Hi, this is the prologue, it's long and boring but you have to read it to understand the story
In the last part Severus is out of character but will be put back into character in chapt. 1. Speaking of parts i have many points of view and i don't know how to seperate thim, with a line or something...anyone know?
Rated M for, slightly graphic rape, language, violence, child molestation (i guess) and dark themes (i guess)
some pairings are LE/SS, SB/RL/SS, JP/LE(one sided), LM/SS. I relize Severus has A LOT of pairings..but it will all become clear, k, i'll shut up. I hope u enjoy, please R&R
Illusions
Prologue:
Marauders 4th year:
James strutted confidently into the massive library. He glanced around haughtily, ruffling his dark hair in a manor he felt was impressive. His eyes landed on a familiar, hated, dark head bent low over a desk in the far corner of the library. James sneered as he pictured the long nose greasing the book page.
This might be entertaining.
James pulled out is wand and crept stealthily towards his most loathed enemy. About forty feet away he stopped.
"Snivelly" He began to call mockingly, his words were caught in his throat. A spunky red head glided gracefully over to the studying boy. She plunked her books down beside him and tucked a strand of rich burgundy hair behind her delicate ear. Snape looked up, his cold onyx eyes met her brilliant green ones.
He said something. She laughed softly and swatted him playfully on the arm. Sliding into a chair beside him. The two heads were bent close together. Hazel eyes narrowed.
James couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lily Evans, the beautiful Lily Evans. He had asked her out a few times, he fancied her, and yet he, with all his good looks and popularity, had been rejected. The enraged teen wiped his glasses furiously, it couldn't be true!
What did Snivellus Snape have that he, James Potter, all-star seeker, most popular guy in school, didn't have? Snape was a greasy Slytherin git. And yet Lily had chosen him!
James' finger nails dug into his palms as he clenched his fists. The fact that Lily had chosen someone else was bad enough...But Snape! Oh no, he would take what was his. He would have Lily Evans and he would break Snape, James vowed. Fuming the enraged Gryffindor turned on his heel and stormed out of the library plans already forming in his mind.
Severus' heart felt lighter then it had for a while. Lily. He sighed. She was always just so..everything. He hadn't seen her for a while and now...He scowled, chiding himself, love, he felt it, he loved her, but he knew she didn't love him. Love was just a shallow mockery, he sneered, trying to convince himself. Severus pushed a strand of ebony hair out of his eyes irritably and adjusted the stack of huge tombs he clutched in his arms.
Suddenly he heard a second set of footsteps merging with his own quiet gait. He quickened his pace. Being paranoid. he told himself. Switching his books so he held them under one arm and his wand held at the ready in his other.
"Severus," a cold voce drawled lazily behind him.
Severus cursed. He had been preparing for a marauder attack, but this, this was ten times worse. Subconsciously, he had been expecting this too, even more then a boy-hood feud. But Severus, as he did with many of his problems, banished it to the furthest recesses of his mind. However, as his tormentors hunger grew this "problem", as he called it, was revisited more and more frequently.
The young Slytherin increased his pace even more. Maybe-Maybe he'll think I didn't hear him and go away. The dark boy thought desperately.
"Severus" the voice called again sounding amused, and to Severus' horror aroused. The young boy turned a corner trying in vain to get away. His usual cool logic seemed to have left him. He turned left and right hurtling around turns until...He screeched to a halt an inch away from smacking into a wall, but dropping his books. He bent to quickly pick them up but froze as strong arms encircled his waist pulling him against another larger body.
The skinny boy could hear his captors heavy breathing. A hand deftly began to unbutton his shirt, while another slipped under his waistband caressing his manhood. Severus cried out.
"Please Lucius, not tonight-" the small boy protested, terrified. "Please" Lucius' hands stopped exploring and Severus was whirled around. His black eyes met lust filled grey ones.
"Now dear severus, dear, dear severus" Lucius said huskily tracing Severus' jaw line with one finger, sending a chill down Severus' spine. "Remember firstly, my name is master, or brother, alright?" He asked, his hand now caressing his victims face, moving across the eyelids, nose, lips, lingering on the lips. Severus shuddered at the touch but said nothing. Throwing Malfoy a steely glare instead. Don't show your fear.
"Alright?" Lucius asked dangerously. Again Severus refused to answer. SMACK! The sting of the older boys unexpected blow lingered, and the force knocked Severus off of his feet.
"No!" he cried defiantly "Leave me alone!"
"Severus-" Lucius cooed, plucking the slender boy off of the floor with little effort and setting him on his feet, drawing him close. One arm around him.
Their bodies were pressed together. Severus felt the bulge between Lucius' legs and paled. With his free hand Lucius gently tilted the ebony haired boy's pale chin up.
