A/N: Thank you guys all so much for the reviews. They mean so much and I appreciate them.
Other things I appreciate include my fabulous beta 60schic and pinkbubblegum123 for who this chapter is an act of good faith.
Part 18
Caitlin clung to Summer as she wandered the reception aimlessly, pausing to exchange pleasantries with classmates and Newpsies. Every polite condolence she accepted made it harder for Summer to breathe.
"Summer," Ryan approached, sounding exhausted.
"Ryan!" Summer wrapped her arms around her friend.
"Are you okay?" they both asked simultaneously and then chuckled awkwardly.
"Yeah," Summer nodded glancing over at Caitlin.
"Um, hey Caitlin. It's good to see you," Ryan shifted uncomfortably.
Caitlin looked up, surprised. "Hi Ryan. I'm glad you're okay."
"Thanks. I am so, so sorry-"
"I know." Caitlin smiled gently. "It was an accident."
"Right." Ryan nodded. "I guess I'll see you guys later," he murmured, wandering away.
Summer exhaled slowly, and forced herself to inhale deeply
After Ryan left Caitlin turned to Summer, her eyes full of tears.
"What is it Caitie?"
The girl nodded in Ryan's direction. "She really loved him."
Summer wrapped an arm around Caitlin's shoulders. "Yeah, I know."
"It just really sucks that they couldn't work it out. It really sucks that she's gone."
"Yeah."
"Hey Sum. Caitlin. Nice funeral," Holly greeted them uncomfortably.
"Holly!" Caitlin threw herself into the arms of her sister's second oldest friend.
"Hey sweetie," Holly looked at Summer helplessly. Summer didn't know what to do either. "How's it going?"
"Okay," came Caitlin's muffled reply.
"And you Summer? We never did sit down and reminisce."
"No, I know. We still should."
"We will. I, uh, should probably go…" Holly tried to squirm out of Caitlin's grasp "…talk to Mr. and Mrs. Cooper."
Caitlin sighed and let go of Holly. "It was nice seeing you again."
"Um, you too."
Summer sucked in a gulp of air and looked down at Caitlin, concerned.
"I'm okay."
"You sure?"
"I just miss my sister is all."
"Okay."
"It's natural to want to be around people who were close to her."
"Fine."
"There is nothing weird going on with me," Caitlin insisted.
"Alright."
"Alright!" Caitlin stomped her foot in annoyance.
"I'm just worried about everyone right now," Summer ruffled Caitlin's hair.
"Don't be. Just worry about you."
"I am," Summer felt her lungs tightening as Luke approached, eyes red from recently shed tears, and wordlessly embraced Summer.
She hugged him tightly, gripping and holding Luke close.
When at last they parted Summer found herself unable to speak.
Luke smiled gently, shook his head, and they spoke with their eyes about things they couldn't speak aloud. Of friendship, love, betrayal, forgiveness, hope, faith and fear.
In a moment all had been said and Zach had elbowed Luke out of the way.
"Zach," Summer sighed, soft and sad once more.
"Hey. Are you okay? I was worried after yesterday," Zach took a step into Summer's space and she felt choked.
"I'm fine."
"Yeah?"
"Uh-huh." The ability to breathe was failing Summer once more.
"Alright then. Call if you need anything Summer," Zach insisted. "I mean it. Anything."
"'Kay," she nodded and watched Zach walk towards where the other water polo players were congregated.
Summer couldn't breathe. She really couldn't breathe. Her vision was getting blurry and the room was starting to sway.
She took a few choking breaths and rushed out of the tent.
Beside the sea, everything felt calmer. The ocean air was easier to breathe than the heated air being pumped around Marissa's funeral. The sun was setting and the breeze was blowing. The world was crisp and clear and indescribably gorgeous. It was so unfair that Marissa would never get to see the sunset again.
Tears pricked Summer's eyes but refused to fall a she stared down the cliffs at the ocean below, so beautiful and wild. It was fitting for Marissa to have an eternal view of the sea. She'd always seemed happiest at the beach.
The faintest touch on her shoulder brought Summer out of her reverie.
"Summer? You okay?" Seth's voice was full of concern.
"I'm breathing," she said without turning. "I'm not planning on jumping."
"I'm glad."
"I really, really miss her," Summer sniffled. "She was… she was my Coop. She knew why strawberries were funny, and why Princess Sparkle has nail polish on her front right hoof. We invented the world's best salad together, and the world's worst pancakes. We've seen Aladdin a combined total of 387 times, most of them together."
Seth was rubbing slow circles on Summer's back as she spoke.
"She knows things about me that no one knows. We used to choreograph routines to do on rollerblades and practice for days. She…"
"She was a good friend to you."
"I'm mad at her," Summer turned to Seth, her lip stuck out in a pout. "How dare she leave me? What kind of best friend forever goes and dies? How can my best friend be dead?" Summer's voice cracked.
"Baby…" Seth drew her into his arms. Summer rested her head against him for half a second before jerking away.
"I can't do this right now. I need you. It feels like I'm going to die without you," Summer shuddered. "If I don't have you, can't touch you…" she turned and fled.
"Summer! Wait!"
