When I was a kid, back in the days when I was all young and innocent and the like, I had a puppy. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. A girl like me with a puppy. Ask me how long it lived. Come on, it was a little dog. I'm not going to go chaotic on an innocent animal. So anyway, we had this puppy, my brothers and I, though I like to think that the little guy was mine. Boys in spite of all sexism-based pet beliefs usually have no clue how to take care of dogs. There's feeding, playing, walking, clean up after... and let's face it, guys are just not cut out to do that work. So the puppy belonged to me.

And it wasn't the smartest little creature on the face of the planet, either. I've decided that I'm a cat person. Cats, even as kittens, do not require babysitters. But that dog did. No, scratch that. He needed a full-time bodyguard just to survive each day. It wasn't just my brothers trying to be pet-smart. The dog was stupid. I think he escaped from some research facility somewhere where the brain was removed. He did not have one. If his food dish was not filled up before his eyes with me distinctly pointing out its location, he'd starve. Once he climbed into our tree house–and jumped out. Sometimes dogs also land on their feet. Don't even get me started on the daily running-into-the-door. And no, it was not one of those clear glass things.

So, yeah, he was a stupid dog. Cute as anything, though. And it wasn't like he didn't try to be smart. He wanted to display some semblance of intelligence. Even after the countless times where he was hit in the head with the 'fetch' stick, he kept wanting to play. Someday, he thought, someday he would actually get that stick–and not run into a fence right after catching it.

He was a nice dog, poor thing. I really didn't know what to do with him, then. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be void of any intelligence, so I suppose I pitied the little guy. It was just so cute how he kept trying every day to do whatever dogs did. And I suppose I just had to make sure he didn't get hurt in the process. I may be evil, but I don't like to think I lack all maternal instinct and female sensitivity. I guess I just tend to worry about the more pathetic creatures on the planet. Like that puppy.

Of course, that was years ago. Now I'm working for this Drakken guy who's trying to take over the world.

It all seems very familiar, in some ways.

The End.