I Dream of Xena by: Doggettfann Rating R Spoilers: Up to season 5 CSI and all seasons of Xena Disclaimer: Don't own characters from either show. Just having fun.

A/N This story will make more sense to you if you are familiar with both shows. The parallels between the two are amazing.

Sara Sidle sat alone on her sofa watching Season Two of her Xena DVD collection. She'd gotten through all of Season One and was half way through with Season Two. She had always been a fan of the Warrior Princess. Sara admired Xena's courage to take on the challenges of a man's world. The sounds of a Las Vegas weekend faded in through Sara's window as she enjoyed her night off sipping on Lite Beer and watching her heroine throw a chakram around and yell her battle cry. Sometimes Grissom made Sara so angry that she wanted to just yell that battle cry out at him. She wondered what he would do if she actually tried it sometime. Sara imagined the puzzled look on his handsome face. She burst out loud into a fit of giggles at the image.
A buzz was coming on and her eyes were heavy with sleep. Sara soon drifted into a nap as her pretty head fell softly onto the arm of her couch.

The beer, the exhaustion, the DVD's, the tension of work, whatever it was began cranking the crazy dream maker in her head. It was so realistic. Sara looked down and she was wearing a leather dress with a heavy breast plate.
On her back was a sword and in her hand was a sharp chakram. "What's going on?" she gasped, looking around at the forest that stretched for miles around her.
"Xena," a familiar voice snapped. She turned to see an annyoing strawberry-blonde with a staff. But it was the wrong annyoing strawberry-blonde. It wasn't Gabrielle, it was Catherine in Gabrielle's clothes. "Catherine?" Sara asked, puzzled, shaking her head.
"Xena, are you alright? It's me, Gabrielle"
But it wasn't. It was Catherine. Sara was confused.

Sara marched ahead, her leather boots stoming the stray sticks and crunching leaves below her feet. Gabrielle/Catherine hurried behind her.
"Xena, where are we going?" Gabrielle pestered.
"I've gotta get to the bottom of this. Ares will know what's going on"
Gabrielle announced quickly, "Ares? We can't trust Ares, Xena, he's"
"The God of War," a deep voice said, cutting the bard off. Sara turned around.
It was Grissom. He was dressed in a black leather costume, his chest slightly exposed. "Grissom?" Sara panted, startled that he had just appeared from thin air.
"Ares," he corrected, touching his beard in a flirting manner.
"I must be dreamimg," Sara concluded.
"Yes, Xena. It is a dream. So, join me while you can. Lead my army. You always were my star pupil"
"Oh great," Sara said. "Here you are popping in and out of my life, on your terms"
"Think about it," Ares said before disappearing. His voice could still be heard throughout the forest. "Til next time, Xena."

"Another one of Ares tricks, Xena. This is not a dream," Gabrielle quipped.
They walked a few miles in the woods before they heard someone whistling.
"By the Gods," Gabrielle sighed. "It's Joxer"
"No it's not,' Sara corrected. "It's Greg"
Greg Sanders strolled up in Joxer's corny helmet. "Hey, hey"
"Let me guess," Sara snapped, "you're Joxer"
"Um yes. And you're Xena. I like this game," he said in his goofy voice.
"Come on Joxer," Gabrielle smiled. "We're on our way to see Salmoneus.
He has the golden apple that Ares is trying to get to feed Xena. So that he can tempt her into eternity with him"
A horse rode up fast from the trail behind them. "Callisto?" Joxer gasped.
"Bullshit. That's Hophia, I mean, I mean, Sophia"
Sophia was a blonde wild woman coming up fast on a white horse. She jumped off of the stalllion and pulled a sword on Sara.
Callisto snarled "I want that apple. Ares wants me by his side as his warrior queen. Not you. You are his past. I am his future"
Sara's blood boiled at the thought of Grissom with Sophia. Or Ares with Callisto, whichever it may be in this wacky dream. She pulled her heavy sword and scrapped metal with Callisto's iron.
"Bitch," Sara spit. "Don't fuck with me. I'm Sara, Warrior Princess!"

