Dislaimer: I did not let the dogs out. Except Bandit.
He had the FLCL Addict OST. He was the exception.
Ranma let the others out, I promise!
AN: I decided that I like giving general titles to my chapters, so I'm gonna do that now.
The Inner Demon Chapter 9: Haruko is Sad
Ryoga was not afraid of much. Toss him in a pit of snakes and he would laugh. He was, however, afraid of Ranma. The Demon. He was kept up for weeks on end, able only to think of Ranma and what their next horrible meeting would be like. It made this situation ironic. He had resolved to kill the source of his fear. The thing that made him weak. He did not want to hurt anyone, but somehow this had always happened. Now there was Haruko. He wasn't sure how he felt about her. Sure, she was much like Ranma. But she was different. Maybe things would finally be resolved. Maybe things would get worse. One thing was for sure: Ryoga the Stampede, the Humanoid Earthquake, would not run any more.
Part 1: The Stampede
Ryoga had a normal life. He went to school, he made the grade, he excelled in science (inherited trait from his father) even though his language skills and his actions made him sound like a doofus. Also, no one messed with him. He could crush a cinder block in one hand. He was six. Then there was Ranma.
It was customary for the students to pay tribute to him. He was no bully, mind you. He was an anti-bully. Anyone that bullied the student body had to go through him. For some reason, he was treated to the best of the cafeteria's breads, at the expense of his fellows. He told them not to go through the trouble, but, hey, they liked the way he stopped Lan-Tsu, an exchange student, from pushing the fifth graders around. The poor boy didn't know what he had been asking for.
Ranma was the new threat, though. Ryoga's protege, Zell Dincht, was to recieve the tribute in place of Ryoga on one of his few sick days. This didn't happen the second day of Ranma's arrival. By that day, Ranma had taken over the bread trade. Not through intimidation , not at first, but through his inhuman speed. He was easily as fast as Ryoga was strong. Zell tried to stand up for Ryoga in his absence.
Ryoga found Zell in front of his house the next morning. Zell was rushed to the hospital. A note to Ryoga was stapled to Zell's right hand. It read, "I'm takin' over -Ranma Saotome, Kamaitachi."
Ryoga felt such rage and sadness as he could not describe. He went to school to take on this evil monster. He managed to convince the students to take a stand. They managed to take most of the bread. Ranma was unhappy at this. It came to blows. Most of the students were badly injured by a demonic child with glowing blue eyes. This demon was confronted by Ryoga, who was angry beyond his ability to control. He managed to score only one blow on Ranma (who had hit him many times), but this one attack was so vicious that Ranma flew against a wall.
"You hit me!" Ranma's eyes were as wide as saucers, "Tell me you didn't just hit me! OH GOD! WHY!?"
"You are very bad!" Ryoga limped towards Ranma.
"We aren't like them!" Ranma teared, no longer demonic, "We are better! I'll show you!" Ranma then floated into the air and a blue aura flared about him.
Just then, a man in a white gi and glasses flew in and subdued Ranma. He put Ranma in an inescapable hold. Ryoga limped towards the man. This man was in many photographs at the Hibiki home. Who was he?
The look the man gave Ryoga just then seemed to say, "I'm sorry that you had to know this."
The next day, Ryoga had wandered into a place he did not recognize. It was an empty lot. It was quickly getting dark. What a time to have his curse take hold! Then he heard an unearthly growling. He turned quickly, just in time to see the monster of yesterday, only a thousand times worse.
"i will unLock YouR trUe power."
Ryoga was seized with horrendous pain. He felt so many negative emotions. Time seem distorted in his agony and in the maelstrom of negativity. Just when he felt that he was going to give in, he felt a strong desire to prove that he was different from the beast. It was even more painful. He was not sure how long he had been there. "WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME!?" He thought he had screamed. He awoke three days later in a hospital. His father than explained that he was the cousin of the monster. They were blood relatives. This was too much.
How many years later was it when they met again? This was a good meeting, though. Probably the only.
"I have control over the monster now."
"What?"
"Put down your fists. I apologize. Now I channel its power for the good of all."
"That's impossible."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I feel bad about what I did to you under its influence. You and me are like brothers. We gotta stick together."
"Hmm."
"Look, I promise that I'll never hurt anyone again."
They travelled together for a few days. Then Ranma disappeared mysteriously. Some time later, he had learned of an incident involving a child that had injured many people while acting like a cat. That sounded like Ranma's M.O. Ryoga had resolved to learn the truth. A few years later, he met Ranma again in Hokkaido. This was an accident, as Ryoga had been picked up by his grandfather as he had wandered the streets. Ryoga's grandfather had the key answers as to the relationship between Ranma and Ryoga. He never had the chance to tell Ryoga, though. While Ryoga slept, Ranma snuck in and killed the one man that had agreed to tell Ryoga the truth. Ryoga awoke that morning to the smell of blood. It was everywhere. Ryoga felt sick. He ran to his grandfather's study and found a grinning Ranma waiting for him.
"Oops, I guess I broke my promise," Ranma laughed.
"Arrgh! Die!" Ryoga assumed a fighting stance.
"What? Are you going to try to hit me?" Ranma snickered and snapped his fingers, "I don't think so."
A red aura flared around Ryoga. That was a day that would live in infamy. A chunk of urban land in Hokkaido was destroyed. No one died directly, but many were killed in the ensuing week of anarchy. Ryoga ran. He just wanted away.
He ran into so many towns and cities, frequently running into Ranma, who beat and tortured him in secret. This often culminated in the destruction of villages or chunks of cities. Years passed before the most recent incident before the present.
Ranma and Genma had camped outside Jusenkyo prior to their trek to Joketsuko. Ryoga had caught Ranma collecting and catalouging the spring water. Needless to say, Ryoga was captured and used as a test subject. It was the worst night of his life since the Hokkaido incident. Morning came and Ryoga was left as a piglet.
It had been an arduous trek back to Japan. He had long ago taken to staying up ten days before sleeping. This led to hallucinations. Maybe he had hurt people or destroyed homes during this? He didn't know. He found himself in Nerima, eventually. Ranma was playing dumb. This was the most humiliating confrontation, even if not the most painful. The cement mixer notwithstanding.
Now there was Haruko and Kashin. With Kashin, he could use more of his power without losing control. At least, that's what he had thought. After the last battle, though...
[AN 8/18/03: Ok, Part 1 was not funny at all. Exposition like this shouldn't be. If we joke about Ryoga's past from his own view, then it WOULD seem like cowardice. As for how truthful this is, well, Ryoga thinks its how things happened. Maybe Ranma has his own (twisted) view, but this is whatcha get for now. By the way, I am not gonna start posting notes at the end of each part again. I'm sure this ruins the fun.]
Part 2: Kuno's Dilemma
Kuno had a problem. Or, rather, Kuno-chan had a problem. She could not dispell this illusion. Normally, she could ignore it, but the prolonged absence of certain parts made life very complicated for her. For some reason, her feelings towards Akane felt very different, as did her feelings towards Kama-chan while in this state. If the duration was short, this could be overlooked. But the way Kuno-chan was looked at while in that Sailor uniform was too much. She couldn't find a zipper or anything. Thank the gods that the lower undergarments were removable. This damnable spell must be removed.
"Aren't you going to fight!?" Akane shouted at the daydreaming Kuno-chan at the school entrance. Kuno-chan was the only morning challenger these days. She was also always wearing that stupid sailor suit. For the past two days since Ranma's kidnapping, Kuno-chan was in cursed form and in that revealing Sailor suit. Perhaps she had become a different kind of pervert?
"Ah! Yes, my beloved!" Kuno-chan looked at Akane with a glazed look. She didn't even enter a fighting stance, though.
"Well!?" Akane was flustered at the thought that Kuno-chan thought AKANE was going to attack first.
"Oh, yes," Kuno-chan snapped to attention again, "Mayhaps today's battle shall be called?"
"What?" Akane felt a little dizzy.
"I have problems that concern me to the point that I can not bring myself to other concerns at this time," Kuno-chan explained as she left campus.
Akane glazed out for a moment. Sayuri and Yuka ran up to her sides.
"Do you think something's wrong?" Yuka whispered.
"Maybe he's broken?" Sayuri speculated.
"From getting beat up?" Yuka wondered.
"Who cares? The pervert can do whatever he wants!" Akane stomped angrily.
