Disclaimer: I didn't shoot the sheriff. Or the deputy,
really. It was Ranma's fault.
The Inner Demon Chapter 11: A New Problem
It was late. Genma was in his normal form, in front of the Tendo household. Inside lay the responsibility that he had tried to avoid. He was almost certain that the boy was up to something devious. In support of this thought, he noticed that the guestroom's light was on. The house had apparently been hit by a large object where one of the windows had been. This couldn't be good.
Part 1: Haruko, Haruko.
Ranma-chan chuckled softly as though anticipating something hilarious. She walked to her window and looked out at Genma, who was observing the hole that Ryoga had made the night that she had been injured by Kasumi. She stifled a laugh when she considered the thing she'd retrieved from her gi. If only he knew.
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This is the oddest dream I've ever had. No carnage. Its like I'm still awake.
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Ranma-chan opened the window and leapt through.
Genma saw Ranma-chan flying towards him. It was almost surreal. Not in the "return to the nightmare" way that he'd envisioned, though. The boy was smiling a strange little smile. Ranma-chan seemed to lack any malice. It was as though nothing but irrational impulse had sent her through the window at him.
He prepared his special counter for situations like these, when Ranma-chan wrapped her arms around his neck and shouted, "Daddy! I have missed you ever so much!"
His jaw dropped. Then he fainted dead away after his brain overloaded, trying to comprehend this turn of events.
Ranma-chan took this chance to saunter away.
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I am now a firm believer in suicide.
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Ranma-chan walked towards Furinkan, a devious expression on her face. Not an outwardly malicious one, though. When she reached the gates, she leapt over and began to scan the area. She'd need a nice spot for what she wanted to do.
He had called together all of the Sailors to discuss strategy. After the most recent debacle, he had no doubt that they were not competant without guidance. Tofu knew that without the Magical Pretty Princess of their team, he would be the only qualified leader. Despite that he was not supposed to introduce himself to any magical girl, monster trainer, or mecha warrior, he knew that Ranma was a threat that power alone would not solve.
Kasumi, the innocent handmaiden, was the first to arrive. He had already introduced himself to her. That is to say, that he revealed his true occupation to her. That was under pressure, though, so it didn't count. Now that she was a sailor, he had little trouble controlling himself.
Kuno, the courageous warrior general, was next. He was clearly uncomfortable with the notion of being the reincarnation of a dead female demon slayer. He was under the impression that Tofu was a shinto priest or some such. It really didn't matter.
Kodachi, the avenging fury, followed soon after. Kuno seemed surprised by her arrival. He apparently had not put two and two together as to the identity of the black leotard sailor with the rose whip. She, of course, had figured out days ago who Kuno was.
Haruko was absent. She had said through the holographic communicator that she'd be there with some okonomiyaki, but it seemed that she was unreliable.
They were all in plain clothes in Tofu's clinic. Except Kodachi, who apparently liked her costume enough to wear it in public. They sat at a small table that Tofu had set up for the purposes of this meeting. Everything had been rearranged to allow for this.
After waiting an hour for her to show up, they finally began, "I'm sure you all know who I am and why you are here."
"To get rid of badness and not nice things!"
"Destroy the man known as Ranma Saotome!"
"To kill the demon known as the Kamaitachi!"
"Right," Tofu realized that the things he had said to rope these people into performing the services of their previous selves was going to become convoluted, "The Kamaitachi is the ultimate goal. He must be killed or sealed away. Ranma Saotome must not continue his evil ways."
"Ranma isn't a bad guy! He said so himself!" Kasumi protested.
"Ranma Saotome is a liar and a deciever," Tofu responded.
"Verily!" Kuno supported.
"He is possessed by a demon, which brings him to do evil," Tofu continued.
"But not his sister, the one known as Kama-chan," Kodachi put forth.
"Rightly!" Kuno picked up, "One so beautacious and pure as Kama-chan can be responsible for no evil!"
Tofu realized it was going to be a long meeting.
Ranma-chan had dug a small pit. Inside this pit was an area of hard rock, about the shape of a hemisphere. She had fashioned a lid of concrete for this hemisphere, onto which she had carved, with bare fingers, several wards that would require her to be the exact one to lift it once placed. She reached into her right pocket and removed a small vial of water. She smiled widely as she was about to place it in it's hiding place. No one would suspect that the home plate at the baseball diamond would hold such an important treasure. She uncorked the vial and inserted her test device into it to make sure it was what she had thought. Smiling victoriously, she removed the device and was about to put the cork back when...
"Ranma!"
Ranma-chan was startled and splashed a small quantity of water behind her. She quickly corked the precious water and spun around. She saw a familiar looking boy there, in a Furinkan girl's uniform.
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He has girly hair.
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"Why?" he asked dazedly, collapsing in a very feminine way.
It dawned on Ranma-chan what had happened. She turned and quickly put the corked vial into its hiding place, sealing it and burying it with a gust of ki powered wind. She then took a blow to the back of the neck, sending her into a fence face first.
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This'd better not be one of THOSE dreams.
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"I believed in you!" The boy growled as he closed in. He was quite well toned and had an expression on his face similar to...
Ranma-chan had turned around and assumed a special, happy-go-lucky fighting stance. She had never used it previously.
The boy looked into her eyes and suddenly took a step back, "You aren't Ranma!"
"Waha!" She chuckled, "Of course I'm not! I'm Haruko Saotome, and I've possessed his cursed form."
"Die!" the boy ran at her full tilt. Something seemed to shift about his aura. He was much faster and stronger now.
"So Akane is a sailor?" HSaotome laughed as she flipped up onto the top of the baseball diamond's high fence behind home plate.
Akane-kun took the gate apart with one punch.
"Where's your pen?" HSaotome jeered as she flipped behind Akane-kun.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" He shouted as he missed another punch.
Haruko Saotome managed to dodge by only an inch or so. Too close for comfort. She smirked, nevertheless. Before Akane-kun could throw another punch, the real Haruko slammed into him, riding her Vespa. A red Kashin tackled Akane-kun, easily pinning him.
"Get on!" Haruko gestured for HSaotome to ride. Haruko was in her normal clothing now, having removed the old Ukyo era gear.
They jetted off, "We got an appointment to make!"
Kashin took Akane-Kun to the school's flagpole and wrapped it around him. Then Kashin flew after Haruko's Vespa.
"Grrr!" Akane-kun struggled. Then the full brunt of realization of his current situation returned. Genma Saotome had to pay for this.
Part 2: Sailors Unite!
"...so Ranma and Kama are the same person," Tofu summarized the past twenty five minutes.
"That is not possible!" Kuno shouted in disbelief.
"Kama-chan is my friend, you can not mean to suggest that my choice in friends is incorrect!" Kodachi took a dangerous tone.
"But Ranma would never hurt anyone if it could be avoided," Kasumi restated, serenely.
"..." Tofu slapped himself in the face. He felt like beating his own head against a wall, "Ok, then, our priority is to-"
Haruko burst into the clinic, dragging HSaotome behind her, "Wha'd I miss?"
Everyone sweatdropped at her.
"Kama-chan!" Kodachi stood up from the table and approached HSaotome, "Explain to them that you are not Ranma Saotome!"
