Disclaimer: As usual, most of this stuff comes directly
from anime, which, believe it or not, I had no hand in
writing or producing. What isn't taken from anime more
or less pops out of my head like a demented Canti. I
don't mean to infringe on anyone's rights, and I am
reasonably sure that NO ONE would WANT to copy any of
my ideas. I mean, maybe they'd do so under EXTREME
duress, but, y'know, that isn't bloody likely. Unless
they WANT friends to doubt their sanity.
The Inner Demon Chapter 10: Questions and Answers
Genma-panda decided it was time to go back to Nerima and get a job. That way, he would be closer to the "Sailor Scandal" as the newspapers had put it. The boy had probably done it in some way. Besides, being broke in the middle of any city was unpleasant.
Part 1: The Ninja and the Pig or Exposition Expo!
Ryoga had been wandering around, trying his damndest to either find Haruko or maybe Kashin. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't find them until he gave up, but did his best, regardless. He heard thunder in the background, "damn."
Before he got wet, a man stepped beside him and shielded them with an umbrella. Ryoga looked at the man carefully. It was difficult to guage age, but he looked to be in his thirties. He was in a business suit and had large eyebrows. His eyes were quite serious, "You don't happen to be Ryoga the Stampede?"
"What if I am?" Ryoga narrowed his eyes.
"Caused quite an uproar when the teachers at St. Hebreke found you," the man stated without looking at the boy.
"You aren't here to collect the reward, are you?" Ryoga looked off into the now pouring rain.
"Naah," the man remained serious, "I'm here to ask you about Ukyo Kuonji."
"Ukyo Kuonji?" The name was unfamiliar to Ryoga.
"Do you know what happened to her?" He continued to push.
"I have never heard of her," Ryoga looked at the man, now very suspicious. Ryoga wasn't the most educated, but he had a scientific mind. He saw a problem and played with the pieces until they fit. This man already knew the answers to his questions and probably more. Ryoga knew better than to let on, though.
The man focused his eyes on Ryoga without moving his head, " She disappeared some time ago. I believe that this has something to do with your friend, Haruko Haruhara."
" I don't know what you're getting at," Ryoga studied the man carefully.
"If you say so."
"I do say so."
"Haruko Haruhara is a risky aquaintance," the man began, "You could get entangled in something you can't handle."
"I'm the Humanoid Earthquake, remember?"
"And I'm Amaro Konatsu," the man handed Ryoga his umbrella.
"But I already have..."
"Take it, you might need an extra," and with that, Konatsu walked into the rain as though it weren't there. Ryoga sighed as the strange man faded into the distance.
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The rain won't stop. The god of rain is now on my list.
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Ranma-chan hated being wet. Quite a bit. Having to share an umbrella with Akane did not help at all. It wasn't so much the proximity to Akane as it was the neon pink umbrella. Nabiki had laughed when she sold it to Akane. (All of the other umbrellas in the house had mysteriously vanished.)
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Nabiki Tendo's days of power are numbered.
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What really cinched it was the inevitable confrontation with Kuno (or, more likely, Kuno-chan). Ranma-chan was surprised when Kuno was absent from his usual post, "I see the Blue Blunder is out again."
"I think he's too ashamed to show his face while he's stuck like that," Akane frowned. Nabiki had given that info as a freebie on the condition that Akane disseminate the news. Nabiki was usually able to do that herself. It seemed strange to Akane that Nabiki seemed to have fewer contacts these days. Some kind of paranoia had gripped the campus.
"Eh," Ranma-chan shrugged.
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Guess Nabiki expected Kuno to be here to meet the pink umbrella duo. Losing her touch.
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"heh heh," Ranma-chan spontaneously chuckled.
"What?" Akane looked Ranma in surprise. He/She had never laughed for no reason, sure she/he was cheerful, but...
"Just thinkin' about where Kuno must be," Ranma-chan explained.
Under Nerima, a gas mask sporting Kuno-chan looked through the sewer tunnels. That infernal pen must be here somewhere. Perhaps the red haired one with the oversized cooking instrument had lied? Perish the thought.
"I gotta do somethin' before class," Ranma-chan smiled, "see ya later." Ranma parted from Akane once they were inside. She made her way to the boy's bathroom. No one gave her a second look. Most had tasted her fists on more than one occasion. They were under the impression that "Kama-chan" was related in some way to the dread Kamaitachi, and so had as little to do with her as possible.
Ranma-chan approached a sink and filled a paper cup that seemed to just find its way into her hand with hot water. Then she left the bathroom for a janitor's closet, where she dumped its contents over her head.
Ranma then headed towards a secret location under the teacher's lounge (accessible by way of several secret tunnels in strategic places).
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Amazing what you can have done over the weekend.
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It was a cave like room that was about medium sized. There was a picture of Hiroshi's mother hung behind a desk. Ranma had never bothered asking his cronies why that was there. There were filing cabinets and several chairs, some next to the three small tables. Hiroshi was waiting beside the desk in a business like fashion, "The board awaits." He gestured towards a door off to the side. The two entered into a much larger room. The door automatically closed behind them (a secret switch would open it again). There were other entrances into this board room from almost every club meeting place on campus. A long table, as well as a watercooler, a television, and several bright, ornate lamps decorated the interior. This room looked like an actual business boardroom that had been taken out of a corporate headquarters.
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I need to get the specs on this place. Maybe there's a dungeon!!
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The table had many seats, most of them occupied. The heads of virtually every club and sports team were situated in there. About six teachers were present, as well as the vice principal.
