Chapter 3.5

What did he hear? How did he hear Nikolas call me Invidia? What the bloody hell am I going to do now? Ron wants to know why I flipped about Jalen. Malfoy's a complete ass, and I don't think he's going to give up wanting to know about Nikolas and me. What the hell am I supposed to do? Why can't everything go back to the way it was - before today? When my life was happy, perfect . . .

FUCK. Who the hell do I think I'm kidding? My life? Perfect? What a load of . . .

I don't know. I don't know what to do, what to say, how to feel. I don't know. Malfoy I can ignore. Just because we're sharing the Tower together, doesn't mean we're going to become best friends or anything. He'll just have to ask Nikolas, who promised not to tell…

Like I've ever been able to trust him. I used to think I could. I used to think he was my soul mate, my one true love, my best friend . . . I used to love him . . .

DAMN IT! I HATE HIM! IHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIMIHATEHIM!

So why do I still feel like I love him?

DAMN IT NO! It's not possible.

I'll tell them. I'll tell Ron and Harry and Ginny. Not all of it, just a little. I'll tell them about Stefen, but not about Nikolas and not about Jalen. It's too soon for that. I'll tell them . . . someday.

Maybe.