A/N - Warning - SPOILERS for episode 51/after show ending. Please only read if you know what happens, or don't mind knowing. This is RoyxEd and my first try at these two, so please be gentle.
Comfort
Edward Elric made no attempt to soften his thumping footfalls as he made his way down the stairs and into the livingroom. He was angry. No, scratch that, he was pissed! How dare Roy hide information on Lior from him! Ed had thought that he'd actually done some good in that city, yet come to find out, it was at war with itself? And the fact that he'd had to beat the information out of Havoc over the phone just made it all the better.
Havoc knew! Why did Jean Havoc, second Lieutenant, have more information than he did? He outranked that fool! It wasn't fair! Then again, nothing was fair, or else he and his brother wouldn't have been in the mess they were. He knew Roy cared, and the fact was that he knew he couldn't have done anything about the uprising. But, to show he understood where Roy was coming from... nope, wasn't gonna happen.
"Damnit Colonel! Interesting stuff keeps poppin' up when your name comes 'round, like why didn't you..." the young alchemist's voice drifted off as he saw that Mustang was sound asleep on the sofa. Roy hadn't even twitched a muscle at the start of Ed's rather loud query.
An involuntary slow smile curled Ed's lips. Mustang looked so peaceful sitting there, arm propped on the armrest, head leaned back against the cushion. It was the only time the elder Elric had ever seen the usually tense man relax. Sure, he always looked cool, calm and collected, but Ed knew better. It was the wall of preservation. He could see it, and through it, because Ed knew that look. After all, he'd used it too. The fact that Roy could let his guard down around him meant a lot to the young alchemist.
Not that he'd let Roy know, of course. After all, the man was arrogant enough already.
"You jerk," Ed mumbled, quietly making his way over to the couch and sitting down beside the Colonel. All the while he kept his eyes peeled for any reaction that the man was waking, but no, the man was sound asleep. The day must've really worn him out. Even though the hard case Roy had been working on day and night for the past two months had finally come to a violent head, it had also ended in the death of an officer. Mustang always took it hard, whether he knew the person or not.
Ed snuggled up under Mustang's arm, head tilted so that he could watch Roy sleep. He breathed in deeply, the scent that was Roy causing his stomach to tighten in knots. It was a scent not easily forgotten, like the heat of a desert wind. A powerful man's musk, though clean and pure, it grabbed a hold of you and would never let go. It had comforted him during that first surgical night way back when in Risembul, even though he hadn't known it at the time. It had lingered in the black of unconsciousness, lifting both the mental and physical pain, keeping Ed tied down to the world.
Up until finally coming face to face with the then Lieutenant-Colonel, Ed had never been able to pinpoint that exact scent.
"Liking the view?" Roy mumbled, finally opening eyes that held Ed's world within them.
"Was, 'til you screwed it up by wakin'," Ed was surprised he managed a straight face with that one.
"Sorry," it was nothing more than a whisper of dejection.
"What, no snappy comeback?"
The Colonel chuckled, a choked sound that caused Ed to frown with concern. "Guess not, shrimp." It was a sad excuse for a comeback, even Roy knew that, and it made it that much clearer to the older Elric that Mustang was in a bad way.
"Look at me you idiot," and Ed caught Roy's jaw when he tried to turn away, turning it towards him, "Anyone will die when they do stupid things like Sergeant Akers did. You don't run into a fire-fight and expect to live. You just remember that she got the target out without a scratch on 'em. She did her duty, and you're doing yours. Now get that through that dense block of a head of yours and move on. You can't save everyone, remember?"
Roy's eyes glittered with unshed tears as Ed levered himself up on one hand. "Let me help you now, like you did with me," and he leaned in, lips so close that he could already taste the tanginess of Roy, and...
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
Edward groaned, his hand finding the alarm clock switch after three unsuccessful attempts to turn it off. Perhaps it would've helped if he'd taken his face from the pillow, but he didn't want to see the empty room. Not again. It always ended the same way anyway, why did he need confirmation?
Finally levering himself on one forearm, sheets in disarray around his midsection, Ed looked around the room as he'd done each and every time.
Empty, once again.
He sighed, sitting up in bed and feeling the tears flow silently down his cheeks. "Damn," he whispered, eyes still searching every blackened crevice and shadow for Roy. He'd been unable to give Roy the comfort he'd needed that day, and even now, when he tried to make up for it in his dreams, he'd always wake up before that crucial kiss. Maybe Roy wouldn't have gone out and gotten dead drunk, with Havoc being the only thing between him and the grave that night. Roy had come so close to ending it all, and it had been Ed's fault.
One kiss. That's all it would've taken. For Roy to know someone cared. One kiss.
Yet, to give Alphonse back what he, himself, had taken away... that's how it had to be. Never again would he see his brother, Winry, or old lady Pinako and Den. Nor would he be able to finally utter the words that he'd been unable to say in his other life, across the Gate.
"I love you, Roy."
End
