TUESDAY

Morning

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare

Henry McCoy was running out of patience.  "Don't make me hurt you Gambit!"  His patient had submitted with bad grace to the less invasive scans, but had a definite aversion to needles.  Even Rogue was coping better and she was used to being invulnerable.

She too was losing patience.  "Remy, jus' sit down and let the man do his job.  It's what we're here for, remember?"

Gambit was looking furtively round the lab as though trying to find the fastest route out of there.  Hank had just about had enough.  Taking his patient's arms in his large paws, he lifted him off his feet and put him, not too gently, on the examination table.  "Sit there and don't move."  He growled, then, softening, "It's for your own good, Gambit.  It won't take long if you just sit still."

Gambit nodded absently, eyes still roaming round the room, looking for possible exits, or as though he expected something to leap out of the shadows at him.  As Hank turned away to the instrument table, he caught Rogue's eye.  They were both a little spooked by Gambit's behaviour.  He'd hardly spoken a word since they'd been down here and Remy always had the nerve to wisecrack.  Trying not to let his concern show too much, Hank turned back, keeping his movements slow and careful.  "Now, I'm just going to take some blood, ok?  It'll only take a minute and won't hurt if you just keep still."  Nevertheless, Gambit still flinched at the touch of the needle, looking over Hank's head as he filled the sample bottle.  "Right.  You're all done." 

Hank carefully labelled the bottle, giving Rogue another significant look as he ambled off to start the analysis.  Rogue hopped down from her seat and walked slowly over to Gambit.  He was still sitting, staring into space, apparently unaware of her or anything else in the room.  Wherever he is, she thought, it sure ain' here.  Trying not to startle him, she put a hand on his arm.  "Remy?  You gonna come back to me now?"

"Hmm?"  Gambit shook his head and he managed to make his eyes focus on Rogue.  "Rogue, chére?  Sorry.  Was miles away."  He shivered a little.  The medical bay felt cold and hard, all metal surfaces and electric cables.  For somewhere designed to heal the sick, Hank's lab felt awfully stark. 

"You with me now, sugah?"  Rogue's eyes were full of concern and he felt sudden guilt at scaring her.

"Sure, chére, sure"  He smile his best grin, all white teeth and curled lips, knowing it fooled neither of them, even if it did make him feel better. It may have been bravado, but even pretending everything was alright helped.  "Was jus'… rememb'ring."  He shivered again.  He'd been in too many labs like this, being prodded and poked in the name of science.  He'd tried to ignore the things he'd seen in Sinister's labs, focussing on only what he needed to do, but no-one could ignore everything.  Some of the things he'd seen would stay with him forever.  Realising he was spacing out again, he shook his head and managed to meet Rogue's eyes.  "C'mon, Rogue. Dis place gives me de creeps."  Grabbing his shirt and her hand, he hurried out of the lab and into the mansion.

The atmosphere up here was warmer, wooden panels and soft carpets, but it was still too enclosed.  Keeping his grip on Rogue, Gambit pulled her out into the sunshine, stopping in the middle of the main lawn.  Tilting his head back, he took a deep breath of the fresh air, free of the smells of disinfectant and steel.

"Erm, Remy, sugah?  Ah really think…"  Rogue nudged him slightly and he looked down at her, puzzled.  She nodded her head to the other side of the garden, where a gaggle of female students were watching from and giggling.  "Ah think you might want to put your shirt on?"  Remy's torso still bore some traces of scars and to her eyes his ribs were still far too visible, but even so, to impressionable teenage girls, he probably held far more attraction than any of the current male staff.

He grinned at her.  "What, Rogue?  You jealous?"

"Of them?  Please!"

"Well, den.  You don' got anyt'in' to worry 'bout, do y'?"  He was really laying it on thick, both the lecherous smile and the accent.  Moving faster than she'd expected, he pulled on the hand he was holding, wrapped his other arm round her waist and leant her back into a deep kiss.  Distantly, she could hear the girls' giggles, but they seemed a long way off compared to the blood rushing in her ears.  For a moment she was lost, just feeling him close, holding her-

*Rogue?  Gambit?*  the jolt of the telepathic call startled them both into breaking off the kiss and Rogue was grateful she hadn't ended up on the grass.  The kiss had been fun, that would have just been embarrassing.  His lips still on hers, Remy mumbled

"Always got perfect timin', Prof."

*Sorry, but I thought you'd want to know.  I've found your missing mutant.*  There was actually very little apology in Xavier's telepathic voice.

"Maybe he t'ink we settin' his students a bad example, neh?"  Remy was still bending over her, unwilling to let her go.  Smiling regretfully, Rogue kissed him on the nose and forced her way up.

"Duty calls, Ah guess."

"Yeah, I guess."  With a glance across the garden, Gambit pulled his shirt on, stretching his arms out for maximum effect.  Rogue whacked him playfully in the stomach.

"Stop that."

"Why?  You scared one of them gonna have a crush on me?"

"No, it's a bit late for that."  Rogue smiled sweetly.  "It's just cruel to show them what they can't have."  This time she took his hand and lead him back into the house.  Remy followed to the door, turning on the threshold to blow a kiss across the lawn.  His reward was another burst of girlish giggles, and a sharp tug from Rogue to pull him inside before she slammed the door behind them.