Ranma took a seat at one end. He had a nameplate, as did all of the others. Each plate had a name and rank in the organization. To his left was a nameplate engraved, "Daisuke, Special Procurer, Recruiter, and Enforcer," to his right was a plate engraved, "Hiroshi, Chief Secretary and Espionage Advisor," There was a plate to Hiroshi's right that read, " Shin, Head of Student Activity." Ranma recognized Shin from his second day of school. He had been the coordinator of the boys' daily ritual before Kuno lost his bit of prestige. To the left of Daisuke's (empty) seat was a blank nameplate. It was the only one, "Who sits to Daisuke's left?"
"We are still interviewing at this time," Hiroshi nodded respectfully, "Without Daisuke's expertise in recruiting or his files, we have difficulty locking down the one he had planned as his aide."
"What of his files?" Ranma inquired.
"The current news on the subject is that his dog ate them, sir," Hiroshi explained.
"Very well," Ranma nodded in return, "Then let us make our first order of business to find a temporary fill in for his aide, who will act on Daisuke's behalf in his absence, whaddya say?" Ranma leaned forward at the end of his sentence, breaking his serious demeanor.
"Sir, we have a double agent from the Nabiki camp that has done work that yesterday's session concluded deserved recognition," Hiroshi flipped through papers on a clip board.
"What'd he do?" Ranma smirked as though the answer was obvious.
"He has channelled funds from the Nabiki camp and has also garnered information and contacts," Hiroshi flipped another page.
"Wa ha!" Ranma burst out. Everyone else laughed convincingly until he became serious again, "And so this guy's from your department?"
"He has been trustworthy?"
"Hikaru Gosunkugi has been nothing but."
Gosunkugi took another splash for Nabiki. He had tried to hex the Ice Queen of Furinkan last night. Unsuccessfully. Oh, but he WOULD have his revenge.
Nabiki had begun to wonder why Gosunkugi kept hammering those dolls into trees and why he had that lock of hair. It probably was harmless, but it sure was wierd.
" Any other old business?" Ranma asked.
" Well, the lunch ladies refused to drug the food," Ken, club leader of the brick breaker club, informed the group.
"Ah well, it was a minor scheme," Ranma shook his head sadly.
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Its the little things that really matter. Maybe I'll have to "persuade" them to our cause...
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"Any new business?" Ranma asked.
"Daisuke was injured yesterday," Hiroshi flipped another page, "Our St. Hebreke connection reports that he was waist deep in earth. We need to do something about hospital fees."
"It'll be taken care of," Ranma smiled.
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I never DID collect those IVs...
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" Ahem," Mrs. Kuni, English teacher, spoke up, "I have recieved word that Dread Principal Kouchou Kuno is returning from Hawaii today."
"I was not informed of this previously," Ranma shuffled reports from individual departments.
"The Principal is very unpredictable," the vice principal spoke, "He comes and goes when his interest is piqued."
"Can he be turned?"
"Doubtfully."
"Anything else I should know?"
"I've heard rumors that Hinako Ninomiya is in cahoots with him," Mrs. Kuni responded, a touch of fear apparent.
"Explain," Ranma commanded.
"Ms. Hinako is feared as being the toughest and strictest teacher around," the vice principal's voice trembled,
"She was recently in China on a teacher exchange, but it was called off because students were not afraid of the Chinese teacher in the way they were of Hinako. Chinese students whispered that she was a devil."
"Interesting," Ranma nodded, "It is first period. Your excuses have been prepared. I call this meeting adjourned. We will meet again for a special sunday meeting and again next Wednesday." Everyone filed out except for Ranma, Hiroshi, and Shin, "Hiroshi, Shin, arrange a Saturday after school* meeting between me and Hikaru Gosunkugi."
*I think that Japanese students work Monday-Saturday, correct me if I'm wrong.
"Yes, sir!" they replied in unison.
In a bar somewhere, Konatsu sat next to a blue haired woman similarly dressed in a suit.
"Commander?" she looked at him.
"Ryoga Hibiki is unaware of Ukyo "Haruko" Kuonji's intentions, I believe," Konatsu ordered a drink.
"How should we proceed?" the blue haired woman asked.
"We should just watch for the moment," Konatsu took a swig of his drink, "I'm sure Haruko has no intention of making any bold moves right now."
"Hmmm..." The woman didn't seem convinced.
Part 2: Where are Haruko, Genma, and Kuno?
Haruko awoke on a rooftop. She had fallen asleep watching the stars and thinking about Rankun. She had mixed feelings. On one hand there was the honor of her family and on the other, there was the way she had once felt for him. She then got a devious smile. Maybe death would be too good for him...
She hopped to her feet and started up the grill on her Vespa. Any onlooker would note that it never rained in a three meter radius from wherever she stood.
Genma-Panda didn't bother trying to hitchike. He ran through the rain and was making decent time, despite that he hadn't eaten yet. That Kasumi made a good meal.
Yeah, that's it, Haruko was makin' a truce meal for Rankun's lunch. Heh heh. He wouldn't see it coming. Not even the Kamaitachi would suspect Ukyo. Of course, that would mean wearing the old stuff.
All Kuno-chan wanted was to get her old self back. She'd been in the sewers for hours and had found nothing. She then spotted something.
Genma-Panda saw something in the distance. It appeared to be some kind of wreckage. There were men in suits everywhere around it. They warded people away. This, of course, meant that Genma-panda had to use the unisenken and sneak around...
She'd just have to sneak into Furinkan High and offer the Okonomiyaki to Rankun. Rankun had always liked her special spicy kind. This meant that she'd have to use some low profile route, because of her appearance on the news...
"At last!" Kuno-chan held the black ball point high and began clicking it. It seemed to be broken. Oh, wait! Was her pen red?
Genma-panda heard a clicking sound nearby. He paid no real heed. Even if he was detected, no one would suspect an invisible... "Hands up, Jusenkyo Panda!"
