Good Luck & Godspeed


Part 3

We got to the infirmary and saw Sam being checked out by the doctor. Janet tried to look over his shoulder but couldn't. I rolled my eyes and picked her up from the waist so that she could see what he was writing onto Sam's chart.

Janet read and made comments out loud. She asked me to put her down, that she had read enough and turned to me and said I must have really enjoyed picking her up like some rag doll, and if I ever referred to this she would make me pay with needles that would make even Teal'c cry.

I coughed and said not a word would pass my lips and who would believe me? I asked what the doctor had written on Sam's chart.

"She's exhausted and her body is shutting down on her. She hasn't eaten and they're keeping her hooked up to an IV for the night since she's dehydrated. He's treating her all wrong there's other ways. God Jack where did you guys get this doctor?"

I walked over to Sam's side. She was turned towards the wall and was pretending to be asleep. I wanted to touch her and to reassure her that I was here when I heard a sniff.

I pulled back my hand. She was crying. It broke my heart to know she was in so much pain. Janet came next to me and said to give her a minute she would be asleep and it would be easier to try and communicate with her then.

Daniel and Teal'c came into the room and asked the doctor what was wrong with Sam. He told them exhaustion and lack of eating. He said that he had warned all of them that he would not be responsible if they collapsed after he had told them all to go home and rest.

He said he needed to update General Hammond and he would probably order her home.

Daniel agreed that would be a good ideal as did Teal'c.

I shook my head didn't they know she was avoiding going home?

Didn't they see she was crying out for help? Were they so blinded by what was in front of them or were they afraid she would not like them interfering with her life?

I clenched my fist and fought to let out the curses that were threatening to come out of my mouth.

I needed to get back, if she was sent home he would be there. There would be no one to stand up for her. He would hurt her with his words and from what I had witnessed he might step over the line and hurt her physically. No she would not have to deal with that jerk anymore.

Janet saw the turmoil in my face and I voiced my thoughts. I told her there was no way in hell I would let her go back to him. He didn't deserve her and as soon as I got back I would be paying Mr. Shanahan a visit.

She agreed and we waited for the doctor to leave. I looked at Sam and could see she was finally asleep.

Daniel had decided to stay, Teal'c promised to relieve him in a while and left. He took her hand and spoke.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I should have seen you killing yourself to find the answers to that chamber, its killing me that I can't find the translation that will set him free. But I was so blind to what this was doing to you. Jack would kill me if he saw how bad of a shape you are in. Please Sam I need you to be okay I can't lose you too."

I dragged my hand across my face. I didn't know why I thought I was not needed. There was my proof in front of my face. I would not fail them.

I stood back and watched them. Daniel started to nod off but still held onto Sam's hand.

I told Janet I was ready to try again. I needed to do this I needed to save my family.

She took my hand and placed it on Sam's forehead. She told me to concentrate and close my eyes. I did this and felt Sam all around me. I was in her subconscious; I could hear her breathing and the beat of her heart.

I opened my eyes and I was by a lake. I closed my eyes and opened them again and I heard a gasp. I turned around and found Sam standing in front of me.

She covered her mouth with her hand. I just stood and looked at her. She started to reach out to me but was hesitant and spoke instead.

"Are you real? Is it truly you? Am I dead?"

I reached out and took her hand. She let out a cry and threw herself at me and held onto me as she cried.

I held her tightly. Loving the way she felt in my arms. I could stay like this forever. She was mumbling and I pulled her face to me and she smiled.

"I've missed you so much. I thought I'd never see you again. You don't know the pain I've been through but now you're here and it's all going to get better. Jack is it really you?"

I said it was me. I asked her did she know where we were at. She looked around and said at my cabin.

I nodded my head no that this wasn't my cabin. She said this was how she had imagined it was and it all became clear to me. This was what was in her mind we were both connected through her sub consciousness.

"Sam did you see me in the gate room," I asked.

She looked at me and nodded no.

"I felt you there I caught a whiff of your aftershave. I was so distracted by this I thought I was finally losing my grasp with reality. But I did see you in the infirmary you were in pain that's why I called out your name and then you left me. I thought it was my imagination. It is you Jack right? Please tell me I'm not losing my mind."

I cupped her face and told her no that it was me, and I was here for her. She pulled me close to her and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I need your help Sam. I need you to help me get out of stasis. I don't know how much time I have, but Janet told me I have the answers in my head on how to get out of this mess."

"Janet? Is she with you? Is she all right? Did she ascend?" She started to ask me and I was about to answer her when she jerked and whispered no.

She started to fade. I grabbed her hand and heard her cry out my name and in a flash I was back in the infirmary with Janet holding onto me.

I looked to the bed to see Sam being woken up by Daniel. The connection was broken when she woke.

"Doc what happen? I was talking to her I was holding her and the next thing I knew she was fading away and was gone."

"Her heart rate started to increase and she started to thrash in the bed. The alarms went off; Daniel panicked and tried to wake her up. What did she say does she believe you're real?"

