Originally, I thought I'd make this a one shot, but now it will be a four-part fic! And only four parts… Thank you to all reviewers! And don't worry if I skip around the timeline a bit. You won't be the only one confused…
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.
Live is hard for those who must live perfect ones.
Neo-Queen Serenity sighed as she slid into the couch next to her bed. How true those words were. Whispered to her by a decrepit old man before he died, and they were the most influential words she had heard in her entire life.
Considering the fact that she was five thousand years old (give or take a few hundred years) this was a very big deal.
On a table in front of her was a champagne bottle, and next to it, a glass half filled with the sparkling substance. She glanced back and forth between the two, and grimaced.
She had nowhere to be, and nothing to do. Despite the fact that she was Queen of Crystal Tokyo, her duties were not much. In fact, her dearest King accomplished most of the work.
But he had changed, as had her senshi. No longer were they teenagers unburdened by grim work details. Now, they were Royal Doctors of the First Degree, Matchmaker Royale (Minako just wouldn't leave it alone, she wanted the title so badly along with her title as Second-In-Command.), Official Spiritual Advisor, Royal Martial Arts Sensei, Royal Music Instructor, Royal Sword Training Instructor… The list went on and on. She wasn't afraid to admit that halfway along; she had started making up the titles.
King Endymion now spent less and less time at home. It had started a few months ago. Now he was barely there, only to receive important guests or to discuss business with the senshi.
Serenity sighed once more and picked at a golden thread. Chibiusa was doing fine. The girl was strong, in a way she had never imagined. Time apart from her father had somehow made her closer to him. She never understood why her mother didn't seem to miss him.
But she did miss him. The Neo-Queen missed the Neo-King much more than anyone could understand. But she didn't show it. If he chose not to return someday, she wouldn't show she was upset. Because every time he whispered sweet nothings to her, her stomach twisted uncomfortably. Every time he would hold her hand, it itched as if it were covered in ants. One emotion wormed its way past all the others, tearing at every thread of her being.
Guilt.
The overwhelming guilt, that she felt she did not deserve him. He had married a murderer, helped to crown her Queen over the Earth, and had thus brought her entire meaning of existence crumbling to it's knees.
Murderer…no one called her so, and yet she felt she saw it in their eyes. She had killed, to gain this power. Her child was born in a land vehemently brought down, and made to worship her as they would a goddess.
"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been a day since my last confession…"She winced, alone in her room at the memory. The priest had been kind, and never asked questions. Well…there had been some. The first time she had come.
"Proceed, my child."
"Father, I have killed. I have killed several times, and I know I will do it several times more. Each time I do it, no one cares or notices. I get only praise for that which I have done."
The silence behind the screen was deafening, and she was about to check if he had fainted when he answered her.
"Are you telling me the truth?"
"Yes, Father."
"…It is a bit—hard—for me to understand this. How is it that you have killed so much and yet you can speak of it so steadily? You are young—how old?"
"Fourteen, Father."
"Fourteen years is hardly an appropriate age to do such things…"
"I am sorry to interrupt Father, but I did not ask for lectures. I came for penance. Will you give me that, so that I may be forgiven?"
"My child…turn yourself into the police, or stop the killings immediately."
"No! Father, I cannot. To do so would mean the death of hundreds, thousands, all those care for!"
"I can't say anything else."
"But…is there no other way?"
"Unless you should bring all those you had killed back to life, then no."
"But they are evil! They would kill much more than I have or ever will!"
"Then cleanse them. For now, say the rosary twice a day and do not sin in any other way."
"…To cleanse them…is it so impossible that you would order me to do it, Father?"
"I believe you to have great prowess, my child. I do not doubt that you shall try. You are absolved of your sins, but now, only momentarily."
"Is that possible, Father?"
He laughed. "If a fourteen year old can kill hundreds, then I believe if she searches for it, redemption will be found."
He had died, on a cold August morning, in the year 3024. He had lived so long only because he was caught and frozen in the period before Crystal Tokyo came into being. The Neo-Queen had gone to his funereal, and only there had she realized she had never known his name.
There were a few mourners there. Some nuns and a few parishioners. No family to speak of. Serenity was angry; violently angry, in fact. The world would live and die again before she would forget this man, who had helped her so well in the past.
The tombstone read simply, "Michael Thomas Smith, Beloved priest and friend to all." She had almost thrown up. Such a normal name; such a normal life, until she had stumbled into it.
The pain stabbed at her again. She did that a lot. Stumbling into people's lives, taking away their freedom so she could be happy… The senshi and Mamorou were perfect, living examples. Who knows what they could have achieved had they not been held back by her damned future and past, written in stone for all eternity?
"Past and future is not always etched firmly in the rock, Highness."
The Neo-Queen did not look up from the thread she was still picking at. "What are you getting at, Pluto?"
The Guardian of Time stepped out from behind the bed, where she had been quietly observing her Queen. "We've had this conversation before, Usagi. You may change several things in the timeline, but you risk injuring your future, and your daughter's."
"I really don't want to hear this right now."
Pluto rolled her eyes, and in a rare show of emotion, flopped down on the couch and drank the contents of the glass. "You give me such a headache sometimes."
Serenity regarded her curiously. "Can you say that to me without being beheaded?" the two burst into laughter. Pluto soon resumed her stoic expression.
"See? This is what you need. Something unexpected to happen! I have done so, and it hasn't affected the timeline in the least."
"But I thought you sad—,"
"I have said many things." Pluto interrupted gently. "But it doesn't always mean I'm right. I must return to the time gates now, Usagi."
The Neo-Queen resumed spending time with her thread. "You know you're the only one who calls me Usagi now, right? They all call me Serenity, or Neo-Queen."
Pluto shrugged. "Names do not make a person." And she vanished.
Serenity wrinkled her nose. The thread had snapped. Without a word she sat up, and in one fluid motion, had filled the glass about a quarter full. Once more she contemplated the glass and bottle.
"Something unexpected…"
Hours later, Sailor Mars decided to check in on her Queen. What she found was a snoring Serenity on the couch, one bottle of champagne clutched tightly in her hand. On the table was a glass, filled with a bit of the drink.
It seems it's a mad world after all.
I put a drunk scene in there, with Neo-Queen Serenity basically acting like she had nothing better to do then flash her kingdom, but a friend of mine made me take it out. Blast you, Nikki-chan! Ah well…two more parts after this, minna. I'm gonna go work on Wish Upon A Goddess so I don't get killed.
