Chapter 4.5
Stefen. Merlin, how I've missed you. It's been so long since I've allowed myself to think of you, so long since I've been able to talk to you. Mum and Dad refuse to talk about what happened, they refuse to even mention you – at least not in front of me. It's like you've never existed.
I know that they miss you at least as much as I do, so why won't they talk about you?
Stefen! Why did you have to die? You should be here! You should have been there for me – been there to prevent everything that's happened.
If only you had survived instead of me. Mum and Dad would never have had reason to be ashamed of me, never would've threatened to take Hogwarts away from me.
I know they haven't done that in years, but it still hurts, knowing that they trusted me so little all those years ago, knowing that if I had gotten in trouble – even once – with Harry and Ron, that I would never have been allowed to return to Hogwarts.
Of course, I can't blame them. I did little to deserve their trust after everything that I did and put them through.
I've missed you, Stefen. For a long time, I felt like I hated you, like it was your fault that you died instead of me and that I was being punished for surviving.
I know that's not true. I know that it wasn't my time yet, but it doesn't make the pain any less.