Kuno-chan was not sure where to turn. She knew hot water no longer removed the illusion. She much dreaded her sister's lab. Although 100% sure that Kodachi's genius could fix anything, she was also acutely aware that she could break anything. He had tried using scissors to remove the uniform. It was too tough. Then it occurred to him. This had started with the magic he had been given!
Today, Kodachi had been approached by a strange man. The bespectacled man gave her a black pen and told her that if Kama-chan or Ranma Saotome ever acted aggressively towards her, that she should raise the pen into the air and shout the first word that came to mind. How strange. She kept it just in case. It had a magical feel to it.
She would analyze it later. Surely it's powers could be harnessed. Then the Greatest Scientific Genius ever to enter Martial Arts Gymnastics would be supreme! Which meant what, she could not say. She was positive that it was a good thing.
Kuno-chan was positive this was not a good thing. The business had been closed up until further notice. Where could Kuno-chan find her answers?
St. Hebreke was at Kodachi's command to the same extent as Nabiki had once had at Furinkan. She had the power of Akane and the shrewdness of Nabiki, but without that puke inducing stuff that Kasumi radiated. As to how Kodachi knew all of these details about the Tendos, well, she was well connected.
Kuno-chan was not well connected. Anyone she told her title to (in the hopes of gaining the precious information on this damnable illusion) would simply laugh and say something to the effect that that was ridiculous. Then there was Ranma. He followed her just out of sight and sound. Somehow, inexplicably, she knew where he was. Sure, she had brushed by Kama-chan once or twice, and tried to persuade the girl to aid her, but that failed with massive uppercuts. What a fist Kama-chan had!
Kodachi had picked up an interesting tidbit when asking for the name "Ranma Saotome." She had not believed that this could be the same as the dreaded Kamaitachi, but from the whispers (HIS name was whispered EVEN at St. Hebreke) she gathered that some menace was using the demon's name to control Furinkan. Her lout of a sibling probably didn't have a clue. If Tatewaki was permanently cursed, perhaps it would be safer to enroll one Tatewako Kuno in St. Hebreke. No doubt was in Kodachi's keen mind that Dear Brother knew of the Kamaitachi's existance first hand. Never before had Kuno missed two consecutive days of school (in order to preserve his "honor") unless by injury or illness (usually Kodachi's own doing).
Kuno-chan felt badly of wandering about town like an honorless derelict. Perhaps it was the blasted curse that had- NO! Kuno-chan refused to believe such sorcery possible! Unless... unless the gods were angered.
Passersby noted an odd teenage girl in a red sailor costume was on her knees, screaming about redemption. It was best to leave the crazies from Nerima alone.
Perhaps it was insanity. Kodachi felt quite lucid, anyway. But, of course, if the insane recognized their insanity, then they would be capable of rational thought, proving them sane. Of course, the insane had to prove insanity by rational means in order to justify it's existance. That was the way Kodachi saw things. It was logical to her, so it must be true, unless, of course, Kodachi were insane. Then it's irrationality would be proven by it's own rationality. Of course, if it were irrational, then it could not be proven so by its own logic, which would be incorrect.
She realized that she could go on like this for days, so she thought to the point. What was the point again? This was the reason why they all thought Kodachi was inferior. She would show them, she would show them ALL!
Kodachi's fourth period classmates ignored her usual midclass laughter, "Hohohohohohoho!"
Kuno-chan was deep in the dumps. Noooo doubt about it. Deep in the dumps. Having realized that no priest of any religion or any government would sanction a marriage between one who appeared to be a Sailor Girl with one who showed tough love with mallets or one who showed tough love with uppercuts save possibly California. But it was still out of the question, even so. Besides the expense (which the Family Kuno could easily bear) there would be the consummation. Kuno-chan shuddered at this thought. She hated this damnable illusion. Or curse. Just to be safe, she would sacrifice virgins at the Altar of Happiness (spelling correct) in China. First she would have to... no, no, NO! That would never work.
Kodachi thought of ways of capturing this "Kamaitachi." Nothing was invulnerable. Everything had a weakness to contain its own power by. Perhaps Kama-chan knew something of this?
Kuno-chan was wallowing in self pity. She was in the boy's bathroom. Ignorant of the stares she got as she entered a stall.
There had to be a way to make right what had gone wrong. Perhaps the "Kamaitachi" had the answers. The only way to get to the Kamaitachi, though, was to get to Kama-chan. Kuno-chan burst out of the stall and ran out of the bathroom and into the cafeteria (lunch was winding down). She shouted, "Kama-chan! I await you so that I may have a word with you!"
"Poor Kuno!" Sayuri whispered to Akane and Yuka, "And he used to be soooo cute."
"That new girl is so melodramatic, what is WITH her?" Yuka started.
"That new girl is Kuno, Yuka," Akane stated flatly.
"Oh! She must be Kodachi Kuno!" Yuka realized.
"Uh, no. That's Tatewaki," Sayuri clarified.
"Really!?" Yuka reddened. She usually was aware of these things better than Sayuri.
"Yep," Akane agreed. The resemblance was noticable at second thought (this thought paled Akane a bit).
Kuno-chan was taller than Kodachi by an inch or two and had short hair. Also there was the lack of Kodachi's charm. Although Kuno had an air of nobility, this felt more like fancy garnish than Kodachi's own air.
Mayhaps the lady Kama-chan did not wish to speak with her for the one incident the other day. The Monday incident. Thursday was here and yet she still wished to speak not with him?
"Hey, you wanna be Ranma's chick?" a boy sat beside Kuno-chan. A very red Kuno-chan. A very red Kuno-chan that Daisuke didn't recognize. Daisuke took the redness as a blush that signified gratefullness for the opportunity, "So I take it that you are honored to be the Lady of Furinkan High?"
"What is your name?" Kuno-chan mustered with controlled anger.
"Uh, Daisuke, Ranma's right hand man," Daisuke smiled his most charming smile.
"And how do I contact this Ranma?" Kuno-chan tried not to crack her teeth.
"Hey, I can't say when, but I here he hangs around the Tendos," Daisuke smiled. If this hottie wasn't for Ranma, then maybe...
Daisuke's thoughts were interrupted as he was batted into lower orbit by Kuno-chan's bokken, "Chauvanist!"
Akane was getting that dazed feeling again.
Kodachi felt dazed. Perhaps it was the shock of having a boy in St. Hebreke, or the fact that the boy was halfway imbedded into the turf in front of her.
"Heh!" Daisuke managed, "I.. l-landed on m-my feet." He was waist deep in earth.
Kuno-chan was waiting in front of the Tendo residence. If she waited long enough, Kama-chan, Akane Tendo, Nabiki Tendo, or Ranma Saotome would find her or his way in or out of the household.
The factor she had not expected walked right into her. Kasumi Tendo, long absent and now found. Her grey sailor suit was dirty and stained, but she appeared happy. The blood stains made Kuno-chan a little nervous, however, "Oh! Hello Tatewaki-kun!"
"You can tell?" Kuno-chan felt the dazed feeling that Akane had felt.
"Of course, don't be silly!" Kasumi giggled.
"Sweet victory it is for the name of Kuno!" Kuno-chan laughed.
Kasumi then removed a grey pen from one of her boots. She clicked a button and her stained sailor suit vanished, leaving her in a plain dress sans stains, "Why are you in Sailor Patrol mode, Kuno-kun?"
It dawned on Kuno. The pen! That was the cause and the cure! But... where was it?
Haruko had found a new toy. She loved to toss and catch it. It was strangely aerodynamic. It looked like a pen, but it was so obviously magical that she didn't even need her indicator to know so. She loved tossing it up and catching it. Up, down, up, down. Why would someone throw this away?
"What're YOU doing!?" Ryoga stomped next to her, startling her. She dropped it the five stories down the building and into the storm drain in the street.
"oopsie!" Haruko chuckled faintly.
"Let's get going," Ryoga gestured towards the Vespa, which was balanced on the edge of the building. Kashin shook his television head.
Part 3: Haruko meets Ranma!
By insane coincidence, just when Ryoga was ready to give up all hope of finding the monster, he sprouted cat ears. Then they ran into Ranma and Kodachi. More appropriately, though, they ploughed into Ranma-chan and Kodachi.
Everyone was floored. Kodachi was the first up, glancing around for injuries. Kama-chan was nowhere to be seen. Then she saw something peculiar. Some boy was unconscious and against a wall. He wore a red* bandanna, a yellow shirt, and black pants. And he had cat ears on the top of his head. She couldn't resist. She ran up to him and felt the ears. She then pulled one taut and produced a pair of shears. That's when a grey robot with a TV for a head interposed itself between them. It assumed a combat stance.
