Madam Pomfrey released Tamarisk from the infirmary the next morning after breakfast. The Gryffindor tower was nearly empty of students when she got back, a fact for which she was grateful. Her headache was gone, physically she was fine, but her mind was in turmoil.

Why had Severus kissed her? Did he like her? With most boys, that would seem the obvious answer, but with Severus, she wasn't sure. It wasn't just because he acted differently from other boys. It was also the way he'd done it. Suddenly, out of the blue, with no warning, his lips had been on her, his hands had been squeezing her shoulders so tightly like...

Like he owned her or something. Like she belonged to him.

Which was why she wasn't convinced that he'd done it because he'd liked her. He'd been her first friend, before Sirius had decided to butt into their conversation. Sirius was popular and charming--sort of--athletic and outgoing. Tamarisk and Sirius were in the same house. And, to be honest, Sirius was much better looking than Severus. It'd make sense for Tamarisk to like him.

And Severus did seem to expect her to stop being friends with him any day now. So, in some ways, the kiss didn't feel like a way for him to let her know he liked her; it made her feel like he'd been making sure that he'd kissed her before anyone else got a chance.

Shaking that uncomfortable thought aside, Tamarisk sat on her bed and grabbed her brush. She wasn't looking forward to the day. If Lily was right, then everyone thought she liked Sirius. And, even worse, both Sirius and Remus liked her. She didn't understand why they would, except the both thought she wanted to kiss them and she didn't.

Crystal was stupid, anyway, she thought furiously, brushing her hair more forcefully. It was all her fault. If she hadn't thought of the whole stupid kissing bet, none of this would have happened. And she still had a week and a half to get through before the bet was officially over.

The clock next to her bed chimed suddenly; when she glanced at it, she saw the hands pointing to Late for Charms. She sighed, dropped her brush, and grabbed her wand and books. With any luck, Professor Flitwick wouldn't get too angry; he was generally easy-going.

"Hi, Peter," she said on finding the other boy in the common room. "We're going to be late."

"I know." He was frantically digging through cushions on the floor, his face a mask of worry. "I've lost my wand."

Tamarisk glanced around the room. "When did you notice it was gone?"

"Just now."

"Did you have it at breakfast?"

Peter shrugged and ran his hands through his hair, making it stick straight up. "I don't think so."

Tamarisk bit her lip and glanced around. The other day, she'd come across a summoning charm while reading ahead in her charm book; she hadn't tried it yet, but Severus had told her that it was quite common and really very simple. But, then, Severus thought most things having to do with magic were simple, so he wasn't exactly a reliable person to ask. Still, chances were, if the other boys hadn't stolen Peter's wand as a joke, it was in the common room, which meant the charm should, probably, maybe, work.

Pulling her own wand from her pocket, Tamarisk took a deep breath and said, "Accio wand." She felt the tingling of magic travel through her body and, a moment later, the wand smacked her in the face.

Rubbing her eyes, she picked it off the floor. "Here."

"How did you do that?" Peter asked, wide-eyed.

"You mean you've never seen that charm before?"

"No, I have." He followed her out of the tower. "My mum uses it all the time. But I tried it the other day when James, Sirius, Remus and I were stealing Chocolate Frogs from the sixth years dormitory, and I was the only one who couldn't make them come." He frowned. "My dad said I'm like a Squib, only more useless."

"Squib?"

"A person who has wizard parents but can't do magic," Peter explained, beginning to huff. They were hurrying through the empty halls at top speed, and he was very out of shape.

"That's mean. And untrue."

Peter just shrugged like he didn't expect anything else from anyone.

"You're late," Professor Flitwick said when they burst into the classroom.

Face flushed, Peter looked down. "I'm sorry, Professor. I couldn't..."

"He was waiting for me," Tamarisk interrupted. If Peter confessed that he'd lost his wand, he'd get in trouble. Again, actually, since he'd done it a few weeks ago before Transfigurations and the entire class had received a long lecture from Professor McGonagall about the importance of a knowing where your wand was at all times. "I got back late from the hospital wing, and he waited to make sure I got here okay."

Professor Flitwick looked at her closely. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, yes. I'm feeling much better, thank you." But she smiled as weakly as she could and swayed lightly on her feet, just to make it seem as if she were merely putting on a brave front. It meant that she wouldn't be able to do flying practice that afternoon, most likely, but if it kept her and Peter from getting into trouble...

The professor believed her. He waved them onto their seats and went back to lecturing about drought charms.

Peter quickly took a seat near James and pulled his book from his bag. Tamarisk moved more slowly, hoping that she was missing an empty seat somewhere. Right now, the only open seat she saw was next to Remus, and she didn't want to sit there. Especially not with Remus looking right at her, his pale cheeks flushed slightly and an almost embarrassed smile on his face.