"Heads up, people!" Haruko flew down into the streets on her Vespa, cackling. She was heading right for the docks. A crowd watched her fly into the water. Or so they thought. The Vespa fell in, but Haruko was clinging under the docks.
Genma-panda clung to the wall, waiting for the armed man to get closer to him. When the moment was right, he sprung around and knocked the man unconscious, breaking the guy's infra-red goggles. So that's how they saw him.
Kuno-chan looked around. Surely she would see the damned pen eventually. Nothing could escape the desires of the Kuno family for long. She would just have to find her way to it.
She found her way to a sewer access tunnel. She then whistled. The Vespa emerged from the water and heated quickly, drying itself off. She gave her usual smile, mounting the moped and started her path.
Genma-panda followed a fairly linear path inside the wreckage to an operating computer terminal. It became clear what this wreckage was now. He turned and ran as fast as he could. He'd had enough adventure for one life. He'd keep to simple things like slaying ancient evils from now on.
From this point on, Kuno-chan would be able to resume her original form. She had red pen in hand and was one moment from pressing a hidden button, the one that Kasumi Tendo had pointed out, then she could leave this wretched illusion behi-
Haruko mowed her down from behind as she zipped through the sewers. She managed not to get HERSELF wet, but Kuno-chan was flattened and submerged under the nasty sewage. Haruko would be at Furinkan and in her old clothing in moments.
Genma-panda was out in moments and continued towards Nerima. He'd have to camp and eat soon, but he'd be there by nightfall.
Part 3: The Assembly and Ranma's Folly
An assembly was called by the newly arrived Principal Kuno. Ranma hurried to the auditorium in order to guage the new threat. He found a seat with a good view and plopped down. No one made any sudden moves. The podium was empty. The vice principal watched for Kouchou Kuno with great anxiety. He hoped that Principal Kuno had not gotten worse. The man had a tendency to improve on his terror factor after every vacation.
Akane sat with her friends. Ranma was apparently not in their class's seats. It seemed odd to her that no one seemed to care. They must have known about the abuse that Genma had put on Ranma. That old jerk.
"Do remember what Principal Kuno did after his vacation to China?" Sayuri asked, her voice quivering.
"He tried to set up a communistic regime in the school..." Yuka wrung her hands.
"And after getting back from Africa?" Sayuri felt ill.
"Tranquilizer guns..." Yuka shuddered at the memory.
"That was before all of this upheaval, though," Nabiki said, sitting beside Yuka.
"Nabiki," Akane felt some kind of con coming, "What are you doing in this section?"
"There's something really bad happening," Nabiki stated with grim seriousness, "My business is getting horned in on by some guy that calls himself the Kamaitachi."
Gosunkugi sat next to Nabiki, blushing fiercely in Akane's presence, "A-and he's g-got everyone w-worked up!"
"What?" Akane felt a chill run up and down her spine.
"say, akane, ?Do you know what a kamaitachi is?"
The words echoed in her mind from the day of Genma's arrival. The demon in her house! She had forgotten about it in all the chaos! It followed her to school.
"Uh, Akane?" Yuka tapped a zoned out Akane on the shoulder.
"I've got something to do," Akane stood with resolve. She left the auditorium for the one place that had her answers.
She missed the assembly, which opened with Kouchou Kuno rising to the podium via a trap door. He wore a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and he had a plastic palm tree on his head. He was deeply tanned, "I leave you keiki's alone fo two months and you goin' crazy wit all de blastins and bommins and punchins and fightins all aroun town! I left my vacation earlier den I want to, keikis. Now you gonna get de punishment. I replace thirteen worse classes wit Ms. Hinako Ninomiya!"
There was an uproar. The smiling principal grimaced and raised a silencing hand, "I be plannin' dis cayfully. I be clonin' Ms. Hinako to be de thirteen Hinakos." Suddenly, thirteen small children with happy expressions filed out from behind the once again smiling principal. This would have looked like a gag if all of the children weren't identical. They were all the same height, with the same clothes, and the same longish black hair, "Say sumpin, Hinakos!"
"We are gonna teach you..." they all said in unison before their faces warped into the same crazed expressions, "LESSONS FOR LIFE!"
"You gonna wish you hadn't made me come back, Keikis!" Principal Kuno laughed.
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Laughing fools die first.
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Ranma chuckled and flashed a glance at the vice principal. The older man nodded and whispered something in the Principal's ear.
"Who is Ranma Saotome!?" Principal Kuno demanded.
Ranma smiled and stood, raising his hand and waving it with mock enthusiasm.
"You going to be de example!" Kouchou snapped his fingers and one of the Hinakos pointed a coin at Ranma.
"Five yen satsu!" the child called out. Ranma seemed unaffected, but the Hinako's eyes opened wide and she dropped off of the stage.
The following uproar was silenced when the principal shouted, "Assembly dismissed! Go to eat lunch, keikis!" The assembly hall emptied. Ranma gave Kouchou his feral face before exiting with the crowd.
Haruko was in her old okonomiyaki chef outfit that she'd worn until taking the name "Haruko." It had slots for many weapons, but these were mostly empty. She looked much like a somewhat bishounen boy with her binder on. She'd forgotten what it had felt like. She waited in the commons until she saw Ranma, Hiroshi, and Shin sit at a table. Haruko ran up to the three and spoke, "Hey, I wanna say I'm sorry."
"Huh?" Ranma smirked as though he was following a script.
"I just want to offer you some okonomiyaki," Haruko smiled and presented a large tray of carefully prepared okonomiyaki, "Super spicy, just like you like them!"
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Must resist... ah, what the hell! Gimme!
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Ranma wolfed down half of them. He loved spicy food. Hiroshi stuck with the school lunch and Shin regretted taking his small nibble, belching up smoke. Ranma didn't even look red. He handily finished them all and belched, "That was great, Ukyo!" He then noticed something strange about Ukyo's smile. Wait... her eyes were still yellow.
