Mel: Why isn't anyone reviewing?
Figgy: Because we all hate you...
Mel: WAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Figgy: There there...it's going to take a long time for her to calm down folks...so here's an update:
Chapter Four: My Heart Will Go "Bong"
"Freya." I whisper hoarsely. "What are you doing her?"
Freya looks at the pavement. "Well, I was round the city, and since I don't have a place of my own here…you don't mind me staying here for a little while, do you?"
I find myself blushing madly. "No, of course not!" I babble. Freya smiles at me again and I help her bring her suitcases in. For a short while I stare at her, transfixed. Those eyes are hypnotic, I tell you…
I shake my head vigorously. What am I thinking? I've only just been with her five minutes and already I'm thinking about her! GAH!
There's just one tiny thing. Freya's got this perfume on…I don't know what it is, but it's overwhelming, really fragrant and…pretty.
I notice that Freya has brought in four suitcases.
"Um…Freya? Have you got your entire house in there?" I ask.
Freya blushes. "Oh no, Fratley. Two for me and tow for Amarant."
Amarant. AMARANT?
"Amarant?" I squeak Freya nods.
"Yup yup yup!" she says playfully.
AS if by magic, Amarant Coral walks in, with his red hair and green skin. As soon as Freya sees him, she looks different. She looks adoringly at him.
Oh yuck I am going to retch. And not just because I was drunk…
"Been hitting the drink, Fratley?" Amarant jokes, eyeing me up and down. I blush and wish I did not stink like an ashtray…
"Oh Ammy be nice! And you should also be grateful for him letting us stay!" Freya giggles. She holds his big hand and swings it slightly.
"Are…you two…going out?" I ask. Freya blushes and nods. Amarant smiles at her.
She looks totally different when she's with him. As if she's turned into a giggling schoolgirl with her hair in girly plaits.
What's happened to her? The way she looks at Amarant with gooey eyes makes me want to shove two fingers down my throat. Before I can do so Gus walks in.
"Er…hi," Gus says, obviously wondering WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?
"Gus, Freya and Amarant need a place to stay. You don't mind do you?" I ask. Gus shakes his head.
"No, sure, you can stay. Hey Frats, got a good excuse for Snoddly as to why you weren't there yesterday or today? 'Cos I bumped into him today and boy was he mad."
"I was drunk and about to commit suicide." I say truthfully. Freya giggles as if it was a joke. Hey it's true! I was about to top myself before YOU rang the doorbell, Miss Spoilsport.
Geez that's perfume's way lovely though…
Freya and Amarant go up to the spare room to unpack. It's all right; they'll only be here for a few days, that's all. Just take a deep breath and everything will be just fine…
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now she tells me they're staying for the ball!
My life is over! When she finds out that I have no date she will tell everyone and they will all laugh at me…that's it! I am NOT going to the ball. Nu-uh. Definitely not. No way.
Seems Freya, though. Though is chatting on about the ball. She's going with Amarant (no! Not really! She's going with the muffin man who lives on Dury Lane! Sarcasm…one of the greatest inventions in life).
"Freya could you pass the salt?" I ask (whoops, I forgot the mention, we are at the dinner table). Freya's nods and does so. As she leans towards me a wave of perfume wafts over me. For unknown reasons I get an electrical surge whenever I smell that perfume.
My moment of insanity (heh heh) ends shortly as my eyes widen and my mouth gapes at Freya's hand.
"What's up?" Freya asks puzzled. My voice goes all croaky.
"Where-did-you-get-that-ring?" I ask. Freya blushes as she admires a golden ring with a ruby on.
"Oh…well…I was hoping to tell you later, but…Ammy and I are engaged."
At this moment I spit out my water (all over Gus – whoops) and start to have a coughing fit. I fall off my chair as a drenched Gus tries to help me.
"Oh crap! Fratley are you alright?" Freya asks frantically.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I croak, getting up. I suddenly feel as if I'm going to throw up. "I just need to DO SOMETHING!" I yell as I rush upstairs, into the bathroom, and throw up in the toilet.
I don't bother going back downstairs, I just splash water on my face and try to peek myself up a bit. Please excuse me while I take my feelings out.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Phew. That's better.
