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The point of it all.

Chapter 1 – "trying to stop"

The point of view of Kate Sanders.

What's the point of it anymore? This whole life thing, I mean really, you spend your whole life trying to make yourself perfect, to impress people. The popular people, you try so hard to impress people that in the end you end up hurting others, and yourself.

I never thought I could live without it, the cheerleading, the constant flirting and the being envied by all the girls at my school. But now that it's gone, and now that I know I won't ever get it back I guess it's just a relief.

It started out slow, my parents deciding on getting a divorce, my grades dropping and my friends slowly leaving my side.

But then the pressure of it all became too much. I wanted to tell someone but I knew I couldn't trust Claire, I knew I couldn't trust anyone. Once I almost did, I went to talk to the school counselor but she just wasn't there, in some meeting thing or at least that's what the secretary said.

It seemed like no one cared, no one asked me why I was so pale or why I didn't eat at lunch. So I started something I knew I never wanted to do.

I can remember watching movies and looking at these girls that did it and thinking how stupid they where. Their life wasn't even bad so why would they do it, why would they feel the need, to slit their wrists.

But yet I still did, I can remember the first time. I had just gotten into a big fight with like 5 of my friends, they just wouldn't stop. Calling me ugly, self centered and fat and that was just the start.

It was in the middle of dinner and I just couldn't take it I ran upstairs, into the bathroom, which was coincidently the only room in my house with a lock. I opened up the mirror shelf and took out my mom's razor.

I remembered exactly how everything was done in the movies. I had a face cloth ready for what I knew would come, blood. My hand was shaking, had it really come to this? Was my life so bad that I felt the need to hurt myself? But I didn't care, it was like this major relief, not that things would get better. But that for that second the pain on my wrist covered the pain on my heart.

But then word got out; Claire had come to my house and found the razor and face cloth hidden behind the toilet. She couldn't keep her mouth shut. And then, it happened my last support, Ethan my boyfriend dumped me. He said we had just gone our separate ways but I knew the true reason, he thought I was a basket case, crazy.

I'm trying to stop, but its just so hard

Authors note: And yeah thats the first chapter! So enjoy r&r and ill write a new chapter probably next week. .