Two hours later the babies were still sleeping peacefully after having had lunch and Monica was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the individual cakes that she had made for them. Upstairs Chandler was seated in front of Monica's make-up mirror attempting to apply his clown make-up, under strict orders from Monica to not mess it up. He had taken a moment to check the internet for ideas, but after running across one too many clown-porn sites, he decided just to wing it.
He was already wearing the bright red clown suit and big blue shoes, and reflected that the only other time he had felt like such a jackass was when his father had made him dress in a yellow rain-slicker and galoshes to dance back-up for him during a performance of "It's Raining Men". And at least then the only make-up he had to wear was pancake facial makeup to keep the glare off of his forehead from the stage lights.
Chandler shuddered at the thought and picked up the white face paint, wondering why his father never felt this uncomfortable in his make-up. Deciding that he didn't really want the answer to that question, he hesitantly began applying the paint, thanking Monica silently for reminding him to shave before attempting to apply it. After applying the paint, he moved on to drawing the enhanced smiling mouth around his own. It didn't look too bad, he thought–he may even actually have done a good job with applying the make-up so far. Hoping that ability wasn't actually genetic (and figuring that if it was he had certainly gained the gene from BOTH of his parents), he opened a package with eye make-up crayons, looking to the back for some guide of how to apply it.
"How's it coming, honey?" Monica asked, entering the room just as he was trying to decide whether or not to go with hearts around his eyes like the clown on the package.
Chandler turned and Monica squealed, running over to inspect the make-up. "Oh, you look great!" she cried, "Here, let me help…" Monica took the crayon from him and also made the decision for him, drawing a few small hearts near the crease of his right eye. She then placed the red nose over his own nose, and helped him to pull on his blue wig.
"Oh," Monica sighed, seeing him completely pulled together as a clown for the first time, "Jack and Erica are going to love this! Thank God we bought that new digital camera and photo printer doc! I think I'm going to get a lot of good shots today."
Chandler had to admit that he didn't look too bad, in fact, the whole effect was kind of...cute. Oh, God, there he went again...it seemed that ever since the babies had been born that his vocabulary had undergone a real change. Words he had rarely used before, such as precious, adorable, and cute had popped up and he couldn't seem to stop using them. And that was fine, in regards to the babies, or even Monica, but when it came to using the words for himself...
Thankfully, he was pulled out of his reverie by the sound of the doorbell. Erica's cried out from the noise, and Monica headed for the nursery while Chandler was left to answer the door. He stopped to pick up an oversized blow-up hammer that came with the costume and walked to the door, pulling it open to reveal Ross, Rachel, and Emma, all of whom looked at him with blank expressions.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Ross said, grinning evilly, "I was looking for my sister's house. Not Bozo's."
"Ha, ha," Chandler fake laughed, "very funny, Ross. Don't make me hit you with my hammer," he said, holding up the prop. "It's nice, however, to see you, Rachel. And you, Emma," he said, bending down to tickle the little girl with his free hand.
Emma laughed and lifted her arms for her uncle to lift her up. She honked his nose and asked excitedly, "Can you make me a balloon animal like the clown at the zoo?"
Rachel, skirting past Chandler, patted him on the shoulder. "Good luck with that," she said, winking at him, "but I do like what you've done with your make-up."
Emma's giggles drowned out Ross's guffaws.
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"Oh, Rachel," Monica cried, holding up Jack in his little sailor suit and admiring Erica in her matching sailor dress, "I love their little birthday outfits. Thank you so much."
Rachel grinned, smoothing down Erica's dress from where she sat in her lap, and made room for Emma who was also trying to fit into her mother's lap.
Ross sat on the couch next to a heavily pregnant Phoebe, and she was explaining that Mike was visiting his ill mother and couldn't attend the party. "It's just as well," Phoebe said, running a hand over her extended abdomen, "these parties can be real snoozers sometimes."
Ross nodded, ignoring the glare Monica was sending him. "Rach and I actually had other plans..." he said, and Phoebe sat up in rapt attention.
"Were you going to propose?" Phoebe shrieked, looking over at Rachel and flashing her a thumbs up.
Ross nodded, but widened his eyes at Phoebe, nodding towards Rachel and making a slashing 'no' motion with his hands. Phoebe nodded and winked, while Rachel looked down at Erica and began fussing with her dress, pretending she hadn't heard anything at all.
"But," Ross continued, "we're happy to be here with our little niece and nephew on their first birthday."
Phoebe cleared her throat, but smiled over at Jack and Erica. "Of course," she stage whispered, "but really–what's the ring look like?"
Jack and Judy Geller stood in the doorway with Chandler, Judy very obviously straining to hear what Ross was telling Phoebe and Jack waving and making silly faces at his little namesake. They were still waiting for Chandler's mother to arrive before they could begin the party. Joey was unable to leave the filming of his TV show to come to the party, but Nora, on book-tour in nearby Connecticut, said she wouldn't miss the party for the world. She was even bringing her new boyfriend, the pirate model from the cover of her book. Chandler couldn't wait to meet him, and at his children's birthday party nonetheless.
Little Jack toddled over to his grandfather, raising his arms to be picked up, and as Judy finally went over to sit next to Ross Jack moved closer to Chandler. Little Jack reached over and helpfully removed his father's wig, throwing it to the ground and laughing, pointing to it with his chubby finger. Chandler laughed and reached down to pick it up, just as the doorbell rang to announce his mother's arrival. He jammed the wig back on his head, and pinched his son's nose, before he headed for the door, opening it to reveal his mother in a skin-tight leopard print dress kissing a well muscled young man.
They broke apart, the young man blushing, and Nora looked closely at Chandler for a moment, trying to discern if the clown was, in fact, her son. After a moment she threw her arms around him.
"Hello, darling!" she cried, "We're here! This is Juan, my lover. Sorry we're late…we were a bit…busy this morning." Nora laughed, winking at Juan. "Now, where are my darling grandchildren?"
Chandler gestured behind him and Nora and Juan squeezed past him into the house. Turning to follow behind them he noticed that Juan had his hand on his mother's ass. As they walked into the family room, Chandler cringed. Could his children's birthday party get any more interesting?
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a/n: Okay, this part ended up really being filler to get me to the next, and last, section. I had to get all the guests to the party. Joey will make an appearance in the next chapter, just not in-person. I can't wait to write that part—it's going to be really fun, I think! I can't believe today is May 6…one year since Friends went off the air. I still miss it!
