I am Draith… hear me… Uhm, something... type maybe?
Ok, it has been noted I did not respond to everyone's reviews... There is a reason for that! Space saving! Nevertheless, so as not to offend ANYONE, here I go, here is a response to every reviewer.
Mouse: Excellent thought, ne? We shall see…..
Rose Shadow: Yes, he probably would, wouldn't he? ^__~
DeFlIs and Calvia: I love long "LoL" augmentations! Super!! Gotta love the images!
Digi-Girl: Here is the thing, hun, I am short too. I am low-end of the 5' range. I like picking on Hiei, short or not, I would find something. I'm not making a case for making fun of short people of the world, I'm only torturing Hiei by making his height an issue… Kuwabara does it every episode practically… yet we all laugh… or have homicidal thoughts towards the carrot-top… but that is another issue entirely. * Sigh * I am not toning it down, because I like it, and many other people find it funny to make Hiei deal with it. If you do not like it, do not read it. No offense, just being straightforward. Hope you keep reading, as I enjoy your reviews.
Jaid Skywalker: I am glad you did too! Thought you fell off the face of the earth... or something…
Lita: I am, I am!
Radical Edward: Hmm… I think that would overload his tolerance, ne? But we shall see!
Twilight Guardian: Thanks… more chapter is coming!
Shadowy Tenshi-chan: Hey, I think you only reviewed once, and I was not responding to everyone, mostly just to people who made a specific comment, or suggestion, or asked a question, etc. I am sorry! Thanks for reading!!
Saturn Imp: Ahh… one of my favorite reviewers. Is it ok to have favorites? * Looks about nervously * Shh!! Do not tell anyone!! Hope you skip back soon to read this!
Kimiko Kashibara: Heehee another fav… I have a few, do not worry! Sorry you were tickled, hope it was worth it!! Hiei, behave! Or I shall make this story worse on you… Oh, wait, it already is… * grins sadistically *
Elfangel191: thank you!
Angel Red Flame: ROFL! Yes he SO is!!! ^__^ I shall refrain from typing out my quote in Pierce's profile about Hiei… heehee
Kawaii-Psycho: * bows* thank you, I love that line too ^_~ I know, clowns scare me… maybe now I'll laugh when I see one!! mwa haha
Casey: I know you did not sign in, and only reviewed @2… but thank you, that is a compliment, really! Oh, and I only said this was IMPLIED Kurama/Botan. What that means is, that coupling is NOT the focus of this fic. I have sprinkled a bit of K/B fluff throughout the fic, but for those of you who really want it, there has a little more concentrated sprinkling next chapter or so… heehee. Enjoy!
Alrighty then, on with it, ne?
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of the characters… I do not own MacDonald's, or Wal-Mart, or random nameless shops in the Tokyo area of Japan, or ANYTHING! Except Sara! I own Sara, who in no way resembles anyone I know in real life. Honest, she doesn't. Really. I wouldn't lie to YOU! * cough, cough *
Chapter 5: Oh the fun!
Scene 1: The Road to MacDonald's
Kurama waited patiently as he sat on the sidewalk bench. This was the third store that Botan had stopped at on their way to see Hiei, and she was now used to the delays.
After a minute or two, the blue-haired girl emerged from the store, once again carrying several bags in each hand. She smiled at Kurama's expression and walked over to the bench where he sat. With a look around, once again Botan made the bags disappear, wiping her hands at the finished job.
Kurama sighed slightly. "Not to belittle the pleasure of your company, Botan, but that makes three stores now that we've stopped at along the way. Have you bought everything you need now?" he asked as politely as possible, yet still sounding a little tired.
Botan had to chuckle at this. Her usually polite and mannerly Kurama was dangerously close to appearing bored. Well, not "my" Kurama, you don't own him, Botan no baka! She thought. Out loud, she responded, "Yes, I believe so. As long as there are no more wonderful shops between here and MacDonald's!" She grinned at him.
Kurama nearly groaned as he looked down the street that had chosen to take towards the restaurant, and saw many more small shops that he was sure the ferry girl would just love shopping in. "Perhaps we should just make our way directly there," he said, trying his best not to sound pathetically bored.
Botan giggled. "Sure!"
With that, they headed off again in a comfortable silence. They would arrive at MacDonald's shortly, as long as Botan could keep her eyes away from the store windows as they passed around her…
Scene 2: Almost P-A-R-T-Y time
Visions of mass destruction.
Thoughts of homicide.
Eyes filled with fire. Yet the demon could not move. He was surrounded by three of his fellow employees, each one performing his own task of evil torture.
One for his face. One for his hair. One for his body.
Slowly, after an aggravatingly long time in which his persecutors laughed with glee, it was all finished. Hiei scowled. He could already hear the sound of many children gathered in the party room of the dining area.
After receiving the go-ahead push from a beaming Sara, the other two helped Hiei out of the back room, and out towards the kids.
"Oh, Wait!" called Sara. She disappeared for a moment into the storeroom, and emerged carrying a big shoebox. She grinned at Hiei.
Hiei didn't even bother to turn and look at her; he knew what was next. After all, he had seen the metal clown that sat on the bench outside. If they put those shoes on me, I swear to Yama I'll… But he knew he couldn't. Not now, anyways. Killing them all would only bring a worse punishment on him from Koenma. He gritted his teeth. Maybe not now… Later.
The girl ran over and set both huge red shoes in front of Hiei. "Ok, step on in! That's the last of it!" she said, grinning at him still.
Hiei stepped into the shoes, which swallowed his relatively small feet whole with plenty of room to spare. He knew walking in these would be very difficult. I swear I'll kill these baka ningens for this! And that damned fox… it's all his fault.
