Title: Somebody Out There (4/15)
Author: silverphoenix
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: In the middle of a war, there are going to be casualties. This is inevitable. When two people lose their friends, they come to realise that death is not the end of happiness.
SOMEBODY OUT THERE
Part Four: Lost
I have never kept a diary before. I have thought about it, but whenever it came to writing down my private thoughts and feelings I felt foolish, wondering what people would think if they read what I had written. This diary is different, however. I intend for it to be read one day; I intend for this to be a testament of what life was like during the War.
My name is Hermione Granger. I left Hogwarts nearly a year ago, where I was Head Girl and a Gryffindor. I am not sure if this is relevant to anything anymore. Currently, I am training to be an Auror. It is tiring, and there are days when I wake up and I just want to crawl back under the covers.
Sometimes I feel so lost, so alone. One of my closest friends, Ron Weasley, died over a year ago. My flatmate and fellow Auror trainee, Blaise Zabini, lost his close friend as well. Her name was Millicent Bulstrode, and she was a Slytherin just as Blaise was. I did not know her well, and I cannot even claim that I was on friendly terms with her. Nevertheless, she is gone, and I know that I can never fill the gap in Blaise's life that she left, just as he cannot fill the space that Ron left in mine.
Blaise is a good friend, though. He is probably the only person who can see me clearly through all the doubt that I - that we - are living in. Even after lost sleep, lost dreams, lost hopes, he is still there for me, but I worry that we will not make it through the war together. I worry that one, or even both, of us will die.
I do not want this to be the wizarding equivalent of Anne Frank's diary.
There is a dark cloud hanging over me - that is what it feels like, sometimes. It makes my head spin and clouds my thoughts. I cannot shake it off, although I try.
Do you ever wonder if your life is a dream and suddenly you are just going to wake up? Sometimes I hope that that is the case, but then I wonder; what would my real life be like? Would I be a Muggle - the Muggle I would have been if I had not received my Hogwarts letter? Would I be living a 'normal' life, attending university or working?
The reason I ask this is that I have been losing sleep recently. When I am in bed, in the darkness trying and hoping that sleep will consume me, I have time to think. Questions flood my mind, thoughts spinning in my head, and I find myself growing evermore philosophical.
I have made a resolution. I will come out the other side of this war. I will live a long and happy live. I will get married and have children. I will see this diary published.
I will live.
