Chapter 3

Flashback to three months earlier:

"Jubilee, haven't you thought about yourself, about us?" Dmitri had said as he sat across from her that day at lunch.

"Is there even an us?" she asked. "You've been talking so much about what you think we should do after graduation, you haven't really asked me if it's what I want to do… marriage… and working for your father…"

"I understand you were a member of the X-men, and into helping mutants such as us with your special talents. But have you ever considered that you could use your abilities in a less… blatant manner? In scientific research…"

"Sure yes… I mean I HAVE helped Hank study the physics of that weather manipulator, and I found out I'm not so bad at chemistry as I thought… that enzyme experiment showed me a new facet of my powers…"

"Dad has such plans for both of us. We can totally revolutionize the way things are done for our kind…" Dmitri said as he reached for her hand across the table. "Both of us have so much to look forwards too…"

"But I don't know if I want to get married right after graduation," Jubilee said. "You're already picking out names for kids and I don't even know if I WANT any…"

"I've seen how you enjoy playing with the younger ones at your work study job," he said.

"I know, but Dmitri… I need time to think… to get away…"

"Jubilee, you can't just go away and leave every time you're presented with a major life decision… I've been patient before, but I'm beginning to wonder if you even care what effect that has on me… I worry about you…"

"If you were so worried, you'd have ASKED me if I wanted to get married after graduation instead of just showing me the wedding plans your mother had made," Jubilee said, voice rising. "I feel like all I am is some oversized Barbie filling a gown. And after that, are you going to want me to be some Stepford wife like your mom is…"

"Jubilee there's no need to be insulting…"

"Sorry, I didn't MEAN it that way… it's just that what you THINK you want and what I want seems to be two different things… that's why I have to get away and think… I'm leaving just after graduation… going home…"

"Jubilee, your home is here, with me…"

"I mean my original home…"

"Massachusetts…"

"West Chester," she said. "I'm going back to the X-men. There's something I have to find out. And maybe…"

"Is this about the nightmares?" he asked. "Why can't you do that here? I can get you're the best doctors money can buy… mutants like us…"

"That's sweet, but I have to do this alone," Jubilee said.

"You can't just leave," Dmitri said as she got up from the table. "Don't you care about what that DOES to me? You've run off before…"

"That's why we have to stop this… now," Jubilee said as she felt a bolt of uncomfortable déjà vu. Someone ELSE had left when things got tense. She'd resented it then, and now it was being thrown back in her face. Was she justified in this? He'd left when she needed him. Or when she THOUGHT she needed him. But what she wanted and what she needed were two different things. And it had only made her and him stronger. She'd had to let him go. He needed to be free.

"I'm sorry Dmitri. I don't think this can work. So I'm not running away, I'm letting you go," Jubilee said as she took the ring off her finger and put it down on the table. "I care about you too much to hurt you… so you belong with someone else who can fit your dreams. Not me."

"Please Jubilee… don't leave like this…"

"I'm sorry Dmitri. Have a good life. You'll forget about me, about all this. Cause I can't do this to you… I've hurt enough people… already…" she trailed off, her eyes brimming with tears as a spike of pain thrust through her heart. She was doing it to someone she thought she loved. Like someone had done to her. Now there was no turning back.


"Jubilee! Come back!" he called.

"I'm sorry, so sorry," she whispered, brushing tears out of her eyes. She wandered into the kitchen, her stomach empty. Food would fill the need inside her gut, but not the other place. There were far too many scars. Too many people she thought she could count on, and they'd all left. Or she'd left them before she could get too attached. She needed to be free after all.

Jubilee swallowed hard. She was running out of places to run to. But there was always Excalibur, and Angelo, and Everett and her other friends. Those people are your friends. They'd take you in. At least till you wore out your welcome, she thought as she walked up the stairs and started towards her room. Opening the door she walked into the space that had been preserved like a dusty time capsule. She drew her finger over the picture of her and the team, and then looked at all the posters. Choking, she felt the resentment and emptiness fester. Her fingertips misted a bright blue, and then Jubilee could not contain it any longer.