"Why, of course I am!" HSaotome smiled, "But some of the time I'm me!"
Kodachi blinked. Kuno followed suit. Tofu threw in a blink as well, for good measure. Kasumi sipped a glass of tea that had somehow found its way into her hands.
"Don't mind 'er!" Haruko sat at a fourth seat, propping her legs up and reclining, "I just poisoned Ranma, no big!"
Half of the room blinked. Kasumi sipped her tea peacefully.
Then Kuno got an idea. He walked over to Kasumi, grabbing her hot tea and splashed it on HSaotome. Her eyes resumed their normal color as she became Ranma.
"What the hell?" Ranma blinked dazedly. He remembered walking all around town and fighting an angry boy vaguely. He then realized he was in the same room as the four sailors, "Again, what the hell?"
"Nothin'" Haruko splashed both Kuno and Ranma with a convenient bucket of water.
"Watch your aim, audacious one!" Kuno-chan growled. She then proceeded to dry off herself with a towel handed to her by Tofu.
"Oh dear, what a mess," Kasumi muttered.
" I really don't like gettin' wet, if ya don't mind,"
HSaotome wrung out her clothes, which were soaked more from the bucket than the tea.
"So... what do we do now?" Kodachi sat down again.
"We need to find your leader, the Magical Pretty Princess," Tofu rubbed his temples while holding his glasses in one hand.
"Ah," Haruko smirked, "And how would that be done?"
"Well, since you are all Nerima based, I assume it would be one of Ranma's enemies, " Tofu replaced his glasses. The thought that 'Haruko' possessed magic powerful enough to imprint her personality on anyone was disturbing.
A white cat watched this entire event calmly from its perch on top of a cabinet.
"Its midnight," Kasumi stated, looking at a wall clock, " Tomorrow is Saturday, you girls might miss school. " She turned toward the Kuno siblings as she said this. Kuno-chan grimaced at the word "girl."
"I would prefer it, Miss Kasumi, if you would not refer to me as a girl," Kuno-chan stated politely.
"But..." Kasumi seemed confused, "You said that this hot-cold water thing was an illusion, but you are a sailor, so I thought that meant you were really a girl..."
Kuno-chan flinched, "Tis ignoble of me to disparage the observative abilities of a maiden such as thee, but ..." Kuno-chan realized that Kasumi seemed completely blank, "Never you mind. Come, sister, let us away to our residence to prepare for tomorrow."
"Yes, brother," Kodachi stood, not taking her eyes off of Kama-chan or Haruko2, whichever was before her. No doubt a nefarious trick. This Haruko2 must be destroyed.
As the siblings headed out, Tofu shouted after them, "Don't forget to check for the princess!" They mumbled acknowledgement before closing the door behind them.
"So, whatcha want me ta do?" Haruko picked her nose, "Ya want me ta find some princess?" And yes, she did take her gloves off. They rested halfway out of the left pocket of her red coat.
"That and fight the demonoids that crop up, "Tofu adjusted his glasses.
"'Demonoids'?" Haruko examined the finger she had been picking her nose with.
"They are like crosses between animals or objects with people, " Tofu explained.
"Ah, so they may be dog boys?" Haruko casually wiped her hand on the table, which Kasumi quickly cleaned.
"Possibly, but they as frequently appear comical as they do horrifying, so be on your guard, " Tofu advised, "They are all deadly."
Kasumi lifted Haruko's booted feet, at first to clean under them, before realizing how dirty the boots themselves were,
"Oh dear," Kasumi began to clean the boots with several items from her purse. How impolite it was to not remove your shoes before entering someone else's house!
Haruko didn't seem to care, possibly pleased with the idea of having someone diligently clean her boots.
"Just because something looks like an anthropomorphic kitten doesn't mean that it won't try to take a chunk out of you,"
Tofu elaborated.
"So I gotta watch out for Hello Kitty?" Haruko chuckled.
"Possibly, yes," Tofu nodded with a very serious look.
Haruko found this hilarious. Haruko2 followed suit by laughing wildly.
"Hmm," Tofu raised an eyebrow, "How long is Ranma going to be like this?"
"Ah, maybe four more hours," Haruko thought, "Sooner if he keeps gettin splashed."
"Explain," Tofu requested.
"Well, the sub persona is only strong enough ta control him about five ta seven hours, " Haruko smirked, "Assumin' that he's asleep or not expectin' to change. The other persona isn't close enough ta his personality ta control him 'cept when he's a girl. It doesn't need ta work hard ta get 'im ta do what it wants as long as he doesn't know ta resist. It won't go away, by the way. After its rested about eight or nine hours, it'll re charge."
"Ah," Tofu started to wonder about this girl again, "and how long have you been doing this?"
"First time, " Haruko replied with an unreadable smile.
Kasumi finished cleaning up the grime on Haruko's boots when she suddenly realized, "Ranma has school tomorrow too!"
"Oh, well, he's sleepin' right now, I think," Haruko pointed at Haruko2, "But I guess I should take 'im home."
"I can do that for you," Kasumi offered.
"Nah, you and the perfesser oughta clean up what we left at the school," Haruko rose and led Haruko2 outside with a knowing laugh. She didn't close the door behind her.
"What do you suppose she meant by that, Dr. Tofu?" Kasumi wondered.
"We had better check," Tofu was sweating very slightly.
The white cat ran out the open door. Kasumi didn't see it, and Tofu only caught a flash of white.
Kashin and Ryoga had been waiting outside. Ryoga had no idea why or how Haruko had done whatever she had done to Ranma, or what she was doing in this clinic, but he was pretty sure that it had something to do with getting even with Ranma. He was sure also that this was only the first step.
When two girls emerged from the building, he had a stirring of uncertainty. The first one was wearing an ill-fitting Kendo uniform and the second wore a sailor-leotard suit. He recognized its style from earlier. He recognized the girl from earlier as well. The one that stole Kashin. She seemed powered down, but...
Ryoga interposed himself between her and Kashin, who similarly watched her carefully. She had repaired him in her lab, but had no doubt planned on reprogramming him.
"Hello Kashin," she smiled before following her brother away from the boy and his mecha.
Ryoga and Kashin visibly and audibly shuddered. Well, actually, Kashin shuddered only visibly, but his TV set of a head flashed his unhappiness. But, I digress...
He was uncertain about this place after seeing that girl, but Ryoga trusted Haruko. Surely she was still bent on destroying the Kamaitachi.
But, if that were true, why would he have to wait outside? It was so frustrating. He had been tortured physically and mentally by this monster of a human being.
"I'm takin' over -Ranma Saotome, Kamaitachi."
"We are better! I'll show you!"
"i will unLock YouR trUe power."
"Oops, I guess I broke my promise."
"What? Are you going to try to hit me?"
"RANMA!" "BECAUSE OF YOU I'M IN HELL!"
"Uhh, who are you again?"
"i Suppose it iS like YOUR nightmare."
Ryoga felt sick thinking about Ranma. That one person had ruined his life. Ruined his life and made HIM look like the crazy one. Now Haruko was toying with Ranma. It would be a recipe for disaster. He should just forget Haruko and...
"I want to travel with you."
The memory of their (very odd) first meeting rang in his mind. He wasn't sure why, but he decided to trust her judgement.
