A couple notes here…

I'm reposting this through the advice and constructive criticism given to me recently on the other 'lemon' part of this fanfic posted under Fireworks and the Healing Begins. A few good points were brought out, as to the fact that I have Jubilee and Logan getting together rather quickly. The suggestion to stretch out their relationship was given, and I'm making some rewrites, which I hope won't disappoint too many of you who love the way the story's going so far. But it will make for an equally exciting buildup to their eventual culmination of their developing relationship. So bear with me! I will be archiving this original version of the story in a separate file, so don't worry if you want to still read it. This will be an 'extended' version. I'm working on the alpha flight parts. Hope you like it!


Chapter 5

"Damn you! Let me go!" Jubilee heard herself scream. Wolverine heard the cry he'd anticipated, and before he knew it he was halfway across the room and by the side of the bed in seconds.

She was shaking, he could see with his night vision. Sweating and trembling as she clenched her fists. He saw the beginning of a blue mist, and then smelled the peculiar scent of her plasma. Was she awake? Something told him that she wasn't. Sliding next to her on the bed, he shook her roughly.

"Jubilee! Wake up! It's me… I'm right here… he's not here!"

"He… he…" Jubilee wailed as she charged up her power.

"Jubilee, stop!" Wolverine snapped. He gripped her tightly to his body, tucking her hand in between them, and praying it wouldn't hurt too much when she let it off. Her body jerked at the feel of his arms wrapped around her, and she fell limp. A second later and he sensed the alertness crash into her body.

"Logan…" she sniffled.

"Shh darlin… I'm here… you're safe… he's not gonna get you… I promise," Logan growled, or purred rather low in his throat. It was instinctive, and seemed to calm her down with its gruffness. Kitty Pryde had told him about how Pete Wisdom had the same effect on her, and he wondered why he'd thought of those two now. This wasn't the same thing, but Pete WAS ten years older than Kitty when they'd been going out. Damn shame that it didn't last. He was starting to actually like the chain smoking limey. Maybe he could do something about that. But not now.

Her nails dug into his arm, and he gritted his teeth against the pain as she clung to him, weeping. "C'mon you can cry… cry it out…" he found himself saying like a mantra, the same as the last few nights and other times.

"Oh god, I'm never gonna sleep again," she blubbered, her tears soaking his shirt. He wore a pair of shorts and the shirt for modesty's sake. Normally he'd be in little else than perhaps a pair of underpants or trunks if at all. Most men preferred the minimalist approach, and he was no exception. Separating himself from her once her crying jag abated, she slid her head into his lap, and shivered.

"Sorry ki… I mean Jubilee, I wish there was somethin' more I could do t' help ya get some rest…"

"This can't go on," she murmured as he stroked her silky hair. Something about the texture reminded him of Mariko, and he shivered at the similarity. Granted Jubilee was Chinese, not Japanese and there were some differences in bone structure. Yet the Asian look always did appeal to him, just as much as the red hair. Either the exotic or the familiar. Heather had been the reason that he'd been drawn to Jean Grey. A redhead had shown him kindness. Mariko and Yuriko and Ukyo had all been much different, their jet black hair and dark eyes and smooth skin unlike his thickly haired body. He could almost pretend that it was Mariko he was comforting, holding her body close to his, laying her down on the large bed and making love to her and hearing the music of her soft cries.

"Stop it right there, bub," he told himself. This was NOT Mariko, it was Jubilee. His Jubilee... like Kitty Pryde. She was a child, someone he'd raised. Wasn't she?

In the darkness, despite his night vision, he could smell the woman, and feel the alluring textures and scents that were all hers. That hinted at the women he'd loved and lost. Her body pressed to his was not the body of a 14-year-old, but of a 21-year-old woman in full bloom. The lines were dangerously dotted, and close to becoming obliterated the more time he spent with her.

"I'd appreciate it…" she murmured into his thigh. "If you'd… um… lay here next to me. I've got the covers all around me, so it'll be okay… right?"

"S'pose so, darlin," Wolverine muttered, his resistance worn to shreds from his own lack of sleep. Granted his healing factor allayed it, but even it had its limits. Grabbing the comforter, he stretched out on the bed on his side, facing her. They kept two inches distance from one another, and he reached to take her hand and kiss it. He'd seen gambit do it, and it was his own neutral noncommittal gesture. He felt like he would spook her or himself if he dared do anything inappropriate. As if some great offense would strike him down, or whisk her away if he teetered on the balance that would pitch them both into the oblivion that yawned in front of them.