There were no open seats. And, worse, Remus pulled his bag off the seat next to him when she approach. It wasn't just an empty seat; it was an empty seat he'd saved for her.

Heart thundering in her chest, Tamarisk sat down. "Thanks," she said quietly. She opened her book and turned to drought charms, pretending to be immediately absorbed.

"You feeling better?" Remus whispered.

Tamarisk nodded and took out her quill.

"I saved you a seat."

"I know. Thanks." Dutifully, she began taking notes.

Remus frowned. "I saw you fall. I was worried. I wanted to visit you, but they wouldn't let me."

"It's all right. I mostly slept."

"Lily and Severus visited you."

She glanced at him. "And, except when they were there, I slept." She bent her head forward, allowing her hair to curtain her face so she couldn't see him anymore, ending the conversation.

Next class was History of Magic, and apparently it was Sirius's turn to sit next to her. Unlike Remus, who was polite and respectful, Sirius was... not. After she refused to respond to his taunts about the kissing bet, he took to poking her in the side with his wand, tugging her hair, and kicking her under the table.

He was such an annoying prat.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Tamarisk asked Lily as they went to lunch. "Sirius and Remus have been following me around all day."

Lily smiled. "I told you that they both liked you. They decided to see which one of them you liked better."

"Why?"

"I guess they want you to go steady with one of them or something. It's kind of sweet."

"But I don't like them. Either of them."

"Well, no one really believes that," she said, glancing over at Crystal. Crystal had been throwing Tamarisk dirty looks all day. "Especially since the whole chase thing."

"Remus wasn't even chasing me."

"No, but Sirius was."

She was so tired of all this. The boys were so annoying that Tamarisk was glad to miss flying practice after school. She went directly to the library and got all her homework done before dinner. When she met Severus after school, she had nothing to do except let him go over her work for errors.

"These are such idiotic mistakes," he said sourly. "What was in your head today, you stupid girl?"

"Nothing." She took her history essay back and read over his notes; he was right. She'd written over half the dates wrong and mispelled the simplest words.

"What on earth makes you think that a drought charm would be most useful in the desert?" He sounded aghast and made sweeping gesture over her scroll, marking the entire thing with red ink. "You'll have to do it all over again."

Tamarisk sighed. "Very well." But instead of getting back to work, she laid back on the heap of blankets they were sitting on and closed her eyes. Tears gathered in the back of her eyes, but she quashed them down as ruthlessly as she could; Severus hated tears.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." It sounded like a sob.

"Don't lie."

"You don't want to hear it anyway."

Severus, of course, was as logical as always. "If I didn't want to hear, I wouldn't have asked. What's the matter?"

She opened her eyes. "I miss my parents and Crystal hates me. Remus and Sirius think I like them, and they want to kiss me, and I don't want to kiss them. I'm so embarrassed about all of this, because I don't like them like that, and everyone thinks I do. I just want everyone to leave me alone, and..." She pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes.

"I don't understand why you're so upset. Just tell Sirius and Remus that you don't like them, and that will end the entire thing."

"No, it won't! And I can't do that."

"Why not?"

Tamarisk shrugged, dropping her hands. "Because... then they'll think I don't like them."

He looked utterly baffled. "But you don't."

"I know. But I mean, they'll think I really don't like them. At all. And I like Remus. He's nice. Although, I don't want him to like me. But I hate having other people think that I like them."

"Why?"

She opened her mouth to respond, but could think of nothing better than, "Because."

He snorted in disgust. "That's not a reason."

"Well. If people think I like them, especially the girls, then they won't like me, because they either want the boys to like them or they think boys are stupid." She sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears. "It's all very complicated."

"Do you even like Crystal?"

"Yes, of course." Then, when he gave her a piercing look, she blushed and said, "No, I don't. Not really."

"Then why do you care what she thinks about you?"

Good question. "Because... because it matters what people think about you."

"No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. They don't have any control over who you are or what you feel. I don't understand the need that people have to make people they don't like like them. It's stupid. If you want Crystal to like you, you really are stupid."

"I just don't want to be disliked," Tamarisk said softly. "When people don't like you, they're mean to you. They do things."

"And you're afraid of what they might do to you?" Severus sneered. "I thought you were a Gryffindor, but apparently you were missorted. I'm sure there's still a spot open for you in Hufflepuff."

"If you think I'm so stupid, why are you even here?" she shouted, anger overtaking her.

"I'm not sure. Obviously I'm wasting my time." He gathered his things and stuffed them into his bag. Before he left, though, he said, "People only have power over you if you let them. If you were smart, you wouldn't care what everyone thought, only the ones that you cared about."