"My Sevvie, My poor sweet Sevvie-You must obey me! You know what happens if you don't, your father will not be pleased, no not at all" He sighed mockingly. "You see, if I send lord Snape a bad report-" he paused stoking Severus' hair. "Your dear mother would have a very tragic accident-that will no doubt prove fatal, and we don't want that to happen-do we?-do we!"
"No" Severus choked out, holding back tears.
"No-what?"
"No, master"
"Good"
Severus could not let his mother get murdered, he loved her. It was blackmail! He couldn't tell anyone our his father would kill her, not that he had anyone to trust anyway...
He slumped submissively in Lucius Malfoy's arms. He felt himself be pushed into a deserted classroom and onto the floor. Felt his clothes being taken off. Felt airy kisses trail across his flesh. And could not hold back screams as Lucius slated his lust.Forcing thin legs apart he penatrated,Thrusting hard, kisses across the chest. He moved up and ejaculated on Severus stomach moaning in ecstasy. He slid up the boys stomach pressing their hips together and licking the youngers nipple. Enjoying his victims screams...
Remus stared at his shoelaces in some degree of dismay as he listened to his fiery friend rant.
"That slimy, greasy, sniveling, son-of-a-bitch! Who does Snape think he is!" James roared, pacing furiously back and forth.
Remus picked nervously at a scar from the last full moon. James was planning the most horrible things to do to Severus. Breaking his spirit, leaving him worse than dead.
He pushed his light brown hair out of his soft golden eyes. Severus. He sighed. Over the past four years he had developed a-well-a crush on Severus Snape. He loved his stormy black eyes, His long black hair, His poetic grace, His air of danger, even his morbidity. He was also ferociously intelligent, yet humble-. He blushed. If only his friends could hear him now. He trembled to think what they would do.
Still, the young werewolf was nearly in tears, he had to protect the one he loved, yet his friends, if anyone knew what he was, they would treat him as vermin, unfit for life, damnable for being sick. Even though he was an animal, not fit for human companionship they, his friends, had excepted him out of kindness. He was more than lucky-he was blessed. He was a monster, an accepted monster, as he was reminded every time he rose against them.
No he could not betray his friends, even though they were planning the torture of the one he loved-no one else would have me, he tried to rationalize, not Severus, not anybody. I can't betray my saviors. Besides I'm sure there cool off and forget-I hope. All the others, Peter, Sirius, and especially James were all for Severus's destruction, but-he sighed, and continued to stare submissively at his laces.
"I'm going to bed" James mumbled, his momentum burned out, suddenly exhausted. Ruffling his hair distractedly and groaning. "Headache-maybe we can figure this out later" He yawned. "Night Sirius, all, anyone else comin'?" Peter, who had been trying not to fal asleep jumped at the chance of bed, following James like a dog.
Sirius had been eyeing his adorable friend through all of James rant. He had felt a stirring in his loins looking at the slender boy and a rush of tenderness. He noticed some inner turmoil behind golden eyes, which he found troubling, and very cute. His need grew.
Remus suddenly became aware of how late it was. He and Sirius were alone in the common room. He suddenly wanted nothing more then to curl up in his nice warm bed and forget the days troubles.
"Night I s'pose Sirius" He said quietly, stifling a yawn.
"Remus-wait!" Sirius called, latching on to the brunette's wrist.
"Huh?"
"Well it's just" he began, taking a step closer, pulse rushing, what was he going to do. "I saw you looked worried, and you blushed!" he babbled.
"Oh-I-Um" Remus stuttered, had it been Sirius' eyes he had felt on him, gazing intensely, raising gooseflesh, why had he been staring? Did he suspect?
"Shh, I just wanna say, it's just Snape-k? He's a git, no worries, alright Remi?" Oh so he didn't suspect, he was just concerned, that was nice, but-why did Sirius call him Remi, it was almost a pet name, like he was Sirius' boyfriend or something.
"Remi?-what" Remus began, but was cut off by a fierce kiss. Sirius slammed him against the wall-hard. Forcing his tongue into Remus' mouth, thrusting, long and hard ...Sirius broke of the kiss and trailed his mouth down to Remus' neck leaving light kisses. He sunk his teeth into the brunette's neck leaving a hickey.
Licking his lips he looked up, eyes glistening. "Night Remi" then bounded up the stairs to his dormitory.
Did you really just do that Sirius? It felt so..so good! Mmm Remus, he's tasty. I'm so glad he's mine.
Remus stood at the foot of the stairs, paralyzed with shock. He gingerly touched the spot his head had hit the wall, feeling a bump. He let his hand trail down to the bruise on his neck and felt tears well up. Why Sirius?-why?
"Severus" he cried quietly. He waited curled up in a chair down in the common room until he was sure Sirius was asleep then crept back up and, not bothering to undress sank into his bed. Pulling the covers over his head and curling into a tight ball he cried himself to sleep.
