1Sorry it's been so long! I am totally sorry, but it's been completely hectic. School is almost over, though! Heck Yes! Lol. Anyways. How about two chappies, huh? Sound good? A start. ;). Thanks for reading and reviewing. You are all awesome. Keep it up.
Chapter 5 - "Solace"
The bell rang as I got up from my seat and headed out the door. I pulled out the slip of printed paper from my back pocket and scanned over it, looking for the room number to English 3. Miss Johnson, it said, English 3 in room 409. I looked up at the number of the classroom I was at right now: 110. I sighed, figuring English was in another building, as I headed towards the exit of building one.
I circled around the building and finally came to another one. Building two. I sighed as I shook my head and turned around. All I saw were two buildings, and then one to the far left. "You lost?" somebody asked. I twirled around to face a scrawny kid with a wide smile.
I laughed, unnerved, as I nodded my head, "you see, I'm a total dunce, and I have somehow gotten my genius self lost. Please tell me how to get to English 3," I said pleadingly.
"No problem," he laughed. "Your at the right building. It's the upstairs of this building. You see, levels three and four are located in building two. And in building one, levels one and two are there."
"That is so crazy," I laughed. "No wonder I got lost."
"Yeah," he nodded, "it's Tree Hill, though, everything around here is crazy."
I laughed, shaking my head, "well, thank you for redirecting me..." I paused, insinuating to him what his name was.
"Oh, it's Mouth."
"Mouth," I nodded. "I'm Haley."
"Well, I'll see you around, Haley," he said with a slight wave.
"You, too, Mouth," I smiled as I turned around and started into the building. I found the stairs and started ascending them, finally getting to the top. 400... 401... 402... 403... 404... I walked past the various classrooms, "ah ha!" I said in a triumphant voice.
I laughed, rolling my eyes at myself, and then walked in. Everybody was already seated and talking to each other, waiting for the bell to ring. In the front of a classroom, a middle-aged woman had her head down and was grading papers.
I sighed and walked over towards her, "um... excuse me. Where may I sit at?"
"What!" she screamed out, making me jump. The whole class got quiet as I blushed scarlet, wondering what I had done.
"Ma'am?" I said in a small, child-like voice.
"What did you just say?" she croaked, her voice squeaky and loud.
"I was just wondering where I needed to sit."
"No, you didn't. You asked me where you may sit at. What is wrong with that sentence?"
"I... uh... well..." my sentence trailed off. The last thing I could do now was think about what was wrong with my sentence.
"Scott, go ahead and tell us what she did wrong," I sighed gratefully to myself, thanking the Lord that Lucas was in this class. I turned around expecting the dirty blonde, but instead I saw a black-headed boy with an evil smirk.
"She ended the sentence with at," he smiled and winked at the teacher.
"What a surprise, Nathan. You actually got that one right."
I didn't hear what smart ass comment he said to her, because my throat had caught and I my heart had stopped as I stared at the black-headed boy. The same one I hated with a passion. He looked up at me, and then it clicked, too. I saw the cockiness in his features melt down to butter as he returned my hazel gaze with his deep, green one.
"Miss, is there something wrong?" the teacher barked, but I couldn't respond. Even if I had tried to, nothing would have come out.
I clenched my fists, feeling the anger rising inside of me and turning everything happy cold and dark. I whirled around and ran for the door, not stopping running until I was in the bathroom and throwing up in the stall.
Fresh tears were falling down my face–partly because of the throwing up bit and then partly because of the dramatic irony that fate shoved in my face. Who in a million years would have thought that relocating to an entirely different place would just happen to be the place where the boy who killed my mother lived. Nobody would!
I splashed my face with cold water, trying to get my thoughts together. I felt around in my backpack and pulled out a bottle of ibuprofen, taking out three tablets and popping them with only a sip of tap water. I needed a quick fix. I sighed and looked into the mirror. I looked a mess. All of my make up had wiped off except my mascara and eye liner which were now in streaks on my face because of my tears, I had circles under my eyes from the none sleep I had gotten for the past week, and my eyes were bloodshot. I looked terrible. I was a train wreck.
I scrubbed at the tear stains on my face, successfully getting them off, and then just left the darkness under my eyes. I sighed, not wanting to fix my face, and then stepped back. I squeezed my eyes shut, said a silent prayer, and then slowly opened the door, walking outside.
