I am Draith…  Hear me Type out the nastiest chapter to Hiei I have ever thought of… or is it?

Reviewer Shout Outs:

First, just thanks to everyone who reviewed, I was hoping for like, five people to review my story and give me a reason to continue, but this was great! ^__^

Pierce:  Yes, yes, hurry up and all that, I hear you!  However, I do not have the help of an evil muse!  And James is NEVER allowed over here again, do you hear me?  He is a disturbed little hentai former-puppet thing! -__-

Lita:  Glad to entertain! * bows * 

Kamiko Kashibara:  Do not deny the craziness! Laugh! Make them KNOW you are nutso!!

Anichan:  * sigh * if only Kurama really WERE there, ne?

Digi-girl:  Yeah, I guess he is, isn't he?  But it is more FUN this way!  As I always say, I love to torture the fire demon, so why not make a big deal out of vertically challenged ness?

In addition, thanks to Radical Edward, as she inspired the line, "Would you like to fry with that?"  ^__^

Disclaimer:  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, McDonald's, Wal-Mart, Ronald MacDonald, and Clowns in general (though I don't think they have a copy-write as a group, do they?), and I really do not own anything else I guess, nothing in this chapter is mine except for Sara, the horribly energetic young manager who annoys our hero!

A/N:  before I begin, I would like to apologize that this took so long to update… but it's not my fault, really!  Pierce kept sending James (The Undeniably Evil But Kinda Cute Puppet) over, and the evil little muse would not help me with this fic.  He kept loading my mind with stuff for my darkfic, and I could not get a thing done. * sigh * So, this will be a short chapter, but I promise I will update sooner next time!

Chapter 4:   Ronald

Scene 1:   Back at McDonald's, Later

     "Hn.  Please come again," Hiei spat for probably the hundredth time that afternoon.  It did not get any more tolerable with each time, however.  Again, as with them all, the last customers in line gave him an odd look, and slid in line over to pick up their food when it was ready.

     "Mommy, that man was mean!" said the little girl as she clutched her mother's hand and stared up at Hiei with an angry pout.

     Hiei, in turn, bared his fangs at the child.

     The little tyke's eyes widened, and she silently clung to her mother's side as the woman distractedly comforted her with an unconvincing, "Yes dear, of course he was… it's OK, we'll just eat now…" etc.

     Hiei grunted and turned away from the counter, stepping down from the crate.  Taking another look to make sure that the family he had just dealt with was the last of the customers; he headed to the office in the hopes of escaping both patrons and coworkers for a few minutes of peace. 

     Fortunately for the enraged fire youkai, the back room was empty when he walked into it.  Not so physically tired as disturbed and annoyed, Hiei marched frustrated to the wall and leaned up against it, his arms crossed over his chest.  He closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the relative quiet of the office.  Baka ningens, he thought as he sighed in the silent room.

     Silent, that is, until the phone rang shrilly from the desk.  Hiei groaned slightly at the broken peace of the air.  By the third ring, Sara bounced into the office, looking chipper as ever.  She glanced curiously at the fire demon leaning on the wall, and, sitting down on the desk chair, promptly answered the phone.

     "Moshi moshi," she said into the receiver.  She listened for a few moments, seeming to take a second to digest what she heard.  "No, no!  Come on, you can't be that sick… Ok, yes…I understand," she finished.  "Get better quick… Ja!" she ended, and hung up the phone.

     Hiei watched her with a detached curiosity, not even bothering to ask who it was, or even say a word to the young manager.

     Sara sighed, shaking her head silently at his taciturn nature.  Then she suddenly groaned.  "Oh no!  Ugh, Kenshi could not have picked a worse time to be sick, we've got a party of kids coming in tonight!" she complained, looking thoroughly distraught.

     Hiei sighed slightly and shrugged indifferently.  "So?  It's been busy all day, and we've handled it just fine," he said, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall behind him.  He did not want to admit that the thought of the store's dining room being full of screaming children disturbed him.

     Sara looked up at him.  "Yes, but this is a birthday party.  It's not like the regular business!" she said, with a helpless look on her face. 

     "How isn't it?  Get them food, take their stupid ningen money… it's all the same ordeal."

     She gave him a tired look.  "No, Hiei, it's different.  We provide entertainment; one of us dresses up like Ronald MacDonald, clown suit and all, entertaining the kids.  It's part of the reason that parents bring their kids here for their birthday parties," she explained while searching the desk over for some buried paper or another. 

     "So the problem is…?" Hiei asked, not as much interested as bored for the moment.

     Sara looked at him incredulously, then shook her head and responded, "The problem is that Kenshi is the one who dresses up like Ronald, every time.  There is no one else who does it, and now I've got no one to do it!"  The normally chipper manager appeared very distressed as she gave up her hopeless search for paperwork and placed her head in her hands, resting her elbows on the desk in a gesture of defeat. 

     Hiei snorted, annoyed that he was being dragged into the problem.  However, the site of the girl so upset agitated him further.  He sighed slightly in frustration.  "So get someone else to do it," he said, shrugging his shoulders and looking away.

     Sara sighed, and responded in a muffled voice due to her hands over her face, "Hiei, I already told you, there's no- " she stopped suddenly and thought for a second.  Then she looked up and turned her gaze towards Hiei.

     The fire demon caught her look, and cringed inwardly, though keeping his outer poker face intact.  Hiei prepared himself for what he dreaded was coming.

     "Hiei, YOU could do it!" came the exclamation from the now-desperate manager.  She stood up from her seat at the desk, looking excited and pleadingly at Hiei.

     But before her newest employee could get out even one word of refusal, Sara had dashed off towards the store's storage area, where a certain clown costume was kept… leaving a scowling Hiei in her wake.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

A/N:  Yeah, I know… only one scene.  Can you even have "scenes" if there is only one? o.O A question for the ages I suppose.  Anyway, hope you enjoyed this piece of the torture-Hiei-puzzle!  Please Review!  Flame me for insipidness if you wish, I am so bored; I would love to read it!  ^__~ Ja ne!

-Draith