As neither of them had been down to see Cerebra, Gambit had supposed it would look much like the old Cerebro.  Despite himself, he was impressed with the new set up.

"M'sieur le bete, you've really outdone yourself dis time."  Gambit whistled softly to himself.  However much Hank might denigrate the dexterity of his huge paws, this was a work of art. 

Xavier looked small and fragile sitting at the heart of the great machine, but Gambit knew just how deceptive that appearance was.  Together, Xavier and Cerebra could do just about anything.  The thought made him more than a little nervous, that they could simply walk into anyone's mind and take what they wanted.  It was probably just the fact that he had some 'natural immunity' to being scanned that made him jumpy.  What with the session in Hank's lab and now this, his thoughts were definitely straying out of the gates and down the highway. 

Pulling himself together, he addressed the Professor.

"You said you'd found her?"

*Yes.  Would you like to see?*

"OK.  But be gentle.  I'm not used to this."  Despite Gambit's light tone, Rogue moved closer, just for reassurance.  With his powers 'off', Gambit's blocking abilities were weakened if not gone and he, unlike the others, wasn't used to having Xavier reach into his mind.

The professor smiled.  *Don't worry, Gambit.  It won't hurt.  In fact, you might even enjoy it.* 

"I doubt that"  Remy muttered, as he felt Xavier's mind touch his.  It was more of a jolt than he'd been expecting, as suddenly he could see the world laid out beneath him.  The surprise made him pull back, instinctively, as Xavier pulled him in.

*Don't panic Gambit.  This is normal.  This is what the world looks like through Cerebra.  The points of light are mutants, the brighter the light, the more powerful they are.*

Gambit's senses adjusted, coping with the dramatic change in perspective, not liking it at all.

"So where's de girl?"

The picture whirled and changed and Gambit found himself looking at a close up of New York, with Manhattan clearly recognisable.  There were perhaps hundreds of winking lights in the great city.

"You're kiddin'.  She's right here in New York?" 

Gradually the lights faded until only one was left. 

"De village.  I don't believe it.  She could have walked past us on the street yesterday!"  Gambit watched the light move along streets he and Rogue had been walking the day before.  "She jus' shoppin' or she livin' there?"

*As far as I can tell, this is her address.  Or at least it's where she's living for the past couple of weeks.  She's got a very…closed mind.  I couldn't push to hard without alarming her.*

Xavier eased out of Gambit's mind and the world spun again.  The lab came into focus around him and he braced himself against the dizziness, having to close his eyes to keep his balance.  When he opened them again, Xavier had removed Cerebra's interface helmet and was stepping out of the machine.  Rogue looked at Gambit, noting the strain around his eyes.

"You ok, sugah?"

"Oui.  Jus' not used to it, y'know?"  Gambit shook his head to clear it, adjusting to the knowledge Xavier had put there.  "So, now we know where t'find her."

"You goin' to ring Courier?" 

Gambit considered for a minute.  Half of him, probably the sensible half, was telling him that they should just ring Jake, give him the address and let him get on with him.  The other half, the one with the instincts in, was saying that that might not be a good idea.  So instead of answering the question he asked one of his own.

"Prof.?  You get any idea of what her powers are?"  At Rogue's unspoken question he went on, "Thought it would be useful to know.  Madamoiselle Gavin may have good reason for hiding and I'd feel kinda bad for giving her away"

Xavier closed his eyes, remembering what he had seen through Cerebra.  "She had impressive psi-shields, but if she is a telepath she's a low level one.  There was no outward physical mutation, unless her blindness is part of it.  Apart from that, I couldn't tell.  I didn't want to violate her privacy any more than I already had and she certainly would have felt it if I'd pushed harder"

"You think we'd put her in danger if we tell Jake?" 

Gambit was impressed.  Rogue could read him better than he realised.  Even Xavier looked surprised

"Danger?  She may be a little annoyed, but I don't see…"

"Nor do Ah, but Gambit does, dontcha?"

He had to smile at that.  Rogue was certainly keeping up with him.  "Oui, chére.  That's what I think.  I think that if she's half as powerful as Jake said, she wouldn't need to run.  And what's she doin' cuttin' h'self off from all that money?  Or why not just tell them to butt outta her life an' leave her alone.  You have t'go to a lot of trouble to hide from the Gavin fortune, so why bother unless you're desp'rate?  No, there's too many questions wit'out answers here."  He shook his head, "You only run like that if you really have to.  Plus, t'quote a well known phrase or sayin', I got a bad feelin' about this." 

Even Xavier smiled at that.  "So what will you do?"  He asked.

"What?"  Gambit was feigned surprise "No words of wisdom t'guide us on our way?"

"Gambit, I have learnt that wise advise to you is pretty much water off a duck's back.  You're not my students now, nor are you my employees."  Xavier's smile took them both in.  "You've always done what you thought was right, no matter how much I might disagree with you.  So.  What are you going to do?"

Unable to resist, Gambit bowed extravagantly to the professor.  "Merci, mon capitaine."  But there was real respect in his eyes as they met Xavier's.  He'd wondered how the professor felt about their departure and while there was clearly regret at their choice, there was an underlying acceptance of what they were doing.  He didn't know Xavier could be so gracious and was impressed despite himself.  "I t'ink de first thing is to go see de young lady, find out de whole story 'fore rushing into anyt'in'."