*Ryoga wears this in remembrance of the deaths he has realized that he caused.
"Ohohohohohoho!" Kodachi laughed, producing her ribbon, "You know not what you face! I am Kodachi Kunoichi Kuno! The Black Rose of Grief!"
Kashin was unfazed. He blasted forwards with a punch. Kodachi evaded this with a laugh and landed half a dozen ribbon strikes to him. She then whacked him over the head with a brick. He stumbled a bit.
She pushed forward, punching and kicking rapidly (she concealed this with a cleverly timed ribbon). This left dents in Kashin, who was beginning to malfunction. Its logic processors stated that this was not happening.
Suddenly, Kodachi's eyes grew to the size of saucers.
Ranma-chan awakened on the roof of a building. She had turned around in time to see a robot standing over a hunched, wide eyed Kodachi on the street. Though she could not see the robot's front, she was certain that it was preparing a death laser of some sort.
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No
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"Ha! I see that she touched Ryokun after all."
"Who!?" Ranma-chan turned around to see a taller girl with long, light red hair. She wore a red jacket, black pants, white boots, and yellow gloves. There was a large spatula on her back. It was like looking into a bizaare funhouse mirror.
"I'm goin' by Haruko nowadays," The girl smiled.
"You... you can't be!" Ranma-chan had been truly surprised for the first time ever.
"Yep, Rankun, honey," Haruko's voice changed somewhat, "It's me, Ukyo Kuonji."
"Uk..yo?"
"Whatever, Konatsu, I do not care whether Ukyo's on the loose again or not," Genma said to a very masculine looking ninja. This was the boy that Genma had taught for a few years while needing an assistant to control his own drinking during the time that Ranma tried to escape daily.
"It is my duty to see that lady Ukyo does not harm herself," Konatsu said as his oversized eyebrows waggled.
"I believe that if she wanted you to follow her around, she would have taken you with her," Genma sighed as he lost his third game of Poker. Konatsu was a jinx.
"But... you're a guy!" Ranma-chan felt strange about this situation.
"Do I feel like one?" Ukyo rubbed closely to Ranma-chan. No doubt about it. This was a girl.
"B-b-b-b-but?" Ranma-chan felt very nervous. Ukyo Kuonji was the guy that had accidentally turned his own hair red when they found the Master's book of magic.
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flay the imposter
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"C'mon! I've been searching for years!" Ukyo was making Ranma-chan uncomfortable.
"But," Ranma-chan remembered the Ukyo that she had sparred with all those years ago.
Ukyo seemed to catch the fact that Ranma-chan was uncomfortable by this point. She backed away and watched the pigtailed girl drop to her knees. Ukyo then offered Ranma-chan the thing that had brought them together, their favorite food, "Here's some of my spicy curry flavored okonomiyaki. Is this not proof that I am Ukyo?"
"You aren't MY Ukyo!" Ranma-chan slapped the okonomiyaki away.
"But I'm the way you wanted me to be!" Ukyo teared up.
A memory came unbidden to Ranma. One of him telling her to be more confident and to be as spontaneous as possible and that that was his own philosophy.
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What is this?
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"I'm sorry, Ukyo," Ranma-chan stood and found resolve, "but there can only be one of me."
Cat ears had appeared on Kodachi's head as she began to feel incredibly nauseous. She had been thrashing about while the robot just watched, as if it had no idea what was happening.
"It's her, isn't it!?" Ukyo looked down at Kodachi as her irises turned yellow. The tranformation to whatever creature that Ranma was was complete. Haruko dominated Ukyo now, "That can be fixed!"
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Brown... down,down,down... into the yellow hell. That's where you must go!
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A huge creature erupted from Kodachi's head. There was a mouth-like orifice at the top of a huge reddish sack, supported by three spider-like legs. Kodachi was still attached underneath. Kashin launched forward with a dive kick, which the beast deflected. Kashin got up and turned towards Ryoga, who was now standing, a look of horror on his face. "No more killing," He told Kashin as he found his resolve. The robot nodded in wholehearted agreement. As if it felt what he did.
He was absorbed.
"Die!" Haruko laughed insanely.
"No," a deep, resonating voice demanded behind her. A glowing blue-eyed Ranma-chan floated above, energy crackling about him.
"If this's the way its gotta be!" Haruko readied her spatula and flew at Ranma, a yellow intensity about her.
Kashin turned red, but, for the first time, sported a red bandanna. He blasted forward and assailed his opponent with punches and kicks. These ranged from simple, direct ground based attacks to spinning, sideways aerial attacks. The monster responded by using Kodachi as both a shield and a weapon. Kashin refused to harm her. He backed away from each attack. He briefly considered using the cannon, but realized that this would undoubtably kill the girl.
Haruko swiped with her spatula in midair. This missed, but as soon as Ranma-chan landed on the edge, she flipped the spatula around and began to fire spicy okonomiyaki at her. Ranma-chan dodged these easily and blasted forward.
Spicy okonomiyaki fell from the sky. Kashin began to leap and swat the stuff towards the beast to distract it. One accidentally landed in the thing's mouth. Ryoga knew what would happen from experience. The thing spit Kodachi at Kashin, who caught her. It sputtered a bit and deflated. Kashin then jumped and dived right into the creature with an attack that looked like a super refined Futai no Wami. A chunk of the thing exploded.
Haruko managed a hair thin dodge as Ranma-chan closed in. She whipped around and managed to lay a glancing blow against Ranma-chan. The pigtailed demon instantly twirled around. She found herself suddenly covered with warm goo.
"If I gotta kill ya, I wanna kill the real you," Haruko shouted, tears spontaneously rolling down her cheeks, despite her wide grin.
Ranma was in normal form. His old friend made a BAD mistake. An unearthly growl seemed to resonate from his chest as his mouth appeared to be in the motions of a laugh. If Haruko had had any sanity left, she would have wet herself.
The monster began assaulting Kashin violently. Kashin took it standing. Only the gashes made by Kodachi remained. He then began to back down the street. The thing followed him, gashing and slashing wildly.
What it didn't realize was that it was being maneuvered away from Kodachi and into an angle that made it unlikely at most that she would be hurt. The symbols for "Kakenzan" flashed on Kashin's screen.
Ranma's flash of deep blue, almost black, energy aura burned away the substance. He looked like a devil right out of a fairy tale.
Haruko was unperturbed. She looked quite feral as well. She was grinning madly, despite the near constant tears from her eyes. Her teeth looked almost like fangs and her eyes were like those of a cat. She was like the Cheshire Cat.
Ranma seemed to hesitate at this observation, but only for a moment, before he blasted forward.
It had appeared that the red blade that had formed from Kashin's palm had made one horizontal stroke into the monster. It fell into five pieces. Kashin dispersed the energy and approached the awakened, and quite startled, Kodachi Kuno.
"No," Kodachi appeared to be panicked, "It's... Heaven's God of Fire! Lord Katenshinou!"
The word "No" flashed on Kashin's screen, followed by "Kashin."
"Lord Kashin!" Kodachi felt faint. She resolved to hold still, though. She approached the robot cautiously. She felt the gouges she had given it earlier, "What have I done?" She then quickly attached a small device in one of the gouges, incapacitating Kashin instantly, "That clearly was not the right way to enslave a god!"
[AN: I would never force Mamimi to merge with Kodachi. My cruelty has its limits.]
Ranma was repeatedly, and rapidly, beating Haruko. That was apparent. What was not apparent was how she withstood each blow to return one of her own. Finally, Ranma spin kicked her over the edge of the building. He approached the edge and looked over. It was clear that she had not hit bottom.
Haruko had flown across the way and found herself in an office building. People scattered as she landed on a desktop computer. She rose, bruised, bloody, but unbowed and cackling like a madwoman. She suddenly felt a strange aura. Her magic indicator was clanking like it was as crazy as she.
"Haruko Haruhara," A voice spoke in her mind, "Ukyo Kuonji."
"Er?" She looked around, but saw only frightened office workers.
"I am not physically present," the voice continued, "But there is a gift for you in the dumpster in the alley past the watercooler."
Haruko looked around, spotting a watercooler to the left of a blue bathroom door. To the left of the cooler was an open window, "Ha!" She hopped from cubicle to cubicle, dodging mortified workers. Then she leapt out of the building and flipped onto her Vespa, which was waiting for her at the bottom. She was at one end of an alleyway. Ranma had become present at the other end.
