Disclaimer:I own none of the characters in this fic, nor am I in any way trying to claim so or make any sort of profit... which is sort of a thing you might expect from a huge archive of fanfiction. I mean, no one writes fanfiction for money. That would be either/both sad or/and strange. No doubt that this is somehow Ranma's fault.

The Inner Demon Chapter 13: The Belated Halloween One

No one respected Hikaru Gosunkugi. They all laughed at him. They mocked him and traded gossip. Maybe it was the voodoo dolls, or the lit candles attached to his head... Nevertheless, he WOULD have justice. Hikaru Gosunkugi had taken his last splash for Nabiki Tendo.

Part 1: Amazons are in the House!

Ranma Saotome dried off in his office, having returned there to change back from Ranma-chan, "Hiroshi, has anyone seen to Daisuke, yet?"

"No sir, " Ranma's nigh everpresent right hand man replied.

"I suppose I should see to that, " Ranma sighed.

"Pardon me, sir, but you have made an appointment with one Hikaru Gosunkugi, " Hiroshi glanced at the clipboard he had had with him ever since joining the Kamaitachi's syndicate. It was odd how working in a semi-legitimate "extracurricular" organization had reformed him. He was almost as well organized as his crazy great-great uncle Hoshi.

"Yeah, that's the fill in for Daisuke, huh? " Ranma tapped his chin, "Maybe I oughtta cancel..."

"He hates Nabiki Tendo with a passion, " Hiroshi flipped a page, "apparently some sort of blackmail involving Akane... "

Ranma was no longer in the office by this time. He was well on his way to meeting Gosunkugi. Then he realized that he didn't know where Gosunkugi was or when they were supposed to meet. He promptly turned around and dashed back to his office (via a "broken" bathroom stall).

"New restaurant, Cat Cafe, immediately, " Hiroshi said, deadpan, when Ranma showed up.

Ranma nodded graciously and headed out again.

Shampoo had wanted to find Ranma and drag him all the way back to China, but it was about time to meet her great grandmother.

Great Grandmother was a formidable fighter. Shampoo had no doubt that Ranma would no longer pose a threat to the amazon kingdom. Although...

Genma had managed to leave the Tendo house to find his son. After seeing the carnage that had ensued in the Kashin-Werewolven Clown Robot battle, he redoubled his efforts. Unfortunately, he passed by a new restaurant, "Damn... distractions..."

Haruko, P-chan, Kashin, Kasumi, and Kodachi stumbled across a new restaurant after bandaging themselves up and getting their second winds. Any sane person would have realized it was time to disband this group of ticking time bombs, but...

Kiyone and Mihoshi were waiting in a Nerima restaurant called "The Cat Cafe" with Konatsu, trying to ascertain the current whereabouts of Ryoga the Stampede. They'd lost him when he ran off to fight the monster that had jumped out of his skull. Well, actually, Mihoshi was just drinking heavily and laughing at her hands. This only sounds more pathetic when you realize that she's drinking condiments.

Ranma ran into a skinny, gothish boy with short, dark hair outside of the Cat Cafe, "Sorry," Ranma quickly apologized as he helped the kid up and helped himself to the kid's wallet. Which Ranma would later discover only had locks of human hair in it.

The boy brushed himself off, "A-are you Ranma Saotome? "

"Hikaru Gosunkugi? " Ranma smirked.

"Yes.." the boy looked at his feet.

"Well, welcome aboard, Mr. Gosunkugi! "

"Mr..."

"You are now officially the temporary standin for Daisuke, my left hand man. "

"Just like that?"

"I'm a good judge of people, Mr. Gosunkugi."

----------------------------------------------------

I have found one of the twelve!

----------------------------------------------------

Ranma reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a shiny stone. It seemed innocuous enough... "This is a special gift from me to you."

"W-what is it?"

"A special magic charm."

"Magic?" Gosunkugi's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, so keep it with you, always."

"Yessir!" Hikaru Gosunkugi was very happy now, as he held the magic stone.