At least there was plenty of room on the queen-sized bed. They could both lie there, with space between them, and sleep pretty well. Jubilee threw the covers over him, except for the duvet, which she pulled around her. Lying across from him, she knew that he could see her.

"Relax, I won't bite," she said.

"Don't make jokes like that, I might," he mumbled.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothin' darlin', just relax…" he said quickly as he reached out and stroked her sweaty hair from her face with a rough hand. She closed her eyes at his touch, his other hand clasping hers as he rubbed her hair and shoulder.

Leaning over he pressed a kiss to her lips, and struggled to think of something to say.

"Darlin I…" he got out before her heard the exhalation of her breath, and a small snore. Her body was totally relaxed, and her hand was slack in his grip. Figured. Saved by the sandman.

"Flamin' perfect," he told himself. Got lucky that time. With her small hand clasped in his large one, he lay on his side with his knee tucked under him, and changed hands so his right clasped her left. From the lack of tension in her body and the flicker of her eyelids he guessed she was sliding into a deep sleep. He hoped her dreams were pleasant ones. Soon he was able to release his hold on sleep and drift off himself.


The pheromones were close and hot as he reached out, and touched Mariko's cheek. She looked like Silver Fox for a moment, and then blurred into the features of Jean, before merging into others. He wanted to close his eyes and not focus on the face, just the strength of them all beneath. Before they'd slip away into nothingness. Reaching out he drew her into his arms and felt the soft press of lips to his, that tasted fresh and young, and strong. He rumbled in his throat with desire, and the kisses increased as she rolled over into his arms, and he stroked her.

Something was bright orange through the dark of his eyelids, and he realized he smelled someone else. To total alertness he snapped, realizing that someone WAS kissing him, and lying partly on their side with their body pressed to his with blankets between them both. His arms were around a warm body, and someone was softly returning the kiss he thought he was giving someone else.

Pulling away, he panicked. "Cripes, Jubilee, I'm sorry!" he stammered, jolting back.

"Don't stop now," she said, her face scrunched a bit in confusion.

"Aw hell… I…" he got out, almost tumbling out of the bed. "I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry!"

"Logan, it's okay… it's okay…" Jubilee said quickly as she grabbed his hand, he was stunned at her reflexes, and clung with a viselike grip. "Don't pull away… it's okay…nothing happened…"

Wolverine panted, heaving in and out as he felt his heart racing, and the flight or fight response fired up. He wanted to either leap out of the bed, run out the window and as far away as possible. Or take her right then and there and… Logan cut it out. You're losing your touch! How in hell could you not wake up and notice what you were almost going to do to her! She's a kid for god's sake…

"No she isn't, and that makes it worse," Wolverine muttered, hand over his face. He didn't let go of Jubilee's hand as the mental dialogue continued.

"I thought you were awake… you started kissing me, and it felt so good… I didn't realize you were still asleep…" she trailed off. Her grip released, and he sat up in bed, his eyes fixed into hers. He started to pull away, but seeing the pathos on her face jolted him even more awake. Why did she look like if he pulled away and put distance between them he was going to make a huge mistake?

If that was the case, then why was he yelling at himself to stop being an animal and abandoning all reason? Wasn't this wrong? Inhaling deeply, he took mental note. No smells on his body other than the gentle contact of hers. There was nothing that had happened that suggested anything but what it appeared to be, two people sharing a bed, fully clothed and he lay between the sheet and the bedspread, while Jubilee was under both the sheet and the blanket and duvet.

"Um… you sleep all right… Jubilee?" he asked, feeling nervous and edgy, his instincts fully alert.

"I slept fine, thanks for sticking by me… I REALLY appreciate it," she said, responding to the change in subject. She knew him well, and he saw the hurt vanish into comfortable familiarity as she lay there looking up at him. He sat up, propping himself against the headboard, and stretching.

"I've never slept that sound… since…" he got out, rubbing his hand through his hair, making it stand up more than it usually did. "Well anyway, at least you got some decent rest. About flamin' time…"

"I'm sorry… if I… um…" Jubilee trailed off. "But it wasn't like you did anything I didn't want…"

"I know darlin', I know, but that doesn't make it right," he sighed as he closed his eyes and looked down in shame. This couldn't go on. Something had to give. He couldn't cut and run with her needing him so much though. Just how she needed him was yet to be seen, but he had a feeling.

