"Loved and Lost"

by darthelwig

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I do not own Saiyuki. This story is rated T. SLASH WARNING.

Sanzo left him but Goku doesn't understand why.

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"Stop it," Sanzo had told him. "Stop doing this."

He hadn't understood what Sanzo was saying to him. Not then. He thought perhaps he grasped it more clearly now, but how could he be sure? Sanzo wasn't here to tell him if he was right or wrong.

"Don't be an idiot."

He couldn't seem to help it, could he? And now Sanzo was gone- out of his life for good this time and he had no one to blame but himself.

"Why are you acting this way?"

He'd tried so hard to please Sanzo. He'd done everything he could think of to make Sanzo happy, but in the end it hadn't been enough.

"This isn't why I'm here."

Or had it been too much? Was that what Sanzo had tried to tell him? Had he tried too hard to be someone that Sanzo could want in his life? He'd only wanted to be less annoying, less of a burden to the man he loved.

"You've changed."

Was that why Sanzo left him? Had molding himself into someone more fitting for Sanzo made them incompatible? Had he been that stupid? What hadn't he seen?

"I'm done with you."

Now Sanzo was gone and he was left with nothing but bitter regrets and a world full of darkness without his sun.

"Be happy."

And he cried.