"Damn you," she cursed herself. "Damn you Jubilee!"

Snaps and pops shot across the room like her namesake, sending tiny missiles of plasma rain everywhere about the room. Light exploded, and the smell of burning cloth assaulted her nostrils, and smoke choked her as she let loose with her power that had been bottled up. Her eyes glowed bright white, and she let it all out at the past around her.

"Jubilee!" called a familiar voice. "Cripes, what are you doing girl?"

Jubilee dropped to the floor, coughing as she inhaled the scent of charred ashes and smoke. Where there had been her stuffed animals and her books were now smoking bits of ruined material. Water and foam drenched her, and she coughed as she waved the fumes away. A scratching sound of cutting and creaking wood assaulted her ears and she barely saw three adamantium claws cutting the door lock, and a booted foot kick it down. Logan rushed in and grabbed her under the knees, raising her to her feet and helping her out of the mess.

Jubilee coughed, feeling dizzy and lightheaded as Logan picked her up in his arms and rushed her down the hall. She gasped, almost blacking out from the inhalation of carbon monoxide. The room spun.


"Jubes, can ya hear me… Jubilee… it's Wolvie… Wolverine… say something…" he shouted, patting her cheeks and shaking her.

"Oh god," Jubilee moaned, tossing her head from side to side. "I really did it… didn't I?"

"What the hell were you trying to do? Set yourself on fire?" Logan scolded her, his voice deep and full of anger. "You could have burned yourself alive!"

"I couldn't help myself… I just…" she trailed off. Wolverine bit his lip, his face twisted into a scowl as he leaned over her. She rested on a bed, in another room, and blinked. Her sight was still blurry but she could make out the features and knew it was a bedroom or a suite.

"What's going on, level with me, Jubilee, now," Wolverine said sharply. "What are you trying to do? Because this isn't you!"

"I don't know who I am, Wolvie," she said dully, glancing up at him. "I feel like I'm drowning. All my reference points… the signs and familiar things are gone…"

"Jubes…" Wolverine sighed, as he lay a cold cloth over her head. "Out with it. I need more to go on… what's happened to you…"

"I don't know, Wolvie…" she choked, looking up at him with her blue eyes glazed over. "I guess I wanted to… wanted to come home, find something that would ground me. But there's nothing. But a room full of stuff, and that's not going to help me…"

"Help me out here, Jubes," Wolverine snorted in frustration. "This isn't LIKE you. You're scaring me…"

"I'm scaring me," she said with a sad laugh, as Wolverine sat alongside her on the bed. She smelled incense and ran her fingers over silk. Across the bed she saw various Japanese weaponry hanging, near a small shrine with other items of the Shinto persuasion. IT was his room. She smelled him all around her, and felt her head swim again.

"You burned up your room pretty bad, kid," Wolverine said as he turned away. "I guess you were bottling something up pretty bad. I'd bet he first to understand if ya don't wanna talk about it. But if you don't it's gonna happen again. And again... and you KNOW I know from experience..."

"Wolvie, am I inconsiderate… am I such a pill that people don't' want me around…"

"Now what makes you ask that, Jubester?" Wolverine blinked, whirling his head around with a wary look in his blue eyes. "What left field did THAT come out of, girl?"

"Figures," she said. "I was going up to my room to pack. Although I wonder if there's anything left…"

"You going somewhere, Darlin?"

"Yeah… I think I'm like fish… smelling after three days. You know…" she trailed off.

"If this is about me leavin' when I…"

"This isn't about you, Wolvie, it's about me. It's always been about me, and my own selfish needs. Me being angry cause the world isn't fair. Well, I just realized it wasn't, and that maybe I'm being too demanding on it. Maybe it's time for me to move on… cause I think that people are tired of seeing Jubilee in the pity party…"

"Aww Jubilee, you're so wrong it ain't funny," Wolverine drew in his breath. "I know there's a whole lot of hurt going on, an' it's all from that day years ago… with me n' Sabertooth. And it's cause it's yer birthday…"

Jubilee laughed bitterly, tears dripping down her face. She choked and Wolverine caught the cloth as it dropped. "I'm pretty pathetic, blowing up my room cause people forgot…"

"We're both pathetic together kid," Wolverine said as he glanced down at her. She accepted his hug, and buried her head in his shoulder.