"What do you know? You don't care what anyone thinks about you," Tamarisk said.

He shrugged. "There's only one person at school who's regard I truly care about. I'm fairly certain I have it, even though right now she's acting like an insufferable prat. I am quite satisfied with having one person I actually care about think well of me than a hundred I don't." With that, he turned and left the Owlery.

Tamarisk released a shaky breath when he was gone and hugged her arms over her stomach. "Oh," she breathed, flushed. So, he did care for her. At least, she was pretty sure that she was the prat he'd been talking about.

Considering how few people Severus liked, having his regard made her feel special. More special, in fact, than a hundred Sirius's liking her would ever make her feel.


Friday nights were Tamarisks least favorite night of the week. It was the only day that she and Severus didn't have a chance to see each other after supper. No matter how many times she told him that she wanted to meet him just like usual, he never showed up. They did weekend homework on Saturday afternoons, and on Sunday, they practiced charms or reviewed potions together. But on Friday, she was on her own.

The first Friday after the kissing bet was revealed was the most awkward thing she'd ever lived through. The first year boys all gathered against one side of the room, and the girls on the other. All the girls were sort of angry with one another for letting the secret get out, although Tamarisk didn't understand how any of them were supposed to get the boys to kiss them if they never let anyone know what was going on. Still, the anger and hurt feelings were there, especially among the girls who liked either Sirius or Remus. And, since those boys reportedly liked Tamarisk, none of them wanted to talk to her.

"You look horrible," Severus said the next morning when she met him by the lake.

"I didn't sleep much." She pulled a pastry from her pocket and took a bite. There was a gentle wind blowing, and it blew her hair over her eyes. Normally, she pulled it back into a braid, when she had time to braid it, but today, she was letting it loose. She was sleepy and lazy today, and all she wanted to do was soak up the last few warm rays of the sun before it got truly cold.

"Why not?" He frowned at her when she dropped to the ground, arms spread wide from her body, eyes closed.

Tamarisk sighed and wished she hadn't brought it up. Severus was the type of boy who always did what he was told as long as he thought it was best. The headmaster had told him to make her go to the hospital wing if she got another headache, and she had a feeling that Severus would follow that order.

"Do want the rest of my breakfast?" she offered, holding the pastry up.

He sat next to her and took it. "Are you still upset about Crystal?"

"No, not really. The girls who don't like Sirius and Remus aren't angry with me, so they're letting me hang around with them. Lily still talks to me, and if Crystal doesn't like me, oh well. I think she's an ugly witch either." Then she frowned. "Witch really isn't an insult here, is it?"

"Should it be?"

"It is where I'm from. Because witches are bad and worship the devil and everything. But, really, because the word witch sounds like another insult, so it tends to get thrown around instead." She opened her eyes and looked at him. "I guess I'll just have to call her a b-bitch then, huh?" A thrill went through her at the use of the forbidden word, and she thought about how if she'd been home, her parents would first give her a long lecture about calling names and then ground her. There were perks to being at school.

Severus nodded. "I agree. There's something very spiteful about that girl. I don't like the way she acts, like she owns everything she sees. Very Gryffindor behavior."

Tamarisk snorted. "If that were true, then Lucius Malfoy would be a Gryffindor."

"He's rich. The wealthy and Gryffindor believe the world belongs to them. It's something inborn in both."

Tamarisk rolled onto her stomach. "And Slytherins are the humblest creatures on earth," she said teasingly.

He simply inclined his head, acknowledging her point. "Why didn't you sleep well last night?" he asked after a moment.

She sighed and rested her cheek on her arms. "I couldn't get comfortable."

"You live in a tower like a princess. I can't imagine your house being uncomfortable, as the dungeons where I am are quite warm and the beds soft. You haven't had problems before. What changed last night?"

"You know, sometimes people just don't feel well," she said sharply. She lifted her head. "I had a headache."

"Did you go to the infirmary?"

"No, I didn't. I didn't want to. I'm fine now."

Severus frowned and picked at the pastry. "The headmaster said..."

"The headmaster is overreacting," she interrupted. "I've gotten headaches all my life and I'm fine. I'm fine now; it's gone. It would have been stupid to get all worked up over something that went away on it's own." Then, seeing that he was still pensive, she sighed and said, "Next time, I promise I'll go."

"Go where?" Remus asked.

Tamarisk stiffened. "Um, no where." She sat up and tucked her hair behind her ears. "What are you doing here?"

Remus sat next to Severus, smiling at him in a friendly way. "I saw the two of you sitting here alone, thought I'd say hi. Am I interrupting anything?"

