Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon; never have, never will.
"Can you find the star, Serenity?"
"I can't see it Mama! It's nowhere! It's gone!"
"Shh, hush now. Look closely, and be patient. An answer will always be found if you wait. Wait a moment…now do you see it?"
"Yes, mama! It's right there, by the Earth!"
"A beautiful planet, and yet so steeped in it's sins…"
"What does that mean, Mama?"
"Some people do bad things to save the ones they love. Pray that you never have to, Serenity. Now come on, I heard the Mercurians have invented a new breed of plant that blooms right before your eyes!"
"Let's go, Mama! I wanna see it!"
"Such innocence…let us go, then."
"Tsukino-san, if I have to call your name again, you will receive another detention!"
Usagi blinked and looked up from her memory. "Huh?"
Haruna-sensei snorted. "Tsukino-san, you've been asleep for the whole class period, and have finished none of your work! You have already received a detention, but as I have other…priorities to attend to, you will attend it tomorrow. Class is dismissed!"
Usagi got up with the other members of her class, and found herself to be feeling strangely emotionless after the rather embarrassing display.
"Usagi! Usagi!"
She turned, half expecting to see Makoto or Minako, crying about some new exchange student. Instead, Naru shyly stepped up to her and handed her a piece of paper.
"It's the homework for today, Usagi. I didn't want you to forget it and not be able to do it."
Usagi took the paper, and eyed Naru warily. "Why not Usagi-chan, Naru-chan?"
Naru blushed visibly. "Well…it's been a while, and I wasn't…"
"Forget it." Usagi gave her a quick hug. "We'll always be friends, Naru, always, no matter what happens. But why should you care about the homework and me? I just won't do it, or I will and I'll fail."
"Don't say that!" Naru's voice rang out, startling them both. "It's not right, Usagi! You're smart, everyone should know that! But you hide behind this curtain—this mask—and you think no one can see you. But we all do, Usagi. We all do."
Usagi stared for a moment. Her eyes grew wide, and a single tear fell, creating a salty trail down her now pale face.
"It was supposed to be a secret…" she smiled sadly at Naru, who said nothing. The Odango-ed blonde quickly spun around, walking down the hallway as if nothing had ever happened.
As if, in that single moment, all of her walls hadn't come crashing down.
"All around me are familiar faces…" Usagi sang softly, pushing at the sand in front of her with her toe. She let the swing she was sitting on go back a little, before going forward and making more lines in the sand. A pair of headphones was nestled snugly on her head, as she sang a song that had been imprinted in her heart long ago.
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cause I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarged in your world
Mad world
"Singing your sorrows away, Odango?" She stiffened. Not now…she couldn't face him now…
"Look at me, Usako." She did so, and she was shocked to see the worry evident in his eyes.
"What is wrong with you?" He leaned closer, so that their noses were barely touching. To her surprise, he gently pried the CD player from her hands and opened it.
"Tears for Fears? Mad World?" He read the titles aloud, no doubt thinking them some sort of teenage rock band with no pitch, but when he removed the headphones from her head and fit them on his own, his smile slowly faded.
Usagi scuffed the sand again as the song finished, and he stared at her in disbelief. When he didn't say anything, she spoke first.
"What is it that surprises you about that song?" She didn't expect him to answer, but he did anyways.
"'I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.'" He made a sound that sounded curiously like he was trying not to cry. "Do you remember, when you said that your dreams were to grow up and marry me? You said those were the nights when you felt like never waking up. Were you lying, Usako?"
She looked away. "I can't lie. It's not me; it's not Usagi."
He couldn't say anything as in the next moment a loud cry startled them. They both looked up in time to see a bright flash of light.
"We'll finish this later."
She looked back at him, and was hurt. Couldn't he tell, if he really loved her, that she didn't want to finish it? But she henshined and he followed soon after.
They arrived to find a youma terrorizing a group of people, some sort of club probably. Tuxedo Kamen immediately flew into action, and the senshi soon joined him. But Sailor Moon was frozen in place.
Behind the youma, she could see the lake. The setting sun reflecting off of it made it looked almost like it was filled with blood. Then she looked back at the youma and realized; she couldn't kill it.
"Sailor Moon! Dust it!" Mars was screaming at her. Moon shook her head.
"Can't…just can't…don't you see?" But they were all yelling at her, crying for her to kill it…to murder it in cold blood. She was too blinded by tears to realize what the youma was doing, and couldn't hear the warning cries.
The next thing she knew, she was under the water, going down. Something was dragging her deeper. With a start, she realized it was the youma. She could hear faint splashes, then nothing else.
What had startled her so, and made her unable to finish off the youma, was tha fact that it had been the exact replica of the one thing she couldn't harm.
A child.
"Masks! You hide behind masks!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"An answer will always be found if you wait."
"Dust it, Sailor Moon!"
"Can't…just can't…"
"I'm sorry…I just wanted to stop…"
"Do you truly wish to be forgiven?"
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned…"
"You must cleanse all those that you have killed, after bringing them back to life."
"I can't…"
"Redemption…"
Redemption…Usagi spluttered, and coughed up the water lodged in her throat. She leaned over, and gagged.