He had no more time to think, however, as he was pushed out into the dining room, and told to "go play with the kids." They looked up at him immediately as he walked in. "Ronald McDonald!" they screamed. Then they all ran up and hugged him, and pulled at him, and yelled excitedly for him to play with them. He heard one of the mothers comment that the usual Ronald was a lot taller, and that she'd never seen someone so short playing the part. He had to hold himself back so as not to injure someone.
"Play with us, Ronald, play with us!" they screeched at him as they tugged on his arms and legs.
Die.
Scene 3: Final Arrival
The sounds of excited children could be heard clearly even outside of the McDonald's building. Botan chuckled as she and Kurama walked side-by-side across the parking lot and towards the entrance. "Sounds like a party in there, I bet our Hiei's having lots of fun!" she giggled as she spoke, seeming very amused at the thought of Hiei anywhere near children.
Kurama sighed slightly. "Yes, fun. Either that or he's plotting a way to kill them all…" he said with a chuckle.
The fox had no idea just how right he was.
They walked up to the door, but just as Kurama reached out his hand to grasp the bar and open it, he felt a familiar pressure on his mind. "If you value your life, kitsune, you will not open that door," said a clear, booming voice inside Kurama's head.
The redheaded fox's eyes widened, but, curiosity getting the better of him – besides the fact that he never listens to Hiei anyway – he just smiled to himself, and opened the door, holding it there to allow Botan to enter first.
"Why thank you, Kurama, you are always such a gentleman!" she said, smiling up at him as she walked inside. Had she walked any slower, she would have caught his slight blush as he smiled in return.
They walked in to the restaurant, looking back behind the counter for Hiei. While they waited for him to come out and take their order, they heard screams and shouts again from another room down a small hall further in the building. Kurama raised an eyebrow. I wonder what's going on… He couldn't see a single employee anywhere in the kitchen or around the dining area in their view.
"Where IS everyone?" Botan asked, looking rather perplexed. Indeed, there wasn't anyone in sight even when they checked outside.
Kurama started down the hallway, toward the screaming and excited yelling that seemed to increase in volume, more than simply because they were moving closer.
"If either one of you comes any closer, I shall enjoy maiming you to the point of death… or worse."
Botan giggled. Sure, the voice had Hiei's usual menacing tone, but she could detect a touch of desperation behind the words.
Kurama smiled, as he had perceived it was well. He approached the door to the party area. "Shall we?" he asked, gesturing towards it. He opened it when Botan nodded, and again held it for her to go through before him. He then followed her through and into the room.
What they saw inside shocked both of them beyond words. Not only was there the disturbing pandemonium that only a large party of children can truly bring into existence, but, in the middle of it all, was Hiei…dressed up as the red haired clown. He was surrounded by young children, and forced to entertain them.
Botan burst into giggles. "Oh my goodness!" she managed to squeak out through her laughter. She watched as Hiei made faces at the children, throwing in a death glare at her and Kurama for not heeding his threats. He looked helplessly homicidal.
Kurama hid a smile and chuckled. "Well, I suppose he IS having fun then," he said as he and Botan sat down to enjoy the needless torture of the fire demon.
Hiei was nearly unrecognizable with white paint on his face and neck, red paint around his eyes, nose, and mouth, big red shoes, and the yellow and red Ronald costume. A couple tell-tale signs were the few spikes of black hair stubbornly stabbing through the red wig, and the white cloth on his forehead that he no doubt had refused to take off. Rightfully so, as a clown with three eyes is not a typical sight.
Hiei looked at Kurama, his Jagan glowing a soft purple glow under the cloth. "You will pay dearly for this, fox."
The redhead simply smiled at him and responded in thought, "Behave, Hiei… Play with the children now, exact vengeance later."
At first, Hiei growled at the kitsune telepathically and fixed him with a glare. Then, as if finally hearing Kurama's words, he smirked evilly and turned back to the kids. The third eye still glowing, Hiei began to 'play' with the children in front of him…
Suddenly, one of the children turned and slapped the child standing next to him. That child, instead of crying, turned and started hitting him back. Soon the entire huddle of children was fighting amongst itself.
The children in the ball pit began using the plastic balls as weapons of destruction, not only flinging the orbs at each other and the kids around "Ronald McHiei," but at parents, employees, and random people's drinks and food on the tables; thus creating quite a mess of chaos.
Surprisingly enough, every adult in the room seemed to be finding this a perfectly normal sight, for some were even laughing and chatting on about "kids will be kids" and how adorable their child was being… Even when that very same child threw a ball directly at the parent's drink with remarkable accuracy, causing it to explode all over the poor adult's clothes, there was no reaction.
With all the sodas, burgers and fries being flung into the air by plastic ammunition from 'the ball pit warriors,' as they now called themselves, a mass food fight erupted throughout the room. The only one untouched by all the insanity was Hiei, who stood in the middle, Jagan glowing, looking extremely proud of himself, a smug smirk on his face.
When his co-workers finally started trying to calm everyone down, Hiei took the opportunity to remove his clown costume, while keeping enough concentration, naturally, to continue making everyone in the room go insane. Everyone, that is, except for Kurama and Botan. He left them to watch it all… and be hit by the children who were madly flinging food everywhere.
Luckily being at the end of his shift anyway, Hiei's absence from the building as he slipped out went unnoticed, and without threat of reprimanding. After he had successfully made his escape, he let his mind control on the party drop, and snickered to himself as he watched them through the Jagan. Yes, Kurama, he thought as he took off away from town. Vengeance will come later…
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A/N: I know, a MONTH before I got it done, and I just finished hours before posting it… I'm sorry! It's been insane. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed Hiei's torture, I know I did! Please review and tell me what you thought, of course… See you next chapter!!
-Draith