"You see, I'd be better off just leaving. If I can't control my powers…"

"Don't say another word, darlin'," Wolverine sighed. He seemed to come to a decision, for there was a firm purpose in his blue eyes. "Wait right there… don't move…"

"Wolvie…" she trailed off, but he released her from his embrace and backed away, still facing her with his hand held out.

"Stay there… I forgot to give you my birthday present to ya…"

"You goof you didn't have to."

"Tough cause I wanted to," he said as he pulled something out of a large wooden trunk and lay it on the bed. "Since ya trashed yer jacket n' all, I guess now's a good a time as any t' give ya these…"

"What's this?" she laughed as she felt and smelled leather. Wolverine put it in her hands, and she touched it. Black and worked with fringe. A Harley Davidson custom fit jacket, and a pair of matching boots, which he set on the bed. She laughed at the irony of it all. Something she'd wanted when she was a girl of 14, but was now being presented to her like time hadn't passed.

"You always wanted something like that I recall," he said. "If it's the wrong size…"

"It's perfect," she laughed. "Although I stopped worrying about looking tough years ago…"

"Well, I know you've ridden yer own 'scoot, and I figured…"

"Let's just say I ended up giving it up when Dmitri..." she trailed off. "He thought I was too reckless."

"I know yer gonna tell me about who this clown is before the day's through," Wolverine mumbled, folding his arms across his chest. "So's I can show him a few pointers… about mindin' his own flamin business…"

His hands dropped to his waist and she heard the slip of metal on metal, and her eyes widened as she saw his claws extended. But this time they were gleaming silver, not the rough bones.

"Wolvie, what… when… I'd heard… but never thought…"

"Joke's on me, huh darlin," Wolverine laughed as he crossed them in front of his body and then let them retract. "Nasty little gift from Apocalypse…"

"Ooh god," Jubilee moaned, her head spinning. She was again thirteen, and she saw more clearly the lines of age had lessened somewhat on his face. He'd always looked so… old compared to her, but she hadn't seen him in a while face to face, other than letters every week or month, that she felt like she'd been blind.

"Since we're on the subject of leavin', I have something I wanna ask ya," he said slowly as he sat on the bed after he sheathed the claws and sent her into shock. "Are you okay…"

"I'm not sure yet," she said, glancing up at him as he stroked her cheek, and replaced the cold cloth.

"I was fixin' t' leave myself…"

"Oh god," she sighed.

"No, hear me out. Guess the jokes on both of us, cause I was thinkin' we've got the same thing in mind… and seeing as ya torched yer room, I did manage to save some of the clothes ya brought… there wasn't much left but I figure we can always get you new threads on the way…"

"Wolvie, what are you saying… you want me to run away with you?" she asked. She closed her eyes, laughing hysterically.

"Well, maybe not run away, but just get outta this loony bin for a while. Go north… see a few of my old friends. Get the hell out from under everyone's noses and just catch up on old times…"

"Won't everyone throw a fit…"

"Who flamin' cares?" Wolverine said. "You were leavin' anyway, weren't ya? Though God knows how, cause I didn't see anything you rode in on…"

"I was going to buy a motorcycle…"

"Time for that later on. How soon can you be ready to go?"

"Well you said you packed my stuff, right?" Jubilee said as she sat up.

"You sure your head's clear, darlin?" Wolverine asked.

"I'll live," she laughed as she sat up with his arm behind her head. He lay out a pair of clean bluejeans, and a turtleneck sweater of hers with thick socks. She saw he'd already packed a bag for himself.

"If you wanna shower and freshen up, I'll be getting things together… meet me downstairs darlin…" Wolverine said as he kissed her forehead and hugged her. Retreating he left the door partly open.


