Disclaimer: I don't own C.S.I. or any of it's characters. In fact I don't even own the television I religiously watch the show on so let's move on to the story.

The title will make more sense after the story goes on. This is my first fanfic so I'm not good at this title thing yet.

Pipe Dreams

Exactly twelve hours after the incident there was a soft knock at Sara Sidle's door. Knowing exactly who it was she steadied herself before slowly opening it.

"Grissom," she sighed, "I would love the fact that you're visiting me again so soon if I didn't know that you are only here because I messed up again."

He blinked at her, head tilted, his face looking confused at her words. If she didn't know him as well as she did she would have believed the look.

"I was just concerned. I thought, after everything that happened, you should talk. Something obviously has you upset again," he finally stated.

Sara couldn't help but grin when she realized a few weeks ago she would have praised God for the man in front of her making such an offer. But something had changed.

"It seemed to help," Grissom added.

Sara leaned her heard against the open door. He was right. Last time had helped. She told him things she hadn't said out loud in a very long time and a huge burden had been lifted. She had realized that being thrown into the system as she was, she had lost a part of herself. Then she had spent her life looking for someone to fill that vital void. But the more she focused on filling the void, the more shattered she felt. The more she dreamt of Grissom saving her from the emptiness, the less she focused on just keeping herself together.

Slowly Sara began to realize Grissom was still standing outside her door waiting for her answer. "Thank you. Thanks for the concern but there's nothing you can do."

Grissom blinked, obviously not expecting that response. "Sara…you realize…"

"Stop! I do realize! I know what I did. I was actually there. And it's something I need to deal with myself. I know where you'll be Grissom. If I need you."

She began to slowly close the door. The way he whispered her name one last time almost made her heart break, but she kept going until she heard the soft click. Again she leaned her head against the door. She knew it wouldn't be long before some of the others heard about what happened and came to check up on her. She didn't want her friends to feel she was pushing them away but she wasn't some weepy person anymore. She was stronger. She would handle it and not bother anyone else.

She breathed in deep. "This time I save myself," she whispered into the air.