Lily slipped into the Gryffindor common room and climbed the stairs to the girls dormitory, feeling like she was walking on clouds. She flopped onto her bed and hugged a pillow. Smiling. Severus was better than the best high.
Her eyes sparkled as she savored the memory of her time spent in the library with Severus. She sighed again. Why am I so attracted to him?
He was poetic and witty, and, dare she say it...charming. A bit morbid, yes, cynical, a bit, but charming non the less. Plus he was so smooth and graceful. So this is love?
Her smile faded, did he love her...no. They studied together, were good friends but...even if he did...It would never work...He was a Slytherin..and she a Gryffindor..it wasn't fair. Lily saw the societal problems at Hogwarts, Interaction between houses was frowned upon, segregation approved.
She slammed her pillow down. You weren't allowed to be friends with a person from a different house, much less..She turned and gazed out of her window in dismay. The young girl stared at the vast heavens. The stars and moon seemed to comfort her and gently lulled her to sleep.
Marauders 5th year:
Severus sniffed, he couldn't help it. Sinking down farther against the wall tears streamed down his face, big anguished tears. He hadn't cried like this since crying was beaten out of him at two. Lucius had graduated at the end of last year. All the torture he had submitted himself to, to keep her alive...and he had done it anyway.
He clenched the tear stained envelope in anger. Hot fury unlike anything he had felt before, mixed with unbearable anguish coursed through his veins. He would kill the bastard for what he had done to his mother, and to him.
Tears cascaded down the pale teenagers face. I'll kill him right now! In a blind fury he soot shot up. CRACK! His head collided painfully with the window sill he'd been sitting under, opening a wound on the top of his head inflicted by Potter and Black earlier that day. Blood matted his hair, and, seeing stars, the boy sunk back onto the floor, his momentum gone.
Only a raw endless blur of pain, grief, hopelessness, and a muted rage was left. His face darkened and his body convulsed with endless angst.
Footsteps...
He sank deeper into the dark alcove hoping the shadows would conceal and protect him, as they had done before. No one must see him like this, especially not...
"Who's there?" a soft voice called out. He cursed. Lily. She would mock him, shy away, he would loose his only friend, his love.
"A-are you alright" Lily called out uncertainly into the dark passageway. "I heard someone crying and it's past curfew and everything"
Go Away! Just go away! Severus thought fiercely. The prefect's light footsteps made their way towards Severus.
He cursed his own humanity. Stop crying Snape. He screamed at himself. Digging his fingernails into his palms so hard he drew blood in punishment.
She was nearly upon him.
No!
Lily squinted into the alcove. She made out the huddled form and...
"Severus-" she breathed, sinking to her knees in front of him. "Oh-Sev-are you ok?"
"I-lily-" he began "well I'm fine-just" his voice choked and he stopped. Tears beginning again.
She moved closer, gently embracing him, rocking, uttering soft soothing noises.
Severus tensed in her gentle embrace, such a foreign gesture. He tried, tried, to hold back tears but they wouldn't stop. His frustration only added to his anguish and the tears increased.
Lily cradled the boy to her breast, nearly crying herself seeing her friend in such grief.
Severus finally gained control of himself and instantly felt terrible, shame creeping up his face.
"Oh-Lily-I'm sorry you must-I mean-you must despise me, I'm such a-I-I'll just go" He moved to leave but she caught him pulling him back. He felt a moments panic, remembering so many nights with Lucius. But Lily's soft voice soothed him.
"I don't think less of you for expressing your emotions Sev, what is it?" She gently coaxed.
Severus hesitated, don't tell her, but
"H-he said he wouldn't, b-but even after Malfoy left, he still-she was found w-with" He bit his lip to keep from crying again and stuffed a tear blotched letter into her hands"
Dear Mr. Snape,
We are sorry to inform you of the untimely passing of your mother Camilla Bennington Snape. We sincerely apologize for your loss. Ms. Snape was found dead yesterday (January 8) in her kitchen. She had been assaulted and murdered. For more information write to the return address.
Cordially yours,
Jowel Warner
Department of Magical Law Enforcement
"He did it, I know he did it" Severus said fiercely. "He was always beating on her, she was stabbed, he enjoyed using knives, my father!"
Lily looked at him, her emerald eyes clouded with sorrow. She couldn't take it, seeing him so said, so vulnerable, he the strong one.
She leaned forward pushing ebony strands from his face and gently placed her lips on his in a gentle, caressing kiss.
At first Severus was shocked. Then he tentatively kissed back. Their bodies moved together. Neither noticing theblood from Severus' wound staining their clothes
watcha think?
i like to torture my favorites aparantly (i spelled that wrong rite?)
nxt chapter: The story actually begins gasp
review, don be to mean because i already apologized and said Sev was out of character so there! Unless it was really bad, then tell me.0o
