Hello everyone! This is my very first fanfiction so I apologize if it isn't the best you've ever read. However, I do hope you at least get a good laugh out of reading it.
(Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. Enough said.)
Konoha's New Teacher
Chapter 1: Jiraiya's Plea
It was a beautiful summer day, and Naruto was inhaling another five bowls of ramen at Ichiraku Ramen when Jiraiya came running up, clearly out of breath.
"Naruto…Need…Your…Help!" Jiraiya panted, gasping for breath after each and every word. He must have just run all the way from the hot springs after "gathering data" again.
"Eh?" Naruto turned around to look at Jiraiya and broke into a huge grin. "My help, huh? 'Score!' he thought to himself. 'Someone actually wants my help! I can't believe this! He could have easily asked someone else for help, but nope he wants my help! This is so cool. Oh wait…of course he wants my help. I am going to become Hokage after all. Why bother to ask someone who is obviously inferior to me. Like Sasuke, for instance…oh how I wish to defeat him, and quite miserably, too.'
"Ahem!" Jiraiya coughed. "Will you help me, or not?" He raised his eyebrow, waiting for an answer.
"Huh?" Naruto looked up, almost surprised to see Jiraiya standing right in front of him. Then he realized that he had got distracted with thinking of how he was going to destroy Sasuke. He decided to put that dream aside for the time being and get back to the matters at hand. Sasuke could wait just a while longer. "Oh yeah! Of course I'll help. Uhh…what was it you needed help with again?"
Jiraiya stared at Naruto, wondering if it was really worth his time to ask him for help in matters as serious as this was. "Well," Jiraiya said after a moment of awkward silence, "the thing is…they have put up some new walls around the hot springs recently, and they make it very difficult for me to gather my data. Every time I think I've found a good hiding spot, a girl spots me looking in on her and her friends and they all scream and run away. I only get maybe one brief second to gather any data, and that's certainly not enough time to gather anything."
"Uh-huh…" replied Naruto, looking just as confused as ever. "So, what do you want me to do? Shall I demolish the walls? Or how about I beat up the people who built the walls?"
"No, no, Naruto," Jiraiya said, waving his hands around. "See, you do something like that and then the girls may never go to the hot springs again, and I need them to go if I am to gather all the important data that I need." Naruto simply raised an eyebrow, still quite confused, while Jiraiya continued. "I was hoping you could help me out with the use of your sexy no jutsu. After all, you are the master when it comes to that jutsu."
Naruto broke into an ear-to-ear grin again, very pleased with the compliment. "Well, I guess I am the best at it. After all, I know only one other person who can use the jutsu, and I was the one who taught it to him."
Naruto began to think of all the fun times he had with Konohamaru using that jutsu. After awhile, another thought came to mind…"Wait a minute! I'm not going to become your 'data'! I've got thing to do, ramen to eat, training to do, missions to complete, ramen to eat, Sasuke to defeat, oh, and one last thing…What was it again?"
Naruto thought for a moment, which Jiraiya though looked rather painful for the poor guy. He decided to help him out and chimed it "Hokage to become?"
"Huh?" Naruto replied, coming back out of his thoughts. "Oh yeah, that too, but there was something else…Oh yeah! Of course! I remember now! I've got ramen to eat!" Naruto turned back to his bowl of ramen and began shoving it into his mouth again.
Jiraiya rolled his eyes and sight 'He's going to end up inhaling ramen so fast that one of these days he's going to choke on it and die. Oh well, might was well humor him if I'm ever going to get back to my "work".' "Naruto, how about I pay your tab for you," Jiraiya said as Naruto was served yet another round of ramen. Naruto just continued to eat (if you could call it that…). Jiraiya continued by saying "You won't even have to use that jutsu, at least not the way you are thinking." Naruto just continued to eat and ignore Jiraiya. Jiraiya finally decided to stop beating around the bush and get to the point. "All you have to do is teach me the jutsu."
Naruto about choked on his ramen as he turned to stare at Jiraiya. After a brief, awkward silence, Naruto finally swallowed the ramen that was hanging down to his chin and said "Wait a minute…you want me to teach you sexy no jutsu?" "Wow!' Naruto thought to himself. 'Not only does he want my help, but he wants me to teach him something this time, rather than him teaching me. Better yet, he wants to learn my trademark jutsu! This is the best day of my life! Or at least until I defeat Sasuke.'
Then another thought occurred to Naruto and he couldn't help but yell it out so loud that everyone could hear him. "But you're so old!"
THWACK! Jiraiya smacked Naruto upside the backside of his head. "I didn't ask for your opinion! Just teach me sexy no jutsu, or I'll go find someone else to help me."
Since Naruto didn't want Jiraiya to get help from somebody else, he said, "Okay, then. Meet me back here tomorrow morning at 6:00 am and we'll begin the training."
"Great!" exclaimed Jiraiya. He stood up and was just getting ready to leave when Naruto cleared his throat, more loudly than was necessary.
"Ahem! You said you would pay tab if I helped you out," Naruto said, looking quite smug.
Jiraiya grumbled as he walked back up to the counter and paid for all the ramen Naruto ate. Needless to say, his wallet was a great deal lighter than it had been when he first showed up. 'It will all be worth it by the time it's all said and done…and if it's not, well then, it will just be Naruto's problem.' Jiraiya and Naruto then head their separate ways until morning.
Well, that's the end of the first chapter. What'd you guys think? I will have the second chapter up as soon as possible. Just need to get some fresh ideas and some time to type it up. Until then, feel free to review it and tell me what you thought.