"I'm sorry."
She looked up, frightened, and saw the child youma staring at her. It had big, blue eyes and long black hair. It reached a hand up.
"I didn't mean to hurt you…"
Usagi hesitated, before taking the hand offered. The youma did nothing, but a smile lit its face, and fangs appeared.
"You're the one who can bring us all back! Will you help us?"
Usagi shook her head, and as she did so, realized she had somehow de-transformed. "Where are my—What happened?"
The youma-child grinned widely. "I took you with me, where I sit. This is my thinking spot…Beryl says I can't be here, and she said I wasn't supposed to go out of the palace, but they said it's ok…"
"They? Wait, where are we?" Usagi looked around, and found nothing but darkness. In front of them was a solitary mirror, tall and with ornate woodcarvings. Somehow, it seemed to radiate melancholia.
"My mommy and daddy died, and they're here now."
A pang of guilt forced its way into Usagi's mind, writhing and squirming until she thought she would fall over from the pain.
"How did they die?" She didn't want an answer. She didn't want the child to look at her with broad eyes and whisper:
"You killed them."
Somehow, she had expected it. She hadn't wanted it to happen, but she always knew there was a day when she'd have to face her sins. And here they were, in the form of a youma-child and a mirror. She was surrounded by darkness, one that matched her soul perfectly. She had never hated herself more.
"Mommy and Daddy will explain."
She didn't pause to wonder how they could do so if they were dead. In her grief filled state, she let the girl push the mirror to her, and she peered inside apathetically. What she saw startled her.
At first she saw herself, in many forms. As Sailor Moon, and as Usagi. Behind them she could see several others in formal dress, and although she didn't understand it, she grasped that they were her in some other time.
"Hi."
The images disappeared, and the furry youma she had fought before super-imposed them. She scrambled back, and the youma laughed.
"So, the mighty one who vanquished me is uneasy around me, the vanquished one?"
Usagi shook her head. "I'm sorry…I didn't know, and I just wanted to make it all better…"
"No matter." The youma said dismissively. "The girl you see behind you is my daughter. I am her mother. Her father was killed on the moon, as were all the other men. They died at the hands of your family and friends. We woman youma decided to avenge ourselves. Heh. Look at where it got us; stuck in a mirror or with Beryl. Not much of a choice."
"I'm sorry," Usagi began again, but the youma cut her off.
"Don't be. This is actually a helluva lot better. Beryl is a pain in the—sorry, I forgot Ileyana was here—butt."
"Ileyana," Usagi cogitated. "Is that her name?"
The youma nodded. "Mine was Liana, and her father's was Ardor."
"What do you mean, was?"
Liana sighed. "We were so happy, in the Silver Millennium. Then Beryl came, spouting lies about how the prince had been kidnapped. And we believed her! Ardor went off to fight in that stupid war, along with all the other men. He died in the last battle. I don't know how Beryl did it, but she had changed the men and she changed us, molding our memories so that we began to despise you. You're actually quite nice."
"Er…thank you?"
"Don't mention it." The youma smiled, baring fangs like Ileyana's. "We're all quite happy, that you've killed our earthen forms I mean. It means we have control over our bodies. Ileyana hasn't entered training to become a mindless droid yet, and I was hoping you could help us before that."
Usagi blushed. "Um, I really have no idea as to what I should be doing…"
Liana's laugh was loud and booming. "Of course you don't! I'm getting ahead of myself!" Then her face grew serious.
"You have the power to save us, and to bring us salvation. You can help us, and when the time comes, we will be freed, and reborn as you were."
"How?" Usagi was ecstatic. The very thing she had wanted to do! But her heart fell at Liana's next words.
"I don't know, really. That's up to you." Footsteps fell, and her brow furrowed. "That's a guard. Hurry now, Ileyana will take you back. Be careful!"
"Wait—," Usagi cried, but her world feel into darkness once more. The last thing she saw was Ileyana's face, looking fearful.
"Salvation…"
"…Cleanse them…"
"She's my daughter…"
"You can help us!"
"Mommy…Daddy…"
"Such innocence…""Usagi!"
She came to, and found Minako shaking her worriedly.
"Oh, thank the Gods you're ok!" Minako pulled back, and now she found the others running after her. Mamorou fell to his knees.
"Usako, are you alright? If that youma touched you—,"
"Don't talk about Ileyana that way! She's just a child!" They stared at her in surprise as she stood up and swayed.
"Usagi-chan, are you alright?" Ami made as if to help her, but she pushed her away.
"We've killed innocents…I can't believe you." Without another word, she stumbled away, leaving her friends bewildered.
Ami rubbed at her arm. "Do you think they've turned her over to their side?"
Minako sighed. "I think it's her mind that's turning her. She seems so distant…so far away…maybe it would do us and her some good to leave her alone."
"Are you kidding?" Mamorou asked. "Leave her alone? She could be killed, and she'd be devastated!"
"I think some part of her died a long time ago, Mamorou-kun. It's up to her now to get it back." Rei murmured, and walked away.
Usagi had perplexed them indeed.