"I'm sorry, I wish I could help it, but I can't…" Jubilee sniffled. The last words were blurted out, and she turned on her side, her eyes burning with tears as she anticipated the gruff reply.

"Jubilee please don't say it… if it's what yer gonna say…"

"It doesn't matter if I'm 21 or 41, does it," she said as she curled up, her back turned to him.

"It makes it worse that you are, Jubilee and that's the problem," he gritted. He sat there for a long time, torn as he heard silence, and knew she was trying her damnedest not to cry. He didn't want to leave the bed where he lay, and yet he thought he probably should have. Each of her quiet sobs tore at him, and he wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her every way possible. However that would make it worse.

Realizing he was being a jerk for not at least explaining better, he tugged her shoulder, "Aww Jubes, don't cry I hate it when ya cry…"

"Leave me alone… just… you made your point…" she sobbed, pushing his hand away.

"C'mere… just turn over an' look at me… I need to make something clear to you," Wolverine pleaded, rolling on his side to face her as he grabbed her shoulder again.

She rolled over to look at him, her eyes red. Logan wiped away her tears with his finger, his face creasing into anguish as he saw her torment there. Her face was too young to carry such grief. Although with those tendrils of hair hanging around her face, and the curve of her lips and the depth in her eyes, there was innocence lost that no longer resembled the child he once knew. It was not puppy love, but something far deeper. "Logan, even if it's just that one kiss we just had, I don't care…"

"Jubilee, please don't…" he shook his head. He couldn't resist tucking her hair behind her ears, the long strands irresistible to the touch. A primal urge to protect, to extend his reach to what belonged rightfully to him overwhelmed Wolverine, and a low rumbling vibrated his throat. It was almost impossible to deny what his body was telling him, and what his heart was urging him to confess to himself. Nature told him that he had every right to the female in front of him, for the pheromones and body temperature she exuded had awakened his own desires. Animal urges that all humans, mutant and normal shared were touching him with a vengeance, and he gritted his teeth as he started the battle he hated.

"You don't know what its like fer me, with these senses. Any minute I could go wild and take you… an maybe really hurt ya, like some animal… if I was to let go. But I'm a man, not an animal, and you're family to me," Wolverine gritted as his hand slid down and gripped her arm, pushing her away from him. Jubilee's fingers slid up and gripped his arm, sinking into his flesh. He grabbed her hand and pried it off her arm as he turned over and faced away.

"I just want you with me… don't leave me alone again… please… I didn't mean to make you think that…" Jubilee whispered, her fingers digging into his arms. "You don't have to do anything more than just be with me… I know I should be scared of what you are, but you know that I can hurt you just as badly as I can you… healing factor or not," Jubilee breathed deeply her body aching with passion because his strong arms were drawing her towards m, and his body vibrated with the rumbling in his throat.

"I won't darlin', I won't…" he said as he pulled her head to rest on his chest and shushed her. Her plea tore at him, and he knew the battle she was facing. "Creed almost killed you. I won't leave you alone if he's after you, and if I ever hurt ya in any way I'd never forgive myself… and if he did…"

Jubilee pushed against his chest, releasing him as she sighed, "Maybe then if you believe that, you should just take me back now… that'd be easiest… cause I don't want to hurt you…"

"Yeah, but do you want to go back. I should go, but you need me… an I can't just… that kiss proves that it's dangerous…"

"I don't want to make you hate me for this. I enjoyed it when you kissed me… but if it means losing you as a friend, I'll go… I'll back off, and we'll pretend it never happened… that we never almost…"'

"Stop right there darlin," he said as he put a finger over her lips. "Let's stop before we say something we can't ever take back."

Jubilee leaned up, her lips parted but she could find no words. The sincere look in his blue eyes was filled with a quiet determination. The lines in his face deepened, and he seemed to be struggling to find the words to express whatever was running through his head right now. Each word he seemed to be picking and hanging on to. Jubilee wanted to reassure him, but felt as if she dared not speak.

