YOU'RE MY INSPIRATION
Story By: Dawn Otstot
Rated Strong PG-13
WARNING: Complete AU which takes place starting Nov. 1985. These are Journal/Diary Entries by both Lee and Amanda.
Classified as a : Dual Song Fiction
In Working Progress Since: 2002
Note: It's only been Beta'd once (thanks VetteGirl), so I know there will be some errors...Keeping that in mind, I do enjoy being critqued, so please have at it...Though if you don't have anything pleasant or constructive to say, don't say it at all...
General Disclaimer Scarecrow and Mrs. King and anything there by associated with SMK in this FF, the rights are owned by Warner Brothers Entertainment and Shoot the Moon Enterprises Ltd. ..
NOVEMBER 3, 1985
Dear Journal,
Boy, I've owned you for how long now, and this is the first time I've actually felt that the thoughts flowing through my mind are just too strong to keep to myself, but too powerful to tell to another soul. I think the day I finally baught you was maybe a week after I met "her", undoubtedly the most beautiful, intense, loving little spit fire Nature ever designed. She has the innocence of a new born child, is as unpredictable as a wild fire, the power and stubborness of a Hurrican, and the beauty, heart, and mind of an Angel.
Now that I look back, I'd say it had to have been the first day I met her, was the first day I fell in love with her, but it wasn't till I let this song on the Radio really sink into my mind that it really hit me. It's not like this is the first time I've heard this song before, it's been around for almost a few years now, it just happen to be the first time it made sense to me.
Her name is Amanda King. She's a tall, slender but strong, chesnut colored hair mother of two from Arlington, VA... Her eye's are so intense, yet so adorable, and I find it so amazing how easily she is affected by a simple smile, placing my hand on her shoulder, or a thank you for ignoring my anger, and unconditionally following me blind no matter what danger lies ahead...
So, for a change Journal, I've desided to try something a little different, something that I, Lee Stetson has never done before. I'm going to find the Lyrics to this song, and write a portion of it in here when ever I make a entry. I want to see if facing my fear by reading how I feel, will finally show me a way to open my heart even more to Amanda, and not cause her anymore pain by running away.
Well, Journal, looks like I must get to work...She'll be wondering where I am if I leave any later. Next time we meet, I will have lyrics in hand, and then we'll go from there...
NOVEMBER 3, 1985
Dear Diary,
Wow, it has been ages since you and I have talked...So much has changed in my life it's unbelievable, and I think this is probably the first time I've actually slowed down long enough to open you up and write...And with out even turning back the pages, I can tell you exactly when and I why I stopped doing what I use to find so important in my life. It was the day I met "Him"...
What a rollercoaster ride it has been since the day this most Intrueging, Dashing, Fascinatingly beautiful man walked me into his life...Well, it was more like he pulled me in, and I can't say I was too happy about it at the time, but to this day I have yet to regret it...The moment those Gorgeous hazel eye's of his looked into mine, I saw and felt something like I've never felt before. A man who was honest, but yet desprite, and I could feel his need to be helped...Not just with the current predicament he seemed to be in, but with something deep inside wanting to be set free... He seemed alone and scared, but strong and willing, so how could I not help him out...There was No Way my heart would have let me walk away from him...
His name is Lee Stetson... He stand 6'2", athletic build, but not too muscular, and has the softest sandy brown hair I've ever touched...Those eye's of his are, how shall I put this, Captivating...Yah, that's it! With a single glance I swear I feel their warmth touching my skin, their need in wanting to know all about me roaming inside, and the sudden urge to look deep into those eye's and try to see what mysteries I can unlock...And like clock work, he smiles, oh my gosh as I live and breathe, that smile has to be my downfall...Or maybe it's a combo of the two, I'm not quite sure, but I'm a goner as soon he does...And no sooner after, I feel my body shudder, the heat rise through out my flesh, and I'm suddenly so nervous that he'll read more into it or see something I'm not ready to reveal, so I avert my eyes away and try to recover...
Don't get me wrong, Lee Stetson has his moments...Sometimes that man can be so infureating, confusing, and just so full of himself, that I just.. just... ugg...I don't know... One minute I'm his best friend, the one who shares his deepest and most painful memories with, and the next thing I know I'm being pushed away like last weeks left overs I sometimes find in his fridge...I'm his partner for Gosh sakes, we're supposed to watch eachothers back, and solve these cases together. But Oh No... not him... We're partners, but only when there is no danger, nothing that involve me finding trouble, which according to him I always seem to end up in... I swear I hear " Amanda, stay in the car.." more times then I care to count, and that drives me nuts...
Billy, that's our boss, sees my frustrations, knows the anger I feel towards Lee now and then, but I think it's because he's been there before...He knows Lee so well that at these difficult times I usually find myself in his office, not by choice, but because Billy doesn't want me to give up on him...
"Amanda, you need to be patient with Lee...I know how you feel, believe me I know, but you also know he cares very much about you...And you of all people know the pain and emotional scares he's been dealing with most of his life.."
"Yes Sir... I know, but..." And that's were he always seems to cut me off, not that I didn't deserve it, but he knows all to well what I'm about to say, so he stops me right there...
"Amanda... look how much you've changed him, how much more effective he is having you by his side, and how much more careful he is knowing he not only has you watching his back, but that he has someone he needs to look out for too...No one I know has ever successfully been able to get through to Lee like that, but you did... You can't give up on him now.."
I know deep down I can't give up, well in actuallality, I won't give up... He's barried himself so deep in my heart that I'd be so lost, and alone without him... So I've desided to do something a little different, and from this point on I'm going to use this idea I have to keep from loosing my perspective...
There's this song I heard on the radio just the other day as I was cleaning out the den; sung by a group that has become quite a influence through out the adult portion of my life...a few of their songs got me past some pretty ruff times when Joe and I started having troubles...So it's no surprise that this one found it's way to me, and just at the right time I might add... I know, I know, out with it Amanda, your just waiting for me to share my idea, well here it is...
Everytime I make a new entry on to your pages, it will include a portion of the songs lyric. That way I not only hear it, but see what will be my driving force and constint remind of how I can't fade out of his life now... That what I feel day in and day out for this man, for Lee is real...
Oh shoot, look at the time.. Lee should be walking through that door any minute now, and I know darn well if he sees my writing on you, he's curiousity will get the better of him and he'll want to see it all...
Until we meet again...
Amanda