"Sounds wise.  Well, I expect Henry will be wanting to see you."  Gambit knew that coming from a telepath, that wasn't just idle speculation.    

"Guess we'd better be goin' then, huh Remy?"  Rogue held out a hand to the Xavier.  "Thanks, Professor.  We appreciate the help."

Xavier took her hand, still smiling and shook it warmly.  "Anytime, Rogue.  Remy.  Come back whenever you want."

As they left the room, the couple shared a wry look. 

"He never stops tryin', does he?"

"Can you blame him, chére?  We can't just waltz in an' out like we own de place and not expect him to say somet'in'.  I'm just surprised he was so subtle 'bout it."

"Well, Ah say we find out what Hank's got to say and high tail it outta here.  Before you end up teachin' those giggling 10th graders."

"There's only one t'ing I'm qualified to teach and somehow I don't t'ink Charlie'll want his precious kids learning that"  Then, catching her look, "or that!"

"Oh Ah don' know."  Rogue grinned wickedly.  "Some of those kids looked like they could use some entertainment"

Despite himself, Gambit chuckled.  "Jus' what exactly d'you think I'm gonna teach them?"

Rogue's eyes were playful, "Why, Remy LeBeau, what are you thinkin'?  Ah just meant you could show them how to sneak out at night, you know, get past the alarms and such."

"An' dat's all you was thinkin'"

"Of course"

"Y'know, sometimes I wonder just what kind of a guy you think I am, chére?"

In answer, Rogue pulled him into a kiss.  When she finally pulled away, the playful smile was still on her lips.  "My guy."

Afternoon

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same

If by Rudyard Kipling

Gambit held onto the memory of the kiss as they entered the lab again.  Remembering why he was there was as important as remembering he could leave any time he wanted.  Hank wanted to help because he was a friend, not out of pure scientific interest.  Holding back his shudder, he decided to go on the offensive.  Smiling his best smile, he addressed the doctor.

"So, mon ami. You got somet'in' f'r us?"
 
Hank winced. "My friend, if you must retain your no doubt culturally important accent at all times, do you think you could employ it in such a way that it does not mangle the English language beyond all recognition?"
 
"Pardon, monsieur. Préférez-vous le Français? [Would you prefer French ?]" The accent was pure Parisien without a trace of the South.
 
"Nur wenn Ihnen Deutsch nichts ausmacht." 
[Only if you don't mind German]
 

Gambit laughed, knowing when he was beaten, and sat down on the exam table. 

Shaking her head, Rogue sat next to him and took his hand.  Gambit tried not to clasp her hand too tightly in return.  Despite the good humour, his nerves were getting to him.

"When you boys are quite done?" she said.  "What's the verdict, Beast?" 

Hank didn't speak for a moment, staring at the pencil he was holding, which looked absurdly small in his huge paw.  Rogue's hand clenched in his, fearing the worst.

"Rogue.  Gambit.  You both know that, apart from Vargas' sword, Khan's beam hurt you badly.  It forced your powers, Remy, into overdrive, using them in a way that was never meant to be.  We know from past experience how damaging your powers can be at full strength.  This pushed them beyond even that."

Again, Gambit suppressed a shudder at the memory of having access to his 'full powers'.  He hadn't been able to contain the energy surging through him then, but the danger had been to others rather than himself.

"So you saying I fried m'self an' Rogue when we were in dat beam?"

"No, Remy.  As you know, you cannot charge living tissue.  Even when your powers were out of control, you could burn people, but not make them actually explode."

"Merci, m'sieur.  I had f'gotten."  Gambit's tone was icy

"I'm sorry, my friend.  I was so busy being the detached physician I forgot to be your friend.  Forgive me."

"Just get to the point, Hank!"  Rogue was getting impatient.  Clearly Beast had something difficult to say, but his delay wasn't helping any of them

"Right.  Basically, as you suspected, your powers burnt out.  The closest normal human analogy I can come up with is the liver of an alcoholic.  The cells are so damaged by the abuse that they die, and when they regenerate they can grow back wrong somehow.  They rearrange themselves incorrectly, so that the liver no longer works properly.  In simple terms, that is what has happened to you.  The nerves, the cells, the pathways that are involved when you use your mutant power are rewiring themselves wrongly causing the occasional bursts of power you have both experienced."

Beast fell silent, letting his words sink in, before continuing.  "I'm sure you both have a lot of questions, so lets see if I can answer them.  Firstly Rogue.  Your systems seem to be putting themselves back together, slowly.  Probably a combination of your Kree heritage and Wolverine's healing factor.  It'll take time, but eventually you should be back to normal." 

Rogue nodded, trying to understand what she was being told.  She would be happy, she guessed, if she'd known the doctor wasn't done yet.

"Gambit.  It's a little harder for you"

"No healin' factor, right?"

"When you come right down to it, yes.  Thanks to her unique genetic make up and her mutant abilities, Rogue can heal much better and faster than probably all of us except Logan.  I'm afraid your body isn't coping as well."

"Not'in' you c'n do, eh?"

