If I wasn't such a man I'd skip home.
Despite the fact that I had a ton of worries on my plate I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. I looked all around me and noticed all the things that are truly beautiful in the world and that I take for granted on an everyday basis. I took a deep breath of fresh air and thanked God for everything he had given me in the last 24 hours.
I couldn't ask for anything more than I had right now.
Quickly, I ran up to the front porch and quietly closed the door behind me. I looked around the kitchen hoping upon hope that my parents weren't home. I didn't need any unwanted questions as to why I was showering for the second time today.
Standing still, I let my body relax and focused on the sounds around the house. A pipe was dripping, the curtains in one of the rooms was swishing against the windowsill, and the sound of a clock ticking was all that I could hear. Noone was home.
I superspeeded up the stairs and gathered a fresh change of clothes. Quickly jumping into the shower I tried to wash up as fast as I could. I was scrubbing my arms when I started to get a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I stopped scrubbing and placed a hand on my lower belly.
What the heck? Were those…..butterflies? Why am I feeling so nervous?
I shook my head as if to clear it and resumed bathing but the feeling refused to go away. As I started to wash my hair, I closed my eyes and let the water run over the contours of my face. I braced my hands against the tile wall in front of me and tried my best to calm down. I felt like I wanted to ram my hand into the wall in front of me in frustration, but I couldn't figure out why.
After taking a few deep breathes, the feeling gradually subsided. My thirty second shower had quickly changed into fifteen minutes. It was time for me to finish and get the heck out of here so I could be with Lana. So I could see her smile, watch her eyes light up and smell her hair while I kissed her neck. Watch her chest rise and fall when her breath started to speed up as the air around us magnified……
Whoa! Cut, stop, cease and desist.
My body felt like it was on fire. The tingling in my belly returned only this time it wasn't butterflies, it was pure heat. I groaned out loud and felt a desperate need for Lana overtake me. I grabbed my head with my hands and the images flashing this time were so strong they brought me to my knees. The water streamed down my back and splashed all over but I barely noticed any of it. Image after image ingrained itself into my head……………..Lana's eyes closing, her lush lips surrounding mine, her body undulating as she brought herself as deep as possible onto my hardness…………..My body burned and it was all I could do not to just reach down and finish myself off. But as quickly as the images came they disappeared and all I was left with was a hard-on that wouldn't quit and a sense of unease.
What the hell was going on? What was happening to me? To us?
More questions and still no answers.
I willed myself to calm down and finished off the rest of my shower. I was slightly disgusted with myself for not being able to control myself. I was supposed to be the strongest man in the world and yet I couldn't stop myself from having these dirty thoughts. Pleasurable thoughts, but dirty thoughts nonetheless.
I walked into my room and pulled on my dark blue t-shirt and jeans silently cursing myself and my lack of any type of restraint.
I thought back to my conversation with Lana earlier in the hallway and recalled telling her I felt like a dog in heat……….what if that's what I was? Was I in heat?
That thought brought too many of my insecurities regarding my alien heritage to the surface. No matter what Lana or my parents said, I wasn't human. I was very different from everyone here on Earth and these new, strange situations were very quickly bringing said insecurities to the forefront.
What if I somehow hurt Lana? What if I can't control whatever happens to me next? I'd rather die than hurt her. I'd rather burn in the fiery pits of hell than have an inch of her in pain.
I sat down on the edge of my bed and ran a hand through my hair as a familiar question blazed through my mind.
What if she was better off not being with me?
"No!" I screamed out loud. I brought my fist hard on top of my bedspread. "I will not go back to that! I will not make any more excuses for myself or my actions! I will be the man Lana sees me as!" I declared to the room around me. Slowly, my shoulders slumped. "I don't think I can go on living any other way." I whispered as Lana's smile hovered in the forefront of my conscious mind. I was granted my wish. I got to feel Lana in my arms. I got to hear her say I love you over and over again. I don't think I could ever let that go again.
Feeling slightly foolish for talking to myself, I stood up and straightened my shoulders. Quickly I pushed my feet into my boots and laced them up. I grabbed my keys and rushed out the door.
I had to hurry.
Lana was waiting for me.
I ran up the steps of the front porch of the Sullivan residence, and let myself in. I ran up the steps and started down the hallway to Lana's room. Before I got three steps Lana flew out of the room and hurled herself into my arms.
"What took you so long?" She said loudly. Lana grabbed my face in her hands and started placing small frantic kisses all over it.
Grinning, I pulled her hands off of my face and brought them down.
"I missed you too."
Lana smiled but it quickly disappeared. "Clark, we have to talk."
My heart skipped a beat. "Uh oh. Those words are usually followed by 'It's not you, it's me.' "I said smiling nervously.
Lana didn't smile back. She squeezed my hands tightly. "No Clark. That's not what I was going to say. Come on. Let's go back into my room."
I followed Lana into her room and sat beside her on her bed. Before I knew what hit me Lana was kissing me and it was like I could breath again. The relief flowing through my body was potent.
I brought my hands up to her face and caressed the sides of her cheeks with my thumbs. I breathed through my nose roughly as my body screamed with unspent passion. The kiss turned from tender to animalistic in five seconds flat. Lana's hands were under my t-shirt, brusquely running over my chest. Her breathing was uneven and her body was shaking.
Lana broke the kiss as she pushed against my chest with both hands. "Did you feel that?"
I was breathing as if I had just run a marathon. Only normally I could run for miles without breaking a sweat, yet this 110 pound woman was making me quiver like a newborn kitten. "Feel what?"
"Relief."
I nodded my head. "Oh Yeah."
Lana gave me a perplexed look. "This is getting crazy. Clark, we have to find a way to figure this out. I – I just spent the last half hour trying to make myself feel like I wasn't suffocating."
"Suffocating? That's a pretty strong word. What do you mean suffocating?"
"I mean-I mean, I can't seem to get my body to take in a full breath without you here next to me. Literally." Lana turned worried eyes toward me. "I told you before that nothing regarding your secret will ever scare me again, but I can't help but feel like we are quickly losing all control. I am scared Clark. I'm afraid that if we don't figure things out soon, that fear is going to drive us apart. I want answers Clark and I don't know where to get them!" Lana's voice trembled with emotion.
I shook my head firmly and brought her close to me. "Nothing will drive us apart. I won't let that happen." I sighed and brushed a kiss on her forehead. "Come on, let's get out of here and get some air."
Lana shook her head no, suddenly pressing a hand to her forehead wearily. "Please Clark, just lie down next to me. I just feel so tired all of a sudden. I just want to close my eyes for a little while."
"But Lana I have to talk to you too. Something happened when I went home."
Lana just shook her head. "Please Clark. I'm so tired. Later Okay?"
I nodded suppressing a yawn that came out of nowhere. My body felt so relaxed. Didn't we just take a nap? "Yeah, wow. I know how you feel. All I want to do is sleep too."
Lana brought herself to the pillows lying on the bed and lay her head down. I toed off my boots and slipped myself behind her.
Lana yawned loudly. "Isn't this weird Clark?" She murmured into her pillow. "One minute I'm bouncing around with energy, the next minute I can barely keep my eyes open."
I tried to answer her but I was having trouble focusing on her voice. My eyes were fluttering as I fought to stay coherent enough to answer her.
I lost the battle.
End of Chapter Twenty - Three
