Chapter 2
Destiny shuffles the cards and we play.
Schopenhauer
The day of the burial broke. Christine had spent most time all alone in her room. She hadn't even permitted Raoul in her proximity. On the day of the burial, he somehow had succeeded in it to talk her into a coachtour. After she had gone, he went to his room and changed. He had given his coachman the order to keep her away of the Château and the family cemetery for a long time, that she was unable to notice anything of the ceremony. She had hardly spoken a word with him within the last days. First Raoul thought, that she still reminded their quarrel and so he tried to approach her for days without success. He really had worry about her, she had experienced terrible things and up till now she did not want to speak. And the fact that she had accused him to be responsible for Buquets death... He, who only wanted to save her life all the time! Protecting from this monster, that she could mention for inexplicable reasons at the name. But if Raoul was honest, she had made him thoughtful. What would have been if he really would have kept himself out of everything, as she asked him for?
"I'm frightened to do this, Raoul. It is like I had to walk through the fire."
He remembered the words so well. The words, she said when they forced her to play in "Faust" to trap Erik. If everything had been well, Erik would have appeared in his box, to hear Chrsitine sing and the Sûréte have made him harmless. Christine seemed to be the only one, who had doubts about the success of this crazy plan from the beginning. She had asked him to have to not do it and who he had put pressure on her.
"If I appear, everything is gone!"
That night Raoul had mused about this sentence for a long time. What should be gone and why was she afraid of it? They would finally catch the man who had extorted the opera management around a box and money, who had carried her off to his home below the opera and begged her again and again for months to stay and to assign Raoul. Wouldn't her fears have an end? However he was sure by now that it wasn't the fear of Erik, which has made her frightend.
Within all the years after her death he had got himself clear about it that even then she had been afraid to lose Erik for ever. If they had succeeded at that time to take hold of Erik, they would have killed him undoubtedly and she couldn't have borne this. But she was, this one suspected already much earlier than every other that Erik would take her even if it means to carry her off from the stage. And he finally also had done this. Would Raoul have listened to her at that time and given up his crazy plan, wouldn't Buquet ware still alive yet? Buquet which stepped in their way, to be absolutely fearless to block Erik the access to the stage? Would the police have caught Erik? Would this terrible night really have happened? Or had she been able to make ERik understand that she loved Raoul, with time? What would be if he would have never interfered? And Christine had besought him ... She had been so afraid, to play at these evening and Raoul wondered what had gone to him to ignore these requests - this fear in her eyes.
"Now I am afraid of what I once wanted. He will find me and kidnap in his darkness. Raoul, it never ends and he will always there."
Yes, he had ignored her fear ... and he had been incapable to recognize her secret longing behind it... And both, her ideas and her senses of Erik had caught him up to much soon again.
In the yard he heard the crunching of cartwheels on gravel and he took hastily a look to the outside. An equipage with the family arms of the Chagny. They were too early but this shouldn't disturb him. Better, they came already now, then the burial would be punctual and Christine would actually notice nothing of this. He had to protect her. If she felt better, he would tell her sometime that Phillipe hadn't gone away but had let his life in the catacombs below the opera. He didn't feel tell this to her in a position by now. The doctor had advised him, still to keep any excitement away from her, if he didn't intend to deprive her of the intellect completely.
He twitched with the shoulders and reached for the black coat, before he left his room and ran and the stairs to below. The two women who had entered scrutinized him interestedly, almost maternally when he came to stand near them completely breathless. Although they hadn't seen themselves already for over one year any more, they couldn't force themselves into any warm welcoming as it would have been usual under brothers and sisters. It was Amélie, who moved as the first and stepped to her brother. She hugged him stiffly and kissed his cheek, then looked at him from above to below and pulled the eyebrows up sceptically.
"Nice to see you, Raoul, mon petit. I only wished it would be more pleasant circumstances which would bring us together!" she sighed and started to smooth his coat, like she used to do when he had been a little boy. Raoul fended off only weakly and turned to his oldest sister who watched him with a strict look.
"And where is she?"she asked, saving any welcoming phrase. Raoul wrinkled his forehead, stepped by her side and kissed Hélènes cheek. The sharp undertone in her voice hadn't escaped him .
"She knows nothing of this. I thought it better, to tell it to her later. She is still too ill. I have sent her away with my coachman." he explained quietly, offering the arm to his sisters and led to outside. While they were walking slowly along beside each other the way to the cemetery, Raoul looked from time at the two. No Question, it was clear for erveryone that they were of a higher stand. Both wore clothes of the latest Parisian fashion. In his opinion, both looked a little too stylish for burial. Amélie was the small and younger one of the two sisters. Phillipe had often mentioned that she is the image of her mother. The Comtesse had died at Raouls birth and so he knew of her only of the portrait that could be found in the gallery of ancestral portraits. If he compared Amélie with it now, Phillipe had been right. Her thin, edged face disappeared almost completely in the shade of the hat, she carried, and she seemed much older as she actually was. Hélène was tall, a little firm and the only one in the Chagny line which had dark hair. With the black veil she reminded Raoul of his former governess in a strange way now. He shook the thought off.