"Not at the moment"

Rogue broke in, "But Beast, what about those nano-probes you used in Madripor?  Couldn't you use them to…"

"I'm afraid not.  The damage is too extensive.  Even with equipment equal to the task, the strain of the procedure would probably be fatal."

Gambit smiled, ruefully.  "So dat's it, huh?  All this runnin' round, savin' de world, buildin' a life.  All f'r not'in'."  Rogue opened her mouth to interrupt.  "No chére, dat's how 'tis.  Figures."  The smile was more bitter now, as he looked Beast straight in the eye.  "Merci, mon ami.  You bin honest, and I 'preciate it.  I guess we better go find de girl now, oui?  Try t'do some good."

"Hang on a second, sugah."  Rogue wasn't giving up so easily.  "Beast, you said 'not at the moment'."

"Well, there's always the chance that we'll find a way to repair the damaged cells and pathways.  I've got the computer working on it at the moment and.."

"S'alright, doc.  I'll manage.  Guess dis livin' t'ing's just somet'in' I gotta cope with, eh?"  He stood up, letting go of Rogue's hand.  "I'll go put our stuff together an' we can get outta here, OK Rogue?"

Rogue took a deep breath, just about managing to hold onto her temper.  "You want a hand?"

"Non.  S'fine.  I'll see you in a bit."  Without looking at either of them, he walked out of the lab.

There was silence for a minute following his departure, neither Rogue nor Beast knowing what to say.  Suddenly the computer beeped, making them both jump. 

"Rogue, I…"  Hank struggled for the words.  "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault.  You've done your best for us, always.  Hell, we owe you our lives."

"I'm not sure Remy would thank me for his at the moment."

"Hank, right now, he wouldn't thank either of us."  Rogue got up and went over to him, putting her hand on his arm.  It looked so small, sinking into the blue fur.  Hank had rarely seen Rogue looking helpless, but now, standing next to him with her head bowed, she looked like a small child, frightened and alone.  After a moment she seemed to pull herself together and she raised her head to him.  Behind the pain in her eyes, Hank knew there was a will of iron.  He could only hope that would be enough to get her and Gambit through this.

"Anything I can do to help, you just come back here. OK?"  He covered her hand with his.

"OK.  Thanks for everything."  She lifted her other hand to his face, then she too was gone, without looking back, leaving Hank alone in the lab with only the computers for company.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Gambit reached his and Rogue's room grateful he hadn't bumped into students or staff on the way.  He resisted the urge to slam the door, and settled for closing it with extreme care, just to see how silently he could do it.  The action felt good, an old habit, a skill he hadn't lost.  He had to remember that.  Whatever else happened, he had his old skills to fall back on.  His own words were coming back to haunt him.

I'm a t'ief when all else fails an' all else failed

Running a hand over his face, he began to collect up the few things they'd brought. 

They. 

Giving up on the packing, he sat down on the bed, face in his hands and tried to think.  He couldn't just take to the hills and hope for the best.  Despite himself, he snorted with laughter. Nor could he go on thinking in clichés or he really would go mad.  Shaking his head at his typically inappropriate sense of humour, he tried to put his thoughts in order again.  It had been much easier to make this kind of decision when he only had himself to think about.  Now he had to consider what Rogue would want to do.  If she was going to get her powers back, she would want to come back to the X-men, he was sure of it. 

And what then?  He couldn't hang about in the sidelines, wringing his hands and hoping she'd come back safe.  He might not be helpless without his powers, but he was a realist.  The kind of world the X-men moved in was one where the average 'flatscan' would be a liability, even if he was a master thief.  Although he wasn't completely reliant on his powers for everything, they gave him an edge that was necessary.  And if he couldn't run with the X-men, what would that mean for him and Rogue.  How much would she give up to be with him?  And how much would he sacrifice to make her happy?

Ending up back where he started, he decided to do something, rather than just sit.  Opening his eyes, he noticed the faint glow around his fingers again, and this time he could feel the power not just see it.  Also feeling the need to work off the frustration, he looked around the room, spotting a particularly charmless vase on a small table.  Moving quickly, he got up and wrapped his hands round it, feeling, just for a moment, the familiar surge of power.   Rather than blow it up, he concentrated on pouring as much power into it as he could, letting his frustration and anger carry him along.  The vase glowed bright as though on fire for a moment and then disappeared, his power scattering the molecules across the room.  Then as suddenly as it had come, the power faded, leaving him empty inside.

Resisting the temptation to kick the side-table over, he clenched his fists.  He would not lose it.  He would not.  Breathing deeply, he went round the room, collecting the few bits and pieces they had brought with them.  They both travelled light and most of their things were at the apartment in New York anyway.  As he retrieved the things from the bathroom, he kept his eyes fixed downwards.  There was no way he was going to look in the mirror, no way he could meet his own eyes at the moment.  Not if he wanted to get out without trashing the place.  Disintegrating the vase had felt good, but wasn't enough and never could be, living with just the occasional flickerings of power.  He wasn't sure he could do that.  What would he do if that happened in the middle of a job?  It had been embarrassing enough blowing up that lamp in the motel but it could have been much worse.

Throwing the last bottles into the bag, he zipped it up and slung it over his shoulder.  Turning to leave the room, he stopped sharply.  The door he had shut so carefully had been opened with equal care and a woman stood framed in the doorway.