"Now, let's get some grub!" Ranma entered the restaurant with Gosunkugi in tow.

Once inside, he noticed that all of the people present were very familiar to him. Ah yes. All too familiar.

"Ranma Saotome!" A shriveled up, ghoulish creature bounced up to him from the kitchen.

"What are you?" Ranma took a cautionary step backwards.

"I am Shampoo's great grandmother! " the little creature screeched.

"Master!?" Genma stood at his table, wide eyed. Noodles fell from his mouth as he spoke.

"Happosai!?" Ranma hopped, shocked.

"Dearies! I am Shampoo's great grandmother, Cologne!" the little whiskered ghoul cackled.

Genma rushed up to the creature, "Why have you sunk to impersonating an amazon elder for panties!?"

"What!? How dare... " the midget waved its pipe threateningly.

"Uh... would Master Happosai wear... uh.. ahem!" Ranma started feeling nauseous.

"Ranma, " Genma focused on his son, "Did you knock the Master into a spring when you fought him in China? "

"No, pops... " Ranma looked a little green.

"Ranma! You meet great grandmother!?" Shampoo burst in from behind.

"Sorta," Ranma blinked at the smiling midget before him.

"Great Grandmother very strong, " Shampoo stated proudly, "She can beat anyone! Even Ranma! "

"Heh heh, gotta go! " Ranma stuttered nervously before running past Shampoo in a panic.

"He scared of great grandmother's fighting power!" Shampoo thought, pleased.

Genma mindlessly sat at the table he'd previously occupied.

"What was that about, Kiyone? " Mihoshi asked the blue haired woman.

"Better we didn't know, " Kiyone frowned slightly as Mihoshi started to choke on a packet of soy sauce.

Part 2: The Black Cloaked Man

Ranma ran a good five blocks before noticing that he had been dragging Gosunkugi by the shoulder. This occured to him when he landed on something soft after leaping from a roof into an alley.

"Finally, the Kamaitachi! " a voice cried out in the darkness of the alley.

"Gods! Not ANOTHER sailor! " Ranma's head darted around.

"No, my friend, " a black cloaked figure emerged, "Much worse."

"Hah!" Ranma cracked his knuckles.

"Kill him, then I will let you go free, " the figure spoke as a pumpkin headed demon emerged from behind the mysterious person.

The thing had an evil face carved into it's pumpkin and had a tough, leathery hide that covered its thin, frail-looking body until it reached its hands, which resembled metallic claws, "I am Sam Hain. I shall bath in your blood. " It was easily nine feet tall.

"Whatever, " Ranma took a stance with a smirk.

The figure stepped back into the shadows, with an eerie laugh.

Then the monster rushed at Ranma, attacking him from both sides at once with its deformed arms.

Ranma deftly dodged these attacks and tied the arms together, using them as a platform to use an aerial double punch on the thing, which caused it to fly into the air.

Too bad that it could fly.

A rain of red projectiles sliced up everything in the alley, except for Ranma, who landed a descending elbow into the creature's back.

Sam Hain smashed into the ground head first. Ranma landed on top of his battered form, delivering savage kick after savage kick, but Hain managed to wrap an elastic arm around Ranma's neck and force him to the ground. The beast howled in triumph as Ranma passed out.

The last thing Ranma saw was a green beam of light and a splattering pumpkin.

Part 3: Why Do They Always Pick On Ryoga?

Ryoga exited the Cat Cafe in haste shortly after paying for his meal. Actually, he was paying for himself, Haruko, and Kashin. Not that he wanted to, but Haruko somehow connived him into paying for all of them. Even stranger was the fact that Kashin had insisted on eating, despite not having any mode of digestion.

But, I digress. Kiyone and Mihoshi were right on his heels from the moment he stood to leave. They asked a barrage of questions, ranging from "How do you control your N.O.?" to "Boxers or Briefs?" He simply grimaced and grunted, as Haruko chuckled.

"Kashin, get me outta here, " Ryoga ordered the robot, who lifted the Eternally Lost Boy and flew in a random direction.

