A/N: I own nothing. Mad props to 60schic for the beta though.

Part 12

Summer hadn't been at Holly's since the summer before last. It looked the same, felt the same. Had the same mass of too-old teenagers trying to unburden their souls the best way they knew how. Tonight was for meaningless sex and too much alcohol.

Everything could hurt in the morning, morning was for Marissa. Tonight was for numbness, for avoidance and denial. Just like Coop would do it.

"It's exactly the same," Luke marveled from behind her. Summer had momentarily forgotten he and Ryan were with her.

"Yeah," Summer agreed softly, sadly. Then she spotted Holly standing by the blender and decided she was tired of being soft and sad.

Summer downed the last of her margarita when Seth and Alex showed up. She tossed her hair, threw back her head and laughed as no one else could. She was Summer Roberts, she was hot and fun and nothing ever broke her heart. Summer Roberts was unbreakable.

She was also drunk and stupid and she knew it. But that was the point. She'd come to Holly's to drink and dance her pain away.

With a fresh drink and an eye on Seth and Alex, she strutted onto the dance floor.

Hips swaying, lips pursed, head oh-so-high, she knew everyone's eyes were on her. She only cared about one person. She was dancing for him, at him, showing him everything he wasn't getting from Punk Rock Barbie. The rhythm of the music carried her away. Summer was all writhing, stomping, swaying motion.

Laughing, she stumbled into someone's arms.

"You're drunk," Ryan accused Summer.

"Yes, I am." She smiled cynically. "I'm wasted and single and best-friendless and pissed the fuck off. It's been a good week for me."

"I think you've had enough." Ryan tried to pry the red plastic cup from her hand.

"You don't get to decide. No one gets to tell me what to do."

"Hey." Luke wandered over, cheerfully drunk. "Why aren't you celebrating?"

Ryan fixed him with a glare.

"It's a wake. We're celebrating Marissa's life!"

"By drinking yourselves to death just like her?" Ryan demanded, his voice low and angry.

"Ryan…"

"No." Ryan got into Summer's face angrily. "I watched Marissa die. I will not watch you two kill yourselves."

Summer felt herself sober suddenly.

"You were unconscious."

"Eventually."

Summer's eyes widened in horror. She wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol that caused it, or the expression in Luke's eyes, or the tone of Ryan's voice, but she found herself trembling uncontrollably.

"Tell me," she demanded, her voice even despite her chattering teeth.

Luke shook his head frantically. "No," he mouthed, "no, no, no."

Ryan pulled back from Summer slightly and nodded once. He ran a hand over his face and set his jaw.

Summer bit her lip, waiting, wondering, trying to imagine all the worst possible scenarios.

"I was surprised. When we hit the guard rail and kept going, I was surprised." Ryan closed his eyes. "I had been trying to talk to her, to get her to stop the car. I guess I wasn't paying any more attention to the road than Marissa was."

Luke turned and walked away. Summer understood. She needed to hear how her best friend had died, he couldn't hear about how the girl he loved had died.

Summer put her hand on Ryan's arm. Ryan met her eyes and took a deep breath.

"When the wheels left the ground, it was surreal. It felt like… you know those Road Runner cartoons? Where the coyote runs off the cliff and is fine until he realizes he's not on solid ground? It was like that. And then I realized the car was not on solid ground and we started to fall. We fell forever," Ryan looked away.

Summer followed his gaze to where Seth stood, arm wrapped around Alex. She damned him for not being here when his best friend needed him. When she needed him.

"Chino?" Summer asked softly.

"I need…"

"A minute? A drink? Seth?" Summer guessed.

Ryan nodded. "Seth. Please."

Summer stepped away from Ryan. Trembling she walked over to Seth. Quietly, humbly she looked up at her ex-boyfriend.

"Please Seth," she requested. "He needs you."

Seth looked at her. Blinked. "What?"

"Your best friend watched his ex-girlfriend die five nights ago and now he's reliving it. He needs you," Summer stated, glancing at Ryan hunched over, surrounded by oblivious dancers in the middle of the room.

"What am I supposed to do?" Seth had asked her twice in two days, and Summer really wished he'd quit.

She shrugged miserably. "I don't know… be you?"

"I…"

"Please?"

Seth followed Summer back to Ryan's side.

"Where, uh, where was I?" Ryan asked huskily.

"Falling," Summer reminded him, resuming her position in front of him.

"It seemed like we were falling for days. I kept wondering what would happen when we hit the ground. It was weird. We weren't, like flipping or anything. Just falling straight down, like an elevator. I wondered if we'd hit the ground and crush our skulls on the roof of the car, or if the car would explode, or what. And Marissa was screaming," Ryan met Summer's eyes again. "She started screaming when we hit the guard rail and didn't stop until… the end."

Summer nodded. That certainly sounded like Marissa though it made Summer sad to hear that her friend had died screaming.

"Anyway, we landed on a hill or something. The back wheels hit first and then the front ones. We both hit the dashboard pretty hard at that point. If the car had stopped we would have been fine, but we were on a hill and somehow Marissa's foot was still on the gas and I didn't have time to tell her to step on the brakes. We kept going."

Ryan's eyes shut, it seemed involuntarily, taking him on a nightmarish ride only he knew.

"Finally, finally we stopped. The canyon was steep, we just plowed into the other side of it. There was an old, dead tree. A branch broke the driver's side window right before we stopped. It broke Marissa." Ryan shuddered and continued hurriedly, Seth's hand firm on his shoulder. "She stopped screaming and then her head hit the steering wheel and then the car ran into the canyon wall and I don't remember anything else."

Summer embraced Ryan, wrapping her arms around his neck. Her elbow brushed Seth's hand and she forced herself to not let it matter. Now was not time to be pinning after Seth, not when Chino needed her.

Summer was still trembling, tears streaming down her face. "Oh Chino, Chino, Chino, Chino," the whispered words poured out of her mouth. "Baby it's okay, it's over. You're here, we're safe. We're safe."

Ryan's arms tightened around her. "I'm sorry Summer."

"Why?" she hissed, and then gently continued, "It doesn't matter sweetie. It doesn't. It was an accident, it's over."

Summer ran a hand through Ryan's silky hair, mindful of his stitches. She felt Seth try to withdraw his hand from Ryan's shoulder, and glared at him. His hand stayed put.

"Summer," Ryan's voice was halting and Summer knew he was fighting back tears.

"It's okay. It's okay. I'm okay. You're okay. Everything is going to be okay. I promise."

"You lie," Ryan reminded her.

"I'm not lying now," Summer was serious. She pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes. "I've got you."

Ryan blinked rapidly.

Summer caught Seth's eye. "We need to take him home."

"Yeah."

"Ryan?" Summer asked, carefully detangling herself from him, "Have you had a pain pill?"

"No."

"Take one."

Ryan produced something from his pocket and swallowed it dry.

"Uh, bro?" Seth wondered, "aren't those supposed to be taken with water?"

Ryan looked tiredly at Seth. "Take me home. Please."

"We're going."