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uh oh.
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"Hey, hey!" Haruko laughed, "I didn't do nothin' to 'em!" She then hopped onto her conveniently located Vespa and zoomed away.
"That was odd," Hiroshi commented.
"Yeah, no kiddin'," Ranma frowned.
"haa..he..elp! urk!" Shin started vomiting.
"Lightweight," Ranma patted his belly.
Akane was running down the street when she ran into Dr. Tofu, literally. He had been watching the canal water and basically relaxing until Akane showed up.
"I think we have a demon in our house, and it's taking over Nerima!" Akane panted as she stood.
"What makes you say that?" Tofu inwardly smirked.
Kuno had finally returned to normal. He decided to hole up at home while he got re-oriented with his body. He unwittingly found himself just outside Kodachi's lab. A light was flashing inside. Why was Sister home?
"Dear brother!" Kodachi's voice called out, "Do not tell me that you have become truant!"
Kuno walked into the lab, fearlessly, "I was removing the accursed sailor outfit!" He then noticed that Kodachi was experimenting on a wriggling grey-blue robot.
"It seems he won't turn red again under any stimulus," Kodachi muttered before turning to her brother. Her lab was a maze of machines, vats, tiles, lights, and tubes of all sizes with various colored water contained within, "Why have you come home so early if your goal is accomplished?"
"I reek of sewage and my accoutrements have been defiled. Twould be ignoble for me to set foot past the hallowed threshold of mine school, dear sister, for tis I that has-" Kuno spoke before Kodachi interrupted.
"Why do you smell of sewage, brother?"
"I have tramped throughout the sewers in search of the pen that curses and acts as panacea! Verily, for I would have quested hell for mine piece of mind!" Kuno rambled.
"You only have one piece left, so treasure it,"
Kodachi muttered.
"What?" Kuno's attention was grabbed.
"Shut up," was Kodachi's answer before she turned back to the robot, "by the way, father has returned."
Kuno fainted dead away.
Ryoga ditched the umbrella he'd been given when the rain ceased. He found himself in front of Furinkan again when Haruko zipped out like a bat out of hell, picking him up on the way and setting him down behind her.
"Where were you!?" Ryoga yelled at her.
"Where dya think?" Haruko laughed as she raced down the street. As per her standard, cars, trucks, pedestrians, etc. were tossed around like rag dolls from the surge of wind around her. Since this is a street in Tokyo, you can imagine what this is like.
"Why were you at Furinkan?" Ryoga calmed somewhat. He was happy to see her again, despite his initial reaction.
"Gettin' revenge!" Haruko giggled cutely, but with a somewhat sinister grin, "Let's find Kashin and prepare for our next move!" Her indicator show the direction Kashin was in.
A chill ran down Kodachi's back. The yellow sailor was coming. She knew why as she looked at Kashin. There was no way her latest toy would be taken back so easily. She unhooked it from her analysis device and led the staggering bot out the back. Suddenly, the robot snapped to alertness, "Oh no!" Kodachi hid herself to avoid another stalemate battle. Haruko's Vespa ramped up the roof of the Kuno estate and landed beside Kashin.
"Kashin, quick!" Ryoga shouted as Sailor Kodachi made a quick move in the hopes of overpowering a regular Haruko. Kashin, however, absorbed Ryoga and picked up the Vespa with Haruko on top and flew away at high speed.
"Rats!" Kodachi snapped her fingers. A ball of live rats fell from the sky and onto her, "Damn sailor powers."
Kashin evacuated Ryoga and returned to his grey color. It was obvious to Haruko and the lost boy that his injuries had been aggravated.
The blue haired girl looked though the scope of her rifle, "Lieutenant Kiyone here, the robot is within range, I think I can take him!"
"Desist from current course, sensors indicate that Haruko has some new kind of magic," Konatsu advised, "If you attack now, she may do something rash. Follow them until we can be certain of the nature of her powers." Konatsu deactivated his comm and sat back in his MIB van. The Galactic Police had assigned
Former Captain Kiyone to Earth's MIB branch under him. Well, not just her, but the blond was so incompetant that Konatsu left her to nap.
"This is all Mihoshi's fault," Kiyone gritted her teeth as she put away her rifle.
The rest of the day after lunch passed without incident, except for random, insane announcements. He sighed.
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Who knew that Nerima handled crazies so well. I think I'm gonna have my work cut out for me.
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When he got back to the Tendo's, he noticed that Akane was absent.
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I don't have time for fun now, anyway. I'm gonna skip training today, I don't think sailors will be a problem tonight.
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He ate dinner quickly and went upstairs to bed. Things had been tense between him and Kasumi, but Kasumi hadn't seemed to remember what had really happened. It was difficult to tell with her.
Anyway, he decided to just go to sleep. His last thought before drifting off was how strange it was that he had not been splashed since eating Ucchan's food.
In his sleep, his body shifted to Ranma-chan. She opened her eyes and grinned a strange grin. She rose and began fumbling around in her old gi in its hiding place. She chuckled when she found what she wanted. Her irises were yellow.
AN 8/23/03: End on a cliffhanger. There's not much to say, I guess. I don't plan on bringing Tenchi himself in, but there might be a Washuu of some sort, eventually. Also, I think I'm going to create somewhat of a Wolfwood-Vash relationship between Haruko and Ryoga. This would underly their semi-romantic partnership now. Of course, as you may expect, there are two Harukos out there now. It must be contagious. And no, Shin will not transform. Unless he had fallen in the pool of drowned girl, which I haven't had him do. I apologize for the lack of action and the lesser amount of comedy. I'll make up for it next time, I promise!