He smiled victoriously. This was, coincidentally, the same alley that he had fought Shampoo and Ryoga in. He recognized the "new back entrance" to the building Ryoga had burst from with his new technique. How intriguing.
Haruko then dashed at Ranma, who prepared to strike a killing ki punch. Then she jumped into a blue dumpster to her left. At first Ranma laughed. Then he realized that there shouldn't be a dumpster in this alley. A flash of light and the feeling of a great power nearby confirmed his thoughts. Haruko leapt out of the dumpster in a yellow sailor suit.
"Damn!" Ranma stumbled, "Well, I think I've had enough of this."
"Not so fast!" Haruko withdrew a bladed spatula. It was like her normal one, except that it was, oddly, blue.
"You are a yellow sailor, with a blue and white spatula for a weapon?" Ranma asked, sincerely.
"I guess so," Haruko blinked, "Wierd, huh?"
"Kinda," Ranma nodded.
"You like?" Haruko smiled.
"It's kinda neat, I guess," Ranma conceded.
"Wanna hold it?" Haruko offered.
"Boy, would I!" Ranma ran up and snatched the spatula, taking a few practice swings and examining it's shape and texture. Then he handed it back, "That is one sweet maiming instrument!"
"God, but I gotta wear these dud duds," Haruko gestured to the offensively bright yellow sailor suit.
"Ha!" Ranma chuckled good naturedly.
"I get ta keep my gloves and my bracelet, though,"
Haruko smiled.
"Yeah, you got good taste," Ranma nodded sagely.
"Yeah, you too," Haruko chuckled in return.
"Hey! Wanna kill each other now?" Ranma asked excitedly.
"Ooooh yeeeah!" Haruko raised her 'sweet maiming instrument' and began laughing again. Ranma jumped back a few yards and glowed darkly again. Just then, Kodachi wandered into the alley, lugging an inoperative Kashin behind. She was completely unaware of what was happening around her. Then she looked up at the glowing Ranma Saotome.
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Boo.
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Kodachi sceamed, "Kamaitachi!!!" What was strange was that she was laughing joyously, "Hohohohoho!" She then produced a black pen and shouted, "Vengeance!" There was a flash of light and Kodachi was suddenly in a black leotard that, aside from the lack of a skirt and the complete absence of sleeves, was almost identical to a sailor costume, "I asked for custom alterations, just so that I could preserve the name of Kuno in styyyyle!"
"Wait," Haruko's eyes gimped and one twitched, "You got a CUSTOM outfit!?"
"Is that not obvious, peon?" Kodachi turned up her nose on the inferior sailor.
Ranma took this opportunity to umisenkan his way out of the area.
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I hate cats more than being wet.
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"Didja just say ya were gonna..." Haruko had a throbbing vein in her head.
"Hoho," Kodachi laughed into one hand, "What an unsophisticated form of self denigration!"
"I don't rightly know whatcha just said, but I'm gonna make you real dead!" Haruko screamed and charged forward. The 8 o' clock news was gonna have a field day with this one.
Part 4: Musings
Haruko had handily defeated Kodachi after ONLY nine hours of fighting. The stupid fool ACTUALLY believed that the fifth truce and late dinner break was for REAL! It was real rich! Hah hah! Haruko was at a loss as to where Kashin and Ryoga were, but figured that they'd be at the center of tomorrow's mecha battle.
Yep, it'll be something wild. Maybe she give life to the image of a gunslinging hand or a carnivorous cell phone eater, or maybe... ah, screw it, she'd just pick sumpthin at random, like always. That TV-kun thing was pretty neat-o. Maybe she could get another one for herself.
It'd be like that damn pen. It had taken her twenty minutes to figure out all of its functions. Boy, would Ranma be sorry when...
Ranma.
What about Ranma?
It was clear that Ranma had never felt for Ukyo what she had felt for him. But... maybe she could have a second chance as Haruko?
..
..
..
Naah.
She had to go through with killing him.
He saw nothing but Ukyo in her. And not the Ukyo she had wanted to be.
His death was the only thing that could fill the void of honor. Her irises flashed brown for an instant and she broke down, sobbing.
Ryoga was unhappy. He had lost Kashin at some point. He remembered being crapped out. Then he saw Haruko beating on the previous girl, except that this girl was in a black leotard with sailor trimmings. And she fought back well. He had blacked out when he was hit in the head by flying debris. Fifteen times. When he awoke, Kashin was gone and the area was in rubble. Damn machines always walking away. Now he had to find Haru... oh damn! He suddenly found himself inside a classroom in some school in Nerima. Ah, he might as well sleep. Haruko would not let Ranma leave alive.
Ranma had good day. No Genma, lots of fighting, Kuno trapped in cursed form, more fighting... and now he had a rival! Joy. He had more that reached his quota for destruction.
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Let's celebrate by popping off Soun Tendo's head. Like a barbie doll's!
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Ranma shook the notion from his head. Nah, he'd just sleep and see what his underlings had done for him in his absence.
"Uh, Ranma?" Akane entered the dojo. Ranma had bound his own ankles and was swinging himself against a cinder block wall that he had constructed somehow.
"Yes, Akane?" Ranma laughed knowingly.
"What are you doing?" She had a not of concern in her voice.
"Trainin'?" Ranma seemed surprised by this question, as though he thought the reason should be obvious.
"Ah," Akane exited without even breaking a single brick. Poor Ranma, he ACTUALLY thought that that was training. Genma would die for this. As to why Ranma was muttering about Kuno and the frenzied spatula wielder that had shown up on the news, she assumed it was also Genma's fault and went to bed.
Genma was sleeping in an alley. He had blown away all of his (Soun's) money and had nowhere to go. He supposed he'd work in a sideshow for awhile as the world's smartest panda while he set about finding a new dragonoid to slaughter. It started to rain. Ah well.
Really long AN 8/20/03: (but, then, the story was 5-6 pages longer than usual)
I'm starting to get the impression that Akane is not the best judge of character. Maybe I should write her as the next sailor? Nah, she's got a SPECIAL (evil laugh) role in all of this mess. As for Ranma's next friend? The meeting'll have to take place at school, and I had Ranma follow Kuno all day, so... no it isn't Haruko. I thought of transforming Haruko into Ukyo completely, but this would just make my original plans more screwed up. All sense of order will be lost from here on. At least in relation to the official continuities that I ripped bits of. By the way, yes I had seen all of FLCL prior to deciding Ukyo's fate. From the first moment that the idea occurred to me to merge them, I had a rough idea of how far I'd follow the series. Granted, I hadn't originally planned for a Canti standin, but I was already wondering which character would be Ukyo's Naota. At first it was Ranma, but Ryoga happened to be the first one I saw.
I have no idea how to fit Ryoga into episode 4 and I have no clue how to put eps. 5 and 6 into the Ranma world. I had only thought to use the first two episodes originally, so there is no Medical Mechanica. Galactic Police? Maybe. Speaking of which, guess whose voice was emanating from the speakers on the ships awhile back? Hint: another crossover. Don't tell if you figured it out. I had meant to put her in as a Meryl for Ryoga, but I may use that one girl with the pig instead. Eh, who knows?
As for Kuno, I did to him what I did for laughs, nothing more. I'd think losing his pen would be very Kuno-like. There'll be five sailors (hopefully I won't put anymore in), but I will repeat: There will be NO Sailor Moon crossovers. With the possible exception of one character, if you would link it specifically to Sailor Moon and not to every Magical Girl anime/manga. I will no more put Sailor Moon stuff in than I will DBZ.
I am not meaning to put down either of these, but I have DBZ'd my eyes out and there are many Sailor Moon fics out there that would be much better than what'll happen here. (I really don't have the right attitude for battle teams right now.) Also, I have more fun poking fun at magical girls than I do at making them the primary focus.
Speaking of focus, Shampoo will come back into the picture eventually. She'll probably be cursed. Why not? The surprise will not be what you might think. (very very subtle hints) It's been in the works for awhile. Maybe it'll be Chapter 10 or 11?
I'd love to tell you more (aka hear myself talk), but this rantingly long note needs to end. Oh yeah, and anything that sounds stupid in Japanese comes from my not double checking words, as I have almost zero literacy in Japanese.
Next time: The final sailor? Haruko kills Ranma? Ranma kills Soun? Soun shows up at all? Something happens with Akane? Nabiki does something? Gosunkugi gets a Jusenkyo curse? (He gets splashed, like, thirty times a day...) Who really knows?