She slung her bag over her shoulder, and grabbed his as well as she trotted down the stairs. The boots were heeled, with a strap across the arch of the foot running from one ankle to the other. The fringe of them matched her jacket, and she zipped it up partway. Her hair was singed slightly and she tied it back with a hairband she'd found to at least get it out of her face. She reassured her it would grow back. The boots were knee high, and slid over her jeans. She figured they'd go great with a miniskirt she'd seen in the store. However the bag was laden with sweaters and woolen items, and even a parka neatly crammed into one of those airtight space saver bags.

Under that in a secret compartment she'd stashed her Gen X uniform of unstable molecules.

She heard the radio in the kitchen turned to some country western station, and walked out to see him stashing several objects wrapped in wax paper into a small Coleman cooler.

"Figured it'd save time bringing some grub for the road… hope you don't mind… some of 'em are that shaved turkey breast stuff…"

"Well I'm off atkins, but that sounds great," she said as she looked around in disbelief. She helped him place the other items into the cooler, alongside a six pack of beer and a six pack of diet coke, and he hefted it onto his shoulder. Grabbing his bag and hers, he walked in the direction of the garage.

"Wait, hold up…"

"You ready t' blow this popstand darlin?" Wolverine asked as he nudged the door open with his toe, and led her out to the garage where the vehicles were berthed.

"Yeah… but we're taking the cycle?"

"It's configured t' take the extra stuff," he said as he placed everything in the larger cruising compartments he'd added to the sides of his Harley. Polished chrome and steel were a welcome friend, and she saw he'd added a sissy bar to the back seat. Who'd live THAT down? The other items stacked and strapped behind it, such as the cooler. He tossed her something, and she grabbed the helmet she was so used to seeing, the one she called hers. But to her surprise he donned a helmet and sunglasses himself along with thick leather gloves. He climbed on the seat, and waited.

Jubilee felt as if she were stepping into the unknown. To get on that bike with him, or stay behind. Why was she making such a big deal anyway? Taking a deep breath she mounted the bike behind him, and slid her arms around his waist as she had so many times before. Glancing down she saw his steel toed cowboy boot shove down on the starter. Her doubts were erased by the sudden roar of the engine reverberating through the garage, and the smell of exhaust from the pipes. She lurched forwards, leaning into his back as they shot out onto the circular drive and down the main driveway towards Grimalken Lane.

"Wonder when they'll notice we've split," Jubilee giggled conspiratorially in Wolverine's ear. He smirked and propped his feet up on the higher set of pegs, set for leaning back. Her chest pressed to his back in a comfortable and nice position, and she leaned into his back and let her hand roam over his chest before stopping it where it should remain.

"We'll find out I'm sure, Jubester," he grinned.

"I feel so naughty," she laughed, and then stopped, hoping he didn't pick up any double entendre that was unintentional. "Wait… let me…"

"Whatever it is, it feels great playing hooky from school, don't it darlin?" he shouted over the engine.

"What a kick," she whooped as they roared onto the main highway, and headed towards the New York Thruway.

They slowed down to grab a tag in the toll lane, weaving among the trailers and campers. They were two bikers, a man and his girl, blending in the crowd. Jubilee stashed the tag and Logan shot out of the gate, blending into the flow of traffic easily. She glanced over his shoulder, sighting other bikers who had set up position. One of them, a large fellow with a handlebar mustache and half gloves nodded to him as they approached the formation. There were at least four other riders in staggered lines in the lane, and there was some unspoken respect that Wolverine could take his place to travel among them. Jubilee felt the pleasure of being anonymous, and a realization dawned on her.

If Dmitri could see her now, he'd 'have a cow'; she chuckled, allowing her arms to tighten a bit around Wolverine's midriff. Smooth leather under her fingers and the shelf his shoulder made were comfortable things she'd missed and she didn't' question what the nature of this comfort zone was. Rather just accepting things unnamed as they were, ready to take life as it was and see where the road went.