So many things were running through his head as he glanced down at her. She needed him, but in what way? How many other people would he lose because he was who he was? He'd missed her, and she was there, available and devoted to him. She loved him, he could see that clearly written. Wolverine would have to have been blind or stupid not to notice that it went way back to their first times being around one another. What would people think… what would Kitty think? She'd told him he was nuts. A nut to think that age was a reason to stop hoping. There weren't many people his age anyway. And it was the highlander syndrome. So flamin what if she was a teenager when he met her. He always treated her like an adult in most ways except this one. Logan pulled her back into his arms, and they were lying alongside one another again.

Jubilee began to lose her own control as tears dripped down her cheek. Logan smelled the salt and the chemicals released. He pushed her away, resting his feet on the floor as he got up from the bed, and began to pace the room. "This has to stop, Jubilee if' I'm going to help you. We'll just chalk it up to lack of control. And…"

"I know you'll never hurt me, you're not like him… don't even THINK that…. I trust you, I need you… don't worry about letting go with me… you could always be you before…" She leaned up and kissed his ear as she hugged him from behind. Opening her lips slightly and ran her tongue teasingly against him.

Logan turned over and grabbed her hand, shaking her head. "Don't do this to yourself… please… I'm beggin' ya kid… this isn't the right time or place for any of this… you mean too much to me… yer not thinkin' clearly…"

Jubilee felt his words crash over her, effective as cold water to dampen her passions. She blinked, feeling his hand pushing hers away, and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry… damn… I'm NOT thinking clearly, Logan. You're right… my brain REALLY must be mixed up to expect that you…"

"It's okay darling, we all lose our heads… just means it was the RIGHT decision getting you away… but we have to be VERY careful if…"

"Logan, I must speak with you," the Professor's voice echoed in his head.

"Aww cripes," Logan muttered as he glanced up. Jubilee heard the telepathic summons and groaned.

"Not NOW," Jubilee protested.

"Jubilation, this concerns you too. I'm sorry for intruding, but I must speak with both of you…"

"Can't this wait?" Logan growled, his body blocking her from the astral projection. Ludicrous because she was still fully clothed in her pajamas as he was in his sleepwear, but the instinct to protect was overriding all else.

"Your timing reeks, Professor," Jubilee said sullenly as she turned over on her side, and they both saw the astral face of the professor appearing.

"Gimmie one good reason… I shouldn't just tell ya t' get lost, Chuck," Wolverine gritted. "We're doin' fine without yer help…"

"If this is about the birthday party…" Jubilee said. "I'm sorry to disappoint everyone, but I'm doing well enough on my own…"

"I can see that," the Professor commented neutrally. "Which is why none of us have intruded on your privacy till now. I've done all I can to prevent Scott and the others from searching after you. I've assured them you are safe…"

," the Professor commented neutrally.

"You've been spyin' on me, that's what yer tryin' t' say, right Charley," Wolverine gritted, as he sat bold upright in the bed, pushing Jubilee behind him as his claws slid out with a metallic 'snickt' jubilee knew all too well.

"Calm down, Logan," Jubilee whispered. "Professor, could you make it quick please?"

"It's cause of THEM that ya needed t' leave in the first place, darlin…" Logan grunted

"I'm aware of the events leading up to this decision. I did not condone what was done," The professor said gently.

"That makes it all better chuck, doesn't it?" Wolverine laughed harshly. "So, are we supposed to toddle back home like good little X-men now cause…"

"Logan, stop!" Jubilee said. "Professor, I needed to get away. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but ever since I came

back I've been nothing but a pain. It was easier to leave and get things straightened out for myself. Logan came with me of his own choice…"

"An' if ya don't like it, tough luck, bub," Wolverine interrupted. "So just mind yer own flamin' business."

"You are still an X-man… both of you…"

"Yeah, but as I recall, we're free to come an' go as long as we don't' disrupt the team," Wolverine said.

"You can tell him, Logan," Jubilee nodded.

"Jubes here was losing her grip, and if it wasn't fer me interruptin' and such, she'd blown the whole room to smithereens. Everyone else was just too caught up t' notice what was really goin' on…"

"I know," the Professor said. "I'm not ordering you to stop what you are doing, but I must know if you intend to come back, and when… you're part of a team…"

the Professor said.

"When things are settled," Wolverine said flatly. "I've got some other business to take care of, some old hurts to be smoothed over. An' Jubilee needs me. End of story. If Scott an flyboy don't like it…"

"There is the question of your current pursuit… if it is out of need to protect her… it is possibly dangerous…"

"Stuff it Chuck, I'm sick o' you all tellin' me what I can n' can't do…" Wolverine shouted.