AN: I decided that I like giving general titles to my chapters, so I'm gonna do that now.
The Inner Demon Chapter 9: Haruko is Sad
Ryoga was not afraid of much. Toss him in a pit of snakes and he would laugh. He was, however, afraid of Ranma. The Demon. He was kept up for weeks on end, able only to think of Ranma and what their next horrible meeting would be like. It made this situation ironic. He had resolved to kill the source of his fear. The thing that made him weak. He did not want to hurt anyone, but somehow this had always happened. Now there was Haruko. He wasn't sure how he felt about her. Sure, she was much like Ranma. But she was different. Maybe things would finally be resolved. Maybe things would get worse. One thing was for sure: Ryoga the Stampede, the Humanoid Earthquake, would not run any more.
Part 1: The Stampede
Ryoga had a normal life. He went to school, he made the grade, he excelled in science (inherited trait from his father) even though his language skills and his actions made him sound like a doofus. Also, no one messed with him. He could crush a cinder block in one hand. He was six. Then there was Ranma.
It was customary for the students to pay tribute to him. He was no bully, mind you. He was an anti-bully. Anyone that bullied the student body had to go through him. For some reason, he was treated to the best of the cafeteria's breads, at the expense of his fellows. He told them not to go through the trouble, but, hey, they liked the way he stopped Lan-Tsu, an exchange student, from pushing the fifth graders around. The poor boy didn't know what he had been asking for.
Ranma was the new threat, though. Ryoga's protege, Zell Dincht, was to recieve the tribute in place of Ryoga on one of his few sick days. This didn't happen the second day of Ranma's arrival. By that day, Ranma had taken over the bread trade. Not through intimidation , not at first, but through his inhuman speed. He was easily as fast as Ryoga was strong. Zell tried to stand up for Ryoga in his absence.
Ryoga found Zell in front of his house the next morning. Zell was rushed to the hospital. A note to Ryoga was stapled to Zell's right hand. It read, "I'm takin' over -Ranma Saotome, Kamaitachi."
Ryoga felt such rage and sadness as he could not describe. He went to school to take on this evil monster. He managed to convince the students to take a stand. They managed to take most of the bread. Ranma was unhappy at this. It came to blows. Most of the students were badly injured by a demonic child with glowing blue eyes. This demon was confronted by Ryoga, who was angry beyond his ability to control. He managed to score only one blow on Ranma (who had hit him many times), but this one attack was so vicious that Ranma flew against a wall.
"You hit me!" Ranma's eyes were as wide as saucers, "Tell me you didn't just hit me! OH GOD! WHY!?"
"You are very bad!" Ryoga limped towards Ranma.
"We aren't like them!" Ranma teared, no longer demonic, "We are better! I'll show you!" Ranma then floated into the air and a blue aura flared about him.
Just then, a man in a white gi and glasses flew in and subdued Ranma. He put Ranma in an inescapable hold. Ryoga limped towards the man. This man was in many photographs at the Hibiki home. Who was he?
The look the man gave Ryoga just then seemed to say, "I'm sorry that you had to know this."
The next day, Ryoga had wandered into a place he did not recognize. It was an empty lot. It was quickly getting dark. What a time to have his curse take hold! Then he heard an unearthly growling. He turned quickly, just in time to see the monster of yesterday, only a thousand times worse.
"i will unLock YouR trUe power."
Ryoga was seized with horrendous pain. He felt so many negative emotions. Time seem distorted in his agony and in the maelstrom of negativity. Just when he felt that he was going to give in, he felt a strong desire to prove that he was different from the beast. It was even more painful. He was not sure how long he had been there. "WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME!?" He thought he had screamed. He awoke three days later in a hospital. His father than explained that he was the cousin of the monster. They were blood relatives. This was too much.
How many years later was it when they met again? This was a good meeting, though. Probably the only.
"I have control over the monster now."
"What?"
"Put down your fists. I apologize. Now I channel its power for the good of all."
"That's impossible."
"I'm sorry you feel that way. I feel bad about what I did to you under its influence. You and me are like brothers. We gotta stick together."
"Hmm."
"Look, I promise that I'll never hurt anyone again."
They travelled together for a few days. Then Ranma disappeared mysteriously. Some time later, he had learned of an incident involving a child that had injured many people while acting like a cat. That sounded like Ranma's M.O. Ryoga had resolved to learn the truth. A few years later, he met Ranma again in Hokkaido. This was an accident, as Ryoga had been picked up by his grandfather as he had wandered the streets. Ryoga's grandfather had the key answers as to the relationship between Ranma and Ryoga. He never had the chance to tell Ryoga, though. While Ryoga slept, Ranma snuck in and killed the one man that had agreed to tell Ryoga the truth. Ryoga awoke that morning to the smell of blood. It was everywhere. Ryoga felt sick. He ran to his grandfather's study and found a grinning Ranma waiting for him.
"Oops, I guess I broke my promise," Ranma laughed.
"Arrgh! Die!" Ryoga assumed a fighting stance.
"What? Are you going to try to hit me?" Ranma snickered and snapped his fingers, "I don't think so."
A red aura flared around Ryoga. That was a day that would live in infamy. A chunk of urban land in Hokkaido was destroyed. No one died directly, but many were killed in the ensuing week of anarchy. Ryoga ran. He just wanted away.
He ran into so many towns and cities, frequently running into Ranma, who beat and tortured him in secret. This often culminated in the destruction of villages or chunks of cities. Years passed before the most recent incident before the present.
Ranma and Genma had camped outside Jusenkyo prior to their trek to Joketsuko. Ryoga had caught Ranma collecting and catalouging the spring water. Needless to say, Ryoga was captured and used as a test subject. It was the worst night of his life since the Hokkaido incident. Morning came and Ryoga was left as a piglet.
It had been an arduous trek back to Japan. He had long ago taken to staying up ten days before sleeping. This led to hallucinations. Maybe he had hurt people or destroyed homes during this? He didn't know. He found himself in Nerima, eventually. Ranma was playing dumb. This was the most humiliating confrontation, even if not the most painful. The cement mixer notwithstanding.
Now there was Haruko and Kashin. With Kashin, he could use more of his power without losing control. At least, that's what he had thought. After the last battle, though...
[AN 8/18/03: Ok, Part 1 was not funny at all. Exposition like this shouldn't be. If we joke about Ryoga's past from his own view, then it WOULD seem like cowardice. As for how truthful this is, well, Ryoga thinks its how things happened. Maybe Ranma has his own (twisted) view, but this is whatcha get for now. By the way, I am not gonna start posting notes at the end of each part again. I'm sure this ruins the fun.]
Part 2: Kuno's Dilemma
Kuno had a problem. Or, rather, Kuno-chan had a problem. She could not dispell this illusion. Normally, she could ignore it, but the prolonged absence of certain parts made life very complicated for her. For some reason, her feelings towards Akane felt very different, as did her feelings towards Kama-chan while in this state. If the duration was short, this could be overlooked. But the way Kuno-chan was looked at while in that Sailor uniform was too much. She couldn't find a zipper or anything. Thank the gods that the lower undergarments were removable. This damnable spell must be removed.
"Aren't you going to fight!?" Akane shouted at the daydreaming Kuno-chan at the school entrance. Kuno-chan was the only morning challenger these days. She was also always wearing that stupid sailor suit. For the past two days since Ranma's kidnapping, Kuno-chan was in cursed form and in that revealing Sailor suit. Perhaps she had become a different kind of pervert?
"Ah! Yes, my beloved!" Kuno-chan looked at Akane with a glazed look. She didn't even enter a fighting stance, though.
"Well!?" Akane was flustered at the thought that Kuno-chan thought AKANE was going to attack first.
"Oh, yes," Kuno-chan snapped to attention again, "Mayhaps today's battle shall be called?"
"What?" Akane felt a little dizzy.
"I have problems that concern me to the point that I can not bring myself to other concerns at this time," Kuno-chan explained as she left campus.
Akane glazed out for a moment. Sayuri and Yuka ran up to her sides.
"Do you think something's wrong?" Yuka whispered.
"Maybe he's broken?" Sayuri speculated.
"From getting beat up?" Yuka wondered.
"Who cares? The pervert can do whatever he wants!" Akane stomped angrily.
Kuno-chan was not sure where to turn. She knew hot water no longer removed the illusion. She much dreaded her sister's lab. Although 100% sure that Kodachi's genius could fix anything, she was also acutely aware that she could break anything. He had tried using scissors to remove the uniform. It was too tough. Then it occurred to him. This had started with the magic he had been given!
