Through His Eyes
Summary: A look into Atemu's mind as he played the Seal of Oricalcos against Raphael in the duel.
This fic was meant to capture Atemu's pain in loosing Yugi. It might get a little angsty, but I don't think it's really all that bad. This is a one-shot, but it doesn't have a pairing. Anyway, on with the fic!
"And now I activate the Seal of Oricalcos!"
That's how it started.
I remember Yugi's cry of pain as the seal was activated, but I ignored him. This was all for the greater good, right? I had hypnotized myself with that thought. This was the best choice. For the world, and for me.
Too bad I was wrong.
I opened my eyes to look at Raphael, who held the same stolid expression as always. I felt something deep within my chest, burning, wanting to be let out. I was suddenly angry at Raphael for everything and yet nothing at all. I was angry that he brought me here. I was angry that he took Professor Hawkins. I was angry because Yugi was gone.
But I was also angry at myself for playing the Seal.
The Oricalcos necklace tingled against my collar-bone. It matched the feeling within me. It dimly registered that I was dueling, so that's what I did. I dueled him. I dueled him to win and to save the world.
I suppose I was wrong about that too.
At first, I guess I was doing well because by the time I really realized what I was doing he was down to his last 100 life-points. Everything went by in a blur but I can remember a few distinct things.
My Dragon being destroyed.
Sacrificing all of my monsters to win.
And the sad green eyes of the Dark Magician Girl looking back at me.
It was only when Raphael began to tell me I was wicked and evil did I regain my senses. I looked around the field in horror. Suddenly, that burning inside my chest grew. I had done something wrong. Heck, I had done everything wrong!
I sacrificed my own monsters; went rambling on about power; I allowed the Seal to overtake me; and I lost Yugi.
What could be worse?
It was when he summoned his Guardian Eatos (EE-ya-tos) that I knew it was over. It registered in my mind that I was going to loose the duel, and my soul. I could feel her power surrounding Raphael at all times and I knew she would be the one who carried out my defeat.
I was going to loose the duel.
The burning subsided slightly at this thought and I felt like I was able to breathe a bit easier. But it still hurt. The Guardian's golden eyes locked with mine and I suddenly felt peace.
It's all going to be over. I might actually end up in a better place if my soul is taken. Maybe, I'll make it to the after-life and be able to see my father from 5000 years ago. That wouldn't be so bad… Maybe I'd remember everything too, and it would all be ok. It's not like I'm needed here anyway, I am evil.
I still struggled though. I'm too stubborn not to. I didn't want to loose, no matter how peaceful it sounded. I had only lost one duel before and that had cost me Yugi's trust; I didn't realize then that this one would cost me his soul.
All of my monsters from the graveyard came out. Though they all hurt me, the ones that hurt me most were The Dark Magician and the Dark Magician Girl. They all stared at me with… what was it?
Disgust?
Pity?
Hatred?
Betrayal?
Maybe it was all four.
I couldn't bear the fact that my monsters hated me; it was just too hard to handle. I couldn't take all of it at once. Why did I betray them? My own monsters, I turned against. How could I do that? Was I really that shallow?
All I could do was beg them for their forgiveness.
They swirled around me quickly and then went into the Guardian's lustrous sword. This is the end… I thought bitterly, almost in anticipation I suppose. It shone with a light I couldn't even look at.
And finally, the end came.
She brought down her sword, using all her power. Yes, all 10000 points, I could feel it. And she destroyed both my monsters and the rest of my life-points. I stood, still on both feet after the huge attack; I believe I was still steaming from it as well. But I had a slight smile on my face. It's done… I can go now…in peace…
Raphael was saying something, I can't remember what, I wasn't really paying attention to him. The ground was much more amusing than his face was. Wouldn't that have been a great last sight? I can see it now, in the after-life. 'So what was your last sight, huh, Atemu? Was it the face of your true love?' 'No, it was the ground.'
Yeah, if nothing else there's some bitterness still left in me.
The Seal surrounded me and I waited for my soul to be released. But then someone pushed me. I stumbled forward and turned around in shock. Who would be saving me! I screamed mentally. My mind went numb as I saw my twin soul there.
Yugi!
He had switched so he was the one in control of the body. "It only needs one of us, so I'm letting the Seal take me instead…"
"No! Yugi!"
But it was too late. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save Yugi. He wouldn't let me take over again. The Seal took his soul and left the field. I was in my soul room, looking around frantically.
"Yugi!"
"YUGI!"
"YUGI!"
I sprinted into his soul-room and looked around. Toys scattered the floor messily and there was a bed in one corner. Despite all the childish things that were in the room, and all the light in the small room; it was cold and dark. Not literally, but it just felt…
Empty…
I looked around again, more frantically this time. I called his name over and over again until I thought my voice would go hoarse.
But he wasn't there.
"No, no… not this… please, Yugi…" I muttered incoherently. I couldn't comprehend the fact that I lost him. I didn't want to comprehend the fact that I had lost him. But it was true. My Light was gone, and only my darkness was left.
I opened my eyes to the outside world slowly, bitterly. I was surprised to see the faces of my, no, Yugi's friends before me. I stood up wearily and looked at the place I just dueled. The pain nearly overwhelmed me. I felt cold and fear, but worse;
I felt empty.
It was then that the fact hit me full force. Yugi was gone, and I can't get him back. I can't save him.
"So, how'd ya do it, Yug?"
"I didn't."
"What? How can we be talking to ya, if he took your soul!"
"He didn't take my soul… Not mine, Yugi's… He took Yugi's soul!" I said loudly. I didn't realize that tears were falling until I felt them on my cheeks. It would've surprised me, had I cared.
"It's not fair!" I fell onto my knees, "It should've been me, not him!" I smashed my fists onto the ground hard, but I couldn't feel the pain. It was nothing compared to the turmoil in my soul.
"IT'S NOT FAIR!"
Dimly, it registered to me that I was crying and screaming like a small child would when it doesn't get their way, but it didn't really matter at that time. I was in too much anguish to care. Yugi was gone, and I couldn't get him back.
And I couldn't get him back…
That made me cry all the harder.
It's one thing if you loose your best friend or a family member. But this was my twin soul. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Yugi. But I couldn't save him. He gave up his soul for me, but I didn't want him to. It was MY fault that I lost! Couldn't he understand that! I should be the one whose soul is gone! Not him!
"It should be me… not him… I should've gone…
"I should've been the one to leave… I'm not needed here like he is…
"It should've been me…" and then, everything went dark for a while.
Wow, that was angsty! Anyway, this fic was just somethin to do while I'm on a slight Writers Block for my other fics... Yeah, WRITERS BLOCK! -Everyone gasps- Isn't that horrible? This came to me while I was watching this episode though, I'm thankful it did too. It was interesting to write, and I'm glad how it came out; I only hope that I was able to capture his pain accurately. And guess what? It only took me two hours to write! Heh, anyway...
To those who were wondering, the burning in his chest was actually his purity coming through, but it couldn't do anything for him... so yeah, also at the end, when it says that everything went dark for a while, that doesn't mean that he lost conciousness... he just fazed out of it for a while and put everything on Auto-pilot. :)
PLEASE REVIEW!
Ja ne!
