a shower real quick then get breakfast started." Ashby said as she started to climb out of bed.

"Ash, wait. Can I ask you something?"

Ashby blinked in surprise that Mia felt she had to ask. "Of course, anything."

Mia paused for a moment before speaking.

"Why do you keep pushing Vince away? I know you're in love with him."

Ashby looked down at her knees on the bed. "Because I'm not good enough for him." Ashby said quietly. She closed her eyes at Mia's cry of exasperation.

"Ash, what the hell are you talking about? Of course you're good enough. Why do you think you're not?"

"Because after being with David I'm not worth anything. No one wants someone who lets themselves be someone else's punching bag." Ashby explained.

Mia gasped. She never knew David used to abuse Ashby. After high school Ashby and Mia lost touch for a while. Mia knew now it was probably due to Ashby's making even though every once in a while Mia would call to her to see how she was doing.

"Ash, what happened between you and David? What was that hearing all about?"

Ashby kept her eyes closed. She didn't want to see the look of pity on Mia's face when Mia learned the truth.

"He started hitting in the middle of senior year. I was so surprised I couldn't say anything. At the time I thought I loved him and that he loved me. He said he just had trouble controlling his anger sometimes. It didn't happen often. I should have known better than to make him mad. So I always did what he said, when he said. He got a four-year basketball scholarship to Stanford University. We were both happy. He planned to go in the fall and find a place for both of us to live and I would move there as soon as he did. We've never slept together up until that point. I wanted to wait until we were married, but he kept saying if I loved him I would do it. He kept saying we were going to get married anyway so it didn't matter. Right before he left in the fall I finally agreed because he kept being mean about it. I didn't want to make him angry. After he was gone for a month I found out I was pregnant. I panicked. I was so scared. I didn't know what I was gonna do. I didn't want to tell him because I knew he would get angry, but I knew I had to tell him. I waited until he came to visit a couple of weeks later. After I told him he calmly asked when I was going to have an abortion."

Ashby paused as she remembered what happened after that. To this day she will never forget what happened.

Mia walked over, still carrying Maria in her arms, and sat next to Ashby. Mia reached over and laid a hand over Ashby's.

"When I told him I wasn't going to get an abortion he went crazy. I never thought he could be like that. He went off saying I was tryin to ruin his life and calling me a bitch and how did he know it was even his. I could have been sleeping with other guys while he was gone. Then he said he never loved me anyway. He was just with me because he knew I would do whatever he wanted. He had found another girl at school who was more willing to give it up. I ended up with a broken wrist that night. When he left for school again I never saw him again. Until that day you guys saw him here. He brought a court order for me to bring my child to the hearing. It was a court order DNA test to prove she wasn't his child."

Ashby finished. She was afraid to look at Mia. She knew if she looked up she would see pity in Mia's eyes.

Instead, when Ashby looked up she saw a look of love.

Mia hugged her with the baby. "I'm sorry Ashby you had to go thru that alone. If I had known David was like that I would have sic-ed Vince on him. Why didn't you say something?"

Ashby's eyes filled with tears. "I couldn't. I thought he loved me. How could I tell someone the man I thought I loved was hurting me? I couldn't do that. He knew that and used it against me. Besides who was I gonna tell? My uncle was already deathly ill by then. I didn't want to drag you into my problems. You had the 'team' and I didn't know them all that well. He left so I figured it was all in the past anyway." Ashby said.

Mia pulled back as she frowned at Ashby. "But I still don't understand why you think you're not good enough for Vince." She stated.

Ashby looked away, ashamed. "He won't want me after he knows the whole truth. How could he? Who would want me after knowing what kind of man David was? No, Mi. He won't want me. I can't bare the thought that he'll be disgusted when he knows the truth. I can't tell him and I can't be with him. I love him too much. If he ever left me it would be too much for me too handle. I just can't. I don't want him to be ashamed of me. I wouldn't be able to stand it." Ashby said and then began to cry.

Mia hugged her again, mindful of the baby. "Shush, Ash. It'll be okay." Mia said softly as she rubbed her back gently.

Maria heard Ashby crying and began to cry as well. Ashby pushed herself out of Mia's grasp. "I'm sorry. I'll go." She said and ran out of Mia's room.

Mia tried to stop her, but Ashby wasn't listening.

Ashby ran to her old room, but she saw Vince asleep in her bed. She quickly backed out. She couldn't face right now. She ran downstairs and found her car keys on the coffee table. She ran out to her car and started it quickly. Before driving off Ashby saw Mia in the doorway, holding Maria. She was shouting something, but Ashby couldn't hear it, and then she was gone.