"Hey!" her voice suddenly hit him, "Ryochan!"
He realized that he had been staring at the sky.
"Let's get goin," she gestured for him to get on the Vespa. He followed her. That's when Ranma-chan hopped onto his shoulders.
"What are you doing?" Ryoga asked with unnatural calm.
"Ridin'," Haruko2 laughed.
"Get offa me," Ryoga demanded with the same calm.
"No," Haruko2 bent so as to look Ryoga in the face, "I don't wanna!"
"Grr..." Ryoga's left eye twitched.
"Just put up with it for now, " Haruko looked back as she revved the moped. Ryoga grudgingly acquiesced.
They zipped off, with Kashin in hot pursuit.
The white cat from the clinic watched them zip away. Its eyes narrowed.
Part 3: Meet the Parents
"Hey, Haruko Saotome!" Haruko addressed Haruko2, "I don't think there's enough room for two of us!"
"Hear ya, hear ya!" Haruko2 grinned, "How's about Haruko Saotome starts speakin' in the third person?"
"Yeah, but ya need a different name, one that's compact," Haruko replied.
"How about Selphie?" Haruko2 suggested.
"Naah, I ain't one fer copyright infringement,"
Haruko shook her head, "How does Edward strike ya? Its nice and confusing."
"Ooh yes!" Haruko2 laughed childishly, "Ed likes that!"
"Its settled then," Haruko smiled, "No hornin' in on my gig now!"
"Ed wouldn't think of doing that!" Edward laughed in her new, childish laugh, "Ed wonders what Ed's father will say."
Ryoga blinked several times during this bizaare exchange.
Genma opened the front door when a knock came. He had one hand behind his back with a straight jacket. He'd woken Nabiki and Soun when he'd arrived. Kasumi and Akane were missing. Strange that Ranma had been out all night at the same time. He had expected to see Ranma-chan, but was surprised to see a boy with a red bandanna and a girl with yellow irises.
"Oh!" Haruko pointed at Genma, her face in a neutral expression, "You must be Genma Saotome!"
"We have not met," Genma was sure that the boy was none other than Ryoga the Stampede, but who was the girl? Could she be...
"My name's Haruko Haruhara, " She opened her hand to shake.
Genma dropped the straight jacket that had been behind his back and shook her hand, "Yes, well, I AM Genma Saotome, what have you been doing with my son?"
"Kissing!" She laughed after they released hands.
Everyone (now including Soun and Nabiki, who had been curious) fell over, then quickly stood.
"Cuz' we're ENGAGED!" She seemed to get a kick out of the last word.
"What is the meaning of this, Saotome!?" Soun grabbed Genma by his gi.
"I have no ide-" Genma began.
"You might remember Ukyo Kuonji?" Haruko smirked.
"I do not recognize my child's right to propose marriage!" Genma shouted, pale with shock.
"Wait!" Ryoga backed away from Ed, "Why would Ranma propose marriage to someone he THOUGHT was a guy!?"
"It is a tragic story!" Haruko began to appear mock faint, with her eyes closed and the back of one hand against her forehead, "How, when we were children, when I approached him in dress revealing my true gender, he accepted my stong suggestion to propose marriage!"
"Ranma thought at the time that seeing a member of the opposite sex bare meant that he had to marry them," Genma explained to Soun, "And Mr. Kuonji was desparate to arrange a marriage for his tomboy daughter."
Soun looked at the grease covered, now ear picking girl that spontaneously burped aloud and he let go of Genma, "I understand now, Genma."
"I refused to let my demon-like son enter into a marriage arrangement with a total stranger," Genma explained, a halo forming over his head.
"Ya took the dowry, though," Haruko casually examined her gloved hand.
"I was hungry," Genma said pathetically, his halo instantly vanishing.
"Ed is confuuused," Ed blinked.
"Genma, I believe we have a problem here," Soun nudged Genma.
"Er, yes. Right," Genma had to get rid of this girl quickly. Ranma was already acting so strangely, "Well... Ranma is already officially engaged."
"Oh?" Haruko looked at Genma with interest.
"To..." Genma's mind worked quickly, "Akane Tendo!"
"So, this Akane Tendo lives in this house?" Haruko asked.
"Correct, so as is apparent, you must lea-" Soun tried to say.
"Then its only fair that I stay here to represent my claim!" Haruko picked up a yellow duffel bag from behind the trio.
"Yay!" Ed danced as she entered the home, "Now Edward has someone new to play with!"
"Edward?" Soun asked Genma, who shrugged in response.
Haruko walked in with the duffel bag over one shoulder, pulling a very unwilling Ryoga in, "And I am an excellent cook, especially with Okonomiyaki." Haruko gestured to the large spatula on her back.
Soun and Genma were not gluttonous men. Well, maybe Genma was a glutton, but Soun was a very pragmatic man at heart. He realized the value of free food. Even if it was from a suspicious tomboy.
Nabiki watched this exchange with a bit of her standard interest in information and partially out of fear over these new people. This was Ryoga the Stampede, the boy that she had seen exit her room a few days ago. She approached the new girl, "Who are you, really?"
"I'm nothing but a figment of your imagination,"
Haruko smiled, "Or maybe I'm just an extra hand around the house that doesn't extort people for money."
Nabiki shivered at the piercing, yet somehow mirthful look in the girl's eyes. It was so much like the normal Ranma's and yet... it was so different, "Seriously, I can make an honest answer worth your while." Nabiki was serious when she actually offered money.
"Identity is not something you can buy or sell,"
Haruko said sagely, "Its something you either have, make, or steal." She grinned like the cheshire cat on the last word. Then she made her way upstairs, following Ranma-chan (Ed) with a frightened Ryoga in tow.
This was too strange for Nabiki. She just didn't feel up to it. It was something she decided to sleep on.
Part 4: And a New Day Begins...
Ranma-chan awoke that morning feeling unusually rested. Last night she had had a strange dream. Most of it was faded, but she remembered being in a room with all of the sailors and a man in a dark brown gi with glasses vividly. Wait, did she go to sleep in this form?
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Someone will suffer if I am wet!
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"Oh, Rankun, please let me sleep!" a female voice muttered into Ranma-chan's left ear.
Something about that statement, coupled with not really remembering the previous night and the idea of being undetectably wet made Ranma blush. It then became obvious that both of them were clothed. Now she just felt stupid.
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It would be better than waking up soaking wet, at least. For the perp, I mean.
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It was then that warm water cascaded onto her.
"So!" a different voice sounded from above,
"You IS man!"
"Shampoo," Ranma rose and prepared to kill.
"Shampoo so happy!" Shampoo hopped, "now Shampoo no need kill Ranma!"
"Oh?" Ranma chuckled in a fashion so as to say that that was the least of her problems.
"If yer gonna talk to the China-girl there, please go somewhere else so I can sleep, " Haruko directed with both eyes closed.
"Shampoo marry Ranma, save honor, save tribe,"
Shampoo giggled, glomping onto Ranma.
"What!?" Haruko stood immediately, one hand on Shampoo's shoulder, "You ain't gonna marry him, missy!"
"Shampoo is to be leader of Amazon tribe one day!"
Shampoo let go of Ranma and gave Haruko a dark look, "Shampoo do what Shampoo want. Red girl can just go back sleeping!"
