1Thank you guys for all the updates! I appreciate them all. And, by the way, they are... um... let's see. Their juniors. I think I might say that later in the story, I'm not really sure, but good question. I think they're probably about 17... how about that:D. THANKS YOU GUYS! KEEP EM COMIN!
Chapter 2 - "The Funeral/Hate"
I sat in the front pew next to my dad and brothers. I couldn't pay attention as he droned on about how great of a woman my mother was. My eyes kept drifting over towards her closed casket. I shuddered at the thought of her beaten body inside of it. How, when I saw it on the cold, silver table I hadn't believed it was my mother. My best friend was lying in front of me–caked blood, bruises, and cuts all over her body–as she lay there quietly, her eyes closed. The woman I knew and loved would have threw open her eyes and jumped into my hands, making a joke about something that we both would be on the floor laughing about. No, I didn't know this woman.
I shuddered and looked quickly away–catching the eyes of Bram who was standing in the back of the church. I couldn't look at him right now, so I quickly turned away. Holden tapped me, giving me a harsh look and nodding towards the preacher. I sighed quietly to myself and obediently looked up at the preacher. "God called Sarah to Heaven, and she is up there right now... most likely telling the angels how beautiful they look," there was a gentle laugh that radiated through the congregation, "because that was the kind of wonderful, young woman that Sarah Wilson was. Though in her wake, she left a brilliant, loving, caring husband, Drew, two sons, Hayden and Holden James, and finally one daughter, Haley James. Sarah once confessed to me that her best friend was her daughter, Haley. Haley, she claimed, was her 'radiant, young, beautiful, caring, loving, carefree angel that God had sent her to help her through the rough years.'
My throat caught and tears brimmed in my eyes. Drew took my hand and squeezed it, giving me a smile.
"And I know that right now, Sarah is shining down on this whole congregation and smiling. And Haley, your mother is probably up in Heaven now singing this song..." his voice trailed off as his eyes shot to the left side of the church.
Everybody's gaze turned to see what he was looking at. It was a stereo. It crackled and popped at first, but then the soft sound began to fill the packed church.
Tears welled in my eyes, threatening to spill, as I looked through the window and up into the sky. The first lines of the song came on
Come to me now
and lay your hands over me
even if it's a lie
say it'll be alright
and I shall believe
I couldn't avoid to anymore. I squeezed my eyes shut as the dam broke and the tears I had been holding back the entire service fell. Drew gently slid his arm around my shoulder and drew me closer. "She can't be gone," I sobbed. "It's not fair. She was finally getting her life back together. Why did this happen?" I took a few deep, rapid breaths, trying not to hyperventilate as the song continued to play.
"I'm so sorry, Haley," Drew broke down and started crying with me, his chest heaving up and down with each ragged breath he took. I looked up to see Holden and Hayden both staring at me, tears in their eyes. I slowly let go of Drew as I hugged Holden first.
"I love you so much, bro," I whispered in his ear. He just nodded, the tears too much to even utter a word, "and moved love you, too. So much. She loved you so much. You were a pain, but she never stopped kicking you in the ass and then loving you more," I laughed. I pulled back and looked at him. His eyes were squeezed shut as he nodded.
I caught my breath and then moved over to Hayden. He was trying to not cry, but it wasn't working. His eyes were brimming with tears, "I love you, Hay. You were the oldest, the wisest, the most perfect, the coolest... everything I'm not," I laughed, "and Mommy loved you for that. Every single moment of every single day. She never stopped, and she is in Heaven loving you right now."
"I know, Hales," he nodded, the tears slowly trickling down his face. "I know."
I smiled, biting my lip, as the last of the tears slowly found their way down my face and onto my dress. I took a step back, looking at the three of them, sitting there crying, and then I turned around to face what was left of my mother. I slowly made my way up towards the casket–feeling every single eye in the church on me. I held out a shaky, nervous hand as I touched the hard polished wood. "I love you so much, Mom," I said quietly. I lifted the shaky hand up to my lips and then brought it down again. "I love you," I said. I lifted my face down and planted a soft kiss on the hard, shiny wood.
And I shall believe
The song came to a close as the soft chords ended and then the church was silent–except for the terrible sobs coming from different mourners. My mom's mother–Grams--couldn't help herself from crying out for her lost daughter. My mom's dad–Pops–was holding her tightly in his strong, old hands as they rocked together. Hayden's fiancé , Megan, was caressing his hair as she leaned in and was whispering things to him. Holden's girlfriend, Cara Leigh, was holding him in her arms and crying with him. I looked up at Bram. His eyes looked glazed, cold and hard. He was high. I sighed to myself, looking down. I couldn't help but feel alone and empty. Without anyone in my life to hold me in these times.
"Haley," somebody said softly from behind me, laying a massive, strong hand on my back, "let's go now, baby."
I nodded, looking up at Drew, "okay, Dad," I nodded again as he led me down the aisle. It was a long aisle. Really long. And there were tons of people. Tons of them. It made my heart swell that people liked my mother so well. The woman whose life had maliciously been ripped from her because of a boy who had been too careless to stop at a large, red stop sign. The boy had been lucky. Terribly, terribly lucky. He had lived. Not only had he lived, but he had gotten off, too, and Dad didn't press charges. I mean, you would have thought manslaughter of the first degree, right? No. Nothing.
I hated him for that. For living, I hated the boy who didn't die. I hated him for killing my mother, mostly, but I hated him for living while she was about to be buried six feet under. She was a beautiful, caring, kind, understanding, loving mother of three and a wife of the most wonderful man I knew. She was. That's Past tense. He had made the 'I love my Mom' into 'I loved my mom.' I hated him. And if I ever see him in my life, I will not hesitate to kill him. I want to take away the same life that took my mother's. I hate him.
I hated Nathan Scott.
