Disclaimer: As much as I'd like to pretend, The O.C. still isn't mine. Neither are the actors. I'm trying very hard to deal.

A/N: As always, maddest of mad props to 60schic for the beta. She's a star. Also thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it!

A/N: I hang out at LiveJournal under bluestargirl6. You're all more than welcome to stop by there and say hi.

Part 5

"What's going on?" Seth demanded. "What's taking so long?"

"Let the doctors work," Sandy advised.

"What could they possibly be doing in there?" Seth continued pacing, "Building a new Ryan?"

"Cohen, geez, chill," Luke suggested.

"Seth, I'm sure everything's fine," Kirsten tried to soothe her son as he paced past her.

"How could you possibly know that?" he demanded. "When did you get your medical degree?"

"Seth Ezekiel Cohen!" Sandy barked. "Quit being a shit to your mother."

"Sandy!" Kirsten exclaimed.

Summer stepped into the path of Seth's pacing. "Cohen, chill," she instructed calmly.

Seth stopped in front of her.

"Listen to me, okay?" he nodded. "Right now, Ryan's okay. The doctors would have said something if he wasn't. No news is good news."

"I don't- "

"Ssh. You're listening right now," Summer reminded her friend. "Ryan's okay. You pacing around and being mean to people is not helping anyone. It's certainly not helping Ryan."

Summer reached for Seth's arm. "I know you're scared, but this isn't the way to deal with it. Come talk to me, okay Cohen?"

Seth nodded and allowed Summer to pull him to a vacant bit of hallway well within sight of Ryan's room. They sat together on the floor.

"What the hell Cohen?" despite the words, Summer's voice was calm.

"Summer my best friend is lying in a hospital bed!"

"I get that," she said gently, "and my best friend is lying in the morgue. It's really really hard, but being bitchy isn't going to help anything."

"I just…" Seth curled his hands into fists, tensed his fists, scrunched his face, and shook as he screamed silently.

Summer placed her hands on his shoulders, pulled him to her. He rested his forehead on her shoulder as she ran her hands soothingly down his back.

"It's okay baby, it's okay. Just talk to me. Tell me anything. Tell me what you're thinking right this second."

"I want you," Seth blurted honestly, arms wrapping around Summer's slender torso. "God, I need you so bad."

Summer stopped rubbing Seth's back but didn't pull away.

"And you have me. As a friend."

"I screwed up Summer. I know that. Why can't you just forgive me?" Seth pleaded into the curve of Summer's neck.

"Cohen, I forgave you a long time ago. You know that. But we… we're in different places right now."

Seth sat up. Met Summer's eyes. "My best friend is dying. Your best friend is dead. We couldn't possibly be in more similar places."

"And kissing me would make things better?" Summer wondered.

Seth snorted.

"Seriously. If I told you to kiss me right now what would happen?"

"The world would make sense again. It would stop spinning," Seth leaned towards Summer.

"Baby, I wish that were true. I wish that us kissing would wake Ryan up, bring back Coop. But it won't," Summer pushed Seth lightly backwards.

"Summer," Seth smacked the floor in frustration.

"Seth!" Summer imitated him.

"You think I'm being a selfish little brat, don't you?"

"Honey, it's not like I don't understand," Summer reiterated. "Me? Of all people I get how scary it is to feel like your best friend is slipping away. But you have to deal. You have to."

"I'm scared."

"I know," Summer took his hand. "I know. But it'll be okay."

"How are you so okay right now?" Seth needed to know. "Marissa… It hasn't even been a day and you're sitting here, holding my hand, telling me you're sad, but fully in control. I don't understand. How are you doing it?"

Summer rolled her eyes.

"Cohen. I forget how to breathe," she pointed out. "You have to remind me."

"Yeah? So?"

"Well as Luke pointed out earlier, that isn't exactly a normal reaction to grief. Yeah, right this second I'm doing okay. Nothing in this room is overwhelmingly reminding me of Coop. The scent of my shampoo is miraculously not making me want to cry. But that's right now. I can't guarantee that in the next ten seconds something's not going to set me off," Summer sighed. "I feel so fucking fragile right now."

"You're the strongest person I know."

"Cohen."

"Seriously. You're the bravest, craziest, strongest person I know," Seth said sincerely.

"Ryan's your best friend. How can you possibly think I'm stronger than him?"

"Because you aren't lying in a hospital bed hiding from all of this," Seth gestured around the room with his free hand.

"He was in a car accident!"

"Still. Coward. He doesn't do emotional scenes well."

"I can't believe that you think Ryan's unconscious because he doesn't want to deal with the repercussions of the accident," Summer shook her head.

"Oh come on Miss Candy-striper. You know people can choose to remain unconscious if they don't want to deal with stuff."

"No. No I don't know that Cohen. I think you're making it up."

"I am not. It's a proven fact."

"Proven by who?"

"Ryan Atwood for one."

"Whatever Cohen," Summer cracked a smile. "You're so full of it."

"I… uh…"

Summer took the opportunity to change the subject.

"Need to go apologize to your mother? Yes. You do." Summer released Seth's hand. "Go now. Shoo."

Seth got up and sauntered towards his mother. Stopped. Glanced back at Summer who made shooing motions with her hands. Continued towards his mom.

"Mommy," he said softly, staring at the floor. "I'm scared."

"It's okay Seth. I understand."

Seth met his mother's eyes. "You're awesome, but that doesn't make me being a jerk okay. I'm really, really sorry."

Kirsten embraced Seth. "I forgive you."

"So, why didn't you go for it?" Luke stood next to where Summer was sitting on the floor.

Summer looked up. "Go for what?"

Luke gestured at Seth and back at Summer. He pursed his lips in a parody of kissing.

"Luke," Summer sighed. "I have a boyfriend. I like my boyfriend, I'm happy with him. It isn't a grand love affair, but it's okay. Good even."

"So? You aren't married. You aren't chained to anyone. Seriously, break up with Zach and Seth will come running."

"That's not the point," Summer told Luke, still looking up at him. "Will you come down here? My neck hurts."

Luke slid to the floor obligingly. "You were saying?"

"Uhh… oh! Me and Seth. We're old. Over. Done. This… thing, it's a bond. It's old friends seeking comfort. It isn't love. It isn't anything to build a relationship on. It's a ghost."

"You sure? 'Cause I saw you talking. I see you with him, how you treat him, how you take care of him, and if that isn't love Summer…" Luke shook his head.

"Yeah, but it's… We were together for like three months and we broke up twice. It's easy to idealize now, but if my father could come between us, what kind of relationship did Seth and I really even have?"

"I don't know. A good one?"

"Hey, Luke?"

"Yes Summer?"

"Why are you pushing this me-and-Seth thing?" Summer asked.

"I don't know."

"Luke."

"Really, I don't. I… maybe with Marissa dead and Ryan hurt I want to see two of my friends happy. Maybe I don't think you're happy with Zach and I know Cohen would be happier with you. Is it wrong to want you guys happy?" Luke asked.

Summer turned to face him.

"No. Of course it isn't. I want you happy too. But, maybe in the long run hooking up with Seth won't make me as happy as staying with Zach. What about that?"

Luke sighed. "I don't know Summer. I don't know fucking anything right now. This whole thing is so surreal. Seriously? She's dead?"

"Yeah Luke."

"I can't… I fucking can't…"

"You want to see her?" Summer asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Do. You. Want. To. See. Marissa?" she repeated. "She's in the morgue still, I'm sure. I think they cleaned a lot up, it shouldn't be too awful, so, wanna see her?"

Luke nodded. Stood. Turned to help Summer up.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Absolutely not."