"Yeah she believes me. She felt me in the gate room and she saw me here in the infirmary. I didn't get a chance to ask her how she can help me get the information I need to get out of stasis."

The doctor walked in and started to examine Sam. I walked over and heard her cry out my name and not to leave her to please comeback. Daniel was trying to calm her down but she was getting more agitated. She woke up and looked all around the room she yanked off the IV and the heart monitor. She jumped off the bed and started to call out my name.

They tried to restrain her but she fought them saying over and over that I was there she could feel me and why couldn't they.

Daniel asked what was wrong with her, and the Doctor pulled out a syringe and said the exhaustion was making her imagine that I was here and if they didn't sedate her she could do herself more harm.

She ran up to Daniel and asked if he believed her. That I was here and all he had to do was open his mind and I would come to him.

Daniel pulled her into his arms and nodded at the doctor. He gave her the sedative and she started to fall and the last words out of her mouth were my name and pleading me to take her with me.

I watch them put her back into bed and put her in restraints. Daniel asked if that was necessary and the doctor said yes. She could become violent when she started to suspect that they did not believe her that I was real and she might try and run.

They thought she was crazy and it was my fault. Janet came next to me and said it was going to be okay. We'd get through to them. Sam would wake up and tell them how to save me. I snorted and asked how.

"They think she's a crack pot talking to an imaginary colonel come on doc you'd be sending her to a padded cell by now and you know her. This new guy doesn't and I bet my yo-yo that he's going to have her shipped out of here so fast she won't be able to help me get back to her. She needs me doc. Hell I need her she's the only thing worth anything in my life and now I've made it worse, they think she's gone off the deep end."

Janet put her hands on her waist and grunted in disgust.

"No, don't talk like that we will get through to them we will make them see the truth. Nothing is taken lightly here you know that if she says she sees you they will believe her. She just has to show them something to validate what she is saying. Come on Jack concentrate, her safety is in your hands and if you can't find a way to wake up in that head of yours then you're right they will take her away and lock her up and chalk it up to stress in losing a very close friend. Do you want that to happen to her? It's all up to you, your fate and the fate of your family is in your hands."

She was right. I had to put my doubts aside and really look into myself. What I didn't tell her was that I was scared what I would find. The knowledge of the Ancients was overwhelming and it had almost killed me. It took over me in the ship and one thing I hate is not being in control. It was almost like being taken over by a gou'ald. Helpless and you can do nothing but stand off to the side and watch your self function.

I looked at Daniel sitting next to Sam. He had tears in his eyes and held her hand and whispered that he did believe her, that if she said I was here then I was. He would not let the doctor take her from him. He pleaded for me to come to him so he could help in getting me back to them.

Janet tried to hold back her tears but couldn't. I put my arm around her shoulder and she cried. I comforted her knowing this was just as painful to her as it was to me.

"You see why you have to go back. I can't, God I wish that I could but can't. But you can. Come on Jack our family needs you."

Why couldn't she just show herself to him?

"You can't let him know you're here Doc? He was so lost when you died. He wouldn't admit how he felt but I really think he loved you."

"We did love each other I just never told him. We started to see each other but stopped when Sarah was brought to the infirmary after having Osiris taken from her. He said she needed him and felt it was his fault for involving her in this, that if he never had asked for her help then she would never have been taken over as a host.

"We stopped seeing each other after that and I tried to move on but knew I couldn't. I was thinking of leaving, going to go work at the Academy Hospital but he came to me and asked if we could try again. We were going to go out the night I was killed. He said he had something important to tell me."

I gave her a squeeze as we watched the two people we cared for in front of us in pain.

I told her I was sorry she didn't get a chance at happiness with Daniel. They both deserved to be happy but now it was too late.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and said "it might be too late for me and Daniel but not for you and Sam. Come one lets get you back home so you two can be together."

I gave her a kiss on her cheek and said yes ma'am.

She pulled me to the bed and we could see Sam was sleeping. I placed my hand on her forehead and waited.

We were by the lake again but I could not feel her. I opened my eyes and looked for her. She was sitting by the lake with a fishing pole. I went to her and towered over her.

She looked up and smiled.

"I knew you'd come back to me. Come sit next to me Jack. You take over the fishing and I'll rest. We can catch up on what you've missed at the base and you can tell me what Janet's been up too."

As tempting as it sound I knew I couldn't do that. I shook my head no and she asked why I sat down and pulled her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my chest.

"Sam I still need you to help me get back. We have to make them believe that you are not crazy that you have spoken to me and to let you go to Antarctica to work on getting me out."

She shook her head.

"How am I going to convince them you're real? They think I'm crazy that I can see you but they can't its hopeless Jack. I don't want to wake up anymore I want to stay here with you were its safe. You'll keep me safe. You'd never hurt me so I have no reason to wake up any longer I have everything I want here."

