Three long days had passed since Sirius decided to play the fool and for only the second time in his life James questioned his loyalty towards his best friend. James hated the feeling, torn between his partner in crime for six of the best years in his life and his future wife. A girl he had only got to know in the past couple of weeks and yet one that he knew for certain would feature prevalently in his life.

But Sirius had always been there, he was a constant feature in a less-than-boring school life. The pair gave as much as they got, Sirius had saved James' neck just as many times as the opposite had been true. His honouree brother would always be by his side, and his small glimpse into the future had proven that. As much as he hated to admit it James' couldn't swear down that he would give up what Sirius had given up, all for his best friend. If he hadn't have swapped secret keeper, if he hadn't have gone looking for revenge, if he had have told. But he didn't. He gave up his life for his best friend, and then lost it for good to protect his offspring. That was a damn site more than friendship, it was true loyalty. When they first became animaguses, the four of them, they all wondered why it was that particular animal. James and Sirius were happy enough but Peter was less than amused with his small stature, although he soon forgot about that once he had the job to get them into the whomping willow. Peter was a rat, and with hindsight that one was self-explanatory; James was a stag standing tall and proud – maybe a little too proud at this moment in time but Sirius was a dog. A man's best friend, the most loyal of creatures and it shined through so clearly, like a lighthouse on a very foggy day.

And yet James currently doubted it all for Lily Evans, the stuck up know-it-all who had made it crystal clear what she thought of pranks and disruption from day one. The same Lily Evans who hadn't even bothered to say "Hello" when they passed on the draughty Hogwort's corridors for over 5 solid years.

But despite all of that it didn't alter the fact that at this moment in time James was staring into the mirror of the boy's bathroom wondering just how much he had screwed up his life. Things had come full circle; he was back to where it started physically, back in the boys dorms of Gryffindor tower, and more importantly regarding Lily. He had returned to his previous friendship with Sirius as if he had never accused him of his own murder. Lily wouldn't spare him a second glance and he didn't have a clue what was going on. The whole situation was going around in ever decreasing circles.

Lily refused to even make eye contact now with James, in her opinion he had shown exactly where his loyalties lay. The room would suffer a definite drop in temperature when the pair where near each other and some of the evil which were shot the way of the Marauders would probably have resulted in them being six feet under.

What made it worse was that Lily's animosity only covered the four marauders, she had quickly and correctly deduced that the trio would have had nothing to do with it and unfortunately for them they were now official go betweens for the warring fractions.

James couldn't help but admit it must be hard for them, especially Harry. For him it would probably be like being caught in the middle of a divorce with teenage hormones. Throw in a son the same age of them into the equation and you had the current situation but the fact remained, James was still a school pupil, he had neither the experience nor the maturity to be forced into playing happy families. OK, so it was no one's fault apart from their beloved Snape but it was hard for everyone; not just those who weren't scheduled to be born for another four years.

Splashing ice cold water onto his face James decided to make a resolution, he would collar Lily and tell her straight. The stinging pain of the ice cold water (now running from the tap for a good five minutes) slapping against his cheeks somehow had brought him back to his senses. He wasn't exactly the soppy type but he must have fallen for her, there was no other excuse for it. Here he was staring at the mirror as if it would tell him the answers to his thoughts. OK, maybe that wasn't too unusual in the magical corridors of Hogworts but still, 3 days brooding. It had to be a record.

As if this epiphany couldn't be put on hold James rushed to get changed, throwing on a random assortment of clothes with only limited success. If James had thought about it would have probably have been a better idea to look nice when trying to proclaim your undying love for someone, well at least that you had a distinct crush. Running down the stairs, shoelaces untied and a total bed head along with soiled t shirt and tatty trollies James rushed to the library, always a fair bet on where to find Lily. Even if she wasn't there he might have been able to get some information from Hermione. Really she should just put her bed in the library and live there, Hermione appeared to be one of these people who didn't need sustenance or sunlight but a healthy chunk of yellowed parchment would suit her well.

Panting and out of breath, almost bent doubled with the stitch in his side James worked his way through the book stacks, peering through the gaps in the dusty volumes for a glimpse of red hair. It was through the gap in the bookshelves between "Mist mag tristle – Pharmacology; The muggles potions" and "Misty tales of muggle theology" that James saw Miss Evans.

He automatically felt sick, the confidence which usually oozed from him appeared to have chosen the worst time possible to desert him, there was an unpleasant throbbing in his throat and he felt a sudden desire to go to the lavatory. James was scared – petrified in fact. The odd thing about the recent evens was most of them where so big they had a surreal quality, you could almost dismiss them as flights of fancy but this was most definitely real. This was a part of everyday life James knew, even though he can't remember the last time having the desire to ask someone on a date and actually mean it, actually want that persons company and not just to exchange bodily fluids.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring the fact the room was spinning around him James made his way to the table Lily was sitting at and sat opposite her.