"You leaving us so soon, Remy?"  her voice wasn't accusing, although Gambit thought he heard some sadness in it.

"Got to Jeannie.  T'ings t'do, people t'see.  Y'know how 'tis."

"If you think your 'devil may care', 'Cajun charmer' act is going to get past me, you're either dumber or more forgetful than you look."  Jean stepped into the room, smiling wryly.  "I know you, Remy LeBeau, and you are not just slinking out of here without saying goodbye."

Gambit knew when he was beaten, but couldn't be doing with this now.  "Look, Jean.  We gotta go, OK?  So, here it is – Goodbye.  See y'around"  He made to walk past her but she stepped into his path.

"Remy, I don't know what Beast told you, that's between you, Rogue and him, but I know that you're going to be alright.  You always find a way."

"Not this time, chére."  Gambit's voice was barely a whisper.  Unable to meet her eye, he stared over her head.  "I just gotta…figure it out.  Work out what t'do now."

"No, Remy." Jean's voice was firm.  "You and Rogue have to figure it out.  That's how it works when you're a couple."

"Like you and Scotty y'mean?"  Instantly he regretted it.  "Sapriste, Jeannie, I didn't mean…"

"I know."  If Jean was hurt she covered it well.  "Yes.  Like me and Scott.  We are a brilliant example of how not to do it.  Hell, Remy, you and Rogue have got something good.  Don't let it go just 'cause you're too scared or too stubborn to talk to her."

He finally managed to look down at her.  "Vous aussi, Jean.  [You too, Jean]  Merci, mon amie."  He kissed her on the forehead, settled the bag on his shoulder and left.  Jean looked around the room, psychically picking up his and Rogue's residual presence.  Then, wrapping her arms around herself, she left as well. 

Gambit was almost at the bottom of the stairs when Rogue met him.  She seemed about to speak, but changed her mind and took his hand instead.  Grateful to avoid a scene in front of the various students and X-men in the hall, he stepped down next to her and made his way over to the door.

"T'anks f'everyt'ing, Professor.  I 'preciate all you done."  He shook Xavier's hand and pulled the door open.

"Gambit!"  Beast came loping down the corridor.  Gambit took a deep breath before turning to face him, managing to keep his feelings under control.  "Gambit.  Rogue.  I can't believe you were just going to sneak out without saying goodbye!"  Beast wrapped his arm around Rogue, pulling her into a hug.  Releasing her, he held the same hand out to Gambit.  After a moment's hesitation, Remy took it, his fingers disappearing into the soft fur.  "My friend.  If you need anything, either of you, just call.  And I'll keep working."

The sincerity and sadness in the huge yellow eyes was too much for Gambit.

"Oui, mon ami.  Je sais."  Beast nodded gratefully, apparently satisfied with this answer.  "C'mon, chére.  I wan' t'get back to de city b'fore dark."  Gambit tugged on her hand, and she followed him down the steps, still not saying a word.

Before they pulled away, Gambit raised his hand in farewell to the figures still standing in the doorway.  Then he revved the bike's engine and accelerated down the drive.

The Professor and the Doctor stood for a moment, watching them go.

"What are your chances of finding a treatment, Henry.  Honestly?"

"Honestly, Charles?  Snowballs and hell, my friend.  Snowballs and hell."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sunset

Those I fight, I do not hate,

Those I guard I do not love.

An Irish Airman foresees his death by W B Yeats

They had made it back just as the sun was setting over Central Park.  Rogue had been surprised at Remy having an apartment in such a good neighbourhood and with such a good view.  Then she was surprised that she was surprised.  After all, no-one really knew how much money Remy had or where he kept it.  She knew his houses in the South were impressive, so why shouldn't his one here be as well?  And she had to admit she liked the penthouse.

When they pulled up outside, Rogue mentally rehearsed the conversation they would have.  She would make him talk, he would tell her how he was feeling, they would kiss, make up and go find this girl in the morning.  As she was working all this out, she realized Remy hadn't moved.  Oh well, looked like they were starting here rather than upstairs.

"Yoo-hoo, sugah.  This is our stop."  She swung herself off the bike and removed her helmet.  Remy still didn't move.  He didn't even look at her.  So she tried again.  "You gonna sit there all night?"

"Go on up, Rogue.  I'm jus' gonna.."

"Gonna what?  In case you hadn't noticed, we're in New York, Remy.  You can't exactly take to the wide open highways."

This got a response and he turned his head towards her, face unreadable behind the helmet's visor.  They'd seemed like a good idea at the time, as any accident was far more likely to be fatal without their powers, but Rogue was now regretting the decision.  It made him even more unreadable than usual.  He looked at her in silence for a moment, then killed the engine and took off his helmet.

"You go on up, chére.  I'm gonna take a walk in the park."

"Remy.."

"What?  You scared of muggers?  I'm powerless, Rogue.  Not helpless." 

Counting to five (she didn't have time for ten) Rogue took a deep breath. 

"Ah jus' thought, you know, we could talk, or somethin'.."  She trailed off at the look on his face.