Logan felt her arms hug him closer, and his body tingled with fear and adrenaline. What on EARTH was he doing, he told himself? This wasn't quite what he had in mind, but he'd be blind and senseless not to notice the slippery slope they were on. Inevitable, like the pull of the moon on the sea. The lines were getting blurred, dotted, and he knew that today was the day that marked that invisible barrier they erected. It was in danger of being obliterated, and he prayed he wouldn't screw up. It was lightening in a bottle, and just what this all meant could only be sorted out away from the people telling him what to do.

"Too many people flaming sayin no," he grunted.

"Amen to that," Jubilee chuckled, breathing in his ear. Wolverine allowed himself another smile, and let the chopper effect blend into the long stretch of road and the smooth swiftness of his Harley vibrating under them both. He half hoped Jean or Chuck would catch them running away. Just seeing the look on Warren and Bobby's faces would be worth the grief he'd get from Scott about this.


"Should I rehearse a speech?" Jubilee asked as she reached for a soft drink. They sat at a picnic table surrounded by other bikers. They were left alone in a crowd, of well wishers and good-natured like-minded people. Part of a subculture that didn't dare question them. To them they were just a guy and his girl out for a trip to where they knew and nobody asked how or why. She munched on the turkey breast with provolone cheese and a dab of mustard, and sighed with pleasure.

"Maybe darlin'. Want some pointers?"

"Only if you keep those claws where they belong mister," she teased.

"Ouch," Wolverine commented as he sipped down his second beer, and got to work on another sandwich. Jubilee collected the wrappers and tossed them along with the cans in the trash, then came back to join him. IT was already three in the afternoon, and they were making good time.

"I get it," she said.

"Like what you see?" he asked. "Just you, me, and nobody else. The road, and the trees. Nobody telling ya what to do, where to go…"

"Feels great," Jubilee sighed. She saw him put a cigar between his lips.

"I know I said I was giving these up, but for old times sake," Wolverine glanced up at her with his best impression of puppy dog eyes, which made her laugh.

"Stop it, your claws are bad enough!"

"Just givin ya a taste of yer own medicine, darlin'," Wolverine winked. She paffed it alight, and he let the tendrils of smoke drift up and combine with the full essence of what she'd missed.

When he'd finished his smoke, he said, "Ready to go?"

"If you are," she said. "But don't you have to worry about…"

"That's why yer drivin," Wolverine said as he passed her the keys.

"No way… you can't be serious…" she half laughed in disbelief.

"I don't wanna DUI, even WITH my healin' factor. So yer elected," he laughed as he strapped the cooler onto position. "So what's it gonna be?"

"All right, you win. But don't kill me okay?" she said as she climbed on, and Wolverine leapt up behind her. This time his thick strong arms wrapped around her waist, and she felt his hard muscled chest press to her spine. IT was her turn to tingle with something that she was unsure of and she put her toe on the ignition starter. With a firm push she half stood up, for she was less than 1/2 his weight, and started the chopper to life.

"Relax, it wont' bite ya… hard," Wolverine whispered in hear ear, making her shiver.

"Easy, I'll wrap this around a tree if you do that!" Jubilee hissed in frustration as she lifted her feet, and the bike lurched forwards. Her knuckles were probably white under the gloves as she gripped the handlebars and struggled to shift as she pushed her heel back on one side. Logan's legs rested behind her, and she sucked in a deep breath as they rolled out onto the highway again.

The rising and falling of his chest made her aware that she had been holding her breath. She let it out in one fell gust as she realized she could hold it steady, and then set her feet up on the higher pegs and leaned back. Wolverine's thighs pressed under hers, and it was the closest she'd ever been to sitting in his lap she chuckled. Already it was half past three, and the day was quickly rushing by. Any minute there might be the call that would ruin the fun, and she wanted to savor ever moment of whatever was brewing between them. Intense friendship or something more, she welcomed the uncertainty.


So should I write more? Please let me know? Does it stink or is it ok? Comments good and bad welcome!