Part 10

Disclaimer: The O.C. isn't mine. I still own nothing. Less than nothing. Credit card debt. If you'd like to take THAT off my hands, you're welcome to it!

A/N: Thanks to my amazing patient beta 60schic. She hasn't seen this in awhile, so all mistakes are mine.

Summer knocked on the Cohen's door uncomfortably. She hadn't been here since she had dumped Seth's junk on his bed at the end of last summer.

"Hey," Seth's voice was warm until he saw who it was. "Summer."

"Hi. How's Ryan?" Summer asked though what she really wanted was to embrace Seth, ask how he was, beg for him back.

"Alright. He's in the living room playing video games with Luke," Seth opened the door wider. "You can go on back."

"Thanks." Summer brushed past Seth and tried to ignore the goosebumps passing him gave her.

"Hey. How are you? How was school?" Luke accosted Summer as she entered the living room.

"I'm an Ice Queen," Summer stated. "I'm fine."

Ryan shot Summer a concerned look.

"Come sit." He patted the space between himself and Luke.

"You wanna play?" Luke offered Summer his controller. Summer shook her head.

"You play. I'll watch." She settled back against the cushions and sighed contentedly. For the first time since Julie Cooper had called, Summer was content. Why was it that she was more at peace after being in the presence of Luke and Ryan for ten seconds than she had been all day with Zach? It wasn't fair, it didn't make any sense, but it felt so fucking good to feel okay again.

After a few minutes of self-analysis Summer turned to Ryan, lightly touched the bruising on his right cheek.

"You really okay Chino? Honestly?"

Ryan sighed. "I'm sore. I can't go back to school until Monday. Marissa's dead and I can't figure out how to feel about that."

Summer nodded and turned to Luke. "And you? How are you Luke?"

"I… can I tell you both something? Something serious?"

"Yeah man."

"Of course," Summer bit her lip anxiously.

"I think I'm in love with Marissa. Was in love with her. You know? I didn't realize, until I saw her the other night, at the morgue. I thought I was over her," Luke sighed as Summer wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh, Luke…"

"I'm sorry man," Ryan couldn't quite meet Luke's eyes.

"Don't be Chino. This is just… it is how it is, you know?"

"Yeah. And how are you doing Summer?"

"It hurts. I'm sad. I feel bad for not missing her more," Summer admitted.

"Summer…"

"There's no right or wrong-"

"No. Look Ryan, I know she caused you a lot of drama and that you guys haven't been really close in a long time. Luke, you were in Portland. Me, I've been with her. I'm supposed to be her best friend. So what the hell is my excuse?"

"You've got stuff on your mind."

"What stuff?"

"Zach?" Ryan suggested. "Seth?"

Summer sighed. "So? Why should any of that be more important than the fact that my BEST friend is DEAD?"

"Marissa would want you to be happy."

"Well I'm not."

"Would soda make you happy?" Ryan asked breaking the sober mood entirely.

"Uh, what? Maybe."

"Will you go grab us a couple?" Luke asked hopefully

"Why do I have to go?"

"I'm not supposed to get up," Ryan reminded her.

"Oh. Right," Summer stood. "And Luke's suddenly become paralyzed as well?"

"We're in the middle of the San Francisco level," Luke pouted and gestured at the television screen.

"Boys," Summer snorted, but went for drinks without further protestation.

Summer walked into the kitchen and froze. Seth had a blond girl pressed against the counter and he was kissing her passionately.

Without a word Summer opened the refrigerator and grabbed blindly for three sodas.

She left the kitchen shell-shocked.

Numbly she handed the boys their drinks and took her place between them.

"Summer?" Ryan questioned.

"What is she doing here?"

"Who?" Luke wondered.

"The tattooed girl from The Bait Shop. The one Seth's making out with in the kitchen."

"Oh. Summer…"

"Alex," Ryan clarified. "I guess she came by Monday night and they talked and," he shrugged, "they've been pretty much inseparable since. You didn't know?"

"Of course I didn't know! I wouldn't have been up all night thinking about what you two jackasses had said if I knew. I wouldn't have decided that I shouldn't settle for being content when I could be happy. Cream soda versus champagne. Of course. Of course Seth got a shiny new girlfriend today."

"Summer?"