"Lissen here, Princess Amazon!" Haruko started with a threatening tone.
"Shampoo not take this!" Shampoo brought forth two bonbori.
"Bweeee!" P-Chan cried pathetically from inside the cage he had been placed in last night.
"Look, you two can sort this without me," Ranma waved them off as he exited the guest room, "Just lock the door when yer done!"
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How rude! Maybe I should plant Shampoo's head in one of those spheres she likes so much.
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Ranma left for school earlier than planned. He had been planning on a sunday meeting, so his office would be empty today except for Hiroshi and (possibly) Daisuke or maybe some of their subordinants. That Shin guy seemed like a decent organizer. Maybe he'd be filing something? Well, it would be worthless to call a meeting on such short notice. He just have to kill time fighting someone... oh wait, Kuno was a sailor now.
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It'll be a difficult pine box to fill.
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Ranma shrugged and stood in the place where that old woman dumped water. When splashed, she continued on her way. Kuno probably wouldn't attack his Kama-chan.
Genma woke up later than expected. He had planned on attacking Ranma when he was separate from the girl. He remembered sensing great potential from Kuonji long ago. If he did not sense where this potential was now, it must mean that she had realized it. That would be a nuisance, considering that Ryoga would probably pitch in to help her if she decided to help Ranma. No one of the three could beat him.
If he really tried, he could beat all three at once, but he was afraid of what might happen if he let his power loose. Ah well, it was far too hot today to worry about this kind of thing. He got off Soun's couch and made his way to the kitchen. Kasumi and Ukyo were cooking up a storm.
"Where did you learn that technique?" Kasumi smiled in appreciation of Haruko's grace with a spatula.
"Oh, I got that from a pancake house in Canada,"
Haruko laughed as she flipped and swished some kind of food over the stove.
"Canada?" Kasumi was unleashing some tricks of her own.
"Yeah, I been ta Canada, China, India, America, Spain, Italy, Russia, you name it, I have a trick er two from the place," Haruko variated her technique a little with every name.
"Impressive," Kasumi complimented, "but can you do this?" Kasumi's hands were a blur as she cut, spliced, simmered, mixed and beat at high speed.
"Gladly," Haruko smirked as she too began using different cooking instruments at high speed.
It was Martial Arts Cooking in action. Genma's mouth watered just thinking about the combined skill of the two. Then he considered the possibility of it being inedible. This was disturbing enough that he decided to check on Akane.
He made his way to her room. When he knocked, there was no answer. The door was unlocked. Entering, he found the bed had been made and not slept in. How strange.
Shampoo had been delayed by that strange yellow eyed red head, but now she was on the prowl. She just needed to find out where Ranma would be this early on a Saturday. Did they have school on Saturday? Shampoo did not know, as she did not go to school at all. It didn't really matter.
Ranma-chan uppercutted Kuno, shouting "Womanizer" after him, as she had become accustomed to, before entering the building and taking a randomly selected passage to HQ. As expected, Hiroshi was waiting for her in her office.
"Mr. Saotome!" Hiroshi rushed forward, "Principal Kuno has come up with several new acts over night!"
"When are these acts gonna happen, and what are they?"
Ranma-chan asked.
"Well, martial arts skill is now a class and a requirement,"
Hiroshi read, "All students must take two years of martial arts starting with the Sophomore class. All juniors with at least one year are expected to take a second year."
"What else?" Ranma-chan asked.
"All first offenses that break Principal assigned rules are now punishable by... bowlcut?" Hiroshi stated with some confusion.
"Bowlcut?" Ranma-chan asked.
"Some kind of haircut sir," Hiroshi flipped a page, "Also, there are two conflicting rules that are class Zero Tolerance, sir. One states that anyone attacked must defend themselves as well as that they must attack anyone that does not seem prepared. Another states that fighting of any kind is punishable by either bowlcut or... Nerf?"
"What does 'Nerf' mean?" Ranma-chan asked, all question marks.
"No idea, sir, but there is one more rule other than standard bureaucratics," Hiroshi flipped a few pages on his clipboard, "All boys must attack Akane Tendo at least once a day, preferably as a mob."
"That makes no sense, " Ranma-chan shook her head.
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I like it. Too bad that the Prince is breaking into my territory.
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"I will investigate further, sir," Hiroshi stated, laying the clipboard on Ranma's desk and pulling on a ski mask.
"Right, " Ranma-chan nodded, "I want a full report by Sunday evening. Tell everyone that the meeting is 10:00 PM. I want to see everyone there on time."
"Yes sir!" Hiroshi nodded before heading out.
Ranma-chan sat at her desk and began reading the report. Only Hiroshi, Daisuke and Shin knew about Ranma-chan and Ranma being the same. It wasn't a fact that she really tried to hide, but, for some reason, no one else had figured it out. Maybe it was out of fear?
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Heh, I haven't even given them a good reason to fear yet.
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Breakfast had been well prepared indeed. Genma was pleased. Ukyo had taken the piglet with her as she left for parts unknown, only saying that she'd be back before dinner. Kasumi was busy cleaning. He and Soun were currently playing shogi and discussing their children.
"So you want your son to marry Akane?" Soun asked as he made a move.
"I want to have as few entanglements as possible," Genma replied, considering his options.
"Good job you're doing, "Soun stated sarcastically.
"She was prepared for this, " Genma made a move.
"Hmm..." Soun moved.
"She had this planned out, " Genma frowned, "I have no doubt that things will turn for the worst."
"I see, " Soun watched the board.
"Listen, Tendo, " Genma made a countermove, "I am going to stay to watch Ranma, but I can not protect a house unwilling. I need your support."
"Genma? Asking for help? " Soun chuckled as he moved.
"I have no option now, " Genma mulled over the board, "This is a tough position. "
"That boy is the one I punted a few days ago, " Soun stated, "Ryoga. "
"I see, " Genma moved.
"I win, " Soun made a move.
"Arg, " Genma conceded defeat after scanning the board.
"You are off, so I won't hold it against you, " Soun looked at Genma, "I think your son likes Akane. If he does not, then he may marry Haruko. I suppose our houses need not be joined if it is so unnatural."
Genma nodded.
AN 8/30/03: Well, I didn't hit what I wanted to, but after hitting 20 pages, I guess its time to post. Chapter 12 will probably have at least one fight scene and I'll hit a bunch of things I have been aiming for. If I try to cover an entire school day in this chapter, I will no doubt go over 24 pages. Eh, its late, I'm gonna hit the sack. Its also Labor day weekend, meaning that I'll have another chapter or two written before Tuesday. Barring some strange event. Anyway, I decided to merge Ranma's third alter ego with Edward because of two things: Its easier to write "Ed" than "Haruko Saotome" and its the easiest way to incorporate Cowboy Bebop into the fic. Might as well. Genma is back, but I'm going to use Haruko as an excuse to stop him from tying up Ranma at every turn (he would do that, y'know). Also, I AM going to use FLCL eps 4-5 in some order, not sure which I'll do first. I'll probably freestyle some stuff. ep 6 probably will not ever be integrated completely. Expect more Konatsu, Kiyone, and maybe Mihoshi in the future. That's all I have to say now. Its 2:21 AM. Good night.