"Not here, ok?  Maybe later.  I will come back, but I jus' gotta…clear m'head, y'know?"  He looked away from her, down the street.  Since it was agree or argue right here and now, Rogue decided to postpone, but not cancel.

"OK, sugah."  She leant over and kissed his cheek.  "Don' go robbin' the Met.  You know they get testy."  This just about got a small smile.  She took his helmet and went into the building, deliberately not looking back.

Once she was gone, Remy looked back at the bike.  It would have been good to take it out now.  To see just how much his reflexes had survived.  To test himself.  But she was right, New York wasn't the place for the speed he needed right now; there was too much chance of hitting something or someone.  Instead he looked up.  As a thief, the rooftops had always been his route of choice, and right now that was the only part of him he had left.

Once high above the city, he felt his head clear.  This was right.  This was familiar.  Up here, there were no X-men, no powers, just him and gravity.  The run was doing him good as well, to remember that this was something he was good at and that his mutant genes couldn't interfere with.  Tumbling to his feet after a satisfyingly risky jump, he stopped to look at the city.  He'd covered most of the block, and would either have to turn back or come down to street level – even he couldn't just jump across a whole street.  Deciding to go with his first impulse, he turned towards the park, forced down to street level, covering the ground quickly, keeping to the shadows and alleys. 

The park was emptying, sensible people heading home before dark.  He walked in, cataloguing the people he passed, assigning them as targets or threats.  He felt as though if he could force his instincts to work hard enough, maybe he could get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach, and forget all the thoughts that were worrying him.  It wasn't working so far, but he could hope. 

As he wandered through the park, he could see the looming outline of the Metropolitan Museum, silhouetted against the setting sun.  It was tempting to try something, just for the fun of it, but Rogue was right, they did tend to have strong feelings about burglars.  Plus the security was so much tighter now.  Even if he'd had all his abilities…

Remy stopped that thought there and then.  He was out here to stop thinking things like that.  And he could still take the Met if he'd wanted to.  He'd just said he wouldn't.  Well, not said exactly.  Implied.  It wasn't like he'd promised, or anything like that.  He just hadn't said he would.  He could.  If he wanted.  Which he didn't.  Much.

Mood lightened a little by the thought, he meandered aimlessly through the park, watching the sensible people get out of the deserted area before dark.  This was his time of day.  He had nothing to fear from anything or anyone here.  He shook his head, smiling.  He was probably what people were afraid of.  He could catalogue them all as they went past, from the students to the lovers to the pushers.  Kind of like Sherlock Holmes, picking up on the little details that told so much.  That made him snort with laughter.  The master thief and the great detective having something in common!  It was no real trick, just looking a bit more closely and actually recognising what you were seeing. 

This was all good. It was distracting, a good reminder of all that he could still do.  This was his world, and nothing could change that.  Settling himself on a bench overlooking the lake, he closed his eyes.  He could hear the wind moving the trees above him, hear the water move in the same breeze.  Hear the distant sounds of the traffic moving up and down the crowded streets.  Hear..

He broke off his reverie, opening his eyes.  He could hear scuffling footsteps, and any minute..  There it was.  A small cry.  Closing his eyes again briefly to get the direction, he broke into a run. 

About twenty metres away a young kid, probably not more than eighteen, was pulling a handbag off a middle-aged lady.  All credit to her, she wasn't giving it up, but Remy knew that could well be a mistake.  The kid didn't look like he was armed, but you never could tell.  They both looked up as they heard his running footsteps.  The surprise froze them both for a moment and the kid recovered first.  He wrenched the bag out of his victim's hands and took off. 

Sparing time for a quick "Scuse me ma'am", Gambit took off after him.  The kid was quick, he had to give him that, but Remy doubted he could keep it up for long.  He was gaining already, as they came round a bend in the path.  The gates of the park weren't far off, and Remy was determined to catch him before that.  It would be too easy to get lost in the late night crowds of the city.  Judging the distance instinctively, he took two long strides, the third taking him up onto a bench, from which he launched himself into the air.  Nothing fancy, just a long, graceful dive.  He came down, hands on the kid's shoulders, bearing them both to the ground.  He felt the boy twist underneath him and smiled grimly.  This was no professional.  It would be much harder to get up from his back than his front.  Planting his hands on the ground, he looked down at his prisoner.

The boy was younger than he'd thought, probably barely sixteen.  He was scrawny and dirty, his baseball cap having come off in the struggle to reveal matted hair that had probably once been blonde.  Remy's stomach clenched – he knew the signs.  This kid probably needed the money more than that woman ever would.  And what right had he to play policeman?  All this hanging around with the X-Men had got him thinking he was some kind of hero.  So here he was, stopping some pathetic boy who probably hadn't eaten properly in days, to help a woman whose thanks would probably die as soon as she got a proper look at Remy's eyes. 

These thoughts took less than two seconds, more like years to the .  The bag was still clenched in his hands and he was terrified boy.  The bag was still clenched between them, as though he expected to use it as a weapon.  Gambit's hands were either side of his head, their faces were barely inches apart.  Give him credit for some nerve, he hadn't cried out or panicked despite his obvious fear.

Gambit shook his head and got to his feet, pulling the boy up as well.  Behind him, he could hear running footsteps.