Today, Kodachi had been approached by a strange man. The bespectacled man gave her a black pen and told her that if Kama-chan or Ranma Saotome ever acted aggressively towards her, that she should raise the pen into the air and shout the first word that came to mind. How strange. She kept it just in case. It had a magical feel to it.
She would analyze it later. Surely it's powers could be harnessed. Then the Greatest Scientific Genius ever to enter Martial Arts Gymnastics would be supreme! Which meant what, she could not say. She was positive that it was a good thing.
Kuno-chan was positive this was not a good thing. The business had been closed up until further notice. Where could Kuno-chan find her answers?
St. Hebreke was at Kodachi's command to the same extent as Nabiki had once had at Furinkan. She had the power of Akane and the shrewdness of Nabiki, but without that puke inducing stuff that Kasumi radiated. As to how Kodachi knew all of these details about the Tendos, well, she was well connected.
Kuno-chan was not well connected. Anyone she told her title to (in the hopes of gaining the precious information on this damnable illusion) would simply laugh and say something to the effect that that was ridiculous. Then there was Ranma. He followed her just out of sight and sound. Somehow, inexplicably, she knew where he was. Sure, she had brushed by Kama-chan once or twice, and tried to persuade the girl to aid her, but that failed with massive uppercuts. What a fist Kama-chan had!
Kodachi had picked up an interesting tidbit when asking for the name "Ranma Saotome." She had not believed that this could be the same as the dreaded Kamaitachi, but from the whispers (HIS name was whispered EVEN at St. Hebreke) she gathered that some menace was using the demon's name to control Furinkan. Her lout of a sibling probably didn't have a clue. If Tatewaki was permanently cursed, perhaps it would be safer to enroll one Tatewako Kuno in St. Hebreke. No doubt was in Kodachi's keen mind that Dear Brother knew of the Kamaitachi's existance first hand. Never before had Kuno missed two consecutive days of school (in order to preserve his "honor") unless by injury or illness (usually Kodachi's own doing).
Kuno-chan felt badly of wandering about town like an honorless derelict. Perhaps it was the blasted curse that had- NO! Kuno-chan refused to believe such sorcery possible! Unless... unless the gods were angered.
Passersby noted an odd teenage girl in a red sailor costume was on her knees, screaming about redemption. It was best to leave the crazies from Nerima alone.
Perhaps it was insanity. Kodachi felt quite lucid, anyway. But, of course, if the insane recognized their insanity, then they would be capable of rational thought, proving them sane. Of course, the insane had to prove insanity by rational means in order to justify it's existance. That was the way Kodachi saw things. It was logical to her, so it must be true, unless, of course, Kodachi were insane. Then it's irrationality would be proven by it's own rationality. Of course, if it were irrational, then it could not be proven so by its own logic, which would be incorrect.
She realized that she could go on like this for days, so she thought to the point. What was the point again? This was the reason why they all thought Kodachi was inferior. She would show them, she would show them ALL!
Kodachi's fourth period classmates ignored her usual midclass laughter, "Hohohohohohoho!"
Kuno-chan was deep in the dumps. Noooo doubt about it. Deep in the dumps. Having realized that no priest of any religion or any government would sanction a marriage between one who appeared to be a Sailor Girl with one who showed tough love with mallets or one who showed tough love with uppercuts save possibly California. But it was still out of the question, even so. Besides the expense (which the Family Kuno could easily bear) there would be the consummation. Kuno-chan shuddered at this thought. She hated this damnable illusion. Or curse. Just to be safe, she would sacrifice virgins at the Altar of Happiness (spelling correct) in China. First she would have to... no, no, NO! That would never work.
Kodachi thought of ways of capturing this "Kamaitachi." Nothing was invulnerable. Everything had a weakness to contain its own power by. Perhaps Kama-chan knew something of this?
Kuno-chan was wallowing in self pity. She was in the boy's bathroom. Ignorant of the stares she got as she entered a stall.
There had to be a way to make right what had gone wrong. Perhaps the "Kamaitachi" had the answers. The only way to get to the Kamaitachi, though, was to get to Kama-chan. Kuno-chan burst out of the stall and ran out of the bathroom and into the cafeteria (lunch was winding down). She shouted, "Kama-chan! I await you so that I may have a word with you!"
"Poor Kuno!" Sayuri whispered to Akane and Yuka, "And he used to be soooo cute."
"That new girl is so melodramatic, what is WITH her?" Yuka started.
"That new girl is Kuno, Yuka," Akane stated flatly.
"Oh! She must be Kodachi Kuno!" Yuka realized.
"Uh, no. That's Tatewaki," Sayuri clarified.
"Really!?" Yuka reddened. She usually was aware of these things better than Sayuri.
"Yep," Akane agreed. The resemblance was noticable at second thought (this thought paled Akane a bit).
Kuno-chan was taller than Kodachi by an inch or two and had short hair. Also there was the lack of Kodachi's charm. Although Kuno had an air of nobility, this felt more like fancy garnish than Kodachi's own air.
Mayhaps the lady Kama-chan did not wish to speak with her for the one incident the other day. The Monday incident. Thursday was here and yet she still wished to speak not with him?
"Hey, you wanna be Ranma's chick?" a boy sat beside Kuno-chan. A very red Kuno-chan. A very red Kuno-chan that Daisuke didn't recognize. Daisuke took the redness as a blush that signified gratefullness for the opportunity, "So I take it that you are honored to be the Lady of Furinkan High?"
"What is your name?" Kuno-chan mustered with controlled anger.
"Uh, Daisuke, Ranma's right hand man," Daisuke smiled his most charming smile.
"And how do I contact this Ranma?" Kuno-chan tried not to crack her teeth.
"Hey, I can't say when, but I here he hangs around the Tendos," Daisuke smiled. If this hottie wasn't for Ranma, then maybe...
Daisuke's thoughts were interrupted as he was batted into lower orbit by Kuno-chan's bokken, "Chauvanist!"
Akane was getting that dazed feeling again.
Kodachi felt dazed. Perhaps it was the shock of having a boy in St. Hebreke, or the fact that the boy was halfway imbedded into the turf in front of her.
"Heh!" Daisuke managed, "I.. l-landed on m-my feet." He was waist deep in earth.
Kuno-chan was waiting in front of the Tendo residence. If she waited long enough, Kama-chan, Akane Tendo, Nabiki Tendo, or Ranma Saotome would find her or his way in or out of the household.
The factor she had not expected walked right into her. Kasumi Tendo, long absent and now found. Her grey sailor suit was dirty and stained, but she appeared happy. The blood stains made Kuno-chan a little nervous, however, "Oh! Hello Tatewaki-kun!"
"You can tell?" Kuno-chan felt the dazed feeling that Akane had felt.
"Of course, don't be silly!" Kasumi giggled.
"Sweet victory it is for the name of Kuno!" Kuno-chan laughed.
Kasumi then removed a grey pen from one of her boots. She clicked a button and her stained sailor suit vanished, leaving her in a plain dress sans stains, "Why are you in Sailor Patrol mode, Kuno-kun?"
It dawned on Kuno. The pen! That was the cause and the cure! But... where was it?
Haruko had found a new toy. She loved to toss and catch it. It was strangely aerodynamic. It looked like a pen, but it was so obviously magical that she didn't even need her indicator to know so. She loved tossing it up and catching it. Up, down, up, down. Why would someone throw this away?
"What're YOU doing!?" Ryoga stomped next to her, startling her. She dropped it the five stories down the building and into the storm drain in the street.
"oopsie!" Haruko chuckled faintly.
"Let's get going," Ryoga gestured towards the Vespa, which was balanced on the edge of the building. Kashin shook his television head.
Part 3: Haruko meets Ranma!
By insane coincidence, just when Ryoga was ready to give up all hope of finding the monster, he sprouted cat ears. Then they ran into Ranma and Kodachi. More appropriately, though, they ploughed into Ranma-chan and Kodachi.
Everyone was floored. Kodachi was the first up, glancing around for injuries. Kama-chan was nowhere to be seen. Then she saw something peculiar. Some boy was unconscious and against a wall. He wore a red* bandanna, a yellow shirt, and black pants. And he had cat ears on the top of his head. She couldn't resist. She ran up to him and felt the ears. She then pulled one taut and produced a pair of shears. That's when a grey robot with a TV for a head interposed itself between them. It assumed a combat stance.
