A/N: Thank you all so much for all the reviews! I guess my little threat worked on all of you…hehe. Anyway, here's the next one, hope you guys like it. Oh, and by the way, this entire chapter is one long flashback, just to clear that up for you guys.
Lauren
Disclaimer: if I owned Harry Potter, would I be this excited for next Saturday?? No, not quite.
Chapter Four
Making Up is Hard to Do
It had taken Hermione three days to convince Ron to be her friend again, and they were the longest, most agonizing days of her life. But if he had made her wait a year, she would have hung in there. Anything it took, she would have done it, because to her, having Ron on her side again was worth doing anything.
During the second week of school, Hermione was feeling more depressed than she had all summer. At least over the summer she hadn't had to see him, but now he was everywhere she turned. It was driving her crazy, because now he was the one existing peacefully, and she wondered how he did it. Did she mean that little to him? It bothered her that she was so still so upset over something that had happened four months earlier.
She couldn't stand being in the common room at night, because that's where Ron, Harry and Ginny would be every night, so she began spending even more time in the library. She wouldn't return to the common room until two in the morning, not only because of the fact that, as Head Girl, she was instructed to check the halls before retreating to bed, but also because no one in their right mind stayed up past two. No matter how hard Harry and Ginny tried to coerce her into staying in the common room, it was to no avail. She couldn't possibly stand putting Ron in that kind of position.
By the middle of the second week, Hermione was holding back so much she almost burst. She talked to Ginny about it, but only to a certain point. She didn't like burdening everyone with her problems when in retrospect, they were quite trivial in the scheme of things. So she kept it mostly inside.
On this particular Thursday night, Hermione made her routine stop in the library, plopped herself down, practically dumped the contents of her bag onto the table, and sorted through her books. She took a deep breath, scanned the table, and immediately plunged into her Potions work. It must have been an interesting sight to see, Hermione the robot at it again, but noticeably more vigorously than usual. No one said anything though, they just carried on and let her do her thing.
"Ron, where are you going?" Ginny asked, noticing him getting up from one of the chairs in the common room. She knew—well, strongly hoped—the answer, but asked anyway.
"Oh, just going to take a walk, I'll be back in a little bit." He walked through the portrait hole and into the corridors.
He slowly made his way down the hallway and down the flight of stairs until he reached the library. Calmly, he opened the door and silently, unnoticeably, walked across the room, Hermione too involved to look up. He made it to a table across the room, sat himself down, and proceeded to do nothing else but watch. Watch the robot go at it until she got so exhausted that she fell asleep, her head resting on the palm of her hand.
By the time Ron got up, most of those in the library had left and gone to bed. Indeed, it was one in the morning, so it was usual for Hermione to be the only one there under normal circumstances. He walked over to her and slowly, quietly, closed her books and placed them in her bag. He flung it over his shoulder and looked down at the bushy hair spread across her face. As gently as he could, he knelt down and slid his arms underneath her, pulling her out of her chair and into his arms. She moaned a bit, mumbling something about the famous Witch Riots of 1876, and rested her head on his shoulder. He carried her out of the library and up the stairs, looking down at her occasionally with a smile just barely perceptible.
They were halfway back when Ron began having trouble. He was strong, but not that strong. He set her down on her feet gently, pulled her up by her waist, and held her on his hip like one would hold a child. Hermione immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, and began mumbling again.
"Whaddar you doin outta bed, you know you shouldan be outin the halls at this tima night…if you don't go now, I'll hafta report this to McGonagall…" she slurred, sounding slightly drunk. It was then that he remembered her Head Girl duties. Feeling slightly guilty, he took off down the hallway again and searched through almost all the school before feeling satisfied, carrying her the whole time. I guess I underestimated the responsibilities she has… he thought, finally making it back to the portrait hole.
"Spew," he whispered, and with a sweet smile, the Fat Lady opened up and let them in. Sure, he had woken her up, but the sight before her was worth it. And sure, it really wasn't supposed to be spew, but out of spite for Hermione, Ron had convinced the Fat Lady to change it from S.P.E.W. Who wanted to say all those letters anyway?
He climbed through the portrait hole to find an empty common room. He tiptoed up the stairs to the girls' dorm and quietly opened the door. He walked over to her bed, placed her bookbag on the floor, and sat Hermione in a chair. He pulled off her sweater, folding it and placing it on the table by her bed, and searched through her drawers for some pajamas. He softly removed her school clothes, placed them on the table, and pulled her nightgown over her head. She let out a little yawn, and again, Ron smiled that barely perceptible smile. He pulled back the covers, laid her down, and tucked her in. He turned to stand up, but the sudden urge to kiss her came over him. He bent down quickly and without a second thought, pecked her forehead. He walked over to the door and, after a brief pause, descended the stairs to the common room, taking himself to bed.
The next morning, Ron, Harry and Ginny were at the table eating breakfast when the owls came with the mail. Ron was happily eating his toast and telling Ginny how exciting the new quidditch season was going to be when something fell onto the eggs he had piled up on his plate. Harry and Ginny both looked at the note curiously, but Ron looked more upset that something had obstructed his view of his lovely plate of food. Stuffing the piece of toast he was holding in his mouth, he opened the parchment and recognized the handwriting at once.