"You hear dat?  Dat's de woman comin' to get her stuff.  Now, she can have it back, but I've a mind not t'give her you as well, comprends?"  Gambit spoke fast and low, making sure the kid was getting him. 

Although the boy looked uncertain, it would have taken a tougher nut than him to stand up to an angry Gambit, especially when his eyes glowed with their own fire.  Apparently knowing where his best interests lay, he dropped the bag and took to his heels, disappearing around the bend in the path.  Gambit shook his head.  The impressionability of the young, eh?  He bent down and picked up the bag, turning as he rose to meet the now rather red faced lady coming towards him.  He held it out towards her, bowing with a flourish.

"Madame. I believe dis is yours?" 

She took it gratefully. 

"Thank you so much."  Her words were gushing out with relief.  "It's got pictures of my grandson in.  He's only six months old but my daughter's taken him to England with her so who knows when I'll see them again and so for now these are the only things I have of him and there isn't even any money in here as I don't get paid til tomorrow but I've got plenty in the cupboard and I thought it would be quicker through the park and I've been safe here for so many years"  She finally stopped for breath.  "I'm sorry.  I'm just a little shaken."

"Perfectly understandable.  Do you have far to go home?" 

"I'm actually on my way to catch a bus.  I know the metro's quicker but I don't like being underground."  She laughed a little to herself.  "I don't feel safe.  And I thought Fifth Avenue would be.  Silly I guess."

"Not at all, madame."  Gambit flashed his 'no. 5, older lady in need of charming' smile.  "may I escort you to your stop?"

She actually flushed.  "Well.  Well, that would be lovely, if it isn't too much trouble."  Gambit put out his arm and she took it.  "You see, I work...." 

She took up her monologue again, talking of everything and nothing, as they left the park and walked to her stop.  Gambit let his mind take a back seat and immersed himself in her inane chatter.  It was good to talk to someone whose conversation didn't include mutants or thieves or anything even remotely out of the ordinary.  Her normal, rather boring life had just been made far more exciting by a would-be mugger and a handsome stranger.  He decided to let her enjoy it for the time being.

When they reached the bus stop, she was quite out of breath again, this time from talking.  He waited until her bus arrived, and then helped her in, kissing her hand as she went.  She blushed again, and smiled at him, as the rest of the passengers either stared or pretended  not to notice.  The bus doors closed and he was left alone on the dark street.  She had gone back to her life, with just an exciting story and a slightly torn bag to show for her evening's adventure. 

Remy stood for a while at the bus stop, just staring into space.  The unfairness of it all threatened to overwhelm him for a moment, as he found himself envying her mundane life.  Then he thought of the look on the young boy's face.  He'd been there too often himself to have the kid arrested.  Someone else might do that, but not him.  Besides, he did have a home to go to now, and a someone to be there with him.  Of course at the moment that brought troubles of its own, but she would be there when he got back.  He really didn't want to have the conversation tonight, wanting to let it lie for a while.  But knowing Rogue, she'd want to talk, want to confront it head on.  And that was one of the things he loved about her.  She really thought you could sort these things out just by talking about them enough.  Remy he had to give her credit for trying, even if he knew better.

And she was probably going crazy right now, wondering what trouble he'd got himself into this time.  Grinning at the story he'd have to tell her, he turned up the collar of his coat and headed for home.

------------------------------------ ----------------------- ------------------------------------ ------------------------- ------------

Evening

Love is a thing to which we soon consent,

As soon refuse, but sooner far repent

Anonymous

It was completely dark by the time he got back to the apartment.  Taking a deep breath, he opened the door as silently as possible.  The living room inside was dark, the only light coming from the huge window overlooking Central Park, and the faint glow from the city.  Rogue was standing looking out, her arms wrapped around her waist, just gazing out at the scene with her back to him. He was sure he hadn't made any noise, but some instinct must have made her turn as he entered.  With the light behind her, he couldn't make out her expression. He was fairly sure it wasn't good.

He turned his own back on her, hanging his coat up carefully on its hook.  Reaching out he flipped on the light switch, and turned in time to see her squint in the sudden glare.  If he was keeping score, he'd guess it was one apiece. 

"You wait up for me, chère?"

"Just waitin'.  Where'd you go?"

"Jus' to the park."  He smiled again at the memory.  Catching her puzzled glance, he began to tell her about the bag thief and the lady, crossing the room slowly and settling himself on the couch as he did.  She yielded a little as he talked, also coming to the sofa, sitting at the other end. 

"So you didn't go after him?"

"Nah.  No real point, he'd be long gone.  'Sides, I been dere to often m'self to get all saintly about it.  Good turn all round I reckon."

Silence descended for a moment.  Rogue fiddled with the belt of her robe, while Remy became strangely fascinated by the picture above the fire place.  In his head he began counting, and had got to twelve when he heard Rogue draw in breath to speak.  Here it came.

"You gonna tell me, or am I gonna have to fight it out of you?"

"Tell you what, Rogue?" 

She gave him her special 'now you've annoyed me' glare.  "Play innocent with everyone else, Remy, but not with me."

He sighed.  Did she and Logan use the same scriptwriter?  Looked like they were having the conversation whether he wanted to or not. 

"OK.  I give in.  What is it you wan' t'know?"  He still didn't look at her, keeping his eyes fixed on the colourful swirls of the painting.