And there he was. The one guy I hated more than anything. He was just standing against the wall in front of the Ladies' bathroom, his head lowered, his arms and feet crossed. I stared at him in shock, looking him up and down.
His head shot up, feeling my presence in the empty hallway. He immediately stepped up, his mouth open forming words, but I stopped him, "–please don't say anything. It would just make things worse. Listen, I don't even know you, but somehow, fate shovels shit–in the form of you–into my face and now I'm stuck with a face full of shit that I can't remove. You killed my mom. Why?" tears threatened to fall again as I bit my lip and opened my eyes wide, trying to avoid them.
Nathan Scott opened his eyes wide, "I never saw her car, I swear. I was late and it was beginning to get dark and I didn't see her dark car and I... I hit it," he took a step forward, but I stepped back away from him.
"You have no clue how much I'm hurting right now. And then standing here right now with you in front of me..." I shook my head, "I hate you with every fiber in my body. I want nothing more than for you to be buried 12 feet under, but that is never going to happen because you have a rich daddy. I lost my mother because you were in a hurry! You can never understand how that feels!"
"I know I can't. God, don't you think I know that," he said, his eyes filled with mixed emotions. "I can't bring your mom back, Haley. I'm sorry, but I can't. I wish so much that I could, but I can't. Sometimes I think what would have been different if I would have stopped at that stupid stop sign, if I would have taken the long way, if I would have left a minute earlier, if I would have not even gone... if. If only."
"What do you want me to say to that?"
"Nothing," he shook his head, "nothing. I can't say anything else, but that I'm sorry... for everything. I'm so sorry for everything that you have ever gone through and are going through now."
"Four days ago I buried my mother!" I cried out, tears falling down my face. "I watched as they put her lifeless body into the ground and then lowered her six feet under, piling cold, hard dirt on top of her. I watched that happen!"
Nathan's eyes glazed over. I let out a deep breath, shaking, "I hate you so much. I hate you for killing her. I wish you would have died," I said maliciously.
My knees buckled and I felt myself falling against the wall and then sliding down. I buried my head in my knees, covering my head with my arms as my chest heaved and sobs filled the quiet hallway.
I felt a two large, strong hands cover my smaller hands as he gently pried them away. I took a few ragged breaths and then looked up, my vision blurry from the tears in my eyes, as I saw Nathan on his knees in front of me, his eyes glazed over, too. "I can't bring her back, Haley, and I'm so sorry for that."
"I just wish it had been me," I cried, truthfully, for the first time. It was more than I had admitted to my brothers, my dad, or Bram. And I had admitted this to the boy who killed my mom. "I wish I had been driving that car. More than anything, I just wish it had been me. She was doing so much more with her life than I could ever do with mine. She was finally getting her life back together... finally... and now none of that matters. It's all gone. A waste."
"Are you saying her life was a waste?" I nodded my head, "no, Haley. No. Were you close to your mother?"
I nodded, confused, but answered, "we were best friends."
"Alright, then. If you two were best friends, then I know that she changed your life in some way. In some huge, phenomenal way, she forever left a mark on your heart that you won't ever be able to forget. Now are you telling me that that was a waste? Are you telling me that she never taught you anything... never showed you what love felt like..."
"She did all of that," I said in a weak voice.
"Then her death was not a waste."
I looked up and stared into his eyes, "you don't know me... you didn't know her."
"Am I right?"
I inhaled sharply, "yes."
"Then does it matter if I really know you or not?"
"She was the strongest person I knew," I said, biting my lip.
"Your right, I didn't know your mother, Haley, but if I know of her, the way you illustrate her... well, then I know she's up there right now," he pointed towards the sky, "and looking down on you, looking after you... your very own angel."
I smiled, nodding, "my angel," I repeated.
Nathan smiled, his hands finding mine, as he held them, "you can do this."
"What if I don't believe?"
"You will," he said assuredly. I sighed, looking into his eyes again. I found solace in his eyes. I had poured out my heart to him, and, in return, I felt like he had done the same. I had found solace in the same person who had killed my best friend... my mother. The same person that I had looked to for comfort and solace whenever I had needed it before... who in a million years would have thought that the only two people I had ever found solace were my mother and the person who killed my mother. Who would have thought...
