Chapter 5: Lost Love
Disclaimer: I DO! I seriously do. I bought it last night. Actually, no, I didn't...
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You've probably already fallen in love
You're probably laughing together
And I've lost
I don't know me,
I never used to see,
The good things in front me.
I then opened my eyes
When you smiled
It seemed all worthwhile.
Now you're in love
With someone different
Someone better.
People say,
When you love someone,
You want the best
You want them to have fun.
But I can't bring myself to praise,
The happiness that you have.
You're probably thinking I'm weird.
And that it seems too much to understand.
I'm so sorry
If I cause you grief
I'm so sorry
If I cause you to cry
Be happy;
I'm the one who missed my chance since
You've probably already fallen in love.
Long, evil poem. Doesn't even rhyme right. I don't want to work on it though. I've been working on a lot of poems today and I don't want to fix this. Maybe I should just give it to Sam in person.
No, no. I'll put it in her locker, like I always do.
After I hear the news.
I don't want to hear the awful news though.
It'll break my heart.
But I'll have to hear someday. And oh, the phone's ringing. I'll have to hear right now I suppose.
Picking it up, I felt the fate I've always knew would happen become reality. "H'lo?"
"Tucker!" I heard Sam's voice, huffing and puffing, like she couldn't breathe. "Is that you?"
"Yes...what's up Sam?" I asked her.
There was a pause. "He told me. Danny did. But you already knew that didn't you?"
I opened my mouth, but not words came out. I stopped, pausing for a moment, trying to think of the words, and stated, "Yes. Yes, I did."
"Knew it." I heard her mutter.
"Are you guys lovebirds now?" There was a touch of sarcasm and joking in there. Like old times. Sam obviously didn't get it.
"I guess. I mean, he gave me the poem. Which you wrote."
"Obviously."
"And he said he liked me. A lot."
"Obviously."
"But he's not my secret admirer is he? I asked him about all the other poems, if he paid you to write them, and he was clueless." Sam told me. "Tucker, you're not my secret admirer, but those poems are yours."
Maybe Sam isn't that clueless. Well, she is actually. She still didn't get that it was me, sending her all the poems. "Maybe."
"So, who paid you to write those poems?"
I decided to play along. "Sworn to secrecy, my pet."
"What the--?! I demand you tell me Tucker. Now!"
"Are you and Danny together now?" I asked, oh-so innocent.
I could tell she was blushing, bright pink, embarrassed. "Well. I. . ."
"Yes or no, Sam!" I ordered, getting impatient.
"Yes. We are. You happy? But Danny and I both noticed that you're acting strange..."
I didn't let her finish her dumb sentence. I hung up the phone. Danny and Sam. Perfect. Just perfect.
I took my CD player and blasted music out of my headphones so I wouldn't hear the phone ringing. I took out my notepad and started writing.
I've broken my arm,
I've injured my foot,
But you're broken my heart,
And it doesn't feel that good.
No inspiration is good. You can write whatever and when someone tells you, "These poems stink!" You can say, "I had no inspiration." And they will understand.
Well, sort of. Sometimes they get all pissed and scream, "DUDE! I paid for this junk!" Then you have to give back their money.
But, hey, it's not all bad. Sometimes they feel sorry for you and give you extra money. Happens often. Usually people just grin and bear with it, like they understand not having anything to write about.
Have they experienced not having anything to live for? Do they understand broken hearts? I snickered. It seemed doubtful. Something like that doesn't happen to the happy-go-lucky people of Casper High.
It only happens to 'Tech Junkies', or just flat-out nerds.
And that, I thought, releasing a sigh, is me.
I'm a Techie
A nerd
A loser
A idiot
A drip
A dweeb
A dork
A geek
A total freak!
Is that why no one's in love with me?
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Um, alrightie. Not that long, but...it's okay. Thanks to JadeRabbyt for helping me! It's not super long, no, but I think this is a nice length. If you don't think so, BITE ME!
Allie