"So am I," Jubilee said.

"I'm aware of your feelings for one another," he said.

"Excuse me but that's NOT what's goin' on here…" Wolverine started.

"Kitty herself told me that she and Colossus were lovers. I was shocked, but they were both consenting to this…"

"So what does THIS have to do with me?" asked Jubilee.

"Chuck, don't EVEN start with me. This is NOT what you're sayin so… it's cause she looks up to me… like some father figure… but it's not the same thing like Colossus n' Kitty…"

"She told me herself that…"

"Kitty told ya?" Wolverine's eyes widened. "Pun'kin? My little Kitty Pryde? What DOES she know about…"

"I must apologize," coughed Xavier, embarrassed.

"You should be. It's NONE of your business," Jubilee said quickly. "And if you're reading our minds you'd know better that…"

"So what DID she say?" asked Wolverine quickly.

"She came to your defense, both of you, with regards to why you left. My initial reaction was to condone Scott's search for you, but I am beginning to see that if I reject your relationship as it is developing, it will only serve to drive the wedge between you and the X-men even further. To do so is counterproductive and futile…"

"So, what's it gonna be, Chuck?" Wolverine asked.

"I'll make you a deal," Jubilee said. "We'll agree to come back, if you leave us alone and keep everyone else from trying to find us, till we get my problems under control. And we'll even keep in touch and let you telepathically trace us. But you gotta promise to keep this all to yourself where we are… an then we'll come back…"

"You sure darlin?" Logan asked, surprised by her sudden boldness.

"That is acceptable," Charles said with relief. "I would hate to lose you as members of the family. Both of you. It will take time to accept what is transpiring, but it is not worth losing your respect or love. I only want what is best. I urge you both to carefully consider what you are about to embark upon…"

Charles said with relief.

"If we need any advice, we'll ask you first, but please don't tell Scott n' Jean yet, I don't want them messing this up!" Jubilee said quickly.

"They won't interfere, you have my word. But don't be rash. I know the significance of your relationship. It would be a pity to jeopardize it. I shall bid you good luck. And take care of one another. You always have a home with us…" Xavier said.


The radiance faded, leaving Jubilee and Logan alone together. "Wow, I'm glad that's over with," Jubilee said.

He sighed, sitting up and looked at her, unsure. Logan grumbled as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"Logan, you aren't going to leave are you…"

"Darlin, I gotta think," Logan sighed as he walked over and slid his bathrobe on. He had his back turned, and Jubilee sighed with the implications.

"Please don't walk away from me, we need to talk about this…" Jubilee said. "You can't just ignore what happened here…"

"For the lovva Pete, this is tearing me up as much as you, darlin…" Wolverine said as he kept his back turned. Jubilee slid out of bed, and walked up to him, reaching to touch his shoulder. "Don't start again…"

"I'm not going to let you just…" Jubilee started before she choked. "You're not going to just leave are you…"

"No… but…"

"I know you need to sort this out. So do I… but I don't want to lose you again…" Jubilee whispered, laying her head against his back as he stared out the window. She hugged him from behind, and Wolverine turned in her arms. They were both of equal height, and she was able to look him directly in the eyes. They were a shade or two lighter than her own, but they burned with seriousness.

"Ya said that before, darlin," he said. "We're talking in so many circles we're repeating ourselves. So we don't know what's gonna happen."

"Do you want us… to keep going like this… cause if you don't say so now, and we cut it out," Jubilee said firmly. "I couldn't stand being jerked around again… and having you hate me cause you think I'm forcing you to fall in…"

"Knock it off, Jubilee that's not what I'm saying…" Wolverine interrupted her with a finger on her lips. "What I mean is… I guess the best I can do is figure out just WHAT this all means…"

"That's all I wanted to hear," she whispered as he continued to hold her to his chest. She felt weary, and the last few months were catching up to her with a vengeance.

"Why doncha order us up some breakfast? You know I can't think on an empty stomach?"

"You get cranky," she said with a chuckle. Wolverine grunted in reply and pulled her into his arms possessively.

"You got it darlin'. Now, what about some grub? I'm famished, an' I know you didn't have the best breakfast yesterday with those yahoos…"