I don't believe it! Freya! Engaged to AMARANT! Ooh…so queasy…
By the time I get back downstairs the "lovebirds" have gone into the lounge. Gus is washing up so I help him.
"I understand how you feel Frats," Gus says. " I mean, it must have been a huge shock for you, and all." He pats me on the shoulder, and I sigh.
"Too right. Geez, but that perfume…"
WAIT A MO, WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT FREYA'S PERFUME? Oh dear…
I just can't describe it. It's so…pretty – the smell is a mixture that even the best of perfume creators could never be able to create. Yes…I suck at descriptions…
After washing up, we go into the lounge. For a few minutes we are unsure what to do until Freya claps her hands and says, "ooh, I know! Let's hire a DVD down at the rental store!" (We have loads here?) She sounds like a ten year old, for Gaia's sake. What's wrong with her?
Then my brain (which always proves me wrong) reminds me that she is in love with Amarant and so has every right to be girlish whenever she is in his presence…my brain (unlike the rest of me) is very intelligent, wise and understandable!
So we go down to the rental store. Freya gives me an apology.
"I'm really sorry about earlier on, Fratley." She says. "Tell you what. You can choose the film, Fratley, since you're the one who deserves it for being such a good friend!"
I swallow the lump in my mouth and smile. She's just doing this to make me forgive her for going and getting herself engaged to "darling Ammy". Pur-lease! Since when did she ever (or did he ever let her) start to call him Ammy? At least it's better than Snugglepuss or Ammypuddycat or Figaro…HOW DID FIGARO COME UP!
As Amarant and Freya are simpering over the romantic films (well Freya is anyway) I am wondering what to choose. Hmm I am going to choose a really gross film.
Except I can't because Gus has told me off for looking through the horror stuff.
"Stop deliberately trying to scare them, Frats! I know you're mad but…just try to accept it." He says.
EXCUSE ME? THIS IS ABOUT ME MAD WITH THE ENGAGEMENT?
Um, yeah right. To be honest, I do not, and could not, care less. So meh to you, Gus!
I'm looking through the Disney stuff (DISNEY? ON GAIA? Disney is everywhere! BEWARE…) when the lovebirds sidle up. Freya suddenly spots something.
"Oh my gosh! Sleeping Beauty! I LOVED that film when I was a child! Hey, Ammy, you haven't seen this have you? Ok, here's the film we want!" she babbles, and before I can stop her, she takes the film to the counter to rent it out.
I don't believe it. She said I could choose the film. She broke her promise. All for that rotten lizard man.
So when we get back home I am brutally forced (well, not brutally, but it FELT like it) by Gus to watch the film to be polite. Freya and Amarant coo at it and she says things like "I remember this part!" or "That's bit always scared me!" what does she take him for, a six-year old?
At the end I am practically snoring so I trundle upstairs to bed. Yawn I am so tired…
Why did Freya have to turn up? Why did she get engaged to the lizard man? Why did Snottly ask Nina first? WHY WAS I EVER BORN?
Ooh that reminds me, I have to see Snottly tomorrow. Work stuff, he says. I bet he's just going to a have right old rant…
"I understand just how you feel, Fratley," Snottly remarks. I am sure I can see a sneer on his lips. "If there's anything you want to say to me then do," he continues.
YES DO YOU MIND IF I CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF (AKA KILL YOU) WITH MY SPEAR RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HATE YOU AND WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!
After a groaning session (aka work), at home, I'm looking through Freya's stuff. Why? Because there is something that I need to find…
I look everywhere. And then, I find it.
In a small translucent heart-shaped bottle, pink, with the word ANGEL imprinted on it.
So that's what it's called. I happily sniff it, as I think I am sort of "addicted" to it. I lie on the bed, sniffing the bottle, closing my eyes. I hear a cough and as I look up I see a cross Freya. Ah. Oh dear.
"Fratley," Freya says, "A: what are you doing in my room, B: what are you doing with my perfume, and C: WHY ARE YOU SNIFFIN IT?"
Mel: I am fine
Figgy: I like perfume sniff sniff sniffy!
Mel: GIVE THAT BACK YOU
Figgy: Wah! (runs away) PLEASE RR...