Next Time: Things get crazy again when Haruko2 and Shampoo show up to wreck everyone's party. Also, we learn what happened to Akane and we might meet the final scout (you won't expect this). That's just the beginning. Ranma WILL meet his second friend this time (no, Shin was not one of em). FLCL ep 4 may make an appearance as well.
The Inner Demon Chapter 10: Questions and Answers
Genma-panda decided it was time to go back to Nerima and get a job. That way, he would be closer to the "Sailor Scandal" as the newspapers had put it. The boy had probably done it in some way. Besides, being broke in the middle of any city was unpleasant.
Part 1: The Ninja and the Pig or Exposition Expo!
Ryoga had been wandering around, trying his damndest to either find Haruko or maybe Kashin. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't find them until he gave up, but did his best, regardless. He heard thunder in the background, "damn."
Before he got wet, a man stepped beside him and shielded them with an umbrella. Ryoga looked at the man carefully. It was difficult to guage age, but he looked to be in his thirties. He was in a business suit and had large eyebrows. His eyes were quite serious, "You don't happen to be Ryoga the Stampede?"
"What if I am?" Ryoga narrowed his eyes.
"Caused quite an uproar when the teachers at St. Hebreke found you," the man stated without looking at the boy.
"You aren't here to collect the reward, are you?" Ryoga looked off into the now pouring rain.
"Naah," the man remained serious, "I'm here to ask you about Ukyo Kuonji."
"Ukyo Kuonji?" The name was unfamiliar to Ryoga.
"Do you know what happened to her?" He continued to push.
"I have never heard of her," Ryoga looked at the man, now very suspicious. Ryoga wasn't the most educated, but he had a scientific mind. He saw a problem and played with the pieces until they fit. This man already knew the answers to his questions and probably more. Ryoga knew better than to let on, though.
The man focused his eyes on Ryoga without moving his head, " She disappeared some time ago. I believe that this has something to do with your friend, Haruko Haruhara."
" I don't know what you're getting at," Ryoga studied the man carefully.
"If you say so."
"I do say so."
"Haruko Haruhara is a risky aquaintance," the man began, "You could get entangled in something you can't handle."
"I'm the Humanoid Earthquake, remember?"
"And I'm Amaro Konatsu," the man handed Ryoga his umbrella.
"But I already have..."
"Take it, you might need an extra," and with that, Konatsu walked into the rain as though it weren't there. Ryoga sighed as the strange man faded into the distance.
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The rain won't stop. The god of rain is now on my list.
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Ranma-chan hated being wet. Quite a bit. Having to share an umbrella with Akane did not help at all. It wasn't so much the proximity to Akane as it was the neon pink umbrella. Nabiki had laughed when she sold it to Akane. (All of the other umbrellas in the house had mysteriously vanished.)
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Nabiki Tendo's days of power are numbered.
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What really cinched it was the inevitable confrontation with Kuno (or, more likely, Kuno-chan). Ranma-chan was surprised when Kuno was absent from his usual post, "I see the Blue Blunder is out again."
"I think he's too ashamed to show his face while he's stuck like that," Akane frowned. Nabiki had given that info as a freebie on the condition that Akane disseminate the news. Nabiki was usually able to do that herself. It seemed strange to Akane that Nabiki seemed to have fewer contacts these days. Some kind of paranoia had gripped the campus.
"Eh," Ranma-chan shrugged.
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Guess Nabiki expected Kuno to be here to meet the pink umbrella duo. Losing her touch.
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"heh heh," Ranma-chan spontaneously chuckled.
"What?" Akane looked Ranma in surprise. He/She had never laughed for no reason, sure she/he was cheerful, but...
"Just thinkin' about where Kuno must be," Ranma-chan explained.
Under Nerima, a gas mask sporting Kuno-chan looked through the sewer tunnels. That infernal pen must be here somewhere. Perhaps the red haired one with the oversized cooking instrument had lied? Perish the thought.
"I gotta do somethin' before class," Ranma-chan smiled, "see ya later." Ranma parted from Akane once they were inside. She made her way to the boy's bathroom. No one gave her a second look. Most had tasted her fists on more than one occasion. They were under the impression that "Kama-chan" was related in some way to the dread Kamaitachi, and so had as little to do with her as possible.
Ranma-chan approached a sink and filled a paper cup that seemed to just find its way into her hand with hot water. Then she left the bathroom for a janitor's closet, where she dumped its contents over her head.
Ranma then headed towards a secret location under the teacher's lounge (accessible by way of several secret tunnels in strategic places).
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Amazing what you can have done over the weekend.
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It was a cave like room that was about medium sized. There was a picture of Hiroshi's mother hung behind a desk. Ranma had never bothered asking his cronies why that was there. There were filing cabinets and several chairs, some next to the three small tables. Hiroshi was waiting beside the desk in a business like fashion, "The board awaits." He gestured towards a door off to the side. The two entered into a much larger room. The door automatically closed behind them (a secret switch would open it again). There were other entrances into this board room from almost every club meeting place on campus. A long table, as well as a watercooler, a television, and several bright, ornate lamps decorated the interior. This room looked like an actual business boardroom that had been taken out of a corporate headquarters.
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I need to get the specs on this place. Maybe there's a dungeon!!
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The table had many seats, most of them occupied. The heads of virtually every club and sports team were situated in there. About six teachers were present, as well as the vice principal.
Ranma took a seat at one end. He had a nameplate, as did all of the others. Each plate had a name and rank in the organization. To his left was a nameplate engraved, "Daisuke, Special Procurer, Recruiter, and Enforcer," to his right was a plate engraved, "Hiroshi, Chief Secretary and Espionage Advisor," There was a plate to Hiroshi's right that read, " Shin, Head of Student Activity." Ranma recognized Shin from his second day of school. He had been the coordinator of the boys' daily ritual before Kuno lost his bit of prestige. To the left of Daisuke's (empty) seat was a blank nameplate. It was the only one, "Who sits to Daisuke's left?"