Ares appeared from thin air. "I'm flattered, ladies, really. But we all know who wears the crown of my warrior queen," he smirked. "Xena. I didn't know about beauty until her"
Callisto rode off in a fit of furry. Sara turned to look at Ares but he was gone. "Damn him," Sara cursed.

They made it to the next village market where Salmoneus was selling the golden apple. Sara bumped face into Nick Stokes. He was wearing a yellow shirt that showed off his tight muscles.
"Nick"
"Hercules"
"Oh, brother"
"Xena? Salmoneous is looking for you," Hercules smiled.
Gabrielle's eyes lit up at the sight of Hercules.
"Come on, Gabrielle," Joxer moaned.
Sara knew that she could never escape this crazy dream until she got this apple.
"Where the hell is Salmoneous?" she bitched, looking around the market full of Greeks.

She looked up to see Warrick standing tall with a sly smile. "Salmoneous?" She asked.
"Cupid, baby," He responded.
"Move," Sara said, pushing past him. She wanted out of this dream.
Across the market, at a vendor's cart she saw Jim Brass in a loud purple suit, selling a basket of goods to a peasant family.
"Salmoneous?" she asked.
"Ah, ha! Xena! My friend! I have the golden apple for you! Tell Ares if he wants it,
he'll buy it. It's a high price but he can afford it"
"Yeah, well all he ever gave me in my life was an A, book for Christmas, and a plant"
"What?" Salmoneous quizzed.
"Never mind. I'll call upon him. Just not here"
She sent Gabrielle and Joxer on the road with Hercules and Iolaus, who had now joined Hercules. He looked like Hodges to her, but she wasn't arguing anymore.
On her way to the temple of Ares, she saw Doc Robbins sitting on a rock along her path.
"Doc Robbins"
"Hades," he acknowleged.
"Oh, I see. What do you want"
"You know how to wake up, Xena. You must taste the apple"
"I'm not falling for your tricks," she refused.
"You have something on your mind," Hades noted.
"Yeah," she admitted, stopping before him. "You wonder if Ares is your father. You know he was your lover. You wonder if the rumors are true"
Sara looked away. "Father figure at one time but I'm over that. Ares and I just can't get on the same page"
"Ares is not your father. Atrius is your father. But he is not away at war. Your mother killed him, Xena. She killed him with an axe as he was coming for you. Don't you remember"
Sara ran into the temple of Ares.
He wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"Let's get on the right page," Ares said, a low whisper in her ear.
She twirled around to face him. "Make the pain go away, Grissom, I mean, Ares"
"Eat the apple." He placed it to her lips.
"Immortal? With you"
"Yes," he tempted.
"How'd you get the apple"
"I have my ways. I am in charge around here"
"Okay," Sara smiled.
"Remember when I was your teacher, I taught you how to be the best?" Ares asked, with a gaze in his eyes. His leathered crotch pressed deeply into her. "Then you led my army. You made me so proud"
"I want to make you proud"
"Submit to me. To my will. Eat"
Her teeth sank into the apple and they fell to the floor. Ares produced a long satin scarf from thin air and tied her hands with it. He shed her clothing and bit at her erect nipples. His tongue pleased her inner thighs and on to her honey box. He plunged his hard rod past her eager lips and then mounted her, pushing his flesh into her warm and wet hole. She let out a battle cry.

Sara woke in a sweat. Her heart was pounding for Grissom.

The next day in the break room, Grissom entered with his lunch. She smiled at him remembereing her dream.
"Hey, Sara, I have this apple left over. Do you want it?
"Put it in my mouth," she smiled.
"Excuse me?" he said, raised brows, open mouth.
She let out a battle cry.
"Okay then. You really wanted an apple," Grissom guessed as he placed the fruit in her mouth. He loved the sight of her open lips for him. "Too much Xena," she explained and chomped into the apple.

End