"Kiiiiiiiyoneeeeeee! " Mihoshi whined, "How will we catch up to Mr. Ryoga? "

Kiyone sighed, "I don't know, Mihoshi. "

"Use this! " Haruko handed Kiyone a tracking device, "I slipped a tracker inta his food."

"Why?" Kiyone blinked as she recieved the device.

"'Why?' What kinda question is that to ask someone that just helped ya?" Haruko grinned as Kiyone grimaced.

"'Why' is an interrogative statement intended to increase a body of available information for the determination of purpose!" Mihoshi smiled vacantly.

"She's been drinking soy sauce and ketchup for half an hour, " Kiyone deadpanned.

"Oh, " Haruko blinked at the blonde, "G-bye, then. " Haruko mounted her Vespa (which had a strange habit of being where it needed to be) and took off.

"Now we just have to find Mr. Ryoga! " Mihoshi giggled, unaware that she was completely alone.

Ryoga was riding inside Kashin's chest cavity. It was odd how much room was inside that little space. The compartment was open enough to allow Ryoga to watch where they were going. It was then that a flying creature came in from behind him, firing small bolts of energy and screeching. It was like an oversized, decomposing bat with laser cannons attached to its back.

"Why me!?" Ryoga shouted in frustration as he ducked into Kashin and closed the compartment.

Kashin stopped in mid-air and turned red.

The dactyl was strafing Kashin, who deflected the bolts with his hands.

It screeched in frustration and fired a large ball of blackish red energy at the robot, who simply punched it back to the creature, bursting it.

Haruko was speeding down the street on her yellow vespa as a short haired, clean shaven man wearing a business suit and sunglasses caught up to her on a white vespa.

"Who're you!?" She frowned slightly.

"Ukyo? You've already forgotten me? " Konatsu smirked.

"I'm not Ukyo, " She took an evasive turn, but failed to foil her pursuer.

"Oh, so is it Haruha Raharu now? " Konatsu asked as he sped up to meet her.

"Bzzzzzzzzzzt! Wrong!" She drove off of an overpass, into oncoming traffic.

"Haruko Haruhara, then? " the man dodged the flow of swerving vehicles to meet her.

"Rrrrrr..." Haruko looked for an escape.

"I think you might as well call yourself Ryoko Raharu, the intersteller outlaw, " Konatsu smirked.

Haruko suddenly recognized the man, "Good bye!" She swerved into the side of a butane truck.

The resulting explosion threw a very surprised Amaro Konatsu into a very surprised deli.

Ryoga grimaced as he picked the garbage off of himself.

Kashin had been thrown into a garbage barge after the last fight, so the regurgitated Ryoga found himself caked in the smellier, dirtier refuse.

"Let's not do that again, okay pal? " Ryoga looked at the apologetic robot.

A distant explosion rang in Ryoga's ears, "Damn, that must be because of me." He looked at the now-setting sun. "That seems a bit early. I guess there's going to be no sleep tonight. Why me?"

"Can the melodrama, kid, " a voice rang out.

"Who is that!?" Ryoga looked around at the heaps of garbage.

"Never you mind. I am just making you a deal. If you kill Ranma Saotome, I will remove your curses."

"Why?"

"Inquisitive. I have my reasons."

Part 4: The Great Necromancer

Ok, Gosunkugi hadn't gotten the hang of his power yet. In fact, he wasn't sure what was happening. He remembered being face down in the mud, just before being stabbed repeatedly by something. Then, a voice spoke to him, "I am Velius, attendant to Lord Mavasheragato, bond with me and we shall rain doom upon your enemies!"

The thought of raining doom upon Nabiki Tendo was too tempting.

He awoke from what he presumed was death and saw a monster choking Ranma. He instinctively reached out and fired a beam of energy, which destroyed the demon.

And that was the only success he was having. After accidentally turning several sewer rats into lawyers and summoning a decomposing pterodactyl and a homocidal suit of robot armor (which possessed the undead dinosaur), he decided it would be best if he just found his way home. Whichever direction that was.