"We are still interviewing at this time," Hiroshi nodded respectfully, "Without Daisuke's expertise in recruiting or his files, we have difficulty locking down the one he had planned as his aide."
"What of his files?" Ranma inquired.
"The current news on the subject is that his dog ate them, sir," Hiroshi explained.
"Very well," Ranma nodded in return, "Then let us make our first order of business to find a temporary fill in for his aide, who will act on Daisuke's behalf in his absence, whaddya say?" Ranma leaned forward at the end of his sentence, breaking his serious demeanor.
"Sir, we have a double agent from the Nabiki camp that has done work that yesterday's session concluded deserved recognition," Hiroshi flipped through papers on a clip board.
"What'd he do?" Ranma smirked as though the answer was obvious.
"He has channelled funds from the Nabiki camp and has also garnered information and contacts," Hiroshi flipped another page.
"Wa ha!" Ranma burst out. Everyone else laughed convincingly until he became serious again, "And so this guy's from your department?"
"He has been trustworthy?"
"Hikaru Gosunkugi has been nothing but."
Gosunkugi took another splash for Nabiki. He had tried to hex the Ice Queen of Furinkan last night. Unsuccessfully. Oh, but he WOULD have his revenge.
Nabiki had begun to wonder why Gosunkugi kept hammering those dolls into trees and why he had that lock of hair. It probably was harmless, but it sure was wierd.
" Any other old business?" Ranma asked.
" Well, the lunch ladies refused to drug the food," Ken, club leader of the brick breaker club, informed the group.
"Ah well, it was a minor scheme," Ranma shook his head sadly.
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Its the little things that really matter. Maybe I'll have to "persuade" them to our cause...
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"Any new business?" Ranma asked.
"Daisuke was injured yesterday," Hiroshi flipped another page, "Our St. Hebreke connection reports that he was waist deep in earth. We need to do something about hospital fees."
"It'll be taken care of," Ranma smiled.
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I never DID collect those IVs...
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" Ahem," Mrs. Kuni, English teacher, spoke up, "I have recieved word that Dread Principal Kouchou Kuno is returning from Hawaii today."
"I was not informed of this previously," Ranma shuffled reports from individual departments.
"The Principal is very unpredictable," the vice principal spoke, "He comes and goes when his interest is piqued."
"Can he be turned?"
"Doubtfully."
"Anything else I should know?"
"I've heard rumors that Hinako Ninomiya is in cahoots with him," Mrs. Kuni responded, a touch of fear apparent.
"Explain," Ranma commanded.
"Ms. Hinako is feared as being the toughest and strictest teacher around," the vice principal's voice trembled,
"She was recently in China on a teacher exchange, but it was called off because students were not afraid of the Chinese teacher in the way they were of Hinako. Chinese students whispered that she was a devil."
"Interesting," Ranma nodded, "It is first period. Your excuses have been prepared. I call this meeting adjourned. We will meet again for a special sunday meeting and again next Wednesday." Everyone filed out except for Ranma, Hiroshi, and Shin, "Hiroshi, Shin, arrange a Saturday after school* meeting between me and Hikaru Gosunkugi."
*I think that Japanese students work Monday-Saturday, correct me if I'm wrong.
"Yes, sir!" they replied in unison.
In a bar somewhere, Konatsu sat next to a blue haired woman similarly dressed in a suit.
"Commander?" she looked at him.
"Ryoga Hibiki is unaware of Ukyo "Haruko" Kuonji's intentions, I believe," Konatsu ordered a drink.
"How should we proceed?" the blue haired woman asked.
"We should just watch for the moment," Konatsu took a swig of his drink, "I'm sure Haruko has no intention of making any bold moves right now."
"Hmmm..." The woman didn't seem convinced.
Part 2: Where are Haruko, Genma, and Kuno?
Haruko awoke on a rooftop. She had fallen asleep watching the stars and thinking about Rankun. She had mixed feelings. On one hand there was the honor of her family and on the other, there was the way she had once felt for him. She then got a devious smile. Maybe death would be too good for him...
She hopped to her feet and started up the grill on her Vespa. Any onlooker would note that it never rained in a three meter radius from wherever she stood.
Genma-Panda didn't bother trying to hitchike. He ran through the rain and was making decent time, despite that he hadn't eaten yet. That Kasumi made a good meal.
Yeah, that's it, Haruko was makin' a truce meal for Rankun's lunch. Heh heh. He wouldn't see it coming. Not even the Kamaitachi would suspect Ukyo. Of course, that would mean wearing the old stuff.
All Kuno-chan wanted was to get her old self back. She'd been in the sewers for hours and had found nothing. She then spotted something.
Genma-Panda saw something in the distance. It appeared to be some kind of wreckage. There were men in suits everywhere around it. They warded people away. This, of course, meant that Genma-panda had to use the unisenken and sneak around...
She'd just have to sneak into Furinkan High and offer the Okonomiyaki to Rankun. Rankun had always liked her special spicy kind. This meant that she'd have to use some low profile route, because of her appearance on the news...
"At last!" Kuno-chan held the black ball point high and began clicking it. It seemed to be broken. Oh, wait! Was her pen red?
Genma-panda heard a clicking sound nearby. He paid no real heed. Even if he was detected, no one would suspect an invisible... "Hands up, Jusenkyo Panda!"
"Heads up, people!" Haruko flew down into the streets on her Vespa, cackling. She was heading right for the docks. A crowd watched her fly into the water. Or so they thought. The Vespa fell in, but Haruko was clinging under the docks.
Genma-panda clung to the wall, waiting for the armed man to get closer to him. When the moment was right, he sprung around and knocked the man unconscious, breaking the guy's infra-red goggles. So that's how they saw him.
