While You Were...

Disclaimer: I own no one.

A/N- This story deals with the sensitive topic of miscarriage and pregnancy loss. Also, the match the mystery character is discussing is Wrestlemania 21 Triple H vs. Batista

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While you were nervous about your headlining match with Paul, I was scared out of my mind that I was losing our baby.

You had no control over my body's decision to miscarry. You couldn't have known. Hell, you didn't even realize I was pregnant. I had found out just that morning. I was angry with you because you couldn't be there with me.

You were at Wrestlemania, planning your match. I was in our living room, shaking violently, trying to convince myself all this blood was normal, even when I knew it wasn't and I knew what it meant.

While you were stretching, anxious to move in preperation for your match, I was curled in the fetal position, terrified that the slightest motion would quicken the death of our baby.

I wish you had known. I can't believe I was stupid enough not to tell you the second I had found out. I just wanted to surprise you.

While you were making your ring entrance to the sound of screaming fans, I was entering the emergency room, to the sound of frantic paramedics, worried I would bleed out in the ambulance.

The bright lights overhead, intense cramping, silently begging for you to come.

It's amazing. You were half way across the country and yet, you were experiancing identical pain. Your abdominal cramping coincided with mine, excluding the very different reasons.

While you were being methodically examined by millions of fans, I was being examined by doctors in my nether regions, searching for a way to stop the bleeding.

While you were being beaten up by someone you trusted, I was beating myself up for not realizing I was pregnant sooner.

While your arm was held up in victory, my head was down in a loser's stance.

While you jumped up the wrestling tier, I slid down the ladder of womanhood. You were happy. I was sad.

You always said you could feel what I feel. In the midst of your happiness, did you feel my sorrow? Did you feel my pain?

For you, Dave Bautista, things would never be the same. Fans, who had no clue who you were, knew you as the man who 'overthrew' Triple H.

For I, Lisa 'Ivory' Bautista, life changed forever.

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