She sighed and passionately missed having girlfriends who she didn't have to spell things out for. "Last night I decided I need to dump Zach."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh," Summer agreed with Luke. "God, could my timing get any more Cohen-y? I finally figure things out. I finally make a decision and oh, no. Everything I want is wrong."

Summer slammed her fist on the sofa cushions.

"You haven't dumped Zach yet, right?" Ryan inquired. "So you could just not dump him."

"Every time I look at him I feel guilty for not being more in love with him. I can't live like that. I have to end things with him."

"But if you don't have Seth…"

Summer sighed. Glared at Luke. "I believe someone promised me I would always have Seth."

Luke stared sheepishly at his hands, still holding a Playstation controller. "I-"

"Don't worry about it. I think maybe sometimes it's better to have no one than have someone who isn't what you want, you know?" Summer sought reassurance in her friends' eyes.

"You aren't alone. You know that right?" Luke asked. "You have me and Chino."

"I know." Summer hit the couch again. "I hate this!" She proclaimed loudly. "I hate all the tears and sadness. I hate feeling so… hurt and wounded and fucking fragile! I hate that everything seems to be going against me! I just want it to be over!"

Seth stuck his head into the living room, a finger pressed to his lips.

"Don't you dare shush me Seth Cohen!" Summer leapt to her feet. "My best friend just died! I can be as loud as I fucking want!"

Seth cocked his head to the side. "Using a tragedy to justify bad behavior. How very Marissa of you."

Behind her, Summer felt Luke jump to his feet.

"Down Luke," she growled quietly. "Cohen's ass is mine."

"What is your problem?"

"Are you kidding me?" Summer demanded. "My best friend is dead. She's not even in the grave and you're already defaming her!"

Seth took a deep breath. "Okay. You're right. That was out of line. I'm sorry."

"Good! You want to know my other problem?" Summer was still yelling. It was like a switch had been thrown and she needed to get everything out. Now. "You! You're always just… you!"

"Me?" Seth looked genuinely puzzled. "I'm a problem for you?"

"For over a year now," Summer spat.

"You say it like there were never any good times," Seth told her sadly. "There were good times. There were great times."

"I know that! It's why I'm still in fucking love with you! You're champagne!"

Seth's comeback stilled before his lips had formed the words. His mouth hung open. "You're what now?"

"I'm still in love with you Seth," Summer said more calmly. She glanced back at Luke and Ryan. "If you'll excuse me, I think I need to go home now."

"No." Seth told her. "You don't get to drop a bombshell like that and just leave."

Summer ignored him, turning to face Luke and Ryan.

"Stay," Ryan requested. "Talk. Marissa's what this is really about, isn't it?"

"No. It's not. As usual she's a convenient footnote to the drama in my life," Summer sniffed delicately, an action she now recognized as a precursor to tears. "My best friend is dead and I laid awake last night thinking about Seth."

Luke stood and embraced Summer. "It's okay."

"What? How?"

"Everything. It's going to be okay. You promised, remember?"

Summer pulled away.

"I lied," she stated flatly.

"Seth?" A female voice called from the kitchen.

"Go away Cohen," Summer instructed without glancing in his direction.

"Summer." Seth crossed the room, took her arm, turned her to face him. "I don't know what to do."

"You've made your decision," Summer snapped, "stick with it."

"But…"

"Go," Summer shoved Seth backwards. He stumbled backwards, surprised. Looked up, hurt. Nodded quickly. Pivoted and returned to Alex.

"Maybe it's better this way," Summer said so softly her voice was nearly a whisper. She was willing herself not to cry. Louder she continued, "This way it's not like I'm leaving Zach for him. I'm just leaving Zach."

"Summer?" Ryan inquired.

"I don't know Chino. I'm just picking up pieces and trying to make sense of them."

"I still don't get it," Luke stated. "You love him. He loves you. What the hell is your problem Roberts?"

Summer rolled her eyes.

"It's not that simple," Ryan replied. "Summer needs Seth to choose her once and for all. Seth needs Summer to wait for him, to actually want him instead of just wanting what she can't have."

"God, you're right!" Summer threw her arm dramatically over her eyes. "I'm cursed. I'm fated to live out this stupid cycle with him. I'm going to be eighty years olds and still waiting for him, aren't I?"

"What are you going to do?" Luke asked.

"Right now? I'm going to go home and figure out how to dump Zach."