"What was it that spooked you so much in Beast's lab?"

Remy was surprised into glancing across at her.  That hadn't been the expected question, and they both knew it.  Well, if she wanted to go the long route for once, that was fine with him. 

"I jus' been in too many of those places.  All metal an' plastic an' beeping.  It just creeps me out, dat's all."  Her look clearly told him to keep going.  "An'…."  He took a deep breath.  Here we go, no turning back now.  "It reminded me of Sinister's.  Last time I had trouble wit' m'powers, I had t'go t'him.  Hanks' lab, it just brought back bad memories, that's all."

Rogue seemed to turn the answer over in her mind, to make sure it made sense from every angle.  Apparently satisfied, she pressed on.

"OK.  Ah'll buy that.  So.  What happens now, Remy?  Where do we go from here?"

He looked away from her again. 

"What happened to 'one day at a time', eh, chére?"

"It was good.  It was better than good.  Remy," she moved down the couch towards him, "Ah don' wanna fight.  Hell, I don' wan' to have this conversation any more than you do, but we knew we'd have to at some point.  We both have responsibilities, and we couldn't just ignore them forever."

"Dat's de problem, ain't it?"  He made no effort to curb the anger rising in him, strengthening his accent, knowing it annoyed her.  "You get to go back to de job, wear de uniform, be an X-man.  Me?  I got de Guild at m'back, wond'rin' if they made an almighty mistake makin' me their leader.  De two paths, they're movin' away from each other.  An' there's no way to bring them back."

"No."  Rogue spoke quietly, her voice firm.  She reached out and turned his face towards her, keeping her hand on his cheek.  "Ah fought too damn hard for this relationship.  Don' do this to me again, Remy.  Don' run away again." 

He opened his mouth to speak, only to find he didn't have the words.  She had opened the closed topic, and the monster of that day was rearing its ugly head again.  Looking in her eyes, he realised just how much she meant this, just how determined she was to make this relationship work, no matter what.  He copied her gesture, raising his own hand to her face.

"I know what dis means t'you, Rogue.  An' it does t'me too."

"Really?  You could've fooled me."  When he started to pull his hand away, she grasped at it.  "No, Remy, you do not get away with this one. Either this relationship means the same t'both of us, or we may as well jus' give it up now.  You can hate what Ah did, but we had another shot, we had our better times.  Ah refuse to believe that you don' feel the same."  Although she hadn't raised her voice, the intensity in it was overwhelming him. 

Pulling away, he got to his feet, standing at the window as she had done.  The lights of the city were distant, twinkling.  The scene was like something on a postcard, something somehow unreal.  What was he supposed to say?  He heard her get up as well, felt her arms go around his waist, her head rest against his back.

"Ah'm sorry."  She hugged him to her.  "But Ah have t'know, Remy.  Ah'm willin' to try and make a go of this, to find a way.  But Ah can't do it on ma own."

"You managed fine before."  He pulled away from her and turned.  He didn't care now, it was too late to worry about saying the right thing.  She'd started this conversation and she was the one who'd wanted to know.  "You didn't ask, did ya?  You just go ahead an' do whatever you t'ink is de right thing t'do and blow de consequences.  You decided that we deserved better, you decided it was time to live not die, you brought me back."  He almost choked on the last part, but swallowed and kept going.  "An' now you wan' me to tell you dat it's all gonna be ok.  Well, sorry chére, it don't work like dat.  You got a future, hell, I might even have a future, but right now, I don' know that WE do."

"So that's it."  She was angry too, now.  "You're just goin' to call it quits now, after all we said and did?  No way, Remy.  No.  Way.  Yes, Ah was selfish.  Yes, Ah made the decision.  Ah also did what was best for us.  For US, Remy.  Even when there wasn't an us, Ah did my best for us."  She was running out of rage now, the hurt taking over.  "Ah may have screwed up lots before, Remy, but not on this.  We were, we are worth it.  People always look at Scott and Jean, say they're the perfect couple.  Well Ah want that with us, only we won't unless you start pulling your weight as well."

Gambit decided not to point out the problem with using Scott and Jean as an example at the moment, but changed his mind.  That would be too much like breaking a confidence.  And he'd really had enough of this conversation.  Capitulation might hurt the pride, but at the moment, it was the easiest and best option.

"Look, Rogue, chèrie.  I don' want t'hurt you.  I never did.  An' I'm doin' m'best here, believe it or not.  This is jus' one thing too much at de moment.  Life I can cope with.  Life not being how it was, I'm goin' to take a bit of time t'get used to." 

"Life as it was?  Remy, in case you've forgotten, in life as it was, WE weren't."

He had to smile at that.  "I don' promise anyt'in'.  Like before.  One day at a time?"

She looked far from satisfied, realising that was the best she was going to get for the moment.

"OK.  One day at a time.  Ah'm warning you, Remy LeBeau, you do a snail impression on me again, an' I'll…." 

Whatever she was planning was lost as he pulled her against him.  When they broke for air, he murmured, "Got t'do dis while we can.  B'fore you get y'powers back an'…."

She pulled back, the pain clear in her eyes.

"Don't, OK?  Just don't.  Just be here.  Now."  And she kissed him again.