Mia turned and looked at Vince who had come to stand behind her.

"What happened?" he asked confused. He heard Mia yelling and ran down to see what was going on.

Mia looked sad. "We need to talk, V, Come on." Mia said as she pushed him towards the kitchen.

Ashby sat on the beach, staring at the waves crashing against the shore. It was the same place Vince had took her on their 'date.' Ashby closed her eyes and let the sound of the ocean wash over her. She pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest.

I should have left sooner. Shouldn't have stayed so long. I only made things worse. Ashby thought to herself as tears slipped past her closed eyelids.

Ashby sat for a while. She didn't want to go back to her own house. It didn't feel like home anymore. The only place that felt like home was at the Toretto's. Ashby couldn't go back there. She couldn't face Mia or the others. She knew Mia would tell the others. Mia would want the others to help her. Ashby didn't want them to pity her.

"Ash!"

Ashby lifted her head when she heard someone call out her name. She looked behind her and saw Vince running towards her from the parking lot.

Ashby panicked. No! He can't see me! I can't look at him! No! I have to get away! Run! Hurry, get up and run! Ashby's mind screamed.

She stood quickly and took off running down the beach as fast as she could.

"Ash! Wait! Stop!"

She heard him, but started running faster. Don't look. Just keep going.

Vince was taller than Ashby and could run faster. He caught up with her quickly. He grabbed a hold of her arm and forced her to stop running. "Ash, stop! Why are you running?" He demanded as he held her still.

Ashby struggled against him, trying to get away.

Vince wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground.

"Let me go!" She yelled, kicking her legs out.

Vince lost his balance and fell back on to the sand, still holding on to Ashby. Ashby kept struggling.

"Ash, stop!" He growled at her.

"No! Let me go! V just let me go. Please just let me go." Ashby cried out. Suddenly she stopped struggling. She curled into a ball on the sand and started crying.

Vince wrapped his body around her. "Baby, don't cry. It's okay. Mia told me everything. It's okay." He told her in a soothing tone.

Ashby continued to cry. He knew everything now. He would feel sorry for her and treat her different. She tried to pull away from him, but Vince wouldn't let her.

Ashby turned and sat up Indian style. Vince copied her, but still wouldn't lose his hold of her wrist. They sat facing each other. He hated seeing her tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes.

"Let me go. I'm not worth it. I'll never be good enough for you. I wouldn't be able to stand it if you looked at me the way Dom looked at Letty. I can't handle seeing the rest of the team look at me in that way either. Please just let me go." She begged him.

"I can't." He said in a tortured voice.

How could he let her go? He couldn't live without her, not now. He didn't want life to go back to how it was before she was there.

Tears filled Ashby's eyes once more. "You have to. I can't stay. I'm not apart of the team. I never was and I never will be. You all don't need me anymore. I'm not very much good anyway. I don't know anything about cars or racing. You're not losing anything important." She said, trying to make him see she had to leave.

Vince scowled. "The team needs you." He said as if that should be enough.

Ashby tried to push herself further back, but he wouldn't let go of her wrist.

"You all were a team before me. That won't change when I'm gone." She said arguing his point.

"Well Maria needs you. Who will baby-sit her now?" Vince threw at her next.

Ashby rolled her eyes. "Maria has a mother. Mia, remember. Mia can handle it on her own. She has the team."

Vince looked at her in panic. He couldn't let her go. Who would stay up late and talk to Dom? Who was Jesse gonna show his designs to now?

How am I gonna sleep if I can't sleep next to her? She can't leave. We need her.

"You can't leave us." He stated firmly.

Ashby looked at him defiantly. "Oh yeah? Give me one good reason why I can't?" she demanded.

Vince reached for her and pulled her into his lap. "Because I need you." He said, before crushing her lips with his own.

Ashby froze. What did he…

She stopped thinking and wrapped her arms around Vince's neck, deepening the kiss. She wanted to be with him so much. She couldn't deny him anymore. Even if she ended up hurt, it would be worth it just to know what being with him was like.

They broke apart as they panted for air. Vince looked at her, searching for something. Ashby didn't know what for, but then she understood.

"I need you too." She told him softly.

Vince smiled. He leaned in and crushed her lips once more.

"Do you think anybody will mind if I move back in?" Ashby asked when they broke apart again.

Vince laughed. "Baby, I don't think you need to worry about that."