ok, there's a line in here that I definately stole from some movie/tv show, I just can't think of which one, so I'm sorry, but it felt right with the storyline. I'm still formulating ideas for he didn't love her, and I had the idea for this fic, so I decided to take a little break from that, and start this one. This one's a little different then my other fic, and it takes place during the scene in episode 21 where Tony tells Michelle that he hates being without her only in my version that stupid phone doesn't ring and interrupt everything!

Enjoy and let me know what you think ((but only if you think its worth your time))

Looking down at Audrey, he just couldn't understand how she could just sit there working so calmly after she had just watched her husband die.

"What is she still doing here?"

"I think she wants to keep busy so she doesn't have to think about it"
just like me, she wanted to say, just like after I left, when I buried myself in my work to try and make the pain go away. It didn't work though. The pain's still here.

"It's funny, when I met Audrey this afternoon, it seemed like she and Jack were totally together. A few hours later, everything's changed." Just like with us, they both thought at the same time. In just a few hours, our entire worlds came crashing down. And now look at us. He had to say something. He couldn't let what happened to Audrey and Paul happen to him and Michelle. He would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to one of them, and Michelle never knew how much he loved her. How he thought about her and the life they had shared together everyday, how he would never be able to feel the love he felt for her for anyone else, and how that scared him to death,
because he needed that love, because that love was what made him feel complete, and for the past six months, all he had felt was emptiness.

"Michelle"

Please Tony, don't let that happen to us. She silently begged, hoping he would find a way to hear her pleas.

"I hate being without you"

There, he had said it. At least now she knew.

"I never wanted it to be this way." He couldn't believe she had just said that. SHE was the reason they were no longer together. SHE was the one who left. NO, Tony, YOUR the reason she left, he scolded. It's your fault. But still, he thought, I have to know.

"Then why is it this way?"

"Because Tony..."

"Because WHY?

"Don't do this Tony, not now..."She pleaded.

He knew it wasn't the best time, but he needed answers. There had to be a reason for her leaving and he had to know if it was something that could still be fixed.

"No Michelle, I need to know. Why couldn't we have worked it out? Why did you stop loving me?"

"I never stopped loving you!" She could barely stop herself from screaming the words,it was like an instant reaction. She continued, more calmly, "It just got so hard...I mean you hardly even spoke to me, you never touched me, and then after you started to drinking..."She shuddered at the memories. "I wanted to be there for you, Tony, I just didn't know how. You wouldn't let me in! I felt like I wasn't enough for you, and every day I couldn't stop myself fromn thinking that you..." She trailed off. She couldn't say the words. She was in tears at this point.

They couldn't have this discussion now. Not in the same office where they had so many memories together. She had to keep it together. There were too many lives at stake.

"You thought I what?" Tony gently prodded, sensing her uneasiness.
She just stood there in tears, shaking her head. When she finally spoke again, Tony could barely hear her, she was speaking so quietly.

"That you thought you had made the wrong decision...that you wished you had just let Saunders kill me!" She was stuggling to choke out the words, but she continued, "Then none of this would have happened. You'd still have your job, Jack wouldn't have been fired, so he wouldn't have even met Audrey...

"NO!" Now Tony was in tears as well. Michelle was falling apart in front of his eyes,
and he pulled her into him so that she was enveloped in his arms. she tried to fight against him, but he was too strong for her, and he just held her in his arms whispering "shhhhhhhh" into her ear, and trying to calm her. He eventually pulled back a little,
and held her face in his hands. He looked into her eyes and said, "Michelle, you can't possibly think that! Because not ONCE, in all this time, has that thought EVER entered my mind! And it kills me that you think that it did! I NEVER doubted, for even a second,
that I had made the right choice. Not when I was on trial, not when I was in prison, not even after you left! I may not be the one who gets to hold you in his arms every night,
but at least SOMEBODY CAN! God, Michelle, If I had given in to Saunders, I wouldn't still have this job, because I could never come to work here every day.I couldn't work for the same government that had let you die. I would become just like Jack!

She backed away from him so that his hands were no longer cupping her face.

"Well look at Jack now! He's still working for the government isn't he? AND he's found someone new! It's not like his life ended when his wife died, he just got sidetracked for a while. You would've moved on Tony. Maybe not for a while, but EVENTUALLY, you would've moved on.

Tony could only shake his head. He couldn't believe they were having this conversation.
Didn't she get it? He didn't WANT to move on, he wanted to be WITH her.
"We need to stop talking about this, because it's not getting us anywhere. I never doubted my decision, there never WAS a decision, and you need to know that.

They both stood there for a while before she nodded slightly.
"What I need to know, is do you still love me?" He asked, scared for her answer, but knowing he needed to ask the question if he were ever to get through this.

She couldn't believe that he really felt a need to ask that question. How could he not see?

"My God, Tony. What do you think? Do you think I would have cared so much about everything that's been going on with you today if it were anybody else? OF COURSE I still love you, I never STOPPED! I just couldn't keep allowing myself to be hurt by you, but leaving you... leaving you hurt worse than anything I've ever felt before. And then it was too late!

Tony shook his head violently.

"It wasn't too late! It STILL isn't!"

And with that he once again cupped her face in his hands and kissed her long and hard. She was caught off guard by the kiss, but quickly caught on and happily reciprocated.

God I love this woman Tony thought to himself as he was kissing Michelle. Everything just felt so RIGHT when he was kissing her.

It's not really done, but I wanted to get this part up so I could get some feedback...I'm still trying to figure out where I want the story to go.