It wouldn't have been so annoying if he weren't dragging it out longer than he should have. Yet he was, and he was well aware of the fact. Riza sighed, tapped her pen impatiently and felt her heart rate quicken. She had been following her mundane task of proofreading documents when her superior, Roy Mustang, decided he needed to ravage her desk drawer for an important document. Of course he'd pick the last drawer, the closest to her legs. Riza had come to the conclusion he'd planned it. Today was the one-day she wore a skirt, and he was getting the best view. Roy paused for a moment, silence overtook the noise of his ravaging, and by human reflex Riza looked down. Their eyes met and Roy gave her a smirk in reply.

"Am I bothering you, Lt. Hawkeye?"

Riza forced a smile and looked away, her cheeks flushed.

"No sir," she said through clenched teeth, "not at all."

"Well, good. I can't seem to find that--"

Riza zoned him out, however hazardous that might prove. She saw her co-workers walking through the hallway, stopping to momentarily stare. She knew the situation didn't look well. It probably appeared that Roy was molesting her...and that she was letting him. With situations like this, Riza couldn't imagine why people were inspired to invent rumors that she should date Roy, or that they were already having some sort of affair.

"Hawkeye, would you mind moving your legs to the right. They might get scratched when I open this drawer to its full extent."

Riza immediately moved her legs to the side. The rumors of course were preposterous. She'd never date someone so perverted, immature, so... There were a million reasons why she would never even consider the option. In fact, she could think of several reasons at the top of her head. And since she could hardly concentrate with Roy so very close to her, the option of coherently proofreading the articles was wiped out. She decided to make a list instead.

8 Reasons I would never date Roy Mustang

It seemed like an appropriate title. Riza moved the paper slightly away from Roy, in case he got curious.

Reason # 1

Roy Mustang is a womanizer. He'd never be dependable. You'd never be able to have a serious relationship with him, or one at all for that matter.

Riza sighed, that was pretty accurate. And if she would ever consider having any sort of romantically involvement with a man, it'd have to be a serious one. She wouldn't tolerate someone who came home late or drunk, or even both. Not that she watched Roy at night or sniffed at his coat... No, it wasn't that at all! It was just something she suspected he did, or rather expected from him.

Roy finally stood up, much to Riza's relief.

"By the way Hawkeye, you should really wear skirts more often."

Riza felt her temper rise. What an insufferable jerk! She griped her pen harder as he left.

Reason # 2

Roy Mustang is an arrogant idiot. He's careless in battle and thinks himself invincible. Not to mention the high dose of conceit that must run through his veins!

Riza stood, picking up the stack of papers she had successfully corrected. Why did she have to get stuck with the Colonel's paperwork?

Reason # 3

Roy Mustang is an irresponsible, lazy man. If he'd actually do his work, maybe his rank would be justified. Although---

Everyone knew that although he was higher in rank, Riza was the one in the control. Riza smiled to that. She walked into his office, hoping she'd catch him so she could scold him, but found it empty. She decided she best put his papers away and immediately was bombarded by a portrait of Maes Hues and his family. Riza almost laughed. For someone who claimed to hate Mae's obsession with family, Roy kept a picture on his own desk of them? (Which he hardly spent time in, much to Riza's dismay.)? The photograph brought back flooding emotion of sorrow. She sorely missed Maes. He knew how to make Roy smile. How ironic she worked with him the closest and she knew nothing of how to make him happy. In that sense, she had envied Maes.

"Something catch your eye, Hawkeye?"

Riza spun around, with inhuman speed and faced Roy. She felt like a small child being caught disobeying rules. She felt at loss for words.

Reason # 4

One day he'll give me a heart attack. Either it being his fall in battle or incidents like this. Not to mention he makes a babbling idiot out of me.

"Sir, I was just putting away... I'm terribly sorry sir, I didn't mean to... Well I didn't mean to intrude..."

She was getting nowhere, Riza noticed. Roy then did something completely unexpected.

He laughed.

Reason # 5

He makes me look and feel like a complete and utter idiot.

Riza felt her cheeks flush again. She clenched her fists.

"Is something funny, sir?"

Roy stopped laughing immediately; and gave Riza a rarely shown, serious stare.

What was wrong with him? Only women were supposed to get mood swings, for god's sake!

Reason # 6

Roy Mustang is unpredictable. Riza was not too fond of routine, but hey! It was comfortable once in a while. She concluded Roy wasn't too fond of giving her comforts.

"Nothing Hawkeye, you just seem to be jumping at my shadow."

Riza wanted to shoot him, really, really badly. However, he was right. She was afraid of him. Any slight thing he did affected her tremendously. Why?

Reason # 7

I hate Roy Mustang. He contains all the qualities I'd loathe in someone. Working with him so closely has deepened the feeling.

Roy walked towards Riza and placed his arm on her shoulder.

"I have to admit Hawkeye, I don't know what I would do without you."

He walked away then, Riza felt her knees give away.

Reason # 8

I could never hate Roy Mustang because I'm in love with him. If I dated him, he'd have full control of me. And loosing him would be too much for me to bear. Taking that risk would be...

Riza sighed. She went after Roy.