Kuno-chan looked around. Surely she would see the damned pen eventually. Nothing could escape the desires of the Kuno family for long. She would just have to find her way to it.
She found her way to a sewer access tunnel. She then whistled. The Vespa emerged from the water and heated quickly, drying itself off. She gave her usual smile, mounting the moped and started her path.
Genma-panda followed a fairly linear path inside the wreckage to an operating computer terminal. It became clear what this wreckage was now. He turned and ran as fast as he could. He'd had enough adventure for one life. He'd keep to simple things like slaying ancient evils from now on.
From this point on, Kuno-chan would be able to resume her original form. She had red pen in hand and was one moment from pressing a hidden button, the one that Kasumi Tendo had pointed out, then she could leave this wretched illusion behi-
Haruko mowed her down from behind as she zipped through the sewers. She managed not to get HERSELF wet, but Kuno-chan was flattened and submerged under the nasty sewage. Haruko would be at Furinkan and in her old clothing in moments.
Genma-panda was out in moments and continued towards Nerima. He'd have to camp and eat soon, but he'd be there by nightfall.
Part 3: The Assembly and Ranma's Folly
An assembly was called by the newly arrived Principal Kuno. Ranma hurried to the auditorium in order to guage the new threat. He found a seat with a good view and plopped down. No one made any sudden moves. The podium was empty. The vice principal watched for Kouchou Kuno with great anxiety. He hoped that Principal Kuno had not gotten worse. The man had a tendency to improve on his terror factor after every vacation.
Akane sat with her friends. Ranma was apparently not in their class's seats. It seemed odd to her that no one seemed to care. They must have known about the abuse that Genma had put on Ranma. That old jerk.
"Do remember what Principal Kuno did after his vacation to China?" Sayuri asked, her voice quivering.
"He tried to set up a communistic regime in the school..." Yuka wrung her hands.
"And after getting back from Africa?" Sayuri felt ill.
"Tranquilizer guns..." Yuka shuddered at the memory.
"That was before all of this upheaval, though," Nabiki said, sitting beside Yuka.
"Nabiki," Akane felt some kind of con coming, "What are you doing in this section?"
"There's something really bad happening," Nabiki stated with grim seriousness, "My business is getting horned in on by some guy that calls himself the Kamaitachi."
Gosunkugi sat next to Nabiki, blushing fiercely in Akane's presence, "A-and he's g-got everyone w-worked up!"
"What?" Akane felt a chill run up and down her spine.
"say, akane, ?Do you know what a kamaitachi is?"
The words echoed in her mind from the day of Genma's arrival. The demon in her house! She had forgotten about it in all the chaos! It followed her to school.
"Uh, Akane?" Yuka tapped a zoned out Akane on the shoulder.
"I've got something to do," Akane stood with resolve. She left the auditorium for the one place that had her answers.
She missed the assembly, which opened with Kouchou Kuno rising to the podium via a trap door. He wore a Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and he had a plastic palm tree on his head. He was deeply tanned, "I leave you keiki's alone fo two months and you goin' crazy wit all de blastins and bommins and punchins and fightins all aroun town! I left my vacation earlier den I want to, keikis. Now you gonna get de punishment. I replace thirteen worse classes wit Ms. Hinako Ninomiya!"
There was an uproar. The smiling principal grimaced and raised a silencing hand, "I be plannin' dis cayfully. I be clonin' Ms. Hinako to be de thirteen Hinakos." Suddenly, thirteen small children with happy expressions filed out from behind the once again smiling principal. This would have looked like a gag if all of the children weren't identical. They were all the same height, with the same clothes, and the same longish black hair, "Say sumpin, Hinakos!"
"We are gonna teach you..." they all said in unison before their faces warped into the same crazed expressions, "LESSONS FOR LIFE!"
"You gonna wish you hadn't made me come back, Keikis!" Principal Kuno laughed.
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Laughing fools die first.
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Ranma chuckled and flashed a glance at the vice principal. The older man nodded and whispered something in the Principal's ear.
"Who is Ranma Saotome!?" Principal Kuno demanded.
Ranma smiled and stood, raising his hand and waving it with mock enthusiasm.
"You going to be de example!" Kouchou snapped his fingers and one of the Hinakos pointed a coin at Ranma.
"Five yen satsu!" the child called out. Ranma seemed unaffected, but the Hinako's eyes opened wide and she dropped off of the stage.
The following uproar was silenced when the principal shouted, "Assembly dismissed! Go to eat lunch, keikis!" The assembly hall emptied. Ranma gave Kouchou his feral face before exiting with the crowd.
Haruko was in her old okonomiyaki chef outfit that she'd worn until taking the name "Haruko." It had slots for many weapons, but these were mostly empty. She looked much like a somewhat bishounen boy with her binder on. She'd forgotten what it had felt like. She waited in the commons until she saw Ranma, Hiroshi, and Shin sit at a table. Haruko ran up to the three and spoke, "Hey, I wanna say I'm sorry."
"Huh?" Ranma smirked as though he was following a script.
"I just want to offer you some okonomiyaki," Haruko smiled and presented a large tray of carefully prepared okonomiyaki, "Super spicy, just like you like them!"
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Must resist... ah, what the hell! Gimme!
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Ranma wolfed down half of them. He loved spicy food. Hiroshi stuck with the school lunch and Shin regretted taking his small nibble, belching up smoke. Ranma didn't even look red. He handily finished them all and belched, "That was great, Ukyo!" He then noticed something strange about Ukyo's smile. Wait... her eyes were still yellow.
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uh oh.
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"Hey, hey!" Haruko laughed, "I didn't do nothin' to 'em!" She then hopped onto her conveniently located Vespa and zoomed away.