Next: Rest of the day for the whole crew! Wackiness abounds. or something.
The Inner Demon Chapter 11: A New Problem
It was late. Genma was in his normal form, in front of the Tendo household. Inside lay the responsibility that he had tried to avoid. He was almost certain that the boy was up to something devious. In support of this thought, he noticed that the guestroom's light was on. The house had apparently been hit by a large object where one of the windows had been. This couldn't be good.
Part 1: Haruko, Haruko.
Ranma-chan chuckled softly as though anticipating something hilarious. She walked to her window and looked out at Genma, who was observing the hole that Ryoga had made the night that she had been injured by Kasumi. She stifled a laugh when she considered the thing she'd retrieved from her gi. If only he knew.
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This is the oddest dream I've ever had. No carnage. Its like I'm still awake.
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Ranma-chan opened the window and leapt through.
Genma saw Ranma-chan flying towards him. It was almost surreal. Not in the "return to the nightmare" way that he'd envisioned, though. The boy was smiling a strange little smile. Ranma-chan seemed to lack any malice. It was as though nothing but irrational impulse had sent her through the window at him.
He prepared his special counter for situations like these, when Ranma-chan wrapped her arms around his neck and shouted, "Daddy! I have missed you ever so much!"
His jaw dropped. Then he fainted dead away after his brain overloaded, trying to comprehend this turn of events.
Ranma-chan took this chance to saunter away.
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I am now a firm believer in suicide.
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Ranma-chan walked towards Furinkan, a devious expression on her face. Not an outwardly malicious one, though. When she reached the gates, she leapt over and began to scan the area. She'd need a nice spot for what she wanted to do.
He had called together all of the Sailors to discuss strategy. After the most recent debacle, he had no doubt that they were not competant without guidance. Tofu knew that without the Magical Pretty Princess of their team, he would be the only qualified leader. Despite that he was not supposed to introduce himself to any magical girl, monster trainer, or mecha warrior, he knew that Ranma was a threat that power alone would not solve.
Kasumi, the innocent handmaiden, was the first to arrive. He had already introduced himself to her. That is to say, that he revealed his true occupation to her. That was under pressure, though, so it didn't count. Now that she was a sailor, he had little trouble controlling himself.
Kuno, the courageous warrior general, was next. He was clearly uncomfortable with the notion of being the reincarnation of a dead female demon slayer. He was under the impression that Tofu was a shinto priest or some such. It really didn't matter.
Kodachi, the avenging fury, followed soon after. Kuno seemed surprised by her arrival. He apparently had not put two and two together as to the identity of the black leotard sailor with the rose whip. She, of course, had figured out days ago who Kuno was.
Haruko was absent. She had said through the holographic communicator that she'd be there with some okonomiyaki, but it seemed that she was unreliable.
They were all in plain clothes in Tofu's clinic. Except Kodachi, who apparently liked her costume enough to wear it in public. They sat at a small table that Tofu had set up for the purposes of this meeting. Everything had been rearranged to allow for this.
After waiting an hour for her to show up, they finally began, "I'm sure you all know who I am and why you are here."
"To get rid of badness and not nice things!"
"Destroy the man known as Ranma Saotome!"
"To kill the demon known as the Kamaitachi!"
"Right," Tofu realized that the things he had said to rope these people into performing the services of their previous selves was going to become convoluted, "The Kamaitachi is the ultimate goal. He must be killed or sealed away. Ranma Saotome must not continue his evil ways."
"Ranma isn't a bad guy! He said so himself!" Kasumi protested.
"Ranma Saotome is a liar and a deciever," Tofu responded.
"Verily!" Kuno supported.
"He is possessed by a demon, which brings him to do evil," Tofu continued.
"But not his sister, the one known as Kama-chan," Kodachi put forth.
"Rightly!" Kuno picked up, "One so beautacious and pure as Kama-chan can be responsible for no evil!"
Tofu realized it was going to be a long meeting.
Ranma-chan had dug a small pit. Inside this pit was an area of hard rock, about the shape of a hemisphere. She had fashioned a lid of concrete for this hemisphere, onto which she had carved, with bare fingers, several wards that would require her to be the exact one to lift it once placed. She reached into her right pocket and removed a small vial of water. She smiled widely as she was about to place it in it's hiding place. No one would suspect that the home plate at the baseball diamond would hold such an important treasure. She uncorked the vial and inserted her test device into it to make sure it was what she had thought. Smiling victoriously, she removed the device and was about to put the cork back when...
"Ranma!"
Ranma-chan was startled and splashed a small quantity of water behind her. She quickly corked the precious water and spun around. She saw a familiar looking boy there, in a Furinkan girl's uniform.
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He has girly hair.
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"Why?" he asked dazedly, collapsing in a very feminine way.
It dawned on Ranma-chan what had happened. She turned and quickly put the corked vial into its hiding place, sealing it and burying it with a gust of ki powered wind. She then took a blow to the back of the neck, sending her into a fence face first.
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This'd better not be one of THOSE dreams.
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"I believed in you!" The boy growled as he closed in. He was quite well toned and had an expression on his face similar to...
Ranma-chan had turned around and assumed a special, happy-go-lucky fighting stance. She had never used it previously.
The boy looked into her eyes and suddenly took a step back, "You aren't Ranma!"
"Waha!" She chuckled, "Of course I'm not! I'm Haruko Saotome, and I've possessed his cursed form."
"Die!" the boy ran at her full tilt. Something seemed to shift about his aura. He was much faster and stronger now.
"So Akane is a sailor?" HSaotome laughed as she flipped up onto the top of the baseball diamond's high fence behind home plate.
Akane-kun took the gate apart with one punch.
"Where's your pen?" HSaotome jeered as she flipped behind Akane-kun.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" He shouted as he missed another punch.
Haruko Saotome managed to dodge by only an inch or so. Too close for comfort. She smirked, nevertheless. Before Akane-kun could throw another punch, the real Haruko slammed into him, riding her Vespa. A red Kashin tackled Akane-kun, easily pinning him.
"Get on!" Haruko gestured for HSaotome to ride. Haruko was in her normal clothing now, having removed the old Ukyo era gear.
They jetted off, "We got an appointment to make!"
Kashin took Akane-Kun to the school's flagpole and wrapped it around him. Then Kashin flew after Haruko's Vespa.
"Grrr!" Akane-kun struggled. Then the full brunt of realization of his current situation returned. Genma Saotome had to pay for this.
Part 2: Sailors Unite!
"...so Ranma and Kama are the same person," Tofu summarized the past twenty five minutes.
"That is not possible!" Kuno shouted in disbelief.
"Kama-chan is my friend, you can not mean to suggest that my choice in friends is incorrect!" Kodachi took a dangerous tone.
"But Ranma would never hurt anyone if it could be avoided," Kasumi restated, serenely.
"..." Tofu slapped himself in the face. He felt like beating his own head against a wall, "Ok, then, our priority is to-"
Haruko burst into the clinic, dragging HSaotome behind her, "Wha'd I miss?"
Everyone sweatdropped at her.
"Kama-chan!" Kodachi stood up from the table and approached HSaotome, "Explain to them that you are not Ranma Saotome!"
"Why, of course I am!" HSaotome smiled, "But some of the time I'm me!"