Ron,
I know I've been a terrible jerk, and that we aren't really the best of friends any more, but I was wondering if you could find it in your heart to forgive me and give me another chance. I know that I probably don't deserve it, and that you're probably fine without us speaking, but I miss you terribly and wish I could take back everything that happened. If your answer is no, I understand, and I won't bother you any more. But please, think about it.
Love,
Hermione
Ron read the note over almost ten times before he folded it up and placed it in his pocket. Noticing the curious eyes across the table, he gave Harry and Ginny a small smile.
"Ron, what is it?" Harry asked.
"Oh, nothing, just um…McGonagall asked to see me quickly. No big deal," he said, looking down at his plate of eggs. The others seemed satisfied and so, carried on with their breakfast.
That night, Hermione was in her usual spot, the effort going into her homework rivaling that of last night to the point where people began to wonder if she was sane. Yes, she was perfectly sane, she wanted to tell them, but she was trying so hard not to worry about the note she sent Ron, and the only way to distract herself was to work, work work.
At eight o'clock, the door to the library opened and in entered Ron, one hand in his pocket folding and unfolding the note. He slowly walked up to her table and pulled out a chair directly in front of her. As she tried not to look up, he sat down.
After a moment of showing Ron how hard-working she was, she looked up and put down her quill.
"Hello," she said, amazed at how well she was keeping her composure while saying the first words she had been able to speak to him in over three months.
"Hello," he responded, amazed at how difficult that one-syllable word had been to say in the presence of the bushy-haired, wide-eyed girl—erm, woman—he had just carried to bed last night.
"So um…what brings you here?" she asked, knowing very well he had gotten the note, but not quite expecting him to actually care.
"Well, I got your note. I thought we could talk—this time, without a quill and parchment," he added with a brief smile. Hermione blushed, but more out of embarrassment; based on past experience, she wasn't too good with words when it came to situations that involved speaking in person.
"Oh, um, sure, okay," she stumbled.
"So um, about us becoming friends again…well, I guess I have a few things to say first, if you don't mind," he asked.
"Sure, yeah, of course…"
"Well, say we became friends again. I don't know if I'd be able to immediately feel normal about us again, I mean, it has been three months since we talked, so obviously it's going to take some time to work things out. And then there's the chance that we'll stop talking again, and you know, I really don't think I can handle that again, because it just hurt too much the first time it happened. That would be really hard to deal with a second time. Also, if we become friends again, we're going to reach this point where you're going to tell me how much you fancy this other person, and I'll probably be okay with that, but I'll really just be wondering why it's not me instead of whoever that other bloke's gonna be…and then I won't really know what to do with myself." He took a deep breath and sighed like twenty pounds had been lifted off his shoulders. He rested his hands on the table and twiddled his fingers expectantly.
Hermione sat there like twenty pounds had been dropped on her shoulders. He had really said a lot, and though it was wonderful that he had expressed his thoughts on the matter, she felt a little overwhelmed. She did understand exactly what he had meant, about everything, but was still trying to figure out how to respond to it. She wiggled her toes uncomfortably in her shoes and leaned against the table. How did he say all of that so calmly?
"Well, Ron, I um…"
Well, it's a good start, now keep going…
"I um, understand what your saying…and um, well," she continued.
Oh, come on! You're doing a really great job of convincing him that you want to be friends again… she thought sarcastically.
"I'm not really, um, expecting or hoping that you and I will uh, go back to having a um, a normal friendship right off the bat, you know?"
Okay, okay, that's good, keep going…
"I'm only hoping that you and I can stop ignoring each other and acting like the other doesn't exist, because really that's the main thing that's bothering me, I mean, I hate it when I see you and I know I can't talk to you, because I really just miss talking to you and it's driving me crazy, so if that could just stop I would be so glad."
She took another deep breath and looked up from the desk she had been staring at the whole time to see how Ron had reacted so far. He was listening attentively, but he was holding back a smile. Hermione felt a little discouraged by this, thinking he was laughing at her, but she was determined to keep going. So she did.
Or she tried to anyway.
"Um, about the not talking for a while thing…"
Well, what am I gonna say? It's not going to make much of a difference to try and explain my reasons to him… It happened, and I won't ever do it again, but will he believe me? He doesn't seem to be taking me very seriously at the moment…
Ron let out a little giggle. Hermione, more frustrated than ever, flashed him an evil glare that shut him up.
"Um, I promise that that will never happen again, as I was not quite sure what I was doing and I really didn't mean it. And to tell you the truth," here she paused, taking another breath. Ron listened attentively.
"as much as this probably bothers you to hear it, you are that person." She sighed heavily, realizing what she had just said, and trying not to blush.
Ron, for one thing, almost had a headache from trying not to smile. It was just so unusual to see her so vulnerable. He wasn't smiling in a mean way, he just thought it was quite admirable seeing that in her. For another thing, had she just admitted she still liked him? No, no, that's not what she meant. She was just saying…something else. He caught her eye and saw her smile sheepishly. I hope he didn't realize what I meant by that last statement she prayed.
"Well, um, I need to finish my potions work," Ron said, looking at the clock on the wall. It was ten thirty. Where had the time gone? She wondered. Ron got out of his chair. Hermione's heart sank a little, but she looked up at him and grinned.
"Okay, well um, good luck," she responded, feeling a little dumb for not knowing what else to say.
She watched him as he left, feeling even more unsure about everything than ever before.
Hope you guys liked that! Sorry it was so long, but I couldn't stop writing! Please review! Pretty please?