"So you still host her under your roof?" Hélène finally found out pointedly. Her intonation displeased Raoul, but the little boy in him refused to oppose her and to answer the same sharp way. He nodded stiffly and turned the look on the stony way, ashamed just like in the past when she had rebuked him for a trick.
"Of course. I can have returned alone into her apartment Christine by no means. She is ill and the doctor thinks I must take care of her!"he declared abashedly.
A strange memory was coming up in him at this moment. As a little boy he once had found a young sparrow which had fallen from the nest. The coachman had explained to him, that the bird could survive with an a little care and Raoul had announced full of pride that he would provide personally. Hélène had kown to prevent this. She refused to take 'the dirty, ill thing' in the castle, she didn't even want that Raoul cared about it in the stables. He had to do more important things she said. Among those more important things had been learning the gallery of ancestral portraits for her. Even Raouls entreaty hadn't made her change her mind. "It doesn't fit one of your social stand to care about ill animals as if you are a middle-class, Raoul!" The sparrow had died.
Raoul blinked and shook the head. He wouldn't allow this time that Hélène decided whom he had to help or not.
"Raoul," Amélie threw in timidly, " It is surely commendable that you take care of this ill woman. I also understand that you feel connected to her in a way... but ".
"But what?" it slipped Raoul, " I feel not connected to her in any way - I love her!"
Amélie sighed deeply and cast an imploring look at her sister. This one cleared her throat and looked at Raoul insistently.
"Listen Raoul, you cling to an old child friendship. You know that even then it wasn't rational to concern with a farmer and his child."
"Musician", Raoul interrupted her for irritatedly.
Hélène wrinkled the forehead and shook the head confusedly.
"What?"
"Christine's father was a musician - a violinist." Raoul corrected her irritated, "you know this anyway. He has taught me for playing the violin at that time!"
"That's such a thing too!" Hélène said in rage, "Playing the violin!You had a good piano teacher and have never been interested in music until you met her.Raoul, now it is time to arise. You must understand that you have to forget this little singer!"
"Forget? I know know whether you haven't received my letters, ma soeur, but we are engaged. I will marry Christine!" Raoul pushed out and kicked a pebble furiously in front of himself. He felt that Amélie pushed calming his hand and called himself to calm down.
"Raoul, she is right." Amélie to his left hand said quietly, "The thing with this singer must be stopped. If she is a sensible, young girl, then she will understand this. She cannot marry you."
"Why not? My God, there is nobody who can dictate to me whom I shall love. And Phillipe has given it up to procure me with a noblewoman. I am old enough to be able to decide how my future will look on my own!"
"Seems that you're not!" Hélène interrupted him brusquely, "you won't marry this woman, Raoul. Phillipe itself was against this. Somebody like her doesn't have sincere interests in you ... only at your money. It would have serious consequences if you marry her."
"Do you threaten me?" Raoul exclaimed and stopped. He pressed his hand to the side and looked at his oldest sister provocatively. She shook the head as if she must discuss his faults with a small one, naiv child.
"If it has to, Raoul,... yes, " she finally sighed without evading his look, " if you marry her not only your reputation but the reputation of our whole family suffers from it. We are one of the oldest and most respected families in France. And you could have every woman. What do you think, what happens if you marry a middle-class one now? One will pull our name through dirt. I simply cannot allow this."
"And she would have nothing of marrying you, Raoul," Amélie continued now and looked at him pleading, "Look, if she would actually marry you now, she wouldn't even be entitled to the title Comtesse and your children also wouldn't have it. She will always remain the small civil."
"It's even better that way. If she marries me nevertheless, then I can be sure of that she really loves me!"
"Raoul, don't be so foolish!"Hélène ejected furiously and went the last steps to the grave at whichs side the coach already was with the coffin. "If you marry her, then we will have no other choice than to dissociate of you in public. Do you really want to give up your family because of to lead such a stupid marriage?"
Raoul twitched with the shoulders, stepped to the grave and cast a look at Amélie which went to them and came to stand besides Raoul now. Her big blue eyes looked at him pleading.
"Raoul, please think of it. If you don't do it for us, then do it for Phillipe! You know exactly he has thought just like Hélène and me. And it would hurt very much to lose one brother again!"
It hurt Raoul to her see like this, he completely turned to her, turned his back off consciously to Hélène and touched both shoulders of Amélie.
"It also would be aching to lose you - both. But letting Christine went away once again ... no. No, I will marry her if she still wants me. Even if this means that I then will have no family anymore!"
The priest appeared and the pall-bearers raised the coffin out of the coach. Raoul turned away from Amélie an the tears that ran over her cheeks now. Nobody would force him this time to do something he didn't wanted. How could they have the audacity to judge Christine whom they didn't even know? It was clear for him, what he would riks with this marriage, he had always known it, but this conversation with his sisters made him absolutely sure that he loved Christine enough to give all this up.