He didn't get far before being accosted by three Sailors. Sailor Kodachi, Sailor Kasumi, and Sailor Kuno questioned him about dragging the prone form of the Kamaitachi and about the rat-man lawyers that had scampered out of the alley from which he had emerged.

He politely told them to go away.
"For the love of God, don't hurt me!"

They respectfully declined.
"We will send the beast and its lackie to Hell!"

He insisted that they were mistaken.
"He did it, not me!"

They begged to differ.
"Coward! You die first!"

He offered convincing evidence to his claims.
"I want my mommyyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

They held their position.
"Die demonoid scum!"

Sailor Kasumi rushed up and gut punched Gosunkugi, who crumpled instantly.

"That was easy, " Kodachi blinked, dismayed.

"Too easy, " Kuno-chan narrowed her eyes, "Verily! It rises once more! "

Gosunkugi rose, alright. He rose about twenty feet into the air. A flash of light and several unearthly roars accompanied the youth's frantically screaming transformation into a hideous monster. It was a cross between a four armed Mr. Universe and a goat, "Am I... Velius!?"

"It speaketh! " Sailor Kuno held her sword aloft, "Let us commence to engage in battle, base minion of evil! "

It was then that a rose zipped into the ground in front of Kuno.

"Stay your sword, Sailor Courage!" A man in a tuxedo, wearing a turban and dark sunglasses spoke deeply.

"Who are you!? " Kodachi took her eyes away from Velius.

"I'm... uh..." the figure looked around and saw a billboard for dentistry, "Chew.... " then struggled for another syllable, cursing himself, "baka!"

"Chewbacca?" Velius blinked as the sailors fell and immediately rose.

"Your name is Chewbacca!?" Kodachi shouted.

"Its a family name, " the man thought quickly, "Surely you don't disrespect the ancestors of a superhero!"

Velius, noticing that he had been forgotten at present, slinked off with Ranma over one shoulder.

"You aren't a super hero. Not with a name like Chewbacca! " Kodachi rebutted.

"You slut!" the man shouted angrily.

"What did you say!?" Kodachi's vision turned crimson.

"Uh... " the man paled under his turban.

"I distinctly heard a reference to promiscuity aimed at you, sister, " Kuno-chan deadpanned.

"Die! " Kodachi leapt at Chewbacca, a considerable feat, as he was standing on a street light, but...

"They are getting along nicely, " Kasumi sipped a mysteriously present cup of tea.

Kuno-chan blinked at this remark. Chewbacca was a dead man. "I'm going home."

"What about the monster?" Kasumi asked.

"It's just not worth it, " Kuno-chan sighed as she walked away.

"If you say so, " Kasumi smiled pleasantly before sipping her tea.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggggghhhhhhhh!"

"Play nice!"

AN 11/24/03: It's been more than a month since my last update. Sorry! This was Halloween's. I know it's short, but the Halloween Trick or Treat thing had to be left out. It just wouldn't work. So says me. Anyway, I think more has happened in this short chapter that has happened in some longer ones. Chapter 11, for instance. Anyway, I have read the FLCL manga now, so fear for the future. Given how easy it was to write this chapter, it should have come out sooner, but I felt less motivated when I saw that I wasn't nearly as far down the list of update dates as I thought I was.

As for Mavasheragato... this is not my character. Nope. And if it's your character, you know who I mean. As further verification: MONKEYS!!!

I apologize to those of you that think I really am insane at this point. It's both an inside joke and proof of identity.

Next Episode:

Ryoga: Haaaaarrrrrruuuuuuuukooooooooo!

Police Officer: Sorry kid.

Ryoga: Ranma will die for this!

Ranma: What?

Ryoga: You killed Haruko!

Ranma: Uh, actually, I have a gap in my memory
that lasts from being beaten by a pumpkin
to me being locked in a basement at 3 AM.

Ryoga: If it wasn't you, then....

Konatsu: Yoink!

Ryoga: Get back here!

Police officer: Next Episode- The Blues

Ranma: Change your clothes.

Haruko: Oooookaaaay!