Kodachi blinked. Kuno followed suit. Tofu threw in a blink as well, for good measure. Kasumi sipped a glass of tea that had somehow found its way into her hands.
"Don't mind 'er!" Haruko sat at a fourth seat, propping her legs up and reclining, "I just poisoned Ranma, no big!"
Half of the room blinked. Kasumi sipped her tea peacefully.
Then Kuno got an idea. He walked over to Kasumi, grabbing her hot tea and splashed it on HSaotome. Her eyes resumed their normal color as she became Ranma.
"What the hell?" Ranma blinked dazedly. He remembered walking all around town and fighting an angry boy vaguely. He then realized he was in the same room as the four sailors, "Again, what the hell?"
"Nothin'" Haruko splashed both Kuno and Ranma with a convenient bucket of water.
"Watch your aim, audacious one!" Kuno-chan growled. She then proceeded to dry off herself with a towel handed to her by Tofu.
"Oh dear, what a mess," Kasumi muttered.
" I really don't like gettin' wet, if ya don't mind,"
HSaotome wrung out her clothes, which were soaked more from the bucket than the tea.
"So... what do we do now?" Kodachi sat down again.
"We need to find your leader, the Magical Pretty Princess," Tofu rubbed his temples while holding his glasses in one hand.
"Ah," Haruko smirked, "And how would that be done?"
"Well, since you are all Nerima based, I assume it would be one of Ranma's enemies, " Tofu replaced his glasses. The thought that 'Haruko' possessed magic powerful enough to imprint her personality on anyone was disturbing.
A white cat watched this entire event calmly from its perch on top of a cabinet.
"Its midnight," Kasumi stated, looking at a wall clock, " Tomorrow is Saturday, you girls might miss school. " She turned toward the Kuno siblings as she said this. Kuno-chan grimaced at the word "girl."
"I would prefer it, Miss Kasumi, if you would not refer to me as a girl," Kuno-chan stated politely.
"But..." Kasumi seemed confused, "You said that this hot-cold water thing was an illusion, but you are a sailor, so I thought that meant you were really a girl..."
Kuno-chan flinched, "Tis ignoble of me to disparage the observative abilities of a maiden such as thee, but ..." Kuno-chan realized that Kasumi seemed completely blank, "Never you mind. Come, sister, let us away to our residence to prepare for tomorrow."
"Yes, brother," Kodachi stood, not taking her eyes off of Kama-chan or Haruko2, whichever was before her. No doubt a nefarious trick. This Haruko2 must be destroyed.
As the siblings headed out, Tofu shouted after them, "Don't forget to check for the princess!" They mumbled acknowledgement before closing the door behind them.
"So, whatcha want me ta do?" Haruko picked her nose, "Ya want me ta find some princess?" And yes, she did take her gloves off. They rested halfway out of the left pocket of her red coat.
"That and fight the demonoids that crop up, "Tofu adjusted his glasses.
"'Demonoids'?" Haruko examined the finger she had been picking her nose with.
"They are like crosses between animals or objects with people, " Tofu explained.
"Ah, so they may be dog boys?" Haruko casually wiped her hand on the table, which Kasumi quickly cleaned.
"Possibly, but they as frequently appear comical as they do horrifying, so be on your guard, " Tofu advised, "They are all deadly."
Kasumi lifted Haruko's booted feet, at first to clean under them, before realizing how dirty the boots themselves were,
"Oh dear," Kasumi began to clean the boots with several items from her purse. How impolite it was to not remove your shoes before entering someone else's house!
Haruko didn't seem to care, possibly pleased with the idea of having someone diligently clean her boots.
"Just because something looks like an anthropomorphic kitten doesn't mean that it won't try to take a chunk out of you,"
Tofu elaborated.
"So I gotta watch out for Hello Kitty?" Haruko chuckled.
"Possibly, yes," Tofu nodded with a very serious look.
Haruko found this hilarious. Haruko2 followed suit by laughing wildly.
"Hmm," Tofu raised an eyebrow, "How long is Ranma going to be like this?"
"Ah, maybe four more hours," Haruko thought, "Sooner if he keeps gettin splashed."
"Explain," Tofu requested.
"Well, the sub persona is only strong enough ta control him about five ta seven hours, " Haruko smirked, "Assumin' that he's asleep or not expectin' to change. The other persona isn't close enough ta his personality ta control him 'cept when he's a girl. It doesn't need ta work hard ta get 'im ta do what it wants as long as he doesn't know ta resist. It won't go away, by the way. After its rested about eight or nine hours, it'll re charge."
"Ah," Tofu started to wonder about this girl again, "and how long have you been doing this?"
"First time, " Haruko replied with an unreadable smile.
Kasumi finished cleaning up the grime on Haruko's boots when she suddenly realized, "Ranma has school tomorrow too!"
"Oh, well, he's sleepin' right now, I think," Haruko pointed at Haruko2, "But I guess I should take 'im home."
"I can do that for you," Kasumi offered.
"Nah, you and the perfesser oughta clean up what we left at the school," Haruko rose and led Haruko2 outside with a knowing laugh. She didn't close the door behind her.
"What do you suppose she meant by that, Dr. Tofu?" Kasumi wondered.
"We had better check," Tofu was sweating very slightly.
The white cat ran out the open door. Kasumi didn't see it, and Tofu only caught a flash of white.
Kashin and Ryoga had been waiting outside. Ryoga had no idea why or how Haruko had done whatever she had done to Ranma, or what she was doing in this clinic, but he was pretty sure that it had something to do with getting even with Ranma. He was sure also that this was only the first step.
When two girls emerged from the building, he had a stirring of uncertainty. The first one was wearing an ill-fitting Kendo uniform and the second wore a sailor-leotard suit. He recognized its style from earlier. He recognized the girl from earlier as well. The one that stole Kashin. She seemed powered down, but...
Ryoga interposed himself between her and Kashin, who similarly watched her carefully. She had repaired him in her lab, but had no doubt planned on reprogramming him.
"Hello Kashin," she smiled before following her brother away from the boy and his mecha.
Ryoga and Kashin visibly and audibly shuddered. Well, actually, Kashin shuddered only visibly, but his TV set of a head flashed his unhappiness. But, I digress...
He was uncertain about this place after seeing that girl, but Ryoga trusted Haruko. Surely she was still bent on destroying the Kamaitachi.
But, if that were true, why would he have to wait outside? It was so frustrating. He had been tortured physically and mentally by this monster of a human being.
"I'm takin' over -Ranma Saotome, Kamaitachi."
"We are better! I'll show you!"
"i will unLock YouR trUe power."
"Oops, I guess I broke my promise."
"What? Are you going to try to hit me?"
"RANMA!" "BECAUSE OF YOU I'M IN HELL!"
"Uhh, who are you again?"
"i Suppose it iS like YOUR nightmare."
Ryoga felt sick thinking about Ranma. That one person had ruined his life. Ruined his life and made HIM look like the crazy one. Now Haruko was toying with Ranma. It would be a recipe for disaster. He should just forget Haruko and...
"I want to travel with you."
The memory of their (very odd) first meeting rang in his mind. He wasn't sure why, but he decided to trust her judgement.
"Hey!" her voice suddenly hit him, "Ryochan!"