*Ryoga wears this in remembrance of the deaths he has realized that he caused.
"Ohohohohohoho!" Kodachi laughed, producing her ribbon, "You know not what you face! I am Kodachi Kunoichi Kuno! The Black Rose of Grief!"
Kashin was unfazed. He blasted forwards with a punch. Kodachi evaded this with a laugh and landed half a dozen ribbon strikes to him. She then whacked him over the head with a brick. He stumbled a bit.
She pushed forward, punching and kicking rapidly (she concealed this with a cleverly timed ribbon). This left dents in Kashin, who was beginning to malfunction. Its logic processors stated that this was not happening.
Suddenly, Kodachi's eyes grew to the size of saucers.
Ranma-chan awakened on the roof of a building. She had turned around in time to see a robot standing over a hunched, wide eyed Kodachi on the street. Though she could not see the robot's front, she was certain that it was preparing a death laser of some sort.
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No
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"Ha! I see that she touched Ryokun after all."
"Who!?" Ranma-chan turned around to see a taller girl with long, light red hair. She wore a red jacket, black pants, white boots, and yellow gloves. There was a large spatula on her back. It was like looking into a bizaare funhouse mirror.
"I'm goin' by Haruko nowadays," The girl smiled.
"You... you can't be!" Ranma-chan had been truly surprised for the first time ever.
"Yep, Rankun, honey," Haruko's voice changed somewhat, "It's me, Ukyo Kuonji."
"Uk..yo?"
"Whatever, Konatsu, I do not care whether Ukyo's on the loose again or not," Genma said to a very masculine looking ninja. This was the boy that Genma had taught for a few years while needing an assistant to control his own drinking during the time that Ranma tried to escape daily.
"It is my duty to see that lady Ukyo does not harm herself," Konatsu said as his oversized eyebrows waggled.
"I believe that if she wanted you to follow her around, she would have taken you with her," Genma sighed as he lost his third game of Poker. Konatsu was a jinx.
"But... you're a guy!" Ranma-chan felt strange about this situation.
"Do I feel like one?" Ukyo rubbed closely to Ranma-chan. No doubt about it. This was a girl.
"B-b-b-b-but?" Ranma-chan felt very nervous. Ukyo Kuonji was the guy that had accidentally turned his own hair red when they found the Master's book of magic.
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flay the imposter
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"C'mon! I've been searching for years!" Ukyo was making Ranma-chan uncomfortable.
"But," Ranma-chan remembered the Ukyo that she had sparred with all those years ago.
Ukyo seemed to catch the fact that Ranma-chan was uncomfortable by this point. She backed away and watched the pigtailed girl drop to her knees. Ukyo then offered Ranma-chan the thing that had brought them together, their favorite food, "Here's some of my spicy curry flavored okonomiyaki. Is this not proof that I am Ukyo?"
"You aren't MY Ukyo!" Ranma-chan slapped the okonomiyaki away.
"But I'm the way you wanted me to be!" Ukyo teared up.
A memory came unbidden to Ranma. One of him telling her to be more confident and to be as spontaneous as possible and that that was his own philosophy.
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What is this?
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"I'm sorry, Ukyo," Ranma-chan stood and found resolve, "but there can only be one of me."
Cat ears had appeared on Kodachi's head as she began to feel incredibly nauseous. She had been thrashing about while the robot just watched, as if it had no idea what was happening.
"It's her, isn't it!?" Ukyo looked down at Kodachi as her irises turned yellow. The tranformation to whatever creature that Ranma was was complete. Haruko dominated Ukyo now, "That can be fixed!"
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Brown... down,down,down... into the yellow hell. That's where you must go!
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A huge creature erupted from Kodachi's head. There was a mouth-like orifice at the top of a huge reddish sack, supported by three spider-like legs. Kodachi was still attached underneath. Kashin launched forward with a dive kick, which the beast deflected. Kashin got up and turned towards Ryoga, who was now standing, a look of horror on his face. "No more killing," He told Kashin as he found his resolve. The robot nodded in wholehearted agreement. As if it felt what he did.
He was absorbed.
"Die!" Haruko laughed insanely.
"No," a deep, resonating voice demanded behind her. A glowing blue-eyed Ranma-chan floated above, energy crackling about him.
"If this's the way its gotta be!" Haruko readied her spatula and flew at Ranma, a yellow intensity about her.
Kashin turned red, but, for the first time, sported a red bandanna. He blasted forward and assailed his opponent with punches and kicks. These ranged from simple, direct ground based attacks to spinning, sideways aerial attacks. The monster responded by using Kodachi as both a shield and a weapon. Kashin refused to harm her. He backed away from each attack. He briefly considered using the cannon, but realized that this would undoubtably kill the girl.
Haruko swiped with her spatula in midair. This missed, but as soon as Ranma-chan landed on the edge, she flipped the spatula around and began to fire spicy okonomiyaki at her. Ranma-chan dodged these easily and blasted forward.
Spicy okonomiyaki fell from the sky. Kashin began to leap and swat the stuff towards the beast to distract it. One accidentally landed in the thing's mouth. Ryoga knew what would happen from experience. The thing spit Kodachi at Kashin, who caught her. It sputtered a bit and deflated. Kashin then jumped and dived right into the creature with an attack that looked like a super refined Futai no Wami. A chunk of the thing exploded.
Haruko managed a hair thin dodge as Ranma-chan closed in. She whipped around and managed to lay a glancing blow against Ranma-chan. The pigtailed demon instantly twirled around. She found herself suddenly covered with warm goo.
"If I gotta kill ya, I wanna kill the real you," Haruko shouted, tears spontaneously rolling down her cheeks, despite her wide grin.
Ranma was in normal form. His old friend made a BAD mistake. An unearthly growl seemed to resonate from his chest as his mouth appeared to be in the motions of a laugh. If Haruko had had any sanity left, she would have wet herself.
The monster began assaulting Kashin violently. Kashin took it standing. Only the gashes made by Kodachi remained. He then began to back down the street. The thing followed him, gashing and slashing wildly.
What it didn't realize was that it was being maneuvered away from Kodachi and into an angle that made it unlikely at most that she would be hurt. The symbols for "Kakenzan" flashed on Kashin's screen.
Ranma's flash of deep blue, almost black, energy aura burned away the substance. He looked like a devil right out of a fairy tale.
Haruko was unperturbed. She looked quite feral as well. She was grinning madly, despite the near constant tears from her eyes. Her teeth looked almost like fangs and her eyes were like those of a cat. She was like the Cheshire Cat.
Ranma seemed to hesitate at this observation, but only for a moment, before he blasted forward.
It had appeared that the red blade that had formed from Kashin's palm had made one horizontal stroke into the monster. It fell into five pieces. Kashin dispersed the energy and approached the awakened, and quite startled, Kodachi Kuno.
"No," Kodachi appeared to be panicked, "It's... Heaven's God of Fire! Lord Katenshinou!"
The word "No" flashed on Kashin's screen, followed by "Kashin."
"Lord Kashin!" Kodachi felt faint. She resolved to hold still, though. She approached the robot cautiously. She felt the gouges she had given it earlier, "What have I done?" She then quickly attached a small device in one of the gouges, incapacitating Kashin instantly, "That clearly was not the right way to enslave a god!"
[AN: I would never force Mamimi to merge with Kodachi. My cruelty has its limits.]
Ranma was repeatedly, and rapidly, beating Haruko. That was apparent. What was not apparent was how she withstood each blow to return one of her own. Finally, Ranma spin kicked her over the edge of the building. He approached the edge and looked over. It was clear that she had not hit bottom.
Haruko had flown across the way and found herself in an office building. People scattered as she landed on a desktop computer. She rose, bruised, bloody, but unbowed and cackling like a madwoman. She suddenly felt a strange aura. Her magic indicator was clanking like it was as crazy as she.
"Haruko Haruhara," A voice spoke in her mind, "Ukyo Kuonji."
"Er?" She looked around, but saw only frightened office workers.
"I am not physically present," the voice continued, "But there is a gift for you in the dumpster in the alley past the watercooler."
Haruko looked around, spotting a watercooler to the left of a blue bathroom door. To the left of the cooler was an open window, "Ha!" She hopped from cubicle to cubicle, dodging mortified workers. Then she leapt out of the building and flipped onto her Vespa, which was waiting for her at the bottom. She was at one end of an alleyway. Ranma had become present at the other end.
