"Well, that was fun." A few seconds passed, then House shifted on his cane and started back towards his office. He entered his office, which was now vacant of all heart wrenching sniffling and giggling, and plopped down in the chair behind his desk.
Nothing on TV for another three hours, no interesting patients, and he didn't even want to consider clinic duty. In the middle of these silent remonstrations his eyes happened upon the center of his desk, where he found a conspicuously placed crossword puzzle. The New York Times crossword puzzle, no less. House smiled amusedly as he picked up the paper. "Good old Dr. Chase." Mumbled House as he shook his head. He tilted his head towards the ceiling and sighed in resignation. He opened his desk drawer, took out a pencil and set to work on the crossword puzzle. One across, scientific name for cannibalism, 13 letters? Good lord, a fool could do this crossword! He was about to write in 'anthropophagy' when a knock came at his door. "Speaking of cannibalism…" He muttered to himself irritably before looking up to find Dr. Foreman at the door. House shot Foreman a dirty look, Foreman shot House one of his own and House motioned for him to enter.
"Dr. House, I need a consult." Said Foreman quickly, obviously in a hurry to cure whatever patient he happened to be treating.
"Well of course you do," Replied House slowly and calmly. "I'll be right with you. I just started The New York Times crossword puzzle and I'd like to finish it before I dedicate my attention to your dilemma." He was teasing Foreman for his urgency. Foreman fidgeted impatiently and frowned.
"Dr. House, I…"
"Do you know the scientific name for cannibalism?" House interrupted.
"What? No!" Foreman was both confused and incredulous.
"13 letters. Whatever could it be? I'm stumped, I'll be at this one all day." House gazed at Foreman and sighed complacently.
"Dr. House, this is important."
"Yes, yes, of course it is. You wouldn't bother me for something simple and trivial, now would you?" Foreman could almost see the sarcasm dripping from his mouth. Both House and Foreman knew that several doctors brought seemingly impossible cases to House every day, Foreman included, and most of them turned out to be ridiculously simple. Foreman sighed.
"House, I don't have time to listen to your jokes. You're bored, I can see that. Are you going to give me a consult or not?" House sat with a ridiculous grin on his face, gazing at Foreman for another few seconds and then he looked back down at the crossword puzzle with mock confusion on his face.
"13 letters!" He wondered out loud. Foreman finally had enough. He slammed the case file on House's desk, backed up, crossed his arms and glared at House. House smiled wickedly and picked up the case file to read it. Foreman waited, face frozen in frustration. House read the file and looked up at Foreman with an irritated look on his face. Foreman uncrossed his arms and sighed, knowing the answer was ridiculously simple, as usual. "14 year old female, frequent nose bleeds and headaches, severe abdominal cramps and changed eating habits…you must be joking."
"Hey, no one thing accounts for all these symptoms!" Cried Foreman as he threw up his hands defensively. House shook his head in disappointment.
"Exactly, its not one thing. Check her nose, I guarantee it's broken, which would account for the nose bleeds and headache. As for the abdominal cramps, she's just been taking too many painkillers. Too many painkillers for the headache leads to abdominal pain, which leads to more painkillers. It's a vicious cycle." House leaned back in his chair and threw the case file back on the desk. Foreman picked it up and headed silently towards the door. "Next time you need a consult, I suggest you find Dr. Chase. He could have diagnosed that with his eyes closed." Foreman didn't turn around, but the way he threw back the door and stalked away was satisfaction enough for Dr. House. He turned his attention away from the door and back to the crossword puzzle. "Anthropophagy…"