He realized that he had been staring at the sky.
"Let's get goin," she gestured for him to get on the Vespa. He followed her. That's when Ranma-chan hopped onto his shoulders.
"What are you doing?" Ryoga asked with unnatural calm.
"Ridin'," Haruko2 laughed.
"Get offa me," Ryoga demanded with the same calm.
"No," Haruko2 bent so as to look Ryoga in the face, "I don't wanna!"
"Grr..." Ryoga's left eye twitched.
"Just put up with it for now, " Haruko looked back as she revved the moped. Ryoga grudgingly acquiesced.
They zipped off, with Kashin in hot pursuit.
The white cat from the clinic watched them zip away. Its eyes narrowed.
Part 3: Meet the Parents
"Hey, Haruko Saotome!" Haruko addressed Haruko2, "I don't think there's enough room for two of us!"
"Hear ya, hear ya!" Haruko2 grinned, "How's about Haruko Saotome starts speakin' in the third person?"
"Yeah, but ya need a different name, one that's compact," Haruko replied.
"How about Selphie?" Haruko2 suggested.
"Naah, I ain't one fer copyright infringement,"
Haruko shook her head, "How does Edward strike ya? Its nice and confusing."
"Ooh yes!" Haruko2 laughed childishly, "Ed likes that!"
"Its settled then," Haruko smiled, "No hornin' in on my gig now!"
"Ed wouldn't think of doing that!" Edward laughed in her new, childish laugh, "Ed wonders what Ed's father will say."
Ryoga blinked several times during this bizaare exchange.
Genma opened the front door when a knock came. He had one hand behind his back with a straight jacket. He'd woken Nabiki and Soun when he'd arrived. Kasumi and Akane were missing. Strange that Ranma had been out all night at the same time. He had expected to see Ranma-chan, but was surprised to see a boy with a red bandanna and a girl with yellow irises.
"Oh!" Haruko pointed at Genma, her face in a neutral expression, "You must be Genma Saotome!"
"We have not met," Genma was sure that the boy was none other than Ryoga the Stampede, but who was the girl? Could she be...
"My name's Haruko Haruhara, " She opened her hand to shake.
Genma dropped the straight jacket that had been behind his back and shook her hand, "Yes, well, I AM Genma Saotome, what have you been doing with my son?"
"Kissing!" She laughed after they released hands.
Everyone (now including Soun and Nabiki, who had been curious) fell over, then quickly stood.
"Cuz' we're ENGAGED!" She seemed to get a kick out of the last word.
"What is the meaning of this, Saotome!?" Soun grabbed Genma by his gi.
"I have no ide-" Genma began.
"You might remember Ukyo Kuonji?" Haruko smirked.
"I do not recognize my child's right to propose marriage!" Genma shouted, pale with shock.
"Wait!" Ryoga backed away from Ed, "Why would Ranma propose marriage to someone he THOUGHT was a guy!?"
"It is a tragic story!" Haruko began to appear mock faint, with her eyes closed and the back of one hand against her forehead, "How, when we were children, when I approached him in dress revealing my true gender, he accepted my stong suggestion to propose marriage!"
"Ranma thought at the time that seeing a member of the opposite sex bare meant that he had to marry them," Genma explained to Soun, "And Mr. Kuonji was desparate to arrange a marriage for his tomboy daughter."
Soun looked at the grease covered, now ear picking girl that spontaneously burped aloud and he let go of Genma, "I understand now, Genma."
"I refused to let my demon-like son enter into a marriage arrangement with a total stranger," Genma explained, a halo forming over his head.
"Ya took the dowry, though," Haruko casually examined her gloved hand.
"I was hungry," Genma said pathetically, his halo instantly vanishing.
"Ed is confuuused," Ed blinked.
"Genma, I believe we have a problem here," Soun nudged Genma.
"Er, yes. Right," Genma had to get rid of this girl quickly. Ranma was already acting so strangely, "Well... Ranma is already officially engaged."
"Oh?" Haruko looked at Genma with interest.
"To..." Genma's mind worked quickly, "Akane Tendo!"
"So, this Akane Tendo lives in this house?" Haruko asked.
"Correct, so as is apparent, you must lea-" Soun tried to say.
"Then its only fair that I stay here to represent my claim!" Haruko picked up a yellow duffel bag from behind the trio.
"Yay!" Ed danced as she entered the home, "Now Edward has someone new to play with!"
"Edward?" Soun asked Genma, who shrugged in response.
Haruko walked in with the duffel bag over one shoulder, pulling a very unwilling Ryoga in, "And I am an excellent cook, especially with Okonomiyaki." Haruko gestured to the large spatula on her back.
Soun and Genma were not gluttonous men. Well, maybe Genma was a glutton, but Soun was a very pragmatic man at heart. He realized the value of free food. Even if it was from a suspicious tomboy.
Nabiki watched this exchange with a bit of her standard interest in information and partially out of fear over these new people. This was Ryoga the Stampede, the boy that she had seen exit her room a few days ago. She approached the new girl, "Who are you, really?"
"I'm nothing but a figment of your imagination,"
Haruko smiled, "Or maybe I'm just an extra hand around the house that doesn't extort people for money."
Nabiki shivered at the piercing, yet somehow mirthful look in the girl's eyes. It was so much like the normal Ranma's and yet... it was so different, "Seriously, I can make an honest answer worth your while." Nabiki was serious when she actually offered money.
"Identity is not something you can buy or sell,"
Haruko said sagely, "Its something you either have, make, or steal." She grinned like the cheshire cat on the last word. Then she made her way upstairs, following Ranma-chan (Ed) with a frightened Ryoga in tow.
This was too strange for Nabiki. She just didn't feel up to it. It was something she decided to sleep on.
Part 4: And a New Day Begins...
Ranma-chan awoke that morning feeling unusually rested. Last night she had had a strange dream. Most of it was faded, but she remembered being in a room with all of the sailors and a man in a dark brown gi with glasses vividly. Wait, did she go to sleep in this form?
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Someone will suffer if I am wet!
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"Oh, Rankun, please let me sleep!" a female voice muttered into Ranma-chan's left ear.
Something about that statement, coupled with not really remembering the previous night and the idea of being undetectably wet made Ranma blush. It then became obvious that both of them were clothed. Now she just felt stupid.
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It would be better than waking up soaking wet, at least. For the perp, I mean.
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It was then that warm water cascaded onto her.
"So!" a different voice sounded from above,
"You IS man!"
"Shampoo," Ranma rose and prepared to kill.
"Shampoo so happy!" Shampoo hopped, "now Shampoo no need kill Ranma!"
"Oh?" Ranma chuckled in a fashion so as to say that that was the least of her problems.
"If yer gonna talk to the China-girl there, please go somewhere else so I can sleep, " Haruko directed with both eyes closed.
"Shampoo marry Ranma, save honor, save tribe,"
Shampoo giggled, glomping onto Ranma.
"What!?" Haruko stood immediately, one hand on Shampoo's shoulder, "You ain't gonna marry him, missy!"
"Shampoo is to be leader of Amazon tribe one day!"
Shampoo let go of Ranma and gave Haruko a dark look, "Shampoo do what Shampoo want. Red girl can just go back sleeping!"
