Again, I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews. My most entertaining by far has been from ljaddict: "I love you oO". Very original and very funny. Thanks for the laugh.

What had he been thinking? Trading Cuddy his iPod for clinic hours? That was the moment that House knew he was insane. He shrugged it off. Cuddy needed to loosen up a bit…well, a lot really. He supposed that a few clinic hours would be worth it to sneak up on Cuddy while she was in the throes of musical euphoria and scare the crap out of her. Yeah, that was definitely worth it. House picked up a file from the reception desk, looked it over and called out the corresponding name. "Erica Church." House looked up to see a young blonde woman rise out of the sea of sick people. "You're with me. Exam room one." She nodded slightly and followed him into the room. Usually he could feel patients staring at his cane or trying not to, but he didn't get that feeling from her. Interesting. They stepped in through the door and House motioned for the woman to sit on the exam table. She did. "So, how are you today?" He was terribly irritated and didn't bother to hide it.

"I'm alright, I guess." She answered politely. She had a nice voice, one that would instantly put a person at ease if her eyes didn't do the job first. She didn't ask how he was, no pitying looks, no questioning glances at his leg. Very interesting.

"Then why are you here?" Berated House. Erica Church laughed lightly. Not what most patients would do. It annoyed him.

"I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time," She said. "I didn't think I needed to come in, but…"

"Well, you are wasting my time." Snapped House. "Once again, why are you here?" She blinked and gave a lopsided smile, much like the one House gave when he was amused and curious about someone else's behavior. He knew it well, and instead of feeling angry or irritated to be on the receiving end, he became interested.

"Okay, here's the story," She began. "I was babysitting for my neighbor. She has two kids, a little boy and girl. They started fooling around, throwing a bar of soap at each other and I got caught in the crossfire. It hurt like hell." She finished as she pointed a finger to her cheekbone right below her temple. House breathed a laugh. A bar of soap? Hilarious. "I wasn't going to come in but when my neighbor found out, she insisted that I get it checked out. It's worse than it sounds but not as bad as she thinks."

"Sounds like a very concerned neighbor." House looked at Erica in a way that indicated that he didn't believe any such thing. She smiled knowingly.

"Yes, more concerned about getting sued than anything else, I imagine." She commented, voicing his exact thoughts. Yes, this woman was very interesting.

"At least you're more insightful than most of my patients." Said House as he sat down and rolled his chair closer to her. He took her face in his hands and gently prodded the wounded area, causing her to wince slightly. "I take it that hurts?"

"No, it tickles. In fact, I'm nearly on the verge of an orgasm." She joked lightly. House scoffed amusedly.

"I wish all women responded like that when I touched them. However, it would make my job much more difficult." A thoughtful pause. "But definitely more pleasant." That brought a genuine laugh from her, which she immediately regretted as a shot of pain erupted from her cheekbone. House frowned. "Well, it's severely bruised. You are right, it is worse than it sounds, but not as bad as your neighbor thinks. Unfortunately, I don't think you can sue her."

"Pity."

"Alternate between hot water and ice. It will loosen up the bruising and help it go away faster."

"Thanks." A long pause where they looked at each other. "Can I go now?" House laughed and motioned for her to get off the table.

"Get out of here and leave me alone." Said House. "You may have been the only patient I've ever enjoyed treating in this godforsaken clinic, but I don't want you to move in or anything."

"You may have been the only doctor I've ever enjoyed seeing, but I don't want to sleep on these beds. And I bet the food is horrible." Quipped Erica. She turned to leave but was stopped by House's voice.

"Erica…Ms. Church?" He started. Erica turned and gave him a questioning look. It was a stupid question, but he was going to ask it anyway. "You didn't say anything about my leg. You never even seemed to notice."

"Hmm?" She asked as she looked down at his legs. She looked into his eyes and smiled. "Oh, you have very nice legs." Erica walked out of the exam room, leaving House alone in his surprised laughter.

Author's Note: The inspiration for this chapter hit me…well….like a bar of soap in the head. Getting hit with a bar of soap really does hurt, and it leaves quite a nasty invisible bruise. I still hurt. Since it seemed out of the ordinary, I thought I'd use it.