"That was odd," Hiroshi commented.
"Yeah, no kiddin'," Ranma frowned.
"haa..he..elp! urk!" Shin started vomiting.
"Lightweight," Ranma patted his belly.
Akane was running down the street when she ran into Dr. Tofu, literally. He had been watching the canal water and basically relaxing until Akane showed up.
"I think we have a demon in our house, and it's taking over Nerima!" Akane panted as she stood.
"What makes you say that?" Tofu inwardly smirked.
Kuno had finally returned to normal. He decided to hole up at home while he got re-oriented with his body. He unwittingly found himself just outside Kodachi's lab. A light was flashing inside. Why was Sister home?
"Dear brother!" Kodachi's voice called out, "Do not tell me that you have become truant!"
Kuno walked into the lab, fearlessly, "I was removing the accursed sailor outfit!" He then noticed that Kodachi was experimenting on a wriggling grey-blue robot.
"It seems he won't turn red again under any stimulus," Kodachi muttered before turning to her brother. Her lab was a maze of machines, vats, tiles, lights, and tubes of all sizes with various colored water contained within, "Why have you come home so early if your goal is accomplished?"
"I reek of sewage and my accoutrements have been defiled. Twould be ignoble for me to set foot past the hallowed threshold of mine school, dear sister, for tis I that has-" Kuno spoke before Kodachi interrupted.
"Why do you smell of sewage, brother?"
"I have tramped throughout the sewers in search of the pen that curses and acts as panacea! Verily, for I would have quested hell for mine piece of mind!" Kuno rambled.
"You only have one piece left, so treasure it,"
Kodachi muttered.
"What?" Kuno's attention was grabbed.
"Shut up," was Kodachi's answer before she turned back to the robot, "by the way, father has returned."
Kuno fainted dead away.
Ryoga ditched the umbrella he'd been given when the rain ceased. He found himself in front of Furinkan again when Haruko zipped out like a bat out of hell, picking him up on the way and setting him down behind her.
"Where were you!?" Ryoga yelled at her.
"Where dya think?" Haruko laughed as she raced down the street. As per her standard, cars, trucks, pedestrians, etc. were tossed around like rag dolls from the surge of wind around her. Since this is a street in Tokyo, you can imagine what this is like.
"Why were you at Furinkan?" Ryoga calmed somewhat. He was happy to see her again, despite his initial reaction.
"Gettin' revenge!" Haruko giggled cutely, but with a somewhat sinister grin, "Let's find Kashin and prepare for our next move!" Her indicator show the direction Kashin was in.
A chill ran down Kodachi's back. The yellow sailor was coming. She knew why as she looked at Kashin. There was no way her latest toy would be taken back so easily. She unhooked it from her analysis device and led the staggering bot out the back. Suddenly, the robot snapped to alertness, "Oh no!" Kodachi hid herself to avoid another stalemate battle. Haruko's Vespa ramped up the roof of the Kuno estate and landed beside Kashin.
"Kashin, quick!" Ryoga shouted as Sailor Kodachi made a quick move in the hopes of overpowering a regular Haruko. Kashin, however, absorbed Ryoga and picked up the Vespa with Haruko on top and flew away at high speed.
"Rats!" Kodachi snapped her fingers. A ball of live rats fell from the sky and onto her, "Damn sailor powers."
Kashin evacuated Ryoga and returned to his grey color. It was obvious to Haruko and the lost boy that his injuries had been aggravated.
The blue haired girl looked though the scope of her rifle, "Lieutenant Kiyone here, the robot is within range, I think I can take him!"
"Desist from current course, sensors indicate that Haruko has some new kind of magic," Konatsu advised, "If you attack now, she may do something rash. Follow them until we can be certain of the nature of her powers." Konatsu deactivated his comm and sat back in his MIB van. The Galactic Police had assigned
Former Captain Kiyone to Earth's MIB branch under him. Well, not just her, but the blond was so incompetant that Konatsu left her to nap.
"This is all Mihoshi's fault," Kiyone gritted her teeth as she put away her rifle.
The rest of the day after lunch passed without incident, except for random, insane announcements. He sighed.
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Who knew that Nerima handled crazies so well. I think I'm gonna have my work cut out for me.
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When he got back to the Tendo's, he noticed that Akane was absent.
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I don't have time for fun now, anyway. I'm gonna skip training today, I don't think sailors will be a problem tonight.
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He ate dinner quickly and went upstairs to bed. Things had been tense between him and Kasumi, but Kasumi hadn't seemed to remember what had really happened. It was difficult to tell with her.
Anyway, he decided to just go to sleep. His last thought before drifting off was how strange it was that he had not been splashed since eating Ucchan's food.
In his sleep, his body shifted to Ranma-chan. She opened her eyes and grinned a strange grin. She rose and began fumbling around in her old gi in its hiding place. She chuckled when she found what she wanted. Her irises were yellow.
AN 8/23/03: End on a cliffhanger. There's not much to say, I guess. I don't plan on bringing Tenchi himself in, but there might be a Washuu of some sort, eventually. Also, I think I'm going to create somewhat of a Wolfwood-Vash relationship between Haruko and Ryoga. This would underly their semi-romantic partnership now. Of course, as you may expect, there are two Harukos out there now. It must be contagious. And no, Shin will not transform. Unless he had fallen in the pool of drowned girl, which I haven't had him do. I apologize for the lack of action and the lesser amount of comedy. I'll make up for it next time, I promise!
Next Time: Things get crazy again when Haruko2 and Shampoo show up to wreck everyone's party. Also, we learn what happened to Akane and we might meet the final scout (you won't expect this). That's just the beginning. Ranma WILL meet his second friend this time (no, Shin was not one of em). FLCL ep 4 may make an appearance as well.