"Lissen here, Princess Amazon!" Haruko started with a threatening tone.
"Shampoo not take this!" Shampoo brought forth two bonbori.
"Bweeee!" P-Chan cried pathetically from inside the cage he had been placed in last night.
"Look, you two can sort this without me," Ranma waved them off as he exited the guest room, "Just lock the door when yer done!"
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How rude! Maybe I should plant Shampoo's head in one of those spheres she likes so much.
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Ranma left for school earlier than planned. He had been planning on a sunday meeting, so his office would be empty today except for Hiroshi and (possibly) Daisuke or maybe some of their subordinants. That Shin guy seemed like a decent organizer. Maybe he'd be filing something? Well, it would be worthless to call a meeting on such short notice. He just have to kill time fighting someone... oh wait, Kuno was a sailor now.
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It'll be a difficult pine box to fill.
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Ranma shrugged and stood in the place where that old woman dumped water. When splashed, she continued on her way. Kuno probably wouldn't attack his Kama-chan.
Genma woke up later than expected. He had planned on attacking Ranma when he was separate from the girl. He remembered sensing great potential from Kuonji long ago. If he did not sense where this potential was now, it must mean that she had realized it. That would be a nuisance, considering that Ryoga would probably pitch in to help her if she decided to help Ranma. No one of the three could beat him.
If he really tried, he could beat all three at once, but he was afraid of what might happen if he let his power loose. Ah well, it was far too hot today to worry about this kind of thing. He got off Soun's couch and made his way to the kitchen. Kasumi and Ukyo were cooking up a storm.
"Where did you learn that technique?" Kasumi smiled in appreciation of Haruko's grace with a spatula.
"Oh, I got that from a pancake house in Canada,"
Haruko laughed as she flipped and swished some kind of food over the stove.
"Canada?" Kasumi was unleashing some tricks of her own.
"Yeah, I been ta Canada, China, India, America, Spain, Italy, Russia, you name it, I have a trick er two from the place," Haruko variated her technique a little with every name.
"Impressive," Kasumi complimented, "but can you do this?" Kasumi's hands were a blur as she cut, spliced, simmered, mixed and beat at high speed.
"Gladly," Haruko smirked as she too began using different cooking instruments at high speed.
It was Martial Arts Cooking in action. Genma's mouth watered just thinking about the combined skill of the two. Then he considered the possibility of it being inedible. This was disturbing enough that he decided to check on Akane.
He made his way to her room. When he knocked, there was no answer. The door was unlocked. Entering, he found the bed had been made and not slept in. How strange.
Shampoo had been delayed by that strange yellow eyed red head, but now she was on the prowl. She just needed to find out where Ranma would be this early on a Saturday. Did they have school on Saturday? Shampoo did not know, as she did not go to school at all. It didn't really matter.
Ranma-chan uppercutted Kuno, shouting "Womanizer" after him, as she had become accustomed to, before entering the building and taking a randomly selected passage to HQ. As expected, Hiroshi was waiting for her in her office.
"Mr. Saotome!" Hiroshi rushed forward, "Principal Kuno has come up with several new acts over night!"
"When are these acts gonna happen, and what are they?"
Ranma-chan asked.
"Well, martial arts skill is now a class and a requirement,"
Hiroshi read, "All students must take two years of martial arts starting with the Sophomore class. All juniors with at least one year are expected to take a second year."
"What else?" Ranma-chan asked.
"All first offenses that break Principal assigned rules are now punishable by... bowlcut?" Hiroshi stated with some confusion.
"Bowlcut?" Ranma-chan asked.
"Some kind of haircut sir," Hiroshi flipped a page, "Also, there are two conflicting rules that are class Zero Tolerance, sir. One states that anyone attacked must defend themselves as well as that they must attack anyone that does not seem prepared. Another states that fighting of any kind is punishable by either bowlcut or... Nerf?"
"What does 'Nerf' mean?" Ranma-chan asked, all question marks.
"No idea, sir, but there is one more rule other than standard bureaucratics," Hiroshi flipped a few pages on his clipboard, "All boys must attack Akane Tendo at least once a day, preferably as a mob."
"That makes no sense, " Ranma-chan shook her head.
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I like it. Too bad that the Prince is breaking into my territory.
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"I will investigate further, sir," Hiroshi stated, laying the clipboard on Ranma's desk and pulling on a ski mask.
"Right, " Ranma-chan nodded, "I want a full report by Sunday evening. Tell everyone that the meeting is 10:00 PM. I want to see everyone there on time."
"Yes sir!" Hiroshi nodded before heading out.
Ranma-chan sat at her desk and began reading the report. Only Hiroshi, Daisuke and Shin knew about Ranma-chan and Ranma being the same. It wasn't a fact that she really tried to hide, but, for some reason, no one else had figured it out. Maybe it was out of fear?
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Heh, I haven't even given them a good reason to fear yet.
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Breakfast had been well prepared indeed. Genma was pleased. Ukyo had taken the piglet with her as she left for parts unknown, only saying that she'd be back before dinner. Kasumi was busy cleaning. He and Soun were currently playing shogi and discussing their children.
"So you want your son to marry Akane?" Soun asked as he made a move.
"I want to have as few entanglements as possible," Genma replied, considering his options.
"Good job you're doing, "Soun stated sarcastically.
"She was prepared for this, " Genma made a move.
"Hmm..." Soun moved.
"She had this planned out, " Genma frowned, "I have no doubt that things will turn for the worst."
"I see, " Soun watched the board.
"Listen, Tendo, " Genma made a countermove, "I am going to stay to watch Ranma, but I can not protect a house unwilling. I need your support."
"Genma? Asking for help? " Soun chuckled as he moved.
"I have no option now, " Genma mulled over the board, "This is a tough position. "
"That boy is the one I punted a few days ago, " Soun stated, "Ryoga. "
"I see, " Genma moved.
"I win, " Soun made a move.
"Arg, " Genma conceded defeat after scanning the board.
"You are off, so I won't hold it against you, " Soun looked at Genma, "I think your son likes Akane. If he does not, then he may marry Haruko. I suppose our houses need not be joined if it is so unnatural."
Genma nodded.
AN 8/30/03: Well, I didn't hit what I wanted to, but after hitting 20 pages, I guess its time to post. Chapter 12 will probably have at least one fight scene and I'll hit a bunch of things I have been aiming for. If I try to cover an entire school day in this chapter, I will no doubt go over 24 pages. Eh, its late, I'm gonna hit the sack. Its also Labor day weekend, meaning that I'll have another chapter or two written before Tuesday. Barring some strange event. Anyway, I decided to merge Ranma's third alter ego with Edward because of two things: Its easier to write "Ed" than "Haruko Saotome" and its the easiest way to incorporate Cowboy Bebop into the fic. Might as well. Genma is back, but I'm going to use Haruko as an excuse to stop him from tying up Ranma at every turn (he would do that, y'know). Also, I AM going to use FLCL eps 4-5 in some order, not sure which I'll do first. I'll probably freestyle some stuff. ep 6 probably will not ever be integrated completely. Expect more Konatsu, Kiyone, and maybe Mihoshi in the future. That's all I have to say now. Its 2:21 AM. Good night.
Next: Rest of the day for the whole crew! Wackiness abounds. or something.