Her head was lowered into a book, she probably knew it was him as she made no attempt to engage eye contact or remove her sprawled out books and stationary which covered the desk. For the past three days Lily had avoided all contact with James, if they would pass each other no acknowledgement was made of his presence. To James this was harder than if she had just spat in his face. At least that way he would have got some reaction from her.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" James asked tentatively, noticing all too well that it was too late, he was already seated.

Lily just shrugged and mumbled something that sounded like "free country" under her breath, she still didn't lift her head up for the book and her bright red hair totally obscured her face.

"I'm sorry" James said, words alien to his lips, "It was just a joke and Sirius – well, he's been through a lot for me."

Eventually Lily looked up, her eyes where red with big black bags forming underneath them, she obviously hadn't been sleeping. She was blinking rapidly and her skin was so pale she looked anaemic. Deciding that starting a conversation with "Shit, you look awful" was probably a bad move James ignored Lily's somewhat dishevelled appearance.

"Lily..." James started but he was promptly interrupted.

"You shouldn't have done that, but I spoke to Gander and I'm doing an essay to replace it." Lily said, suddenly everything coming apparent on the lack of sleep front. She had obviously been set it already and was trying to do a good job on it.

"So, are we straight?" James asked, the invisible hand around his throat loosening its grip somewhat.

Lily broke eye contact immediately and started laughing, not in a humorous way but in a slightly hysterical manner. The type of laughter that suggested the individual concerned was thoroughly pissed off with the situation.

"You really don't get it, do you Potter?" She said, each word said as if it had been laced with bitter lemon.

"Sorry?" James asked bemused, his spirits noticeably sunk as Lily resorted back to last-name terms. He felt as if someone had just elbowed him in the stomach, worse than if he made a stupid mistake which resulted in the Slytherins getting an easy goal in quidditch or a prank in which someone unintentionally got hurt. It was that feeling of your stomach shaking hands with your Adam's apple. The feeling of sickness and dizziness, which may accompany delayed concussion.

"I said you don't get it. We most certainly are not straight." Lily repeated annoyance and anger coming through in her voice. "You can't take anything seriously can you? Nothing is sacred? You just blew 30 of our year marks, you set a bad example for OUR child, you could have seriously hurt someone but you don't care, because covering up for your best mate means more to you than that. Face it, the most important thing in your life is self-preservation. You don't give a shit about anyone else, do you?"

James was flummoxed, he wouldn't deny that self-preservation was in fact one of his highest priorities. Friendship meant everything to him and to be honest he found it quite unbelievably selfish that Lily had basically given him the choice between the marauders and her. He was getting angry, he didn't care if he never saw Miss Evans again in his life, and he had just opened his mouth to say this when he found himself somewhere else completely. Sat next to Ron and Hermione in the great hall. The first noticeable swap for some time had just occurred and it was possibly the worst possible moment for it. James didn't care particularly, at least it saved him from him and Lily descending into a blatant row. For the time being he would just sit here and watch the world go by, hoping that Ron and Hermione weren't paying too much attention to their best friend's appearance.


Hello there!

Seeing that people seemed surprised that houses exist I went on the internet and tried to find some pictures of our houses from high school. The only decent one I found was this one (cp into your browser), http:www.woodhey.bury.sch.uk/html/curric/pe/sd99/008.jpg Grant and their head of house, also my English teacher for four years and quite possibly the reason my writing is so warped. (Mr Brooke, you rock.)

And the teacher on the left is Mrs Gander (no prises for guessing which character I've based on her.) http:www.woodhey.bury.sch.uk/html/curric/pe/sd99/007.jpg In my honest opinion all maths teachers should be kept behind wire mesh at all times.

And just for you scared-of mime here are the lyrics of three lions 98, this got released after football came home, but someone parked an Audi over the driveway. (I've cut out the repeats to make it smaller)

(The crosses of St George are flying all around me)
(Gareth Southgate the whole of England is with you)
(Oh it's saved, saved, saved)

We still believe (x4)

It's coming home
It's coming home
It's coming
Football's coming home

Tears for heroes dressed in grey
No plans for final day
Stay in bed, drift away

It could have been all
Songs in the street
It was nearly complete
It was nearly so sweet
And now I'm singing

Three lions on a shirt
Jules Rimet still gleaming
No more years of hurt
No more need for dreaming

Talk about football coming home
And then one night in Rome
We were strong, we had grown
And now I see Ince ready for war
Gazza good as before
Shearer certain to score
And Psycho screaming

(Beautiful football by England, Gazza oh that is majestic, Alan Shearer, Italy nil England nil and we're there in France 1998)

We can dance Nobby's dance
We could dance it in France