"Not... really."

Severus was sitting stiffly now, the pastry gone. There were some flecks on his robes, and he brushed them away with sharp flicks of his wrist.

"It's a beautiful day." Remus tilted his head back towards the sun. "I don't think we're likely to see much more like these."

"Um. No."

Remus looked at her, and then Severus. "So, um, Sev. How's classes going?"

"Very well, thank you," Severus said, very formally. "And kindly do not call my Sev. I detest nicknames."

"Huh. I think Sev is a rather nice name to be shortened to. Sirius has started to call me Remy, which I'm not too fond of. But there's not much you can do with Remus."

"Re," Tamarisk suggested, pronouncing it like the Egyptian god.

Remus grinned. "That would make me sound rather full of myself, wouldn't it? No. I think I'm stuck with Remy until Sirius gets sick of it."

"You could try calling him Siri," Severus said quietly. "Turn the tables as it were."

"I could do that. Only Sirius would probably enjoy it. He likes to be an ass and he knows the best way to do that is not to let people bother him." He glanced at Tamarisk. "You should pretend to like being called Tammy. He'd probably stop calling you that."

Tamarisk glanced at Severus and said, "Well. I don't mind so much, exactly." She didn't love the nickname, but it was really Severus who seemed to take the greatest exception to it. "And I'm in the same boat as you, really. There's not much you can do with a stupid name like Tamarisk."

"I like your name. It has a certain..." Remus trailed off, eyes squinched in thought.

"Elegance," Severus supplied. "It's a very elegant name."

The other boy snapped his fingers and nodded. "Exactly. It's elegant. But if you want a nickname... You could go with, um, Tama. Or Mara."

"Mara?" Severus sneered. "That's not even in her name, not really."

"Well, she's got Ma," Remus said. "Only that's not a nickname; it's an American word for Mum. So, Mara's the closet thing."

"If you're going to make things up, you should at least choose something that has a nice meaning."

Remus frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Mara means bitter," Severus said slowly, as if it was an obvious fact that everyone was supposed to know. "Tamarisk is not a bitter person."

"All right." Remus looked amused. "So what do you suggest?"

"Boys, I don't need a nickname," Tamarisk said, but they weren't listening.

"What about Tamara?"

"Mara is bad, but sticking a t in front of it is fine. I see."

Severus frowned. "Very well. How about Marisa?"

"What?" Tamarisk exclaimed.

Remus, though, was nodding slowly. "I like it. Marisa. Yeah. That's a good name."

"It makes no sense!"

"It's got all the letters of your name in," Severus said.

"And it's beautiful." Remus smiled at her. "Like you."

Tamarisk felt her face catch fire. She looked away, tugging at her hair. "Thank you."

Next to her, Severus said nothing, but she could tell that he wasn't happy.

"Um, Tamarisk?" Remus said after a moment. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes." She pulled her knees to her chest, still not looking at him. "Are you angry with me?"

"No. Why?"

"Because you haven't talked to me all week. And I thought we were friends, so... I thought maybe I'd done something."

She sighed and pressed her forehead into his knees. "It's because... Because of the whole kissing thing."

"Do you still want to kiss me?"

"I never wanted to kiss you!" she exclaimed, lifting her head. "They were the ones who came up with all of that. Crystal was. She's the one who decided I should kiss you because she wanted to kiss Sirius and Lily wanted to kiss James. It was either you or Peter, and you're cuter, so they chose you, and I don't like you like that. I don't like anyone like that, and I don't want to kiss anyone on a bet. It's stupid. Only now everyone thinks that I like you or Sirius or both, and Crystal hates me and I don't know how to act anymore!"

Remus blinked at her when she was done. Running a hand through his hair, he said, "You don't have to kiss me, Tam. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Crystal's a stupid bint who is jealous because she's not as smart as you are and not half so good on a broom. That's all. Don't let her get to you. And don't let her make us not be friends. Okay?"

"Okay." She licked her lips. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. And don't worry about what those stupid girls think about you. They aren't worth it, right?"

She smiled at him. "Right."

Remus smiled brightly back at her, and then rose. "I'm going to go. We all going to try a game of Quidditch after lunch. Both of you are welcome to come, if you like."

"Thanks. Maybe."

Severus just raised an eyebrow at Remus and didn't reply.

"Well, I'll see you at lunch, then. Bye." Remus waved and ambled off.

Severus watched him go, head cocked and a contemplative look on his face.

"What?" Tamarisk asked.

He shook his head. "I think I like that boy," he said after a moment.

"Really?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure. But if he can get you to listen to reason, then maybe he isn't so bad. For a Gryffindor."