She sound so tired and I just squeezed her tighter. I didn't want her to be hurt any more; she had been put through a lot since I've been gone. With trying to contact the Tok'ra and Asguard and having everyone expecting her to find a solution to getting me out of the deep freeze it was a pressure she could do without. We always looked to her for answers, it was what she did fix our problems, but we never realize the toll it took on her. We expect her to always come through and pull ideas out of her butt.

I lifted her chin and smiled.

"I know it's been hard on you these last couple of months. It will get better you do believe me right? You're my only hope of getting out of this mess and back to you and everyone else. I can't do this alone Sam, you're going to have to help me."

She nodded and closed her eyes. She held back a sob; I cupped her face and asked her what was wrong. She tried to pull away but I held her still. I pulled up her face and she opened her eyes and spoke.

"Did you know I wanted to tell you that I loved you when I came to your house? I was so nervous but I knew it was right I needed you to know what was in my heart. I never got a chance to tell you and in the ship you didn't give me a chance either. I was going to tell you I was going to break it off with Pete and if you and I could try for happiness? It's all I ever wanted Jack to be happy and you make me happy."

She was telling me what was in my heart. I pulled her to me and kissed her. She pulled away and had a surprised look on her face and put her fingers to her lips.

"Wow I always wondered what kissing you would be like but its wrong. No not wrong but the rules and regulations the Air Force you're my CO…"

I put my hand to her mouth and came close to her and whispered, "Did you forget I retired? On the ship remember when you were going to profess your love for me. I couldn't let you do it Sam it would have hurt too much to know you were within my reach and not be able to have you. I didn't know what was going to happen to me and I wanted you to be happy, and if I didn't make it I didn't want you to feel guilty for not saying it sooner. I love you too more then you'll ever know. You have made me complete Sam. I never thought I'd have a second chance at love but you've made that possible, thank you for loving an old goat like me."

She smiled.

"You're retired? I had forgotten. I put it in my report that you retired but the guys didn't. We can be together and not feel like we broke any rules and..."

She stopped and pulled me towards her and kissed me again and I didn't stop her it was something I wanted to remember for the rest of my life.

She pulled back and suppressed a yawn.

"Jack these drugs are dragging me down I want to help you please tell me what to do before I pass out. Please the faster I get you out of stasis the faster you'll be by my side again."

I sat her down and told her what Janet had told me that the answers were in my head. She said of course the Ancient knowledge would be able to set me free. I told her I didn't know how to access this knowledge. She said I had to.

"How are you speaking to me Jack right now? The last time you could only speak ancient remember? You found a way without even trying, you have all the answers in your head Janet is right."

I opened my mouth and closed it shut. She was right how did I communicate with her? She tapped my head and said the answer was there.

She asked me to concentrate and try to look into myself to see if I could try and find something pertaining to the chamber.

I tried to hide my fear and she took my hand and asked me what was wrong. I needed to be honest with her but how would she react if she knew I was scared? I always kept my fear hidden from my team not wanting them to sense this feeling; it would undermine their trust in me I always had to be confident.

I blurted out I didn't like accessing the ancient knowledge. I didn't like how it took over my brain and my body. It was like being possessed by a gou'ald. I whispered the last part.

"I'm here Jack, we're linked for some reason and I will not let you get taken from me again. I'll be here when you go on your quest and I'll be here when you wake. If it's too much for you come back don't play hero and we will try again. I knew that was hard for you to admit but I'm happy you felt you could trust me with this."

"Sam I trust you with my life and my heart. I know I can do this now knowing you'll be here when I comeback. You're the reason I'm still alive you are my life."

She kissed me gently and said to start she was fighting a losing battle with the drugs and she wanted to be here when I found out my solution.

I closed my eyes squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back. I needed to get this done. I had to find my answer and then come out of this. My life had been put on hold for too long and I was needed.

I was needed just thinking that made me smile. I had thought I would be better off as the human Popsicle but in reality they needed me as much as I needed them. I would right the wrong that had befallen my team.

I took a deep breath and started to concentrate. I started to repeat chamber over and over in my mind. My mind responded it came awake and I was taken back to Antarctica to the cavern.

I saw myself against the wall being examined by different scientist. My mind directed me to the opposite side of the wall. I reached out to it and a panel came out of the wall I turned to see if any one could see it. Dr. Lee walked right by me and did not acknowledge the panel. I looked at it and it the control panel was in ancient. I chuckled, it said off and on and a word I had deciphered as saying 'defrost'.

I had found my solution it had been in the cavern all this time I was as good as home and all I needed to do was get back to Sam to tell her the good news.

I started to leave but was stopped. The knowledge was becoming overwhelming I needed to get out before it over took me. I started to see images and writings and diagrams. I tried to stop it from over taking me but it held me in its grip. I was losing control. The darkness was consuming me. I reached out to try and lift myself out of the darkness. I started to thrash about. I was lost I had found my answer but would be too late to help myself.