By animeninjaNIPPON

Zim stood on a random street corner disguised as a human boy with a skin condition, with Gir as his green dog.

"I'm going to woo and marry the first human that walks around that corner," Zim vowed as Gir distracted himself with a nearby daisy.

It wasn't a whole minute before a cheery-looking little girl in pigtails pranced down the sidewalk, licking a blue lollipop. Zim stepped out to block her path.

"Hear me, Earth-monkey!" he bellowed, looming over the sweet, innocent child. "You are going to be my Irken bride, and we will live happily ever after in – "

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" the girl squealed, dropping her lollipop and taking off in the opposite direction.

"Well, that was no good," Zim mused. "Gir, what should I do now?"

"Say PREEEEETY things," Gir replied, picking the daisy and handing it to his master.

The next miserable shlubb to bob around the corner was a fat man in a tank top and hot pants. Zim cringed at the thought of spending eternity with that hideous worm baby, but he sucked up his pride and stepped out.

"What spite threw yellow prison breaks?" he said dramatically, trying to quote something he once heard on TV. "It is a stinkbeast, and…uh… marry me, you pretty thing." He presented the fat man with the daisy.

"Sorry, I'm already married," the man said, showing Zim his sock puppet and walking away. The little Irken winced.

"GIR! Now what?"

"Give her a BIIIG kiss!" Gir replied, hugging himself.

Zim's eye twitched as he realized what he had to do. He could already hear footsteps as his soon-to-be soul mate drew ever closer… and closer…

Zim took a deep breath, shut his eyes tightly and pressed his lips to those of the unsuspecting human he threw his arms around. He braced himself to feel pain, but instead felt the human's arms wrap tightly around him and draw him closer, elaborating on the lip-lock. Zim had never felt such a marvelous feeling in his entire existence, and wondered who that extraordinary Earth creature could be. He slowly pulled away, carefully opened his eyes, and gazed upon the face of –

"DIB!" Zim fell back on his Irken butt.

"What'd you expect?" said Gir, making propeller noises as he "flew" a new daisy around like a plane.

End of part two