He smiled victoriously. This was, coincidentally, the same alley that he had fought Shampoo and Ryoga in. He recognized the "new back entrance" to the building Ryoga had burst from with his new technique. How intriguing.
Haruko then dashed at Ranma, who prepared to strike a killing ki punch. Then she jumped into a blue dumpster to her left. At first Ranma laughed. Then he realized that there shouldn't be a dumpster in this alley. A flash of light and the feeling of a great power nearby confirmed his thoughts. Haruko leapt out of the dumpster in a yellow sailor suit.
"Damn!" Ranma stumbled, "Well, I think I've had enough of this."
"Not so fast!" Haruko withdrew a bladed spatula. It was like her normal one, except that it was, oddly, blue.
"You are a yellow sailor, with a blue and white spatula for a weapon?" Ranma asked, sincerely.
"I guess so," Haruko blinked, "Wierd, huh?"
"Kinda," Ranma nodded.
"You like?" Haruko smiled.
"It's kinda neat, I guess," Ranma conceded.
"Wanna hold it?" Haruko offered.
"Boy, would I!" Ranma ran up and snatched the spatula, taking a few practice swings and examining it's shape and texture. Then he handed it back, "That is one sweet maiming instrument!"
"God, but I gotta wear these dud duds," Haruko gestured to the offensively bright yellow sailor suit.
"Ha!" Ranma chuckled good naturedly.
"I get ta keep my gloves and my bracelet, though,"
Haruko smiled.
"Yeah, you got good taste," Ranma nodded sagely.
"Yeah, you too," Haruko chuckled in return.
"Hey! Wanna kill each other now?" Ranma asked excitedly.
"Ooooh yeeeah!" Haruko raised her 'sweet maiming instrument' and began laughing again. Ranma jumped back a few yards and glowed darkly again. Just then, Kodachi wandered into the alley, lugging an inoperative Kashin behind. She was completely unaware of what was happening around her. Then she looked up at the glowing Ranma Saotome.
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Boo.
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Kodachi sceamed, "Kamaitachi!!!" What was strange was that she was laughing joyously, "Hohohohoho!" She then produced a black pen and shouted, "Vengeance!" There was a flash of light and Kodachi was suddenly in a black leotard that, aside from the lack of a skirt and the complete absence of sleeves, was almost identical to a sailor costume, "I asked for custom alterations, just so that I could preserve the name of Kuno in styyyyle!"
"Wait," Haruko's eyes gimped and one twitched, "You got a CUSTOM outfit!?"
"Is that not obvious, peon?" Kodachi turned up her nose on the inferior sailor.
Ranma took this opportunity to umisenkan his way out of the area.
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I hate cats more than being wet.
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"Didja just say ya were gonna..." Haruko had a throbbing vein in her head.
"Hoho," Kodachi laughed into one hand, "What an unsophisticated form of self denigration!"
"I don't rightly know whatcha just said, but I'm gonna make you real dead!" Haruko screamed and charged forward. The 8 o' clock news was gonna have a field day with this one.
Part 4: Musings
Haruko had handily defeated Kodachi after ONLY nine hours of fighting. The stupid fool ACTUALLY believed that the fifth truce and late dinner break was for REAL! It was real rich! Hah hah! Haruko was at a loss as to where Kashin and Ryoga were, but figured that they'd be at the center of tomorrow's mecha battle.
Yep, it'll be something wild. Maybe she give life to the image of a gunslinging hand or a carnivorous cell phone eater, or maybe... ah, screw it, she'd just pick sumpthin at random, like always. That TV-kun thing was pretty neat-o. Maybe she could get another one for herself.
It'd be like that damn pen. It had taken her twenty minutes to figure out all of its functions. Boy, would Ranma be sorry when...
Ranma.
What about Ranma?
It was clear that Ranma had never felt for Ukyo what she had felt for him. But... maybe she could have a second chance as Haruko?
..
..
..
Naah.
She had to go through with killing him.
He saw nothing but Ukyo in her. And not the Ukyo she had wanted to be.
His death was the only thing that could fill the void of honor. Her irises flashed brown for an instant and she broke down, sobbing.
Ryoga was unhappy. He had lost Kashin at some point. He remembered being crapped out. Then he saw Haruko beating on the previous girl, except that this girl was in a black leotard with sailor trimmings. And she fought back well. He had blacked out when he was hit in the head by flying debris. Fifteen times. When he awoke, Kashin was gone and the area was in rubble. Damn machines always walking away. Now he had to find Haru... oh damn! He suddenly found himself inside a classroom in some school in Nerima. Ah, he might as well sleep. Haruko would not let Ranma leave alive.
Ranma had good day. No Genma, lots of fighting, Kuno trapped in cursed form, more fighting... and now he had a rival! Joy. He had more that reached his quota for destruction.
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Let's celebrate by popping off Soun Tendo's head. Like a barbie doll's!
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Ranma shook the notion from his head. Nah, he'd just sleep and see what his underlings had done for him in his absence.
"Uh, Ranma?" Akane entered the dojo. Ranma had bound his own ankles and was swinging himself against a cinder block wall that he had constructed somehow.
"Yes, Akane?" Ranma laughed knowingly.
"What are you doing?" She had a not of concern in her voice.
"Trainin'?" Ranma seemed surprised by this question, as though he thought the reason should be obvious.
"Ah," Akane exited without even breaking a single brick. Poor Ranma, he ACTUALLY thought that that was training. Genma would die for this. As to why Ranma was muttering about Kuno and the frenzied spatula wielder that had shown up on the news, she assumed it was also Genma's fault and went to bed.
Genma was sleeping in an alley. He had blown away all of his (Soun's) money and had nowhere to go. He supposed he'd work in a sideshow for awhile as the world's smartest panda while he set about finding a new dragonoid to slaughter. It started to rain. Ah well.
Really long AN 8/20/03: (but, then, the story was 5-6 pages longer than usual)
I'm starting to get the impression that Akane is not the best judge of character. Maybe I should write her as the next sailor? Nah, she's got a SPECIAL (evil laugh) role in all of this mess. As for Ranma's next friend? The meeting'll have to take place at school, and I had Ranma follow Kuno all day, so... no it isn't Haruko. I thought of transforming Haruko into Ukyo completely, but this would just make my original plans more screwed up. All sense of order will be lost from here on. At least in relation to the official continuities that I ripped bits of. By the way, yes I had seen all of FLCL prior to deciding Ukyo's fate. From the first moment that the idea occurred to me to merge them, I had a rough idea of how far I'd follow the series. Granted, I hadn't originally planned for a Canti standin, but I was already wondering which character would be Ukyo's Naota. At first it was Ranma, but Ryoga happened to be the first one I saw.
I have no idea how to fit Ryoga into episode 4 and I have no clue how to put eps. 5 and 6 into the Ranma world. I had only thought to use the first two episodes originally, so there is no Medical Mechanica. Galactic Police? Maybe. Speaking of which, guess whose voice was emanating from the speakers on the ships awhile back? Hint: another crossover. Don't tell if you figured it out. I had meant to put her in as a Meryl for Ryoga, but I may use that one girl with the pig instead. Eh, who knows?
As for Kuno, I did to him what I did for laughs, nothing more. I'd think losing his pen would be very Kuno-like. There'll be five sailors (hopefully I won't put anymore in), but I will repeat: There will be NO Sailor Moon crossovers. With the possible exception of one character, if you would link it specifically to Sailor Moon and not to every Magical Girl anime/manga. I will no more put Sailor Moon stuff in than I will DBZ.
I am not meaning to put down either of these, but I have DBZ'd my eyes out and there are many Sailor Moon fics out there that would be much better than what'll happen here. (I really don't have the right attitude for battle teams right now.) Also, I have more fun poking fun at magical girls than I do at making them the primary focus.
Speaking of focus, Shampoo will come back into the picture eventually. She'll probably be cursed. Why not? The surprise will not be what you might think. (very very subtle hints) It's been in the works for awhile. Maybe it'll be Chapter 10 or 11?
I'd love to tell you more (aka hear myself talk), but this rantingly long note needs to end. Oh yeah, and anything that sounds stupid in Japanese comes from my not double checking words, as I have almost zero literacy in Japanese.
Next time: The final sailor? Haruko kills Ranma? Ranma kills Soun? Soun shows up at all? Something happens with Akane? Nabiki does something? Gosunkugi gets a Jusenkyo curse? (He gets splashed, like